Am I being unreasonable?

FigJam

FigJam

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Just wondered what other people's opinions would be on this situation.

I am on a diy yard. As I am first up on the yard in the mornings during the week (7am), I put all the horses' breakfast in for them before mucking out and turning out my horse.

Recently, one of the other owners has left out hay with a note asking to empty this bucket of hay into the stable when her horse is fed.

Now I know that this is not much on the grand scale of things, but if I had to do this for every horse, it would add on a considerable amount of time. As it is, I have to use up precious morning minutes doing their breakfasts before hurrying home and getting ready for work.

The owner in question then gets to saunter up to the yard after 9am, ride her horse safe in the knowledge that it's been fed and kept happy until she arrives. I feel a bit put out that I'm having to go out of my way to do my horse before going to work while they're having a bit of a lie in.

Surely the clue is in the title (diy!) of the livery type. I'd feel bad not feeding them all breakfast (and they'd probably make a racket and kick doors etc), but effectively I'm providing them with a service for no return?
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YO is not around on the yard until 9am ish either.

Should I say or do something? Or just deal with it and stop being unreasonable?!
 
I think I would have a quiet word explaining that you have a limited amount of time in the morning & don't mind popping feeds in, but you don't have time to hay everybody's horses and you feed them just to stop the horses from door banging etc. It is a tad cheeky them just leaving you a note like that! I think I would also explain that you don't mind helping out with hay occassionally eg if they are ill but expecting you to do it everyday is a bit much.
 
I think you are being very kind to feed everything and I also think whoever asked you to do extra chores is a cheeky mare! Im sorry but as it is diy I wouldnt even bother feeding, let alone stand there mixing up everyone's feed! I think you are being very generous.

I would personally have a grumble to myself and ignore the comment, but that is because I hate confrontation. If she were to ask me had I seen the note I would say I didnt. Then if she had to gall to ask me to my face would I hay him too? I would probably chirp oh thatll will be £5 a week then.

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I think it would have been polite of the person in question to have talked to you about it first rather than just leaving a note like you're their personal groom or something!
Other than that I'm not sure it's that unreasonable, perhaps you could talk to her and explain that you're short on time, and could she put the hay in a big bucket that you can just put inside the door at the same time as the feed. If other owners start jumping on the bandwagon I would have a conversation with the yard owner and suggest that either she gets down earlier or she pays you something for your work in the morning.
 
If you don't want to do it just say you don't really have time. Suggest they get their ar5e into gear and out of bed a bit earlier instead of being so darn lazy! I used to do that at a previous yard and I didn't mind, but if it had started to be nets etc as well I might not have bothered! You have to draw the line somewhere!

Alternatively you could always charge
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I'd charge for the feeding too - if you charged 20 a day to put a bucket in - so £1 a week - then you'd soon earn enough to shoe your horse. Little amounts of money add up, as do small favours.
I agree with orangehorse
 
Not at all, any extra time in a morning is precious! Think that is very cheeky to ask!

Similar thing caused a bit of a fall out at my old yard as first one down (normally me!) would put all the breakfasts in but not nets - get up earlier to go muck out and turn out mine not to tie and extra nets up! They had a right whinge at one of the other liveries who had gone down early and taken her horse to a show, but not fed or netted any of the others. We were on DIY which included morning feed and net.
 
Does it really take up that much more of your time?

I am an on a DIY yard and whoever gets down first in the mornings always feeds their block of stables. One of the girls in my block always leaves a section of hay to be chucked in too. If someone wants a haynet put up they always ask first.

I would have a word with her and say you can chuck some sections in with the breakfast but you haven't got time to mess around waiting til she has eaten and then emptying a bucket in there. Could she not have the hay left in the bucket?
 
I agree it sounds very cheeky. I used to work on a yard and people kept texting me during the day asking me to do things when I was meant to be working for the YO doing his horses. they all stopped doing it one day as I left my phone at home and did not get any messages. It made them think twice. It used to drive me mad.

Try (if you can bare it) asking someone else to feed your horse one morning and then they will not take you for granted.
 
I'm on a part/full livery yard and if any of us get down before the yard staff(eg. before a show) we're expected to put everythings breakfast in. No one has a problem with this as there are only nineteen boxes and it takes less than ten minutes. People would be miffed about putting up haynets etc but if there was a slice of hay on top of the feed buckets to drop over the door I don't think anyone would mind. I think you should speak to her and come to an arrangement about exactly what you will and won't do.
 
Do you mix people brekkies up for them too?!
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On DIY yards I have been at brekkies have to be made up and left outside your stable, if they are not there your horse isn't fed.
Unless the person wanting you to hay their horse is a good friend, then I wouldn't be doing it.
 
I don't think you are being unreasonable as it is that person's attitude that would bug me.

I hay two other horses when I bucket feed & hay my own in the morning which I don't mind but what get's me is that the other two never leave the hay ready or even say thank you. Their attitude is similar to your fellow livery and that's what gets me more than actually doing the job.
 
Suppose it depends on the yard ethos as to whether the act of putting in hay in itself is cheeky, but certainly just leaving a note IS cheeky - she SHOULD have asked you to your face.

I would think DIY should be about favours for favours, so surely people should do bits for you in return? THEN it's fair.
 
I think you are a very generous and gracious person to be offering such a service for no return...do you get re-paid by the owners of these horses by them doing odd jobs for you or bringing your horse in for you or something? I sincerely hope that you do! If you are not careful you will find yourself throwing hay in for everyone too. I am sorry but there are a lot of well meaning people in the world that end up taking advantage of people like yourself...just be careful because you will end up as general run around and I bet the world that no one will be seen for dust when you need some help for some reason.
That sounds terrible but human beings can be so lazy and selfish and take advantage of nice people like yourself. Put your foot down before it gets out of hand or at least ask to be paid.
 
No I don't think you are being unreasonable at all!!! I am first up on a DIY yard and the yard rules is that the first one up in the mornings feeds. I don't mind occasionally putting a section of hay over the door, but I will not tie haynets up or anything else - why should I get up 5 minutes earlier because the owners a too f'ing lazy to do it themselves - if they want their horses to get hay then it's up to them to get their arse up and give it to their horse!!
 
I think it was a little rude or thoughtless of the person just leaving you a note. I can't see how her horse can suffer in the two hours between your arrival and her arrival. If it is that important, then let her come to do it.

The point is, you feed the other horses because you choose to come to the yard early, and don't want the disruption of other horses kicking their doors. Dropping the hay is not something that is required to ensure her horse is kept quiet. If she wants a groom, then she needs to pay for one.

If you were friends with her, and she did odd jobs for you, then fair enough. On the face of it, she is on the verge of taking advantage. I mean, once you have put the hay in, you may as well skip the horse out quickly as it would only take a few minutes ...
 
Thank you to all who have replied. I'm pleased to hear I'm not being completely out of order by being a bit miffed about it!

I understand that putting one bucket of hay in is not a huge amount of time in the grand scheme of things, it's more the principle of it, if you see what I mean? As someone has mentioned, DIY is often about doing favours for each other- we all need help at some point and that I don't mind at all.

However, it is ALWAYS me up first, every weekday, most weekends wit hvery few exceptions. This owner is never the first up and so never repaying the favour as such. To me this is unfair and if ever anyone does something to help me, I always make sure I do something in return another time. (e.g. I have a system with my friends where I turn out our horses first thing and they bring them in at night, works for us but we're both winning out of the arrangement)

I think I'll have a quiet, polite word with her tomorrow. Luckily the feeds are made up outside the stables, so just need put in, but even that takes up 5mins doing the whole row (and in the mornings, 5mins is a lot of time!!
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)

Thanks everyone for the input.

PS- my friend who I whinged to this morning also suggested charging- then see how quickly they stop!!
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I am on a DIY yard and the first person up in the morning does the feeds and that included tying any hay nets that have been left, but to be fair there's only 6 or so.Usually its normally 2 people in the morning and I am one of them, it doesn't take long really and I have things done for me in return like every night my horse is bought in for me which is a great help.

The Y/O is brilliant and on many occasions they are done already when we get there especially at weekends.
It should be give and take, but I would be miffed if I was always giving.
 
I don't think ur being unreasonable but it's possible this person doesn't realise they are being unreasonable
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At my old yard as I was always up first I used to feed them all but if they wanted anything else I used to charge (I think it was abt £5 per week to do hay and rugs) which kept my horse in carrots
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If I were her I would be extreamly gratefull that my horse is being fed and that I could have a lay in and because of that I don't think I would have the cheek to ask you to do anything more.
I understand that it doesn't take much more time to do what she has asked but I think if you accepted then it may lead to her leaving you more notes of things she would like you to do.
She should have asked you in person and you should come to an agreed arragement if she wants something doing for her, I think it was rather rude just leaving a post it.
I hope that you will get something in return for helping out the other owners.
I do think that if people do start asking you for more favours then you should ask for payment.
 
I think you're also being kind feeding them all, although they do need to be done at the same time which would be difficult with getting everyone together to do it.

I'd ask for some money for it! Id say that Id be happy to do the horses feeds BUT at £1 each a day or whatever. Because why the hell SHOULD you do it for free when its DIY?! But I wouldnt do the hay etc. because you simply dont have the time which is totally understandable. Different if there was give and take (ie. they did things for you) but sounds like they're taking advantage.
 
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I think you're also being kind feeding them all, although they do need to be done at the same time which would be difficult with getting everyone together to do it.

I'd ask for some money for it! Id say that Id be happy to do the horses feeds BUT at £1 each a day or whatever. Because why the hell SHOULD you do it for free when its DIY?! But I wouldnt do the hay etc. because you simply dont have the time which is totally understandable. Different if there was give and take (ie. they did things for you) but sounds like they're taking advantage.

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This is the root of my problem with the situation. I wouldn't be bothered if it were a mix of people who go there first and so everyone did it every now and then, or if she were doing something that was similar and helped me out a bit.

But it's not like that and no one ever says "thanks", it's just expected.
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I just don't want to cause a fuss or get anyone's backs up, but also don't want to be a mug and do everyone else's stuff for them- I have to do it, so should they really. (or pay YO to do stuff they are unable to get up and do)

I also don't want the horses suffering (e.g. only doing my horse's breakfast) because it's not their fault, it's the owners.
 
Unless the other liveries are doing you favours in return, I wouldn't have taken on these duties in the morning without charging them. Sounds mean spirited, but as you have seen, do one thing and the next thing you know people are asking for more. Being paid for your work makes it all straightforward and simpler in the long run.
 
The problem with this is that if you are always the first one on the yard in a morning people get used to you doing the morning feed & they get lazier & arrive at the yard later & later. It gets to a point when they automatically expect their horses to be fed by someone every morning.

You will find that it will always be you or possibly one other person who does the feeds, the others won't bother getting up that little bit earlier. As you have also found, the person leaving a note to put in hay as well is starting to take the P, You need to speak to people & let them know what a DIY yard is!!
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How did you get roped into this in the first place ?
She probably thinks you have plenty of time and enjoy doing it. Time for a quiet word I think !
 
I pay 50p a day for someone to chuck a bucket over the door!

Personally, I would tell everyone that you don't have time to feed everyones horses in the morning, so will no longer be doing so, unless they make it worth your while (i.e. pay you) to get out of bed 5 minutes earlier!
 
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How did you get roped into this in the first place ?
She probably thinks you have plenty of time and enjoy doing it. Time for a quiet word I think !

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The YO had mentioned to me when I first moved my horse there that the first person on the yard would generally chuck in breakfast for all the horses- these are left outside the stables, if there's nothing there, they don't get anything.

Seemd fair enough and I thought that with most people being DIY, it would tend to get rotated due to people arriving to do their horses at similar times.

But it seems that some of the owners (inc YO) are happy to leave their horses in quite late (mid morning). I've always had it drummed into me that the horses get done first and are best being out in the field asap after being cooped up overnight, plus I have a full time job, so I'm up there as soon as the yard opens (7am).

So it turns out I'm the breakfast feeder pretty much every day. Bad enough, but Ido it because it's not fair on the horses not to do it. I just feel that this is a step too far and a bit cheeky of them.

My husband has pointed out that maybe they think it is the YO who feeds first thing. I'm not sure if they know it's me or not. I think the best way forward is to try have a quiet word and be honest and explain the situation and how I feel about it. Problem is she's the type who is likely to take it the wrong way and will no doubt be in a huff for a while after.
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That's why I wanted to make sure I was being reasonable in my annoyance, before I brought it up with her! Wish me luck, I'll try to stay calm and friendly about it but firm at the same time.
 
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I pay 50p a day for someone to chuck a bucket over the door!

Personally, I would tell everyone that you don't have time to feed everyones horses in the morning, so will no longer be doing so, unless they make it worth your while (i.e. pay you) to get out of bed 5 minutes earlier!

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I could be earning half my livery cost per week back if I did that!!! Very tempting...!
 
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