Am I being un reasonable?

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Steeleydan

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Last year I lent a friend a Mexican grakle and an American gag to try in her horse, 12 months later, still got it never offered it back, then recently I noticed loads of stuff disapearing out of our tack room, 2 summer sheets, 3 bridles(nothing special just work tack) 2 breast girths and a saddle, I questioned my sister where it had gone, replied lent it all to said friend, my sister said friend needed summer sheets for a clients 2 yo that had come to be broken in,(client owns lots of race horses very wealthy) so said to my sister we are not here to prop up her bussiness and wealthy clients she can go out and buy the stuff we had too. I also said if her horse goes well in grakle and american gag, then she should give it us back and buy them, like we did. ( I actually saw how much a Sabre mexican grakle is to replace and was shocked how much they are)
So 2 weeks ago I told my sister to get all this stuff back, Ive also texted and tried to ring to ask.
Today I told my sister this morning when she went hunting to get the lot back its gone on long enough now.
Tonight I asked sister well have you got stuff back, she replied by saying X doesnt want to give it back because she is using it but here is £20 for it all!!!!
I went mental at her, X wont answer phone to me, but got a text saying I will give it you back when iam ready, Iam not dancing to your tune, and told me to stop being petty and get a life!!!
All I want is my stuff back, now what am I supposed to do, am I in the wrong.
Without sounding like the marta(sp) I have worked bloody hard for every item off stuff in our tack room, some of it is years old and had to be bought out of paper round money over 20 years ago, so things are precious to me.
 
Not unreasonable at all in my opinion, just something to learn from.
She obviously is not a good friend at all.
Not alot you can do though, you will be lucky if she gives it back.
Is there no way you can go and get it back yourself when she isn't there etc?
 
IMO her behaviour is disgusting. It's your property that you have lent on the basis of having it back.

If it wasn't her yard that everything is kept at, I would speak to the YO when she's not there and take it back.
 
Ive gathered that she is no friend by all this, but there is me against her and my sister, who thinks there is no harm in gining all this stuff away, if I went round there her and her Mum would just get nasty and tell me to F off.
 
Blimey!!!! What sort of friend is that!!????? Unbelievable!! Go and get your stuff back, tell your sister she is under no circumstances to let this person 'borrow' anything else!!! Flipping cheek!!!
 
Go round, demand it back.
OR - Send her a recorded delivery letter stating the items you require returned (in good condition and clean no less) and informing her that should she continue to keep them past 7 days, that you will be going to the police-I am sure there is something about witholding goods from the rigthful owner etc.
 
Tonight after my sister had done her horse off, me and her were having an almighty row in our kitchen, when she produced the £20 X had sent me and said your not having stuff back.This is instead
My Dad heard all this, so I told him how she had been taking all our stuff up there and now I cant get it back, Dad told her off and instructed her to jolly well get it all back,we are not a flaming charity, so she is allegedly going tommorow to get it all. I bet its magically disapeared.
 
Just take it back - you're both on the same yard and it's your stuff. Just say your sister had no right to lend it out. Sounds like the mexican grackle is a write-off though after a year :(
 
Perhaps you should take one of her horses, and give her twenty quid....or be flippant and send a text saying "I am not dancing to your tune, I'll give it back when I am ready....perhaps in a years time"
Cheeky moo.
 
We are not on the same yard, we have our own stables/land at home, my sister goes up to said friend yard just to visit they go hunting together and all this stuff keeps getting taken up there and is used on various clients horses.
 
If it was me. I would total up every item your sister has given the girl and had the bill to your sister and ask her to pay up as she is the one that has given them away without your permission or your parents.:D:D:D:D:D
 
As SusieT says. Write a letter, staying calm at all times and noting that you have asked for the return of your property many times and she has refused. Therefore she is guilty of theft. Carefully list all the items she has and it might be helpful to add a column showing their current market value. Close the letter by saying you require the return of all your property by a date eg 2 weeks from now otherwise you will be instructing a solicitor. You could offer the alternative to returnig the items as paying the full market price as listed above. Send it recorded delivery and keep a copy. Give her 2 weeks then consult a solicitor or go straight to the small claims court.

One thing you need to do and that is to make absolutely sure your sister returns the £20, or things could get complicated. Then I'd move yards.
 
Sounds like your dad could be of use here - ask him to come up X's yard with you to get the stuff in person.

Don't take no for an answer and I would suggest you don't tell your sister what your plan is either....
 
Mcnaughty I agree, not sure my sister is been a bit devious here, and making me out to be the bad guy.
I have not yet played my trump card yet, when I do my sister will regret the day she ever lent the stuff.
I lent my sister £3000,ages ago, I dont want it back and have no intention of wanting it back but I did, think of saying if she didnt get the stuff back in our tack room in 2 weeks I will have the money back I gave you, because its obvious if we are giving tack away you have got too much money.
My sister thinks sun shines out of said girl, and does everything she says, and follows like a sheep, and hangs on her every word, think we might be saying good bye to this tack, I dont care if it gets put in our tack trunk and never see day light again its the princeple.
 
My sister thinks Ive gone stark raving mad actually!!
I do some voluntary work in a charity shop in our local town, ive worked a few hours this am, anyway I work with a lovley Polish girl,been in uk 4 years got little boy Polish husband both work hard not particulary nice jobs, not got much money. I paked my car 2 other voluteers and me caught up with Polish girl, we all walked past a 2nd hand furniture shop, Polish girl pointed out a nice dining table 6 chairs, price £99 inc delivery, she said "wish I could afford that we havnt got a table"
We all looked side ways at each other, I said "how much can you afford?" "£50 she replied"
So I said I will go in shop, bid manager £50 and you will have table!!
Polish girl said "what if they decline" I said "I will give you the extra money and I dont want it back, you are your familiy must have a table and chairs"
So I told my sister this, she said you are a bloody idiot, you wont give some one a load of tack but you will give some one money for a dining table.
So what she is not having that tack on principle.
Anyway good news manager accepted my bid, and she got her table and chairs it is getting delivered Monday!!!!
She was over the moon.
 
Steeleydan said:
My sister thinks Ive gone stark raving mad actually!!
I do some voluntary work in a charity shop in our local town, ive worked a few hours this am, anyway I work with a lovley Polish girl,been in uk 4 years got little boy Polish husband both work hard not particulary nice jobs, not got much money. I paked my car 2 other voluteers and me caught up with Polish girl, we all walked past a 2nd hand furniture shop, Polish girl pointed out a nice dining table 6 chairs, price £99 inc delivery, she said "wish I could afford that we havnt got a table"
We all looked side ways at each other, I said "how much can you afford?" "£50 she replied"
So I said I will go in shop, bid manager £50 and you will have table!!
Polish girl said "what if they decline" I said "I will give you the extra money and I dont want it back, you are your familiy must have a table and chairs"
So I told my sister this, she said you are a bloody idiot, you wont give some one a load of tack but you will give some one money for a dining table.
So what she is not having that tack on principle.
Anyway good news manager accepted my bid, and she got her table and chairs it is getting delivered Monday!!!!
She was over the moon.
Click to expand...

Awww thats kind of you. Any news on the tack?
 
As said earlier, you have requested the return of your property, she has refused to return it, that is theft. Phone up your non emergency police number and make a complaint. Bet you'll get it back pronto after a call from the local polis!
 
Sharon- No news on tack, my sister is at said friend house tonight for dinner so I guess, "Me the unreasonable" will be getting discussed, Iam at Your horse Live all day tommorow, and I know my sister is going over to help said friend at her yard so tonight after the big row and my Dad intervened, I told my sister I want the lot getting back tommorow while Iam out, so we shall see, not holding a lot of hope out, my sister wont dare confront her.
 
Please do something about this sooner rather than later :/
I have never and will never lend my stuff out (horsey or not) for this very reason.
The sooner you get the police involved the better. If she still refuses, take her to court over it.
 
Kao, I agree totally my Nan used to have a saying "Never a lender nor a borrower be"
She was so right, I dont mind lending anything, but doesnt it cause alot of embarassment when you want it back. I hope my sister has learnt a lesson from this.
 
can i just say, if your sister doesn't understand the difference between you and your friends doing something nice for someone who doesn't have very much, and her giving your tack away to some little rich bitch, then quite honestly i know which sister i would rather have as a friend.

You are right, it is the principle of the thing. I would be going up myself and getting the kit back, every last bit of it. Write a list before you go so you don't miss anything.
If you don't like the confrontation theng, get your dad to go with you, i am sure her mum won't tell him to **** off. No wonder she is like that if that is the sort of attitude her mother has to her stealing.

If all else fails I will come down with my baseball bat and Dobermann (she is really soft but looks the part) :D
 
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