Am I Being Unreasonable to Sharer?

[mulledwhine]

Wow, what a good deal she has, and she only has to muck out!!!!

Tell her to wind or neck in, there are more than enough peoplewho would be more than willing to take her place

 

[Goldenstar]

The being unreasonable, is that they want to change feed, tack, rugs, put out when i have asked for him to stay in due to weather/ground. I appreciate that everyone does things differently, but i have been around horses a long time and know how i like things done. So if someone asked me to do something a certain way i would make sure that was done that way. Little things can add up and then you start getting bigger issues and i don't want that. I just want the horse to be happy. I don't think my requests are harsh or out of the ordinary either.

To play devils advocate here ,she's a sharer not an employee . With my groom I feel able to say my ways what we do but I shared a horse with a friend ( slightly more 50/50 than in this case admittedly) and that meant I had to accommodate some things I did not like.
I would try to have a chat with her the interesting thing about her requesting changes is the why she would like to make these changes , horses change over time put your istening ears on and try to take time calmly to work out if she is just bossy or if she has valid reasons for what she thinks.
Giving advice in these sorts of threads is hard I dont know you I don't know your sharer If she rides your horse well that's worth alot and I would not risk losing her.

 

[Ladyinred]

Thing is, one person's 'sharp' is another persons 'keen'. Is she maybe not giving him enough work because of his percieved 'sharpness' Would it help if you could, health allowing, lunge or long line him every day as well?

She sounds too good to lose, but, as you said, the little things mount up until it becomes a bigger issue. Try to have a quiet talk with her now before it gets to that stage.

 

[mulledwhine]

Wow, what a good deal she has, and she only has to muck out!!!!

Tell her to wind or neck in, there are more than enough peoplewho would be more than willing to take her place

 

[mulledwhine]

Apologies for phone sending this again

 

[Ibblebibble]

The being unreasonable, is that they want to change feed, tack, rugs, put out when i have asked for him to stay in due to weather/ground. I appreciate that everyone does things differently, but i have been around horses a long time and know how i like things done. So if someone asked me to do something a certain way i would make sure that was done that way. Little things can add up and then you start getting bigger issues and i don't want that. I just want the horse to be happy. I don't think my requests are harsh or out of the ordinary either.

Oh and there are no rules and stipulations. You ride when you like, you get everything provided for you, you do not have to collect any feed etc as it is all supplied by yard. If you can't get to yard i will go morning and night, basically you get to treat the horse as your own as long as he is kept the way he should be. I think that is fair.

well i think that is more than fair and as he is your horse then it is entirely right that you decide what he is fed etc. so no you are not being at all unreasonable

 

[xspiralx]

I don't think you're being unreasonable per se, but at the same time, it doesn't sound like she's doing anything that wrong either.

If she's the person doing most of the riding, its not unreasonable for her to have an opinion about tack and things. Unless she's directly going against your instructions and DOING these things rather than just suggesting them, then I think she's well within her rights to have the conversation with you.

However it sounds as though she is finding him too much - so you need to consider if she is competent enough to be riding him. If you value her ability and she rides him well, then maybe give her suggestions some consideration too. If not, then tell her no, and that she will have to stop riding him if she's not happy with his management.

 

[Jenni_]

Sounds wonderful. I do wish there were more opportunities like this up my way. Would Happlily pay 20 a week and do ALOT. More of the other stuff for such a good horse

 

[Welshie Squisher]

Well now you've explained what, it sounds like the changes she wishes to make is due to your horses sharpness.
Whilst I agree with the theory your horse, your rules, if safety is involved then I'd walk away if you weren't willing to listen.
It's no fun riding a horse that's too sharp for you, and if your sharer feels the horse is being indirectly encouraged to be sharp with excess hard feed, lack of turn out etc, then she's right to want changes made, it's her neck on the line after all.

Discuss with her, from what you say she's not a bad sharer.
She may have a different level of confidence or skill to yourself, she may genuinely feel the need for additional or different tack etc.
Good shares are based on good communication, obviously not the case here

 

[janina]

as a previous sharer i think you have every right to say what you want done with your horse your sharer is very lucky to have such a good horse to ride for very little money. I was paying almost twice that and would always ask how she wanted me to care for/ride her horse after all it was her horse!

 

[LaurenM]

If she's worth keeping as a sharer then it's worth sitting her down and talking to her.

 

[Wizzkid]

If you can’t have a conversation with her about your concerns then why are you having her share your horse?
I think you are being a bit unreasonable/unfair moaning about it in here rather than sorting it out.

 

[Snowy1]

I am sorry Wizzkid i fail to see where i am moaning. In fact read the title it clearly states "Am I Being Unreasonable". I wanted to know if my expectations were wrong, i have never had to share a horse and due to my illness it isn't a situation i am familiar with.

I have been a member of this forum for 12 years, unfortunately i have no login details at work and one of the first times i ask for advice someone puts a comment like that, no wonder this forum has such a bad reputation. Everyone else put constructive comments, but there always has to be one.