Am i being too sensative?

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slimjim86

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Hi, could do with some perspective on this.
Like most people I obviously would prefer not to work but without that elusive lottery win work is definately here to stay.
The problem is I seem to get increasingly unhappy in my jobs and look for a new one which starts well enough then I start to not enjoy it because either I am being criticised for not doing something (I am a retail department manager so my boss has a right to expect a certain level of work off me) or I am not getting the recognition I want for a job well done.
My OH thinks its just me and I am unreasonable and therefore never gonna be happy in a job and I am starting to think he is right as I cant remember the last time I enjoyed work.
Heres an example of the current job, my department was 80K behind target in the 6 months before I weas recruited, in the last 3 months we have made up 30K of that (ie overachieved target by 10K each month) pretty good I think?? I have had some really frank conversations with my boss where I tell her that I feel nothing I do is good enough for her and she has told me that she thinks I am the right person for the job and is pleased with the results then she goes back to picking at every little thing I dont get done. (on a good day she is lovely but they are few and far between so mostly its just what I havent done or what I have done wrong that she goes on about) I am on a weeks holiday this week and she called me at 9am to ask about an email that she had recieved for me, there was another manager there that new about it, plus a senior member of my team and the email I had sent explained everything she needed to know anyway yet she still called me whilst I was on Holiday!!
Sorry for long rant but I really dont know if I get too emotional and worked up over these things and need to accept that work sucks and find a way to cope with it or look for a new job (thats generally what I do so am thinking maybe the problem is me?):confused::confused:
 
Hey

That sounds rough, and it doesn't sound like the most supportive work enviorment, I just wondered if it was possible that you were suffering from depression?

How are things in other areas of your life - are the emotions from your personal life making you feel inadquate in your work life?
 
Quite simply, yes.

If this were the only job you'd had it in I might think it was the employer, but you say yourself it is every job, so the common denominator is you. You would be very unlucky to have had a bad employer every time.

An unnamed relative is the same it drives us insane as she is constantly changing jobs, homes, partners and just does not stick at anything, and then we are left to pick up the pieces everytime (which normally involves a loan which never gets repaid which is another story).

At some time you have to take responsibility and accept it is you.

It could be as simple as your line of work (retail) does not suit you. I have previously worked in sales and although I was very good at it I did not enjoy it as it's not me, so I changed career and have never been happier.

You need to sit down and work out what you want out of your working life as it is something you will have to do for a very long time yet, and cannot keep just changing employer as that "something" will always be missing.

Eventually as well no employer will touch you as you will be seen as too flighty and not a stayer.

Write a list of what you enjoy and hate about your job, what your ideal job would involve (realistically of course) and go from there.

Good luck
 
Retail is a very tough industry and totally results driven. Having worked in retail banking for years I would say you need a very thick skin and are only as good as last weeks results. In this driven industry the niceties and pleasantries are often missing and if you are the sort that likes praise, recognition etc it may not be for you long term. The other thing is that crucial is that you don't take things personally as to employers you are very disposable ie you deliver or your out.

Given you have improved the targets from where they were I think you should know you're going in the right direction and have some confidence in your ability. The other thing to remember is to take the team with you as you won't achieve alone.

Good results are the expected norm in the industry and not the exception. So have a very strong business plan outlining how you are going to achieve your goals and show your boss. It sounds like she is more pleased with your efforts than you so make sure you are not setting yourself unachievable goals thus leading to a confidence crisis.
 
Hi, I have had depression in the past and think that there is probably a part that stays with you always - guess thats the part that might make me over sensative and want to pack things in when they dont go perfectly.
Life in general is pretty good at the moment, OH has had a personality transplant since we bought our own house and is really loving and nice, horse has settled so well in her new yard that having been terrified to get on her for nearly a year I have ridden 4 times in the last week (with varying success but at least I am getting back on so feeling really positive today). The good thing about this mornings phone call that came just as I was tacking my mare up was that it made me feel like "well hey if the horse throws me off (always a possabiltity at the moment) and I hurt myself at least I might get out of going back to work next week!!
I have had 2 job interviews in the last week and both seemed quite positive, what i am concerned about doing is taking another job to escape this place and not dealing with my own issues and therefore feeling the same again in 6 months in a different job?
 
Would love to work for myself, or even just try not being in retail but at the moment I cant afford either as the only thing on my CV is retail management I cant get paid the same in any other line of work. I am enrolling on an NLP training course next month as now I have almost completely got my nerve back (totally confident on all horses but the one that lost my confidence) I was hoping to maybe do some work in helping others get back in the saddle but thats a bit far off still. To put it into perspective in the last job I wasnt happy coz I was bored and not working as a general manager so didnt feel I got to run things my way (was there nearly 2 years through the boredom though), job before that felt the same as this one - not valued (lasted 6 months, same as now), job before that was in the retail sector I had been in for 5 years (different stores but same role) and I felt stuck and bored. Just dont want to jump for the sake of jumping but dont want to stay where I am not happy just coz I might not be happy elsewhere either.
 
Re-arrange your thinking.

You want/need recognition.

You are unlikely to get the level you want/need in your job.

Accept that is the way it is, but, do something else that does give you recognition, be it a hobby or sport. Even better, just do your job to the best of your abilities (it pays the bills), and put your energy into your training and your future.

I change contracts frequently because I like change, I like new challenges, learning new ways, developing new people, etc., but my field is good for this way of working. There are niggles in it - I'd like to develop a team further than a few months, I'd like to see the end results that I worked hard to set up, but there are pluses and minuses in all things, you just have to decide what is right for you :)
 
I can totally understand where your coming from I'm almost a mirror image of you in a different sector. People are not thoughful, caring or considerate in a tough working environment they just use to to tramp on and get where they want to go and if they have to make you squirm in the process they don't care. I HATE work with a passion, all my drive and enthusiasm has gone, I just want to do my hours and go home and if I didn't need the income for keeping my horses I wouldn't do it, I'd clean for a living or something. But I have an unfortunate addiction called horses and needs must, there are very few good places to work and if your lucky enough to enjoy it, stick with it cause there are more bad places than good!!
 
Thanks for that Chemar, I do wonder whether I have let my boss grind me down to the point of no return and maybe a new job but with the realisation that I have to be tougher in it from the beginning might be the way to go, after all people will only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated so I guess I could set my stall out so to speak in a new job with new people who dont know me much easier than I could change things where I am now. Sensible or looking for the easy option?
God this self realisation stuff is difficult!!!:confused:
 
Can i ask why you answered the phone? if it was your mobile then caller id would have told you who it was then you could have answered later if needs be.
you sound like you have done a good job, you might try to be a bit more assertive, with this i don't mean rude etc, say your boss needs to talk to there and then and you are busy doing X, then have you tried saying things like........"If you give me 2 min i will have finsihed this and we can focus on the problem together". you haven't said no i will not help but you are giving yourself a bit of personal space and power

you boss might also be under pressure esp in todays climate, and might not have the correct management skills herself, hence the way you feel when she criticise you, her terminology might be a bit off

and on another note.................don't sell yourself short i bet if you write down what skills you have, you will see it has a wider field than just retail :)
 
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