Am i being unreasonable??

hunting mad

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my sons horse(hunter) is out on loan just for the summer.....more as a favour to my friend(friend has been looking for ages for a summer loan),not because i needed him gone.
He is due to come back for hunting season.
I asked the loaner not to jump him on this hard ground and now she is sending him back.....am i being unfair???
 

MerrySherryRider

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Don't think my response would be printable. If your friend wants to hammer a horse on rock hard ground, let her do it on her own when she buys the poor thing.
 

FairyLights

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You are perfectly justified. I wouldnt want my horse jumped, or even trotted on the hard ground we have at the moment. Some people are just so selfish. Take your horse back asap.
 

hunting mad

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Perfectly justified reason - maybe she's unsure as to why you don't want him to be jumped? xx

I explained the reasons of damaged tendons etc,etc.....
I feel really mean,but the horses welfare has to come first,and now i think ive lost a friend because of it :(
He is coming home on Wednesday
 

zoon

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I explained the reasons of damaged tendons etc,etc.....
I feel really mean,but the horses welfare has to come first,and now i think ive lost a friend because of it :(
He is coming home on Wednesday

She wasn't much fo a friend in the first place if she was willing to risk breaking your horse by jumping on the hard ground.
 

ThePinkPony

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Shes not a friend if she behaves like that.

but maybe its for the best, if shes jumping on this ground then you cant help but think in what other areas she is compromising your horses wellbeing
 

VioletStripe

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I explained the reasons of damaged tendons etc,etc.....
I feel really mean,but the horses welfare has to come first,and now i think ive lost a friend because of it :(
He is coming home on Wednesday

I'd rather have an unhappy loaner and a horse sent back than an injured horse, you did the right thing :) If she can't see that, and can't see the right side of it then you're certainly doing no bad thing! xx
 

ShowjumperXD

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I believe that is a very justified reason for not wanting him jumped. It makes me really mad when people want to hammer their horses/ponies into the hard ground just to do a bit of jumping. :mad::mad::eek:
 
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xspiralx

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Well take a step back a second - I think its pretty harsh to say that this girl wants to 'hammer the horse into the ground' - without knowing the ins and outs of the situation there is absolutely no justification to say that.

She might have felt that the OP was going to be oversensitive about the way she looked after the horse and it was better to end it before it started - there is nothing worse than loaning a horse and then having the owner interfering every two minutes. She may have had no intention of doing anything to harm the horse, but may have felt that her sense of reasonable ground to jump on differed to that of the owner's, and rather than having to ask permission every time she did anything, chose to give the horse back.

Or she might be a nasty woman who couldn't give a rats arse about the horse. But without knowing her side of it, you can't possibly tell.
 

hunting mad

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Well take a step back a second - I think its pretty harsh to say that this girl wants to 'hammer the horse into the ground' - without knowing the ins and outs of the situation there is absolutely no justification to say that.

She might have felt that the OP was going to be oversensitive about the way she looked after the horse and it was better to end it before it started - there is nothing worse than loaning a horse and then having the owner interfering every two minutes. She may have had no intention of doing anything to harm the horse, but may have felt that her sense of reasonable ground to jump on differed to that of the owner's, and rather than having to ask permission every time she did anything, chose to give the horse back.

Or she might be a nasty woman who couldn't give a rats arse about the horse. But without knowing her side of it, you can't possibly tell.

Not nasty...just novicy..
 

Elsbells

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Well take a step back a second - I think its pretty harsh to say that this girl wants to 'hammer the horse into the ground' - without knowing the ins and outs of the situation there is absolutely no justification to say that.

She might have felt that the OP was going to be oversensitive about the way she looked after the horse and it was better to end it before it started - there is nothing worse than loaning a horse and then having the owner interfering every two minutes. She may have had no intention of doing anything to harm the horse, but may have felt that her sense of reasonable ground to jump on differed to that of the owner's, and rather than having to ask permission every time she did anything, chose to give the horse back.

Or she might be a nasty woman who couldn't give a rats arse about the horse. But without knowing her side of it, you can't possibly tell.

Just what I as thinking and very well put.
 

hunting mad

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The loaner now wants me to collect NOW!!!
My OH is still working and my boys are in bed and i dont tow the box......cant believe this is happening
 

ThePinkPony

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wow, what a cow, and she is meant to be your friend, id hate to see your enemies.

Whens the earliest you can pick horse up in the morning? whats the rush anyway? wasnt it you doing her a favour in the first place?
 

hunting mad

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I can collect the horse as soon as i get boys to school.
She is now threatening me with the police if i go tomorrow to collect him
 

Leaveittothediva

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Hi, No you are not being unreasonable, you have explained the situation and no she is sending the horse back. Why you are losing her friendship I don't know, I know plenty of people who buy ponies for their children, without knowing the first thing about the animals care, but when they run into trouble and someone puts them straight, the old ego's don't like it you see. This Lady will most probably get her own horse, run into trouble and then not have a friend like you to turn to. It's called cutting off your nose to spite your face.;)
 

horsey_jo

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Call the police????? :eek: on what grounds?
Tell her to go ahead - wasting police time I reckon.
Sounds like she needs a shrink not the rozzers.
 

Honey08

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Oh dear what a mess!

I was wondering when I read this earlier if you had perhaps been a little blunt/tactless in the way you said it to her? I can be like that sometimes without realising.

Now she has blown a gasket, I'm wondering if she's been reading this, or been pointed to it and guessed that it is about her?
 

Kenzo

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All seems rather strange, two sides to every story an all.

But I agree its not unreasonable asking her not to jump him on hard ground its a sensible request and one you'd expect a good horse person to understand without taking offence, but it depends on how you asked and what has led you to think she would, if its here say for example, as a loaned and a good friend if someone has been telling untrue tails I could also see why they could be a little upset if things are not spoken about openly.

Hope things are ok once your horse is safely back home.
 

Goldenstar

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When you go tomorrow to get him don't get a flight with her say as little as possible and perhaps take a third party with you if you can.
Then the next time you see her somewhere be friendly and act as if it never happened it may just blow over.
Best place for your boy is home.
Good luck.
 
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