Am I being selfish? I feel horrendous

[paddy555]

I simply don't understand. You say your horse looks pretty happy yet you are thinking of PTS. If she was in pain I would have hoped she would have been PTS before now, if not why PTS? I have several old horses all with the various problems of ageing including 2 cushings. I wouldn't dream of PTS. They are all looked after according to their needs and when the time arrives and it is clear they are PTS immediately. I don't torment myself with planning ahead and saying should I or shouldn't I. I recognise when they start to have a problem, decide if it can be reconciled and if not call the vet to get it done. It is never at a time convenient to me but I just have to live with that and cope with the upset. Better me being upset than having them PTS too early. I don't see that being old from a horse's POV is a reason to PTS. I would be grateful for the life that the cushings meds are giving her.

I have had similar problems with rugging this summer on my PSSM horse (hind end muscle problems) he cannot be allowed to get cold or wet and I have had many nights of climbing out of bed to sort his rugging out when the met office once again fail in their forecasting. PITA however he is only 11 so I cannot have him PTS to save me getting out of bed!!

Switch eradicated lice on a couple of mine that came with it. Very easy to use and effective. Rugging in an Aussie allrounder has stopped scratching, or a Sweet Itch hoody if you want to be really sure.

I haven't read the other replies as I am sure they all say PTS however that seems to be many people's answer to everything on here. Sorry, I appreciate you won't like my reply.

 

[touchstone]

She may not be in physical pan, but to be itchy all the time to the point of pulling hair out is pretty horrible to live with. I'd rather let mine go than force them to live in constant torment.
Her condition won't improve but probably deteriorate.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I simply don't understand. You say your horse looks pretty happy yet you are thinking of PTS. If she was in pain I would have hoped she would have been PTS before now, if not why PTS? I have several old horses all with the various problems of ageing including 2 cushings. I wouldn't dream of PTS. They are all looked after according to their needs and when the time arrives and it is clear they are PTS immediately. I don't torment myself with planning ahead and saying should I or shouldn't I. I recognise when they start to have a problem, decide if it can be reconciled and if not call the vet to get it done. It is never at a time convenient to me but I just have to live with that and cope with the upset. Better me being upset than having them PTS too early. I don't see that being old from a horse's POV is a reason to PTS. I would be grateful for the life that the cushings meds are giving her.

I have had similar problems with rugging this summer on my PSSM horse (hind end muscle problems) he cannot be allowed to get cold or wet and I have had many nights of climbing out of bed to sort his rugging out when the met office once again fail in their forecasting. PITA however he is only 11 so I cannot have him PTS to save me getting out of bed!!

Switch eradicated lice on a couple of mine that came with it. Very easy to use and effective. Rugging in an Aussie allrounder has stopped scratching, or a Sweet Itch hoody if you want to be really sure.

I haven't read the other replies as I am sure they all say PTS however that seems to be many people's answer to everything on here. Sorry, I appreciate you won't like my reply.

There is a vast difference between keeping an 11yr old going for a few more years, if at all possible and keeping a 31yr old struggling on, in the manner that OP described. The horse doesn't know what is planned, doesn't have its own plans for the future and simply knows that it is uncomfortable and doesn't enjoy some of the sensible attempts (stabling) to keep it comfortable. Of course you are entitled to make your own decisions about your own horse without criticism, as is OP.

As for planned pts, we plan farrier, vet etc visits whenever possible around our other commitments, so it seems sensible to do the same when possible, when we have decided that pts is in the horse's best interests.
I unfortunately have only been able to plan pts in 2 cases but have felt that it was easier to deal with than the 8 others which were as a result of accident/injury and in many cases were done as an emergency. Of course everyone deals with these things differently.

 

[paddy555]

There is a vast difference between keeping an 11yr old going for a few more years, if at all possible and keeping a 31yr old struggling on, in the manner that OP described. The horse doesn't know what is planned, doesn't have its own plans for the future and simply knows that it is uncomfortable and doesn't enjoy some of the sensible attempts (stabling) to keep it comfortable. Of course you are entitled to make your own decisions about your own horse without criticism, as is OP.

As for planned pts, we plan farrier, vet etc visits whenever possible around our other commitments, so it seems sensible to do the same when possible, when we have decided that pts is in the horse's best interests.
I unfortunately have only been able to plan pts in 2 cases but have felt that it was easier to deal with than the 8 others which were as a result of accident/injury and in many cases were done as an emergency. Of course everyone deals with these things differently.

of course everyone d/w PTS differently although I don't really see anything similar between arranging the farrier to fit in with commitments and PTS. . All of mine, probably around 10 or more have been PTS as and when required. I cannot imagine counting the days until the vet comes to PTS. That must be agony but everyone is different.

Is this 31 yo struggling on? OP described her as happy and itchy. To me it would seem better to try and deal more forcefully with the itching and offer protection as a first course before considering PTS.

I am criticising OP simply offering a different view to many.

 

[Kezzabell2]

Thank you all for your kind words, even you Paddy555, I appreciate everything you say and the reason I've posted is because I'm not convinced by making this decision.

I've read through everything that's been said and cried at every single comment, which is why I'm only just replying now.

Last summer we lost a 31 yr old mare at the yard where I keep my 6yr old and she went down in the field and couldnt get back up again, like another poster her owner was on holiday, so was her vet, we found her at 7.30am and it took hours before we could get hold of the owner and get authorisation for another vet! fortunately for me, I had to be at work, so didnt see it all, but it was so horrific to see the poor old girl down and trying to get up! after that day, I vowed I'd never leave my girl, so that her last hours are stressful.

Where my mare is, it is just me and my friend there, so it is likely that if something like that happened, she could be down for hours before anyone finds her, so there is no way I can leave her until she looks sad

 

[Red-1]

I simply don't understand. You say your horse looks pretty happy yet you are thinking of PTS. If she was in pain I would have hoped she would have been PTS before now, if not why PTS? I have several old horses all with the various problems of ageing including 2 cushings. I wouldn't dream of PTS. They are all looked after according to their needs and when the time arrives and it is clear they are PTS immediately. I don't torment myself with planning ahead and saying should I or shouldn't I. I recognise when they start to have a problem, decide if it can be reconciled and if not call the vet to get it done. It is never at a time convenient to me but I just have to live with that and cope with the upset. Better me being upset than having them PTS too early. I don't see that being old from a horse's POV is a reason to PTS. I would be grateful for the life that the cushings meds are giving her.

I have had similar problems with rugging this summer on my PSSM horse (hind end muscle problems) he cannot be allowed to get cold or wet and I have had many nights of climbing out of bed to sort his rugging out when the met office once again fail in their forecasting. PITA however he is only 11 so I cannot have him PTS to save me getting out of bed!!

Switch eradicated lice on a couple of mine that came with it. Very easy to use and effective. Rugging in an Aussie allrounder has stopped scratching, or a Sweet Itch hoody if you want to be really sure.

I haven't read the other replies as I am sure they all say PTS however that seems to be many people's answer to everything on here. Sorry, I appreciate you won't like my reply.

Form my perspective on your comment, it is not always easy to know the right time, as many horses do not suddenly need to PTS, it is a slow decline, and that brings the difficulty of finding the right time. One day is not perceptibly worse than the next, but generally there is a decline whereby the horse is no longer enjoying life.

I am very much in the one week early is better than a day too late. I made that mistake with one of my dogs, never again.

When it is a slow decline I think it is sensible to set a date in the future. It means closure for the owner. OH's horse had a 6 week planned date. Yes, it was torture in a way, but it meant we had set the date and could double, triple, quadruple check that this was the correct decision. We said our goodbyes, on the day it was as serene as it could be.

Good luck OP, whatever you decide.

 

[paddy555]

Thank you all for your kind words, even you Paddy555, I appreciate everything you say and the reason I've posted is because I'm not convinced by making this decision.

I've read through everything that's been said and cried at every single comment, which is why I'm only just replying now.

Last summer we lost a 31 yr old mare at the yard where I keep my 6yr old and she went down in the field and couldnt get back up again, like another poster her owner was on holiday, so was her vet, we found her at 7.30am and it took hours before we could get hold of the owner and get authorisation for another vet! fortunately for me, I had to be at work, so didnt see it all, but it was so horrific to see the poor old girl down and trying to get up! after that day, I vowed I'd never leave my girl, so that her last hours are stressful.

Where my mare is, it is just me and my friend there, so it is likely that if something like that happened, she could be down for hours before anyone finds her, so there is no way I can leave her until she looks sad

I am sorry I said I was criticising you, I meant of course that I was not criticising you.

 

[splashgirl45]

I am sorry I said I was criticising you, I meant of course that I was not criticising you.

sorry i think you were!!! i felt your post was very insensitive.... its difficult enough for the OP to make a sensible decision . 31 is a very good age and horses can go downhill very quickly so what is wrong with making a plan?

 

[Supertrooper]

Personally I'd rather a day too early than a day too late. The conditions your mare has are very unlikely to improve and she is an old girl.

Let her go with dignity xxxxxxx

 

[SnowandSunshine]

. I cannot imagine counting the days until the vet comes to PTS. That must be agony but everyone is different.

Are you saying you think people pre-arrange it to make things easier for themselves rather than wait for an emergency or the absolute end when they are forced to PTS?
Those days are agony, they are heartbreaking. It was the worst thing I had ever been through. I was on my knees in the haybarn trying to make nets sobbing my heart out wishing there was another way. I am crying now thinking about it. But I knew I didn't want my mare to go through the heat and flies of summer which she detested while her arthritic hocks gradually gave her more pain on the hard ground.
My mare was very lame in trot on a high bute dose but she was still happy, still herself, still pulled me down to the field. It tore me to pieces but I still know I did the right thing.