Am I being a complete mug???!!!

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BEUnderTheInfluence

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I'm based at a livery yard and recently sold a horse to raise funds for eventing. I spoke to the owners about a horse they'd offered me to ride for this season (Novice eventer, 16.2 bladibla) with the condition we footed the bills which meant i had something to ride during this season and could go shopping in sept.

One of their staff had him on a 'favour' basis before hand and paid nothing, then when i took over the ride the condition was that so not to be harsh to her, she could still ride him occasionally if she wanted.

BEARING IN MIND - she foots NONE of the running costs, WE do! WE insure him, shoe him, pay his entries, I get him fit, fine tune him, pay for saddles to be refited etc. As it turns out, she rides him before me most days a week, is planning on taking him out to some crappy unafilliated showjumping (bound to be on crap ground) FOUR DAYS before he's running at Shelford BE and is asking ME if I will work around HER plans to ride him during the week.

When I complained that this wasn't good, I was told that I had to be fair to HER!!!!!

Am I being a complete mug? £70 a week livery for a horse thats ridden 5 days a week by someone else. £600 insurance fees for SOMEONE else to jump on rock hard ground before an event i'm paying for and IM THE ONE BEING UNFAIR?????
 
Muggins! Tell them that if they want their horse competed at the higher standards/levels then they need to either have a word with her (ie get rid or tell her she needs to pay some money and make sure that she isn't interfering with plans made and talks to you!) or go and find someone else!

I'm sure they'd rather he's paid for and ridden by you at a higher level, than paid for by them and not, right?
 
This is a totally unacceptable situation, and one in which you need to put your foot down or walk away. Very unfair.
I'm pretty sure that if you did stand your ground the owners would rather you continue, as you pay his bills. Good luck x

ETA.."Occasionally" would suggest to me that she would hack him out/ride once a week, nothing more. Take his saddle home with you ;-D
 
Last edited:
BEUnderTheInfluence said:
I'm based at a livery yard and recently sold a horse to raise funds for eventing. I spoke to the owners about a horse they'd offered me to ride for this season (Novice eventer, 16.2 bladibla) with the condition we footed the bills which meant i had something to ride during this season and could go shopping in sept.

One of their staff had him on a 'favour' basis before hand and paid nothing, then when i took over the ride the condition was that so not to be harsh to her, she could still ride him occasionally if she wanted.

BEARING IN MIND - she foots NONE of the running costs, WE do! WE insure him, shoe him, pay his entries, I get him fit, fine tune him, pay for saddles to be refited etc. As it turns out, she rides him before me most days a week, is planning on taking him out to some crappy unafilliated showjumping (bound to be on crap ground) FOUR DAYS before he's running at Shelford BE and is asking ME if I will work around HER plans to ride him during the week.

When I complained that this wasn't good, I was told that I had to be fair to HER!!!!!

Am I being a complete mug? £70 a week livery for a horse thats ridden 5 days a week by someone else. £600 insurance fees for SOMEONE else to jump on rock hard ground before an event i'm paying for and IM THE ONE BEING UNFAIR?????
Click to expand...

If you keep on letting this happen then you are definatly a mug, i would find another horse, this will never work!!
 
Agreed with previous posts, you are being extremely fair, and she is/was lucky to have you. There must be someone else out there, that is looking for someone like you.

Talk to her though, she may change her tune, if she suddenly has to start paying the costs.
 
Find something else, or start shopping now this sounds like an arrangment that will never work to be honest.
 
The owners have to make a decision. Do they want their horse to be loaned by someone experienced like you who is happy to pay everything associated with the horse. Or do they want him to stay a local level and be ridden at no contribution by this other individual?

Usually I think there are ways to compromise but in this case it doesn't sound feasible really.
 
had a situation a bit like this when i was a lot younger although i was not paying as much and no where near going to be competing BE.
I had a loan pony at the same yard as her owner and her horses and started off great even when she went lame for 6 months the owner found me another temporary loan pony etc. Pony hadn't been ridden for a while before I had her but didnt take very long to get her going sweetly and she had a fantastic jump anyway after about a year of loaning she started inviting this other girl she was very young about 10 or so to ride said pony no money she was just a friend of the family wouldn't really have minded as it wasn't very often if she could ride but all she did was hooley round the school in canter out of control and 'try' and jump. slowly this undid all the good work i'd done and pony became very nappy etc. Came to a head when i went to a show and this kid insisted on coming to and riding before me she was allowed to jump a round and i couldn't watch turns out neither could anyone else and someone complained i couldn't ride my round after that and had to scratch because the pony was so worked up i couldn't get on.
Long story short i had to walk away ended in a huge argument with the owner and lots of bad feeling when parents got involved as i was only 13 at the time and didn't really feel i could do much before. So would suggest just walking away before things get worse unless you have a water tight written agreement
 
As others have said, talk to the owners. If they cannot see that it is beyond unfair on you, then they are pants people to have a horse on loan from. Find another, either to buy or to loan.

D1 loans a horse, but the owner has no input. She knows the horse is well looked after and that is it. If the owner wanted to let someone else ride the horse, then it would all change. I'm not paying to look after a horse and effectively treat is as mine and as I do my own, to have something as fundamental as the rider be dictated by others.
 
Actually write down your costs and time commitment and have another chat with the owner before walking away.

It may be that they are hoping this other girl will be a permanent solution - or have some other unknown agenda, so if you can find out what that is you may be able to work out a compromise.

If not, walk away - if you are as good as you sound you could probably get people to pay you to event their horse!
 
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