Am I being Silly?

[Cheshire Chestnut]

Do you ever get over losing your horse?

I had my mare for 8 years, since she was a youngster and then it broke my heart to have to sell her while I was at uni. I still had her for my first year but then when I went into my second year, I just didn't have enough time for her and it was unfair. It took me 5 months to sell her because I had to find her the 'perfect' home. I was very lucky to find the most amazing new owners for her, they had a lovely cottage with their own land, stables and school. She was a very pampered girl and looked after better than I could ever have wished for. The new owners kept in contact via annual Christmas cards with photos and updates and then when I felt I was ready, I went to visit her 4 years later and she looked AMAZING. I had the best day and left feeling on top of the world

8 months later I got a letter, thinking it was my annual Christmas card - I opened it. Inside was a letter explaining my gorgeous girl had to be put to sleep due to cushings. They had done everything they could for her and she had just not responded to treatment and therefore went down hill very quickly. She was put to rest and she was peaceful again. I was heartbroken and in tears for weeks - I couldn't believe she was gone and I felt so much pain for her new owners, they were robbed of so many lovely years together.

I still think about her all the time and I dream about her 3/4 times a month. I made the decision in the summer to get a new horse. I got him on loan first and now I've bought him. He's a Welsh D pony, the complete opposite of her and I did that so I couldn't compare them - it wouldn't be fair. She was my one in a million horse and I knew I'd never replace her so I didn't want to get anything like her for that reason. I love my new boy to bits but recently I've been thinking about her a lot and I feel sad I don't have her with me. I keep going on rides with my boy and outings to the beach and can't help thinking she'd have loved it Although she had a great home I regret selling her and I just wished things were different.

I know it all sounds strange and sorry for the long story but what I'm trying to ask is, do you ever get over a loss like that? Does anyone feel the same?

 

[Dreamer515]

i lost my old boy in November. i had him for 9 years but unfortuanty he had a previous injury that was starting to effect him 8 years on. i retired him last year, he was field sound and happy. he didnt owe me anything so i thought the least i could do was make sure he has a happy retierment. unfortuantly he went down hill fast in November and i had to make the hardest decision ive ever had to make. i know it has only been a few months but i still cant stop thinking about him, comparing him to my other horse and thinking "he would have loved this." i dont think it is something you ever properly get over. you learn to deal with it as time goes on. everytime i think about him and im missing him terribly i try to think of all the fun we had together. going cross country, chilling out in the field, seeing him for the fist time, taking him up the gallops, and special moments just spending time with him to groom and fuss.

im sorry for your loss and i hope you have as many good memories of your girl as i do my boy. im hoping it gets easier to cope as time goes by. x

 

[NellRosk]

No of course you're not being silly, she was your one in a million and you're perfectly justified in feeling like this. Just take comfort from the fact that she had an amazing home with you and caring compassionate owners when you sold her that made the brave decision to PTS so she wouldn't suffer. Time is a great healer and don't feel guilty for missing your mare or thinking about her. Just try and have fun with your new boy and don't feel like he's replacing her, just that he's the next step on xx

 

[Equinus]

You will learn to live with it. Losing my lovely mare after 25 years broke my heart too, and eight years on it can still bring me to tears if I have to talk about her. But you have to live with it even though it hurts to, and enjoy the memories, photos, videos for what they were, a wonderful, sometimes anxious, worrying, exciting, frustrating never to be forgotten time and move on. My girl could never be replaced and I don't want to forget her, she is part of who I am.

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

i lost my old boy in November. i had him for 9 years but unfortuanty he had a previous injury that was starting to effect him 8 years on. i retired him last year, he was field sound and happy. he didnt owe me anything so i thought the least i could do was make sure he has a happy retierment. unfortuantly he went down hill fast in November and i had to make the hardest decision ive ever had to make. i know it has only been a few months but i still cant stop thinking about him, comparing him to my other horse and thinking "he would have loved this." i dont think it is something you ever properly get over. you learn to deal with it as time goes on. everytime i think about him and im missing him terribly i try to think of all the fun we had together. going cross country, chilling out in the field, seeing him for the fist time, taking him up the gallops, and special moments just spending time with him to groom and fuss.

im sorry for your loss and i hope you have as many good memories of your girl as i do my boy. im hoping it gets easier to cope as time goes by. x

Sorry for your loss too, you must be finding it really hard. I think it's just hard for me because I regret selling her and wished I kept her and had more time with her. I also regret never breeding from her or taking her hunting (she would have been ace!).

You will think about him all the time but that's allowed - he was a huge part of your life and will continue to be. Do you have another horse? x

 

[Dreamer515]

thanks. yeah i have a 13yr old that ive had for nearly 2 years now. he's the complete opposite but ive gone off jumping him as that was what my old boy was best at and i find it hard not to compare.

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

You will learn to live with it. Losing my lovely mare after 25 years broke my heart too, and eight years on it can still bring me to tears if I have to talk about her. But you have to live with it even though it hurts to, and enjoy the memories, photos, videos for what they were, a wonderful, sometimes anxious, worrying, exciting, frustrating never to be forgotten time and move on. My girl could never be replaced and I don't want to forget her, she is part of who I am.

You've just made me cry!! But in a good way, that's exactly how I feel. It's hard when you see something silly that reminds you of them - it's pickled onion Monster Munch for me, she loved them! I know you're right and you have to live with it, my regrets about selling her and not taking her hunting won't bring her back, they'll just eat away at me. She was a very special lady, she taught me so much and gave me confidence to do things I haven't done before and I know her new owners will be missing her just as much.

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

No of course you're not being silly, she was your one in a million and you're perfectly justified in feeling like this. Just take comfort from the fact that she had an amazing home with you and caring compassionate owners when you sold her that made the brave decision to PTS so she wouldn't suffer. Time is a great healer and don't feel guilty for missing your mare or thinking about her. Just try and have fun with your new boy and don't feel like he's replacing her, just that he's the next step on xx

Thank you for this, it helps. He is just the next step on and I think I need to start thinking like that. He was never bought as a replacement and although sometimes I do find myself wishing she was there, it's never instead of him - it's just me wishing she was there as well as him. Looking forward to this summer though and the fun I will (hopefully!) bring with him xx

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

thanks. yeah i have a 13yr old that ive had for nearly 2 years now. he's the complete opposite but ive gone off jumping him as that was what my old boy was best at and i find it hard not to compare.

That's exactly how I feel! Jumping her was great and I loved it, she would jump anything I pointed her at and trusted her so much to look after me. she got us out of some scrapes in jump offs and made sure she always did her best - she was very honest. He's very green and proving challenging to jump so I'm not really enjoying it and got myself into the mind set that I won't enjoy it again so I will use him to go on fun rides, long hacks and beach rides instead (he's good on them). Jumping to me seemed like something I did with her and we did it well, don't know if me and the boy would be as good and that's when the comparisons would start x