Am I being unreasonable?? long long long!

Firewell

Firewell

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I keep my horse on a small livery yard. The owners are not horsey and we are a small happy group of liveries who get on with things ourselves. We sort out grazing and who has what stables ect between us and generally we all get on pretty well.

Any small maintenance jobs of the yard we also do, like clearing the leaves out the gutters and that sort of thing.

We are also responsible for harrowing the school.

I am one of 4 people who has access to a 4x4 to harrow the school (no tractor/quad bike). The 4x4 is not mine but my OH's and I rarely use it as 1. Its his and 2. I have my own little car.

3 of the other liveries also have access to 4x4's, 1 of them the 4x4 is their own car the other two regularly use husbands/dads 4x4.

Now I am the ONLY person who harrows the school and it pee's me off a bit. I can only do it when I can sneak my OH's 4x4 away on pretence of picking up a bag of horse feed or whatever. If he knew I was using his car to drag a harrow round the school he would have kittens, it's his man mobile and he would hate me to do anything that might harm it (in the smae way I would be angry if he was using my car to do things that could potentially scratch it).

Of course everyone else at the yard feels the same way hence they don't harrow the school with their cars.

If I don't do the school it gets left, when I moved there it had not been harrowed for a year! The sides were all mounted up, the middle was rock hard and there were large holes everywhere just ripe for leg twisting.

What bothers me is of course once i've harrowed it and its all nice and flat everyone is straight out there jumping on it, lunging ect.

I don't get one 'Thank you', apart from one girl, yet they are all happy to use it straight away for lessons ect!!

What also bothers me is everytime I sneak my OH's car away I have to sneak it back with the same amount of fuel in it.. its a 3.7ltr petrol monster!! Hideously expensive compared to my little 1.7 diesel. So harrowing the school easily costs me £20 in fuel to get the car up to the yard, do the school for 15 mins and get it back home. My car uses £20 a week! I also have to wash tale tell signs of mud and school surface off of it.

This is all quite an effort, and i've been the only one doing it for a year now.

Last time I made a bit of a faff about it at the yard and still no-one got the hint and said thankyou! My friend said thanks and gave me a fiver towards the fuel bless her but no-one else even acknowledged it, if anything they got the huff because they had to wait until I had finished before they could use the school.

Im thinking about writing on the board that I am harrowing the school again soon and please can everyone give me a couple of quid towards my time, effort and fuel to get it done. Literally a pound or 2 so I feel like they are contributing. Its not even about the money I just want acknowledgement! Not them sitting there with their 4x4's parked out the gate watching me harrowing the school and then hosing off the car that I never use apart from when to harrow the school!

Its really bothering me. I know its a bit pathetic in the whole scheme of things but the school hasnt been done for 2 weeks now and it really needs harrowing again and i'm of course the only idiot to do it.

Phew sorry, bit of a rant. Apart from this we do actually all get on really well. Do you think putting a notice on the board requesting a couple quid is unreasonable? I don't want to rock the boat so to speak, or make my life difficult by peeing everybody off, I'm not confrontational hence airing on a forum.

I've tried asking if we could share the responsibility but I got nothing apart from silence and the view of their backs...
 
I think it would be worth doing a rota as others also have access to 4 x4 's. They probably don't take a lot of notice because you are always the one to do it.

No I don't think you're over reacting, we are all busy people, we all have the extra price of fuel to pay and its only fair if everyone who uses the school contributes to its maintenance.
 
No, don't put a note on the board, have a chat about it. Tell the other liveries what you've told us, that you have to use subterfuge to get access to your OH's 4x4 and it costs you a lot of money - and probably some upset if you get 'found out'.

You say you get on well, so be up front and suggest you'd like to set up a rota. If no one wants to play ball, I'd suggest that banning lunging or jumping would keep the school in better condition and you could hand rake the trackis.

Good luck!
 
Personally I would be quite happy to give you a few quid to pay towards the cost of fuel AND your time for going to the trouble of doing it in the first place. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. At the end of the day a few quid is nothing to the price of a vet's bill for a twisted leg or knackered tendon...

I would speak to everyone on the yard and tell them that you will continue to do it as long as they stick their hand in their pocket every couple of weeks, put it up on the board at the yard so everyone knows when you are planning on doing it and then they know when to expect to dig deep :)
 
If you want to ride in a harrowed school, then you keep doing it. If you do not, stop.

If you do not want to fork out £20 (which seems like alot unless you live miles away from yard!) then just stop doing it- if no one else cares enough to do it, then I imagine they will not want to pay you for doing it.

Speak to YO/YM about drawing up a rota.

and sort your OH out- its a blumming 4x$ not a Ferrari!! :)
 
Ok, I think a rota will go down like a ton of bricks as none of them will want to use their precious cars for the job but I agree it is probably the way to go first.
They do use their cars for towing trailers so its not that they can't use them..
 
Perhaps you should ask your OH first? I wouldn't like to think I was witholding info from my OH - what if something happens when you are harrowing the school? How will you explain that?

If he says 'crack on', then I would draw up a rota, as suggested, with the 4 of you.

If he says 'no', you will have to honour that and remove yourself from the rota and the other three can get on with it - with you making an appropriate contribution of course.
 
BBH said:
I think it would be worth doing a rota as others also have access to 4 x4 's. They probably don't take a lot of notice because you are always the one to do it.

No I don't think you're over reacting, we are all busy people, we all have the extra price of fuel to pay and its only fair if everyone who uses the school contributes to its maintenance.
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This. Is something is just magically done people don't take too much notice, they're not deliberately being inconsiderate, it's just human nature. Just get everyone together and discuss the issue - communicate :)
 
lexiedhb said:
If you want to ride in a harrowed school, then you keep doing it. If you do not, stop.

If you do not want to fork out £20 (which seems like alot unless you live miles away from yard!) then just stop doing it- if no one else cares enough to do it, then I imagine they will not want to pay you for doing it.

Speak to YO/YM about drawing up a rota.

and sort your OH out- its a blumming 4x$ not a Ferrari!! :)
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You've hit the nail on the head. They don't care that its harrowed or not. They will when they fork out for the expensive event horses they talk about buying their daughters but untill that point, sadly not. They have hairys and ponies that they own.

I have spoken to them saying can we share the job and they just turned away blanking me or did a nervous laugh and said they can't risk their car. Which I understand even though it hasn't harmed my OH's car at all. He's not precious about his car, he fills it with logs and stuff he just doesnt like me using it as he knows how careless I am with my own car (backed it in to a wall 3 weeks after getting it! Inside looks like a stable).

Im going to say I want something for acknowledgement and if they don't want to then I may move yards as there are other things that bother me about being there (they don't worm or poo pick their fields). Its a shame as otherwise yard is perfect but there ya go!
 
Suggest a rota then everyone shares responsibility.

Tell them the reasons why, you don't have to go into every detail but a short explanation as to why it's difficult borrowing your OH's 4x4 everytime and that school needs to harrowed (surely they all agree with that) and that it seems unfair that nobody else is offering to do it.

People take liberties, if someone else takes responsiblity for something all the time (even if you choose not to) others will quite happily keep quiet and go along with it and your right it's not fair, just tell them. :)
 
Well there ya go then...... if they are not bothered whether it is done or not, then there is a snowballs chance in hell of them either doing it themselves, or paying you to.
 
Unfortunately I think you hit the nail on the head when you said they dont care if its done or not. So, I suspect if you dont do it, that will be it

Only one thing I would add though, is that a 4x4 is not ideal for the job. When I had my school put in the company that did it specifically advised against using one and suggested a Quad or Garden tractor to tow the harrow. Apparently the weight of a 4x4 puts a lot of strain on the retaining fence and tends to push it out sideways over time. Maybe an angle there? Could cost a lot in repairs at some stage
 
I would speak to your OH, it's not fair to use his car in an act you know he would say no to. If the school then doesn't get harrowed so be it. Then he should get a grip, it's a 4x4 not a road car, they are meant for work not sitting pretty on a drive. I spent hours at the weekend harrowing fields in a 4x4, not a little school.

Talk to them. You say you get on well, so talk. I'd much rather chat with someone than have them try to force their will on a subject, you aren't the YO. Ask them if they think the school should be harrowed reguarly. If yes, then would they prefer to take a slot on the rota on contribute towards fuel instead? Would they prefer to take turns hand-raking it?

If they aren't fussed about a harrowed school, then it doesn't get done. It is a shared facility so you can't stop them using (ruining) it just after you've harrowed. You either accept that this is how they choose to behave or don't harrow if it continues to upset you.

I'm not trying to be harsh, I totally understand where you are coming from, but that's livery yard politics for you, especially with a non-involved YO. As they are not normally involved I would be very cautious about going to them, they may see you as the person causing the issue just because you've stuck your head above the parapet.
 
Op I totally know where you are coming from! We sound like we have a very similar set up. I no longer have access to a 4x4 but am always very careful to thank anyone who harrows school. It drives me MAD when people 'loose school' at a gallop or lunge in fast canter always in the same circle. Our school becomes almost unrideable at times especially when it's dry.
One thing I'd ask (from being in a very similar position) is whether this is maybe just the straw that might break the camel's back? We seem to feel like we are running up a downward escalator at the moment with our yard....although have just heard that school has been harrowed as have two of our winter fields today so that's one job off the list at least!!
 
Is there a YO/YM around? Agree with others suggest drawing up a rota. If they use the school they should be responsible for helping to maintain it. Say you can't use OH's car he's put his foot down. Otherwise can you hire a school? I do half hour once a week £5 5 minute hack away. Cheaper than what it costs u to harrow the school and time saving :D. Do that for a while see what happens :p. They may take the iniciative (sp) if you aren't doing it!
 
Shame you can't stop the lunging, as that trashes Arenas.
We're lucky that we have our own, but we banned the neighbours from lunging in the end.
If the Arena is not harrowed it will eventually become permanently un level, and surely the yard owner should step in - if only to preserve their assett long term, can you not tackle it from that perspective.
I know someone who never harrowed their arena, and it became hill in places. In the end they had to have the whole thing re-levelled by diggers and a new surface put on top.

PS - the person making the point about 4x4's, we've always harrowed with our Discovery no probs. We have Rubber and Silica, and underneath 'Trackright' surface (levelled and new surface due to flooding a couple of years ago), but guess some surfaces may be impacted more that others
 
Ans 5ods law says with them having nimble natives they'd never get hurt in a rutted school if you left it. Think you may need to look for somewhere else if you can't carry on as you are. Fail to see why their cars are more precious to them than yours is to you or your oh, but that's selfish people for you.
 
Depends on how much value the owners put on their arena. If it was my property I would want to keep the arena in good condition and not let it become damaged or deteriorate and would get a local contactor in one a month to service it properly and then include the cost with the rental of the yard.
 
If you're in a rural area you might be able to find a teen with a quad who's happy to come and do it for pocket money? If you know anyone with kids at the local school get them to ask around, or a card in the Post office window. In my friends daughters primary class the teacher has had to ban the word 'quad', all the boys are obsessed lol.
 
Perhaps say the 4x4 is off the road or you have been taken off the insurance so you cant drive it.

They will then be forced to do it and they might then appreciate you having done it for so long.
 
Perhaps if they don't want to risk their cars they could get their ponies to do it. YO next to us uses her pony to level the school, gives the now outgrown pony something to do!
 
I think many people have the same isses you are having. Personally I would try and organise an 'off the yard' meeting either at the local pub or cafe so people have to sit and voice their views, not wonder off the do odd jobs! Go with what you are prepared to do but also want you need in return - either sharing the tasks needed or if you are the only one happy to harrow the school then ask for payment (either in hay, other services or hard cash!) If none of these options work then maybe a chat with the owner is needed for a reduction in your livery to keep their premises in top condition - they may feel the need to increase the other liveries fees to compensate for this!

When we were told that our old YO was leaving I started looking for another yard with a friend, after knocking on a few doors I found where we are now, at the time it was empty and the perfect option for starting out a better run yard.
I spoke to everyone on the yard and we were all in agreement that we would stick together, with that knowledge I approached the new YO and said the entire yard would move but... we needed the school to be completed, floodlights installed, toilet and kitchen area and secure tack room, finally I offered my services to clear the fields twice a week and harrow the manege if he supplied the equipment and some livery reduction for my time.
3 years on we have almost everything we asked for, the lights just need to be installed the yard was full until November as 2 liveries move out and I am sure now the facilities are all there he will not have any problems filling the stables.
 
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