Am I being totally mad to consider this?? (long sorry)

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AshTay

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I have two horses - an old retired pony and a new younger horse. I also work full time.

Since last autumn, before I bought my new horse, I've been sort-of loaning and helping bring back into work a fab little mare. I didn't buy her myself as I considered her too small (I'm 5foot8 and she's 14hh but an arab so I don't look too bad on her) and I wanted a horse I could develop into an all rounder.

Now I have my new horse I've still been working the mare when I have time around my new boy and I really am smitten with her. She's fab. But she's for sale.

The dilemma is - I have the chance to buy her in installments and keep her at very little cost where she is. The cost isn't too much of an issue (we can manage). But it's the time. My other two boys need much more time than this little mare who lives out all year round in a herd and is looked after as part of the herd so realistically that means that in the week in winter I don't need to see her everyday as she's already checked and hayed, etc.

But is it fair to buy a horse that I will only ever ride at weekends and even then maybe only once at weekends?? Other people (with my approval, people I know) may ride her from time to time but mostly it will just be me.

I feel that she should be someone's number 1 but at the same time, she could be sold and end up cooped up in a stable all winter or over-ridden or used as a broodmare. I know people who only ride their horse once a week and their horses are happy and this mare isn't the sort who needs lots of riding (she'd been out of work for some time before I started riding her at weekends). She enjoys attention but can take it or leave it.

Should I throw caution to the wind, be thankful that I have this opportunity and go for it, knowing that I could sell her on in the future if I needed to? I've pretty much already been her "loaner" for the last 6 months and have managed two riding horses (and a field ornament) for the past month so i have had a trial period of sorts.

Opinions please!! And thank you to all who made it this far - will fix you a brew!
 
AshTay said:
I have two horses - an old retired pony and a new younger horse. I also work full time.

Since last autumn, before I bought my new horse, I've been sort-of loaning and helping bring back into work a fab little mare. I didn't buy her myself as I considered her too small (I'm 5foot8 and she's 14hh but an arab so I don't look too bad on her) and I wanted a horse I could develop into an all rounder.

Now I have my new horse I've still been working the mare when I have time around my new boy and I really am smitten with her. She's fab. But she's for sale.

The dilemma is - I have the chance to buy her in installments and keep her at very little cost where she is. The cost isn't too much of an issue (we can manage). But it's the time. My other two boys need much more time than this little mare who lives out all year round in a herd and is looked after as part of the herd so realistically that means that in the week in winter I don't need to see her everyday as she's already checked and hayed, etc.

But is it fair to buy a horse that I will only ever ride at weekends and even then maybe only once at weekends?? Other people (with my approval, people I know) may ride her from time to time but mostly it will just be me.

I feel that she should be someone's number 1 but at the same time, she could be sold and end up cooped up in a stable all winter or over-ridden or used as a broodmare. I know people who only ride their horse once a week and their horses are happy and this mare isn't the sort who needs lots of riding (she'd been out of work for some time before I started riding her at weekends). She enjoys attention but can take it or leave it.

Should I throw caution to the wind, be thankful that I have this opportunity and go for it, knowing that I could sell her on in the future if I needed to? I've pretty much already been her "loaner" for the last 6 months and have managed two riding horses (and a field ornament) for the past month so i have had a trial period of sorts.

Opinions please!! And thank you to all who made it this far - will fix you a brew!
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why are you asking?!! you are smitten, you have worked out the finances, you have worked out how to do it and you have worked out a possible "escape" plan if needed..!
 
Luci07 said:
why are you asking?!! you are smitten, you have worked out the finances, you have worked out how to do it and you have worked out a possible "escape" plan if needed..!
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Having gone to all the trouble of working out the above I think you know the answer lol, you can always look for someone to share riding her with you at a later date if needs be.

I of course am not a suitable person to ask as I have fallen head over heels with a ratty looking 150cms Hafflinger that someone has dumped on my YO's, he is a bargy little sod but all I can think of how much fun I could have this summer, sort him out a bit then get a loaner in in the winter.....they only want 300 euro for him...arrrgh!
 
Luci07 said:
why are you asking?!! you are smitten, you have worked out the finances, you have worked out how to do it and you have worked out a possible "escape" plan if needed..!
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LOL! True. I think it's just that I didn't get my first horse until I was 25 and feel slightly selfish accumulating 3 when "owning a horse" was this far off thing I aspired to for so long and something that so many people aren't lucky enough to be able to do. Like I'm somehow depriving someone else of her.
 
Chavhorse said:
I of course am not a suitable person to ask as I have fallen head over heels with a ratty looking 150cms Hafflinger that someone has dumped on my YO's, he is a bargy little sod but all I can think of how much fun I could have this summer, sort him out a bit then get a loaner in in the winter.....they only want 300 euro for him...arrrgh!
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Join me in throwing caution to the wind and buying neddies we don't need purely because we want them and are lucky enough to be able to follow our hearts (and not our heads).
 
On balance, no, I don't think you should. You can not give her what someone else could. She'll be fine as part of a herd, ridden once or maybe twice a week, but having someone to give her daily care, to notice when all those little things need doing and to exercise on a regular basis makes quite a difference. Someone else could be giving her varied work, taking her out to events and giving her daily attention.
My horses live out in a lovely herd. Some get ridden and seen by their owners everyday, some see their owners once a week. All are fine and happy, but the difference between those who get the most imput is noticeable. They are fitter, shinier and healthier.
I totally see why you want to buy her. You want her to stay where she is happy and to protect her future. If her owner finds a caring home, she will have a good future as she's such a nice mare. She has a good chance of getting that.
You also have to weigh up what is best for the two horses you already have,your time and resources would be compromised, as would the rest of your life, - your work,your energy levels, your partner.
If however, you could arrange reliable help, either with your two geldings or for the mare, then it could work out. You need to be quite logical about what you can offer.
 
I would go for it .. She's captured your heart ( as arabs do ) , from experience they are good hardy doers and shouldn't cost too much to run and if the worst happened and money got tight at least you are in a position to find a good home that you approve of or even sell your new boy instead...
 
Realistically what are you intending to do with the arab and your own horse?

If they have a job, then fair enough, but otherwise, its not fun to stretch your time and money in the darkness of winter!
 
I would think in terms of could you afford it if one or even two got sick or injured...are they all insured? And the travel back and forth between two yards...could you not have them all together? Its a lovely idea but you are not the only person who can secure her future...there are loads of other wonderful horse owners out there. I would love to just say go for it but I always try to be practical and make sure I can cope with the worst case scenario first.
 
Be careful!!! I got screwed over in a similar situation last year! Not going into details but be careful and think about getting a contract drawn up ;)
Good luck!
 
Thanks everyone!

Amymay - yes or it wouldn't be an option.

horserider - you have voiced my niggling doubts perfectly. She has come out of herself in the time I have been riding her. She's always healthy and looked after but she's gone from being the little fuzzy thing at the back of the herd to a bold little madam who marches over to me and whinnies and others have commented that she's grown into herself loads even with me only seeing her at weekends (I do "see" her in the week but I don't bring her in).

paddyirish - sell the new boy??!! never!! I wouldn't want to sell her either but it would have to be last one in, first one out and she'd be the most sellable as she's so straightforward.

jen_cots - she'd mostly be a fun hack (which she loves to do - I've never known a horse visibly slow down on the way home and not pull towards the farm gate!!). I do school her from time to time and would like to take this further. The main drawback is that we have no lights in winter and I work full time so both horses will only get ridden at weekends through the winter unless someone else came along to ride her too. But a lot of people have to deal with that. The new boy I hope to bring on in his schooling and generally just have fun with him. I could show the mare as she's stunning and well bred but I would need help with her fitness obviously. TBH I'm not fussed about any sort of competing - I get more of a kick from cracking a schooling issue or jumping a good grid at home in the school than I do from competitive riding.

EllieBelly1 - they are on the same yard. In different herds/fields. They would all be insured (they all are already but I'd have to take out my own policy for the mare).
 
It sounds like you have already made up your mind. Personally, I would rather attend to my own horses everyday than rely on others to do it for me. If I were you, I would allow her to find a 'one horse' home.
 
LaurenM said:
It sounds like you have already made up your mind. Personally, I would rather attend to my own horses everyday than rely on others to do it for me. If I were you, I would allow her to find a 'one horse' home.
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I haven't.
I do attend to my horses everyday. She would be slightly different as she would be checked over daily in the week along with the other herd members wheras my other two will be looked after by me everyday. To me, that's no different from having a horse on full livery attended to by someone else - for her, nothing would change from how things are now and have been for her for the last two years or so. But if for any reason she did require more than she does now then she'd get it. From me.

But you're right about the "one horse" home - that is the one thing that's holding me back, as I said in my OP.
 
It may be no different to full livery but I know that I would be the only one to know if my gelding wasn't feeling like himself - that's what I meant by preferring to check my own. That and I'm a worrier by nature!
 
Just to update (if anyone is at all interested)..

I've decided not to buy her mainly because I know she deserves more one-to-one time than I can give her and it wouldn't be fair on my boys (not to mention my hubby and dogs) to spread myself even more thinly than I am now.

I'll still be riding her up until she is sold and I so hope she finds a lovely home. She's a very sweet mare and whoever buys her will be so lucky.

Thanks for all the feedback on this - muchly appreciated!
 
I think you're wise, quality before quantity. I am going to have to make a similar decision later this year with one I have on loan. Like you,I love her to bits, but the best I can do for her is to help her be good riding horse and enable her to have the best chance of a good life.
I hope the little mare finds a wonderful home.
 
UPDATE
Found this old thread I started a while back and noticed that I said that I had decided not to buy the mare! Well I did buy her!!! A friend of mine agreed to share her so I went for it. Although the share didn't work out..
As it worked out, I always saw her to myself everyday: once she was my responsibility I couldn't not see her everyday so while my other 2 were eating their tea, I'd go down and feed her outside her field and check her over.
She was the best irresponsible decision I ever made. When my younger gelding started being a bit more of a challenge than anticipated I started having lessons on this little mare and it turned out she was something of a dressage diva (at local RC intro level anyway, lol)!!!
Yes, it was hardwork looking after 3 as well as having a fulltime job, dog and OH but I loved it. Sadly I lost my old boy earlier this year so now I just have 2 again but it took a while to adjust to not looking after 3.
Anyway, just wanted to update.
 
I'm glad to see this update. Now you won't be wondering what happened to her years down the line.

I don't really go with the 'he/she deserves more' line.. as long as a horse has its social needs met and is healthy and well cared for, it doesn't sit in the field thinking wistfully of all the riding it's missing out on!
 
Glad you bought her, was reading this not realising it was old and was disappointed when I read you didn't go for it as thought she would be more than happy with the arrangement. Can't beat the bond with a good arab mare and they are usually pretty good at dressage, well everything actually :-)
 
LittleBlackMule said:
I'm glad to see this update. Now you won't be wondering what happened to her years down the line.

I don't really go with the 'he/she deserves more' line.. as long as a horse has its social needs met and is healthy and well cared for, it doesn't sit in the field thinking wistfully of all the riding it's missing out on!
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:) I agree. It meant I had less time to groom her but she actually hates being groomed (likes bing tickled in certain spots but hates being groomed) so she's not bothered.

JoannaC said:
Glad you bought her, was reading this not realising it was old and was disappointed when I read you didn't go for it as thought she would be more than happy with the arrangement. Can't beat the bond with a good arab mare and they are usually pretty good at dressage, well everything actually :-)
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She's amazing! I swear she understands what I say sometimes.
 
JoannaC said:
Glad you bought her, was reading this not realising it was old and was disappointed when I read you didn't go for it as thought she would be more than happy with the arrangement. Can't beat the bond with a good arab mare and they are usually pretty good at dressage, well everything actually :-)
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I was really disappointed too!

Please can we have some pics?
 
Thank you :)

Not long after I bought her...

bea_jul11_2.jpg


This year....

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:)
 
FfionWinnie said:
Oh she is gorgeous!!
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Thank you!

blucanoo1990 said:
I'm glad it worked out for you.

Sorry you lost your old boy.

At least now you arnt so stretched
having just the two.
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I'm not sure you meant that how it came across :(
But I didn't feel stretched - now I feel like I've forgotten to do something when I leave the yard :( I'd rather have the 3 again. My perfect 3.
 
You already know the answer - if you can offer her the happy loving home she deserves go for it. If you think she'll be miserable as sin only being worked once a week and you can't arrange someone else to ride her then fair do's be more cautious but to be honest if you think she'll be happy then I wouldn't hesitate. I had a similar dilemma at the beginning of the summer - due to pregnancy my guys were looking at a minimum of a year without being ridden at all. Many sleepless nights followed while I tried to figure out what to do for the best for all of us and during that time came to a realisation - not one of them gave a stuff about not being ridden! They were out in the field together all summer, with a very supportive partner they now have a good winter routine established so they're in during the night out during the day and frankly not one of them looks or acts any worse for a serious reduction in work. For some horses it works, for some they hate it. If you think she'll be happy, go for it and don't look back, wish you all the luck in the world and enjoy her!!
 
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