Am I at fault? :(

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Rosiejazzandpia

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Long story short, lost my lovely mare in march. Then lost my nannan a week later. A lady at my yard offered me her cob to ride. All writen up that I would have him on loan for a month trial amd would pay for farrier. Cob was mad and nearly killed me and so I said thank you and that I wouldnt be continuing. She seemed fone with it as I was totally honest with her. I couldnt give that horse the time he needed as I had lost family members, was very depressed and generally struggling and had a levls to worry about.
My best friend offered me a share of her little Arab in my free time no obligations just to ride when I needed a break. This is what I have done riding her at weekend and fitting it round my pt job and schoolwork (which will always come first )


then today I get this text from cobs owner:
"I believed every word you'd told me about not riding cause of your school work an ya home life instead I fine out that that wasn't the case because your still riding fraya. I let you ride him in the first place because people around the farm said ow upset you were. I'd rather not just let anybody use him I should have known there were something not rite. so to wot ever I said before as from today never take him off the premises"
Thats exactly whay she said (plus her **** spelling)
so what on earth so I do? Its really upset me because I was clear with her and there were no hard feelings.
Its really non of her business who I ride now, she is only on the same yard of my best friends horse, nothing else.

Tell me Im not going mad and there isnt a perfectly good reason for this? :(
And sorry about my spelling, im on my phone x
 
As you're not riding her mad cob and seem to have no inclination to do so in the future, I would ignore her. You have a nice arab to ride, she wanted to offload her cob onto you. She is at fault, not you. You have no obligation to her. Don't bother replying, she's being an idiot.
 
Stop stressing, sounds like you have enough on your plate as it is! Just ignore her, I can't really see what you've done wrong TBH so just leave it and move on. You kept up your side of the deal, the horse wasn't suitable, end of story. I don't know why you'd want to ride it if it was mad haha! Sounds like she's maybe got her own stuff going on like maybe she's struggling to cope with the cob herself and is disappointed she couldn't give it to you to deal with. But that's not your problem so just enjoy your friend's Arab and concentrate on getting your own stress managed.
 
I could suggest a variety of replies to send, and actions to take, but really 9tails has summed it up. She should be grateful you were polite enough not to mention the work the cob needs (as it rather sounds from her text that you told her the truth but omitted that part to save her feelings). Horsey women baffle me sometimes, there's just no need for the venom.
 
Me being me, I would have to say something :)

Perhaps a quick text saying 'I'm sorry you feel that I mislead you, but I can assure you that that wasn't the case. I am unable to commit to caring for a horse full time, hence my friend allowing me to ride her arab on an as and when basis. It would have been unfair on you for me to enter into full loan of your boy, as I would not be able, and am not able to give him the time he deserves.'

That sort of turns it around on her, saying you didn't continue with her boy as you felt he deserved better, whereas we know better ;)

Sorry to hear of your troubles, but ignore any further communication from this person, you are not in the wrong :)
 
MrsElle said:
Me being me, I would have to say something :)

Perhaps a quick text saying 'I'm sorry you feel that I mislead you, but I can assure you that that wasn't the case. I am unable to commit to caring for a horse full time, hence my friend allowing me to ride her arab on an as and when basis. It would have been unfair on you for me to enter into full loan of your boy, as I would not be able, and am not able to give him the time he deserves.'

That sort of turns it around on her, saying you didn't continue with her boy as you felt he deserved better, whereas we know better ;)

Sorry to hear of your troubles, but ignore any further communication from this person, you are not in the wrong :)
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THIS. Best way to deal with people like this, and stops any on-yard tension too to have said something rather than let her think she was right and tell everyone else the same...
 
I'd probably ring and say you are sorry she feels you mislead her but as her cob was too lively you didn't have the energy to work with him. If she persists in feeling aggrieved say it's none of her business!
 
On the basis that the text was illegible and I struggled to understand it I would ignore it. You know that you did nothing wrong. Remember that often a persons reactions to an event are mostly to do with them and the issues they have and are very little to o with you (as long as you haven't been a numpty, obviously!) :D
 
Unless you have to go onto the same yard as her for some reason, just ignore her, she's barking. If you do have to go onto the yard, MrsElle's reply is a good idea.
 
khalswitz said:
THIS. Best way to deal with people like this, and stops any on-yard tension too to have said something rather than let her think she was right and tell everyone else the same...
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NO. people like this don't deserve to have any response from you. Just ignore her and get on with your life. you cannot reason with people like this.
 
You could ignore, but she was trying to do good by you at the time, i do not think she was trying to off load her cob on to you, it was just bad timing.

But life is very short and you never know when you may need a favour or have to cross the bridge again, so just reply back and explain the situation again and thank her for her kindness, you will be the better person either way.
 
Take breath in and think im looking after me here. as others have said ignore and concebtrate on you . youre head sounds mashed so take deep breath and think "ok im thinking of self". hugs x
 
Thank you guys, I have replied and just said sorry if she felt I mislead her and that what I told her was the truth. Told her again that I did not have the time to dedicate to her horse at that moment in my life but thanked her anyway for giving the oppertunity to ride him. I have asked her to call or meet me if she still has any issues.

As some pointed out I dont want to start fights and silly little arguements. The yard is difficult to be on as it is without having people trying to get revenge or anything silly like that. At the end of the day its no longer her business as Im not riding her horse.
Im loving the little Arab. After the mad cob left my confidence in tatters she is just the thing I need. Did a two hour hack with my friend today and popped over a few logs so no more complaints from me :D
 
Ok. So I replied to the woman and very nicely said what I said, and now she is sending me abusive and threatening messages along the line of:

"It's over with now it's not easy to say to somebody you really dont know o you can take my horse and I did that to you. I dont disbelieve you at all that it was busy at school sn things were upset at home I just fort you said uou weren't riding at all an all this time iv thought wonder ow Maria is an the find out that wasn't the case cus uour still riding frayer. Im not discussing it again Maria you know you carnt take oska off the yard again. So thats. It no need to see each other to solve wot iv said there is all to be said"

"Becarfu Dont overstep the line please because this will get out of hand you can ride an care for any horse you like but not mine that's all on the matter you did nothing wrong while you were riding oska as fare as I know it want about that it was about you lien to me saying you went going to ride at all for the time being because of blah blah blah. I dont favour fibbers an liers so leave it I know where you stand and you definatly know where I stand km a lot older than you and at the end of the day we were doing each other a favour so I thought "

Can some sane person over the age of 21 please help? This is getting a bit scary and intimidating for me :(
 
I think your parent/ guardian needs to step in..... She has issues, threating a young person is not on. Speak to YO , keep all communication and get legal guidance if needed.
 
Oh sweet please ignore her !! The lift doesn't go all the way to the top. You have tried to explain it and the best she can do it say "I'm older than you" Pah shame about your spelling and punctuation !!:rolleyes:

I'm intrigued as to why you would take osca off the yard if your no longer riding him ..... Bizarre women.
 
Reading those messages from her gave me a headache.. Good lord iv never seen such poor English.

Honestly OP don't even give this woman the time of day, I can't see why it's so 'awful' you don't wish to loan her horse after honestly deciding he wasn't for you..

It sounds to me she's the one with the problem and its her problem alone to deal with not yours.

Stop replying to her and get on with your life and let her get on with her clearly interesting life if the only thing she can keep on about is her horse not being ridden by you.

Sounds like her egos a bit dented at you not wanting to ride her horse but will ride someone else's, again her problem.
 
oh poor you. TBH, from the use of language in her messages it doesn't sound like she has two brain cells to rub together, so I would try to just stay out of her way - there's no reasoning with idiots.

If you are in the middle of your A levels you are probably thinking a lot about your future, so just focus on that and start making some exciting plans for yourself. This woman is not worth a second thought by the sounds of her. :)
 
She is in her early 50s and is trying to intimidate me. If im honest its working because im 17 and havent riden her horse for months and dont know why she would suddenly start attacking me when Ive clearly done nothing wrong.
Im just going to ignore her. If i get another text tonight Im getting parents involved, if not it can wait till the morning and will still get parents involved. Tbh this is scaeing the **** out of me because I was polite and she has no business with me ridng somebody elses horse :(
 
Ok just got another text after politely saying I wouldnt take her horse out again and thanked her for letting me ride him in the first place before asking her not to contact me again

"Youve already been delited. Young Lady"
 
She sounds a bit crazy tbh..

If she carries on I'd tell your parents and the YO!

Don't contact her again and keep any messages remotely threatening or aggressive etc.
 
OK, well let it lie for now. Go get yourself a hot drink and get some sleep. In the morning show the messages to you parents so they are aware of the situation. Please try not to fret :)
 
Maria13 said:
Ok just got another text after politely saying I wouldnt take her horse out again and thanked her for letting me ride him in the first place before asking her not to contact me again

"Youve already been delited. Young Lady"
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Jesus she has a screw loose.
Let her off with herself, she clearly doesn't live in this world, some weird plane all by herself!
I would be so tempted to tell her to go swivel you mad old bag but that would deffo not help!

I would step away, back to the wall, never initiate conversation/contact of any kind with her. You do not need that in your life!

Enjoy arab and look after yourself :)
 
Thank you so much guys, Im off to bed. Will let this die down and get it sorted. She wont stop me enjoying my weekend rides with my pony, she has no business with me and thank god I dont ride her horse anymore!
Thank you for your help :)
 
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