Am I being selfish??

[SatansLittleHelper]

Someone has made me an offer on Bailey. A little more than I paid but probably not what he's worth. She's a friend of a friend who has seen his pics and videos. It's likely she would produce him over time and then sell. I know I'll have no control once he's sold, I was kind of hoping that someone would buy who will want to keep him.
However.....I don't feel he's ready to be moved again just yet and he's just starting to settle and make a few, albeit very small, breakthroughs in his understanding. I realise I will be selling him on anyway, and the right home will ALWAYS be more important than the money but I feel this may be the only chance I have to get enough money to buy the horse I really need.
I don't know what to do. He is just starting to trust me and I really think thete could be some light at the end of the tunnel, I can see the horse he really is creeping out slowly.
I've got professional help coming to get to the bottom of the biting, which is definitely the big problem and we are getting to grips with his personal space issues.
Am I being selfish for wanting to keep him a while longer??
ETA: My friend who has been helping me thinks I'd be crazy to sell him at the moment.
I'm riding another friends horses and am enjoying Bailey so I have no rush to sell.

 

[bonny]

From what you have written I think you should sell him, as long as you are getting your money back, put it all down to experience and buy a horse that you are happier with.....

 

[Cortez]

If I was you I'd sell him and put the money into something that's a better fit for you AND the horse. Why are you keeping him? To sell on, right? So why not just cut to the chase and spend your time and energy on the horse that you will be keeping long term?

 

[TheMule]

I would absolutely sell him- he's not the horse you want, if he has an accident in the field next week and costs a lot in vets fees he may well be unsuitable to sell and cost you the chance of having a horse you can ride

 

[AmyMay]

I’d sell, definitely. He could break a leg tomorrow and then you’d have nothing to sell.... (sorry, a bit ott. But you know what I mean).

 

[DabDab]

I personally wouldn't sell because I'd want the enjoyment of seeing him improve and develop a bit, so no I don't think you're being selfish.
But selling would be the wise thing to do.

 

[Red-1]

I would sell, he could become lame.

Then you can look forward to a new horse that will be a soulmate horse.

I mis-bought in 2015, she was only here 6 days. On the 5th day I admitted to myself I had made a mistake, she was gone the next to a yard who, could properly present her for sale.

If it is a suitable yard he should settle quickly.

 

[cornbrodolly]

I was once told that if someone makes you an offer - sell! Over the years we have ignored this advice, but as we all know ,horses have mishaps or worse. I dont regret not selling my show cob , who gave me 19 years of riding/comradeship/rosettes , even though I was offered big money for him. We do regret turning down money for a flashy youngster, who was very accident prone , and then later broke a leg......
Unless this is your Horse of a Lifetime [ and it doesnt sound like it from previous posts ] you d be best to sell.

 

[Meredith]

I kept a horse for about 3 years too long because I thought he would be right for me. He never was. There was nothing really wrong, we just didn’t gel. Now I am rapidly approaching the end of my riding life I regret the time wasted.
I think if you are happy with the future you can see for him and you won’t make a loss selling now would be a wise decision.
An old fashioned horseman said to me when I agonised about selling the one of the children’s ponies
“ You can only do the best you can while you own them and if you have to sell do so to the best home you can find”
Good luck with your future search.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

She wanted to know all about him so I told her everything that I know and she's now offering 500 less on the basis of his loading problems. This is now less than I paid. I've said I will consider her original offer but not less.
I think I need some help on working out what would be the right price for him?? If selling him now would be best then maybe I should advertise him? But I don't know how I would get him noticed by the right type of person?
I'm getting attached which was the reason for even considering him going now...I'm such a wimp with things like this, I invest too much emotion into it.
I want to do right by Bailey but also be able to afford a nice horse for myself that is the right sort for me to keep.

 

[bonny]

She wanted to know all about him so I told her everything that I know and she's now offering 500 less on the basis of his loading problems. This is now less than I paid. I've said I will consider her original offer but not less.
I think I need some help on working out what would be the right price for him?? If selling him now would be best then maybe I should advertise him? But I don't know how I would get him noticed by the right type of person?
I'm getting attached which was the reason for even considering him going now...I'm such a wimp with things like this, I invest too much emotion into it.
I want to do right by Bailey but also be able to afford a nice horse for myself that is the right sort for me to keep.

That changed quickly ! I wouldn’t sell to her now but I do think you should advertise him, it’s a good time of year to sell and hopefully you will find someone prepared to pay what you did x

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

That changed quickly ! I wouldn’t sell to her now but I do think you should advertise him, it’s a good time of year to sell and hopefully you will find someone prepared to pay what you did x

She's trying to make it sound like she's doing me a favour 🤬🤬🤬

 

[AmyMay]

Oh, that’s a ‘no’ then. It’s original price offered or jog on. End of conversation.

 

[Myloubylou]

Agree, sell for at least what you paid or hold on & work him a bit more. Don’t know what you paid and what he’d be after say the summer factoring in costs. Sounds like easier projects out there to make a bit of a profit on

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Game changer at new price. I'd say ta ra!

Unless you want to sell him of course?

 

[Meredith]

If he was worth £xxx a few weeks ago and has been handled and educated a bit the price will rise not drop.
Tell her you will accept the original offer not the amended one and as Bailey’s education progresses the price will rise.

 

[MDB]

I would still sell. 100%. You are going to spend more than 500 by keeping him, feeding him, training him etc for the next x number of months. He isn't the right horse for you and by the sounds of things you are not the right person by yourself to be able to sort him out.

 

[josie_s]

I was all set to say sell - until she offered you less, tell her to do one.
I was offered good money for a homebred 5 year old of mine, I turned it down, he needed a colic op at 6 and kissing spine op at 8, hindsight is a wonderful thing

 

[Goldenstar]

I would say I paid X that’s what I want back , why you would expect to turn a profit on the debacle I have no idea .
And if your friend is competent I would take her arm off and get out of it .

 

[KittenInTheTree]

Well, I'm ignoring the popular view on here yet again, because frankly I'd hang on to him for at least a year. He's a baby, give him time and he may well end up being something that you'll enjoy. Yes, it will be hard work, yes there will inevitably be tears and vet bills, but honestly, you've got the option of something else to ride anyhow so why not take the chance on him?

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I would say I paid X that’s what I want back , why you would expect to turn a profit on the debacle I have no idea .
And if your friend is competent I would take her arm off and get out of it .

GS, you are someone I respect alot on the forum and you clearly know what you are talking about. However I think you may have missed a few things.
1) This woman is a friend of a friend, so to speak. I don't know her. She is trying to get him very cheaply and I don't think it's unreasonable to refuse to sell him to her

2) At no point have I said I wanted to profit from this "debacle". What I have said is that I'd like to work with him, financial implications included, to a) Find him the best home possible and b) sell him at a price that will allow me to afford to buy something more suitable for myself.
This doesn't mean turning a profit, it simply means I have spent incremental amounts of money and would get it back as a lump sum. (I hope I've worded that right, it sounds right in my head).

 

[KittenInTheTree]

As to the biting, I have a suggestion. Make it a habit to take control of his head before he can engage his teeth. This doesn't need to mean using a headcollar, by the way - just put your hand on the groove beneath his chin where the curb chain would sit and give him a good scratch there with the tips of your fingers. If he's not too head shy, you can put your other hand on the side of his lower jaw near to where the throatlatch would be and massage that area too - mine loved that at his age; they were teething, and it seemed to help with the discomfort.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I just wanted to add, I know I've f**ked up. I really do. I bought him impulsively and unfairly (to him). But that doesn't mean I don't want to make things right.
I've made a promise that my next horse will be purchased with only careful planning and consideration. I have a good friend holding me to it too!!!
I realise I've made mistakes, several times. I know I'm not a saint but PLEASE cut me a little slack, I'm genuinely not trying to be a tit

 

[ester]

Are you convinced he's not for you? I ask because I do wonder whether the reactions on here to sell him were as quick as your decision to buy him and I ask on the basis that a just arrived youngster isn't really a true reflection of the horse you will have.

 

[FlyingCircus]

To be honest if I were you I'd hold onto him and then send him to a pro to back and sell on your behalf. He is a nice looking horse and I imagine you could atleast come out evens as long as you didn't pay stupidly over the odds for him in the first place! But, I wouldn't do him myself if I were you as he sounds the sort that really does need a pro to keep him on the straight and narrow.

 

[Goldenstar]

So do some research and find out about her .
Someone is probably going to turn this horse over and it’s not going to be you who adds value because as you say he’s not the horse for you .
If you can get your money back and the person does have good reputation get out now .
Every week you keep him costs you money with god knows what round the corner that may cost a fortune or render him valueless .
I know have changed my mind since my first posts but if you can get him away with minimal hassle at the purchase price to someone with a record for starting horses off and turning them over then my strong advice would do it .

 

[Tiddlypom]

Those of us who have followed SLH through several different horses know that Bailey is absolutely not a good fit for her long term. The current offer would have been very tempting until the buyer started to p1ss about with the offer.

SLH has very tight finances and needs to back out of this with no losses at worst, a small profit at best, and move on to look for a long term keeper.

 

[Cortez]

Your interested lady buyer will still be interested; tell her the first price quoted is the price. If she sees value she will pay it.

 

[MyBoyChe]

Or offer to meet her halfway? He could break a leg in the field tomorrow, then you lose all your money. Hes not what you wanted, you plan to sell him anyway, I would think a small loss now is worth it in the long run to enable you to find what you do want

 

[Pearlsasinger]

No you are not being selfish. TBH, I wouldn't want to sell to this woman, regardless of all the points that have been made by others.