Am I being silly

Empy&Treacle

Empy&Treacle

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It seems that since losing my two girls this summer (both PTS, one on 27th July and the other 31st August - teminal injries) I haven't really accepted that they're gone or grieved for them properly until now, a time when we have a new horse coming on Saturday to live in their stables, graze their fields, wear all their tack and rugs! I feel so guilty and so sad and consequently don't know how to feel about my new boy :(
He is a lovely 4yo who will keep me very busy and focussed; I just know deep down that nothing can ever replace Empy and Treacle... I just don't know how to feel - there's no way I'll compare him to them when riding as you can't let yourself do that, but the feeling will still be there deep down :(

Has anyone else felt the feeling of guilt when replacing a horse (in my case 2)?? I just feel so nervous and have so many mixed emotions about it all! :(
 
your not replacing them.... just moving on..

people move on in different ways and time periods. i know its not practical financially but new rugs may be a good thing??


i got rid of fthe rugs my old lad had... and got new ones, new rugs,new horse new start

do not feel guilty.
 
Poor you, what a rotten summer you've had. Of course you feel bad moving on. This new horse is never going to replace your other two, but he will hopefully be something that initially will fill your time caring for him, and eventually you will love as much. You'll still always look back with love on your other two, and will grieve eventually, but it will be good for you to have a new project to get hold of. Best wishes and good luck to you, and hugs!xx
 
Your not being silly at all, I felt like that when my dog Jake was put to sleep in May. The house just wasn't the same without him. We went out and brought another the next day. We were not replacing Jake, we never could he was one in a million. He had a good home spoilt rotten, we did the best we could for him. We now have Alfie a lab puppy, he is very similar to Jake in his ways. Your new horse is very lucky to have you as a new owner, life must go on enjoy your new horse and keep the 2 you lost always in your heart x
 
Ohhh hun, you have had a really hard time ((hugs)) x I had 2 PTS within a very short space of time a few years back and it was heartbreaking (never had to in 20+ years of ownership then suddenly 2). The insurance money came and I felt to 'raw' and guilty to buy another so bought a better trailer with the money for my school/dealing horses.

When it comes to buying again there are no hard and fast rules, it is a very personal thing. I sold my last horse (in sig) after 5 years of a very special bond but challenging (he was already on the yard as a seller at the time my two personal horses were PTS), I went straight out to look for a new horse and in one way I still grieve for him although he is perfectly healthy just 10 hours away now. Enjoy your new lad, time heals and he will seem perfectly 'usual/part of your life' in no time at all. My new boy Mr Darcy an ID 4years is already so settled after only a few weeks and I am becoming quite attached :)

Hope you get used to each other quickly and he is everything you wish for in a horse. In my opinion I think you deserve to move on now and have some happy times. Please give us an update all about him ;)
 
Thank you all for your kind messages. I am feeling a little bit better about it all now, so lets hope come tomorrow morning i'll be excited about the fact I have a new horse coming. My girls have left a legacy behind and I have one each of their shoes on the stable door, feedroom, kitchen and in my bedroom :o It's so hard without them, but in a funny way their shoes comfort me.

I feel I must say that we never intended to have a horse so soon, we were going to wait until the spring so allowing us to save up enough to buy again - we didn't get any insurance money - but one day soon after both had gone, my trainer phoned my mum and asked if I would like a project for the winter as he knew the perfect horse... So that is where Bertie comes in. His proper name is Bertie Perfect so I am secretly hoping he lives up to his name and really is perfect and that we were in the wrong situation, but at the right time to be able to offer him a home. I have him on loan for 6 months with a VERY good loan agreement written up. His owner has also said at the end of the 6 months I can buy him for a VERY good price, or extend the loan for another 6 months, or send him back.

Jack9, you make a very good point about the rugs - I will do that. We have so many rugs, mostly Horseware, so hopefully ebay will provide enough money for me to buy a nice new set of rugs.

I really hope Bertie can help put my family back together again, make it complete and try to fill the hole left by Empy and Treacle, but only time will tell on that.

I will of course post some piccy's as soon as he is settled in :)

xx
 
i suggested about the rugs as thats what i did - i bought a mare too of a totally differnt breed/character etc.. so she had to have different rugs.

people all move on in different ways, took me two years... never get over loosing them but it does get easier.

just enjoy your new horse and dont feel guilty :)
 
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