Am having my first sharer woe

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Ranyhyn

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I am having my first sharer woe.

It was my sharers day to do Ed today, she has let me down very last minute saying she cannot do him becasue of snow (she lives in the same town as me and I have just been out and about in it
crazy.gif
)and I have an appointment I cannot get out of this evening, so Ed will have to wait til 9pm or so before I can get down to do him.

I am really annoyed because I give her a free rein and the horse is like her own but I expect in return she treats him like it and doesn't let me down at a moments notice.

Sigh.
 
Give her the benefit of the doubt - her car may not be good to drive in the snow BUT I think you will have to have a discussion with her regarding the responsibilities of sharing a horse and she should certainly give you more notice if she has a problem.

On a more practical note, is there someone at the yard you can ring to do Ed for you tonight?
 
I am trying to get in touch with them, they are very good at my yard and will help if they can.

The annoying thing is most of them have probably done theirs early and gone by now
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You cannot get much worse than a nissan micra, which is what I will be driving up there tonight @ 9pm, and I'll get out and walk if I have to.
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Im just so frustrated, I hate the thought of him wondering where we are
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you let people in and give them your beloved possession to share as their own...
 
That's really annoying. It's not like the snow has come as a sudden surprise is it? Can't see why she couldn't have given you way more notice. In my opinion that's a poor excuse.
 
Don't sweat the small stuff - if I had not had my OH 'rescue' my car over the weekend then despite it being fine to drive on most of the roads where I live I would not have got it out still as I live on a 45 degree hill which has been a sheet of ice and was not brave enough to risk it on my own - needed someone at the bottom to stop traffic so you could slide out safely. The city itself is fine to drive round and has been for days.

My horse often has to deal with me getting there at odd hours due to work and he is still alive and well and does not worry. Life happens, horses fit in, it isn't the end of the world and he'll cope.
 
My god the girl that has one of my horses on loan called me on the first day of our snow and said has anyone managed to get down to the yard or should i set off walking (she doesn’t even normally do morning feeds) bless her.

It is so hard for people loaning to understand that if you say you are going to do the horse that no matter what they need to do it.

You should have told her to start walking as it is her responsibility......
 
Oh, that's a shame. How long has she been sharing for?

I think it's a really tough one though because although they may love your horse and you do your best to give them free rein to treat the horse as their own and not hover over them, the horse still isn't their's and I (personally) feel it's not fair for them to behave exactly as the owner would/should.

E.g. with all the rubbish weather we've had recently, my sharer is not coming out on a Tues night as normal (usually my evening off when I get to go straight home from work) as it's unfair to ask her to come out to the yard, just to groom, feed and go home again without the enjoyment of riding also.

She's still doing a day at the weekend (I mucked out the first weekend as felt guilty about the lack of riding but she told me off and said she wanted to do it!) when she has more time and she does want to see the horse.

I agree she could have given you more warning to allow you more time to reorganise but she maybe doesn't realise just how tricky it can be to get cover at short notice.
 
Well she did have plenty of notice - I text her last night and this morning - saying if she had any problems to let me know asap as i had an app't I couldn't get out of, and still she lets me down last minute.

Funny thing is the person who is coming out to do my app't and taking money off me - is managing to come from 15 miles afield...

Funny what wanting to do something does ..eh?
 
I should, but at the start she was fabulous, she spent lots of time with him and really gelled. I think maybe its the fact winter is poo and even I hate winter sometimes.

Either way a chat is in order and finding out whether she still wants to do this, its not the first time I have had an excuse so I guess its time to find out why really.

I know that the deal with Ed is a good one and I am a very fair easy owner, so long as she looks after him she gets to do whatever she wants whenever she wants and I leave her to it - i know a lot of people would bite my arm off for that.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I am having my first sharer woe.

It was my sharers day to do Ed today, she has let me down very last minute saying she cannot do him becasue of snow (she lives in the same town as me and I have just been out and about in it
crazy.gif
)and I have an appointment I cannot get out of this evening, so Ed will have to wait til 9pm or so before I can get down to do him.

I am really annoyed because I give her a free rein and the horse is like her own but I expect in return she treats him like it and doesn't let me down at a moments notice.

Sigh.

[/ QUOTE ]

She's not as invested as you as she doesn't own the horse, with that in mind, she won't be as reliable as you might be? What is your arrangement with her?
 
no excuse - its irrelevant as to whether she owns Ed or shares him. An animal is a responsibility and "just" because it nots yours, doesnt mean you can walk away and let the animal down. She knew you would be struggling tonight, therefore she knew he would be left till late to be done. Crikey - glad my YO doesnt feel like that when she isn't well!! well worth a quiet talk!

and also, when I shared one of mine - the sharers came up regardless, even if they couldnt ride for whatever reason. They were sharing the whole package and it was never even brought into question! my last sharer stuck with my old boy when he was off and helped bring him back to work - even when I offered to finish the agreement - she felt it was part and parcel of having a horse....
 
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You cannot get much worse than a nissan micra, which is what I will be driving

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Don't diss the Micra. I am driving my daughter's Micra as my BMW is pants in the snow!
 
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no excuse - its irrelevant as to whether she owns Ed or shares him.

[/ QUOTE ]

Naturally, hence the question mark at the end of my sentence, which was posed as a possible interpretation for her behaviour - and not as a statement of fact
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am having my first sharer woe.

It was my sharers day to do Ed today, she has let me down very last minute saying she cannot do him becasue of snow (she lives in the same town as me and I have just been out and about in it
crazy.gif
)and I have an appointment I cannot get out of this evening, so Ed will have to wait til 9pm or so before I can get down to do him.

I am really annoyed because I give her a free rein and the horse is like her own but I expect in return she treats him like it and doesn't let me down at a moments notice.

Sigh.

[/ QUOTE ]

She's not as invested as you as she doesn't own the horse, with that in mind, she won't be as reliable as you might be? What is your arrangement with her?

[/ QUOTE ]

The arrangement is she treats him as her own horse. If I ever thought she had the attitude "not my horse, not my problem" she'd be off my yard faster than the speed of light
grin.gif
 
I dont think its acceptable for a sharer to behave in that manner. I guess I'm now a serial sharer although I did own for 38 years. In the 5 years I've been a sharer I have NEVER let the owner down.
My current horse I just ride, owner does all the looking after (bliss) but on friday she had a serious accident (her own car ran in to her
shocked.gif
). As soon as I heard I contacted her husband and ask him to tell her not to worry about the horses (she has 2) as I would do them until she has recovered which looks like several months. If necessary I would walk to the yard 5 miles away.
Sharers should understand the commitment required. Horses have to be done no matter what.
 
Thanks Juno, I guess I can only go by what I would do - which is as you have stated, I'd do everything in my power to get there, I know full well the main roads will be driveable and it would only be a 15min walk down a lane to get to him.

Thankfully I got hold of a trusted friend at the yard who sorted him for me and told me

"The big fella has enough hay and water to last him DO NOT try to get up here at 9pm, he'll be fine"

Nice one R
grin.gif
 
I normally stick up in defence of sharers, but without knowing how bad the snow is (has anyone else not made it to your yard?) I don't know. On the one hand I'd sayof course she needs to get on with it, on the other she may feel if its not my horse why should I risk my neck on the roads?

... with regards to the timing, could it be possible she has seen the laest onslaught of snow overnight (if there has been any)?
 
It was snowing yes, and I did respect her reluctance, but as I had been out in it I knew it wasn't that bad just to nip up and do something and come back (we live in the same town)

The sad fact is, there were plenty of people back and fore to the yard, driving little hatchbacks and sportscar, including the person who did him for me in the end.
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am having my first sharer woe.

It was my sharers day to do Ed today, she has let me down very last minute saying she cannot do him becasue of snow (she lives in the same town as me and I have just been out and about in it
crazy.gif
)and I have an appointment I cannot get out of this evening, so Ed will have to wait til 9pm or so before I can get down to do him.

I am really annoyed because I give her a free rein and the horse is like her own but I expect in return she treats him like it and doesn't let me down at a moments notice.

Sigh.

[/ QUOTE ]

She's not as invested as you as she doesn't own the horse, with that in mind, she won't be as reliable as you might be? What is your arrangement with her?

[/ QUOTE ]

The arrangement is she treats him as her own horse. If I ever thought she had the attitude "not my horse, not my problem" she'd be off my yard faster than the speed of light
grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

beam her off, Scottie
grin.gif
 
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