Am I being unreasonable??

That's what I already do! I get the sharers to push barrows. And frankly a lot of medical issues have happened with me during this pregnancy. I technically shouldn't be doing anything. I think people are neglecting the fact that I rent the yard as "sole use" and if I want to do things a certain way it should be down to me to make them decisions not someone else who has just appeared on the scene (out of me being kind in the first place allowing her to come when she had nowhere to go!!)
 
And may I also add she moves my horses from fields without asking. And swaps them out of fields into resting fields etc without consulting me first
 
RacheeRooRoo said:
That's what I already do! I get the sharers to push barrows. And frankly a lot of medical issues have happened with me during this pregnancy. I technically shouldn't be doing anything. I think people are neglecting the fact that I rent the yard as "sole use" and if I want to do things a certain way it should be down to me to make them decisions not someone else who has just appeared on the scene (out of me being kind in the first place allowing her to come when she had nowhere to go!!)
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why did you agree to take her if you didnt want an extra livery and only wanted sole use...because you felt obliged as she was a friend of the landlord?
 
Yes to be honest that's the only reason. I'd rather have the empty stable. But I thought id give her a chance. But she undermines neon everything I do. Like resting paddocks she moves the horses onto etc. there's reasons for them to be rested!
 
No, I don't think it is unreasonable at all, you rent the land and you should be able to have who you want on it (do you have a rental contract?). I would speak directly with the landowner and explain that you weren't expecting to have health troubles and in the situation you can't satisfy the demands of his friends so you'd prefer to terminate them renting the extra stable.
Otherwise, sectioning the field is the only thing I see as a viable option.
Life with a new baby is very hectic, you will only have less time and be more sleep deprived when the baby is born. Your and your baby's health are the most important, no matter what anyone says on a forum or in real life.
Hugs from a new mom :)
 
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RacheeRooRoo said:
Yes to be honest that's the only reason. I'd rather have the empty stable. But I thought id give her a chance. But she undermines neon everything I do. Like resting paddocks she moves the horses onto etc. there's reasons for them to be rested!
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definitely sounds like a chat is in order about that.
seems you might be a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place here. whatever you do, be tactful so she doesnt try to ruin relations between you and land owner. the last thing you want is a row and her flouncing off to bad mouth or worse, get YOU kicked out.
 
Thanks palindrome. I just feel like me and her are two very different people when it comes to doing things with our horses. Everyone has their ways of doing things and she just seems to do everything her way even with my own horses! Think that's why I'm so mad about her asking about a rota because she won't listen to my ideas etc for the paddocks etc so why should I be the same?!! I'd rather have just my boys there and do things with regards to poo picking etc in a way that I'm comfortable and most importantly capable of at this present time
 
Tbh I think you should ask her to leave.

It seems that even if the poo picking thing was resolved you don't really want her there either way. So anything she does will be an irritation as you never wanted to share the place. That means you'll just keep getting on eachothers goat.

As for a rota make it simple ask her which 2 days she wants to do. Then let her do them days and you do your bit as normal.
 
In which case, it doesn't sound like the poo picking is actually the problem. If I were you, I would speak to your landlord (tactfully) to see whether you have any chance of going back to sole use. If that isn't an option, I would be inclined to find an alternative livery, because all these little niggles are going to make your yard a very unhappy place to be very shortly, especially once you have a baby in tow....
 
RacheeRooRoo said:
Yes to be honest that's the only reason. I'd rather have the empty stable. But I thought id give her a chance. But she undermines neon everything I do. Like resting paddocks she moves the horses onto etc. there's reasons for them to be rested!
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I would speak to the landowner and say her being there is not working, its got nothing to do with her when you clear your fields, she is a livery not the yard owner, and really why should you have a rota because she says so, your yard your rules, tell landowner your getting another horse so you need the stable she sounds like a right pain, and she is moving your horses about sorry she would be gone!
 
It's the fact she doesn't consult me before doing things. If she did then I'd be happy for her to stay. But it's looking like anything I say she'll just ignore anyway so what's the point?! I wouldn't touch her horse without permission or move it so why should she be allowed to mine?
 
Talk to the landlord.

Say that you would much prefer if the land could go back to being sole purpose as having a livery isnt working out as you'd hoped it would. You don't wish any hard feelings but it's causing some tensions and this isn't why you wanted to rent the land.

If your tactful theres no reason they will boot you off, equally though you may find they don't want you to remove her.

But if you don't sort it your yard will become a miserable place fast.
 
OP, most of us have been pregnant and yes whilst care may be needed pregnancy is generally something we all manage to handle; and it's obviously not relevant to the woman. She's not interested in whether you're pregnant or not, she's purely interested in what's what with the poo picking. For you to continually use your pregnancy as an excuse is utterly pointless if you and your sharers are doing your share of the poo picking. All that needs discussing is that the poo picking is either being done or it isn't.
 
I've not used it as an excuse at all I was stating a fact. If I was using it as an excuse I wouldn't still bloody try to poo pick when I've been advised by consultants not to do it etc. and yes a lot of people have been pregnant However if you don't know the circumstances I find that quite a harsh thing to say. People experience things very differently in life. Some have it easy some don't.
 
RacheeRooRoo said:
I've not used it as an excuse at all I was stating a fact. If I was using it as an excuse I wouldn't still bloody try to poo pick when I've been advised by consultants not to do it etc. and yes a lot of people have been pregnant However if you don't know the circumstances I find that quite a harsh thing to say. People experience things very differently in life. Some have it easy some don't.
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Please read my post again. The woman is not interested in you being pregnant. You being pregnant is not of any importance to her. The woman is interested in the poo picking and that's all that needs discussing (along with the new barage of complaints against her).
 
I intend to speak to her about it. She's even seen me poo picking. I think she's just done so much that's irritated me etc that this is icing on top of cake.
 
RacheeRooRoo said:
I've not used it as an excuse at all I was stating a fact. If I was using it as an excuse I wouldn't still bloody try to poo pick when I've been advised by consultants not to do it etc. and yes a lot of people have been pregnant However if you don't know the circumstances I find that quite a harsh thing to say. People experience things very differently in life. Some have it easy some don't.
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I don't think anyone has said anything harsh at all! Far from it! No one has said you should be out there poo picking, just that it is a sensible idea to draw up a rota for you OR your sharers to fulfil your side of the task.

I'm sure none of us think you are having an 'easy' time of it, but as SF says, most of us have been there.....Perhaps you could find a local teenager to do your poo picking whilst you are finding it hard, so it can be done regularly?
 
I would get rid of her OP. It sounds like you took the yard to rent because you planned on getting pregnant and wanted the freedom to do things your way, when it suits you, with no rules imposed by others, so you can put yourself and your baby first. There's nothing wrong with that.

Now this woman comes along and feels she has the run of the place, maybe due to being mates with the land owner. If you start with having to consider her feelings about everything and make compromises then you may as well be back on livery. I don't see that you've got anything to lose by kicking her off and the risk that may backfire on you, unless all the livery yards in your area are truly awful and twice the price you're currently paying, then perhaps it would be worth trying to work with this woman.
 
They do it different days but the days change due to work and childcare commitments. Which I'm happy with as in my eyes as long as it's done then that's fine.
 
Your exactly right sugar and spice. It's this woman that was struggling to find somewhere. Not me. If I needed to there's a yard down the road I could go back to but ideally I wanted to do things a certain way especially when baby is here.
 
Then get rid of her OP ..

I could understand your reasons but sitting here complaining about how irritating this woman is or stating reasons to us will not change anything at the yard.
 
Fornicate the Poo Picking! (see Monty Python Penguin sketch)

I would find her attitude intolerable in your circumstances and would try to tell her sweetly just why that is - although it surely doesn't need spelling out to anyone with a shred of human decency.
Who would stress their brood mares out? But it is ok for a human being having a pregnancy where she needs to be careful to put herself and unborn child at risk.. for poo picking??
Put yourself first, op. Tell her you are adopting a rest/harrow approach to your pasture management and that is the way it will be. (if you decide she is worth the hassle).
 
I've not read all the replies, apologies if someone has already said this

First and foremost YOU rent the three box yard from the land owner, therefore YOU have the say in how and what is done.

YOU tell the owners friend that YOU. Decide who poo picks and when.

YOU make up the roster, not the owner of the land.

Once I rented a riding school, including land and was having problems with the owner interfering in the running and management, my solicitor wrote a letter reminding the owner that as tendentious I have a legal right to 'quiet enjoyment' in other words no interference from the owner.

You could remind this third person that though their friend owns the property she has no say in its running.

TBH if you are able to ask this troublesome person to leave without jeopardising your tenency I'd be inclined to give her notice.

Do you all share the one paddock? Could you safely divide the paddock so that she has her own area, then she can be totally responsible for that area.

Look after yourself and I hope you have a safe delivery.
 
blazingsaddles said:
Two horses have two sharers plus owner. If owner can't poo pick then sharers take on the extra @ 2.5 days
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Why? Quantity of poo is dictated by the number of horses, not people!

If there are three horses then each owner picks up after their own horse, one third of the dung! One owner has two horses therefore she is responsible for the collection of two thirds of the dung.

If this owner chooses to subcontract her horses poo collection to others that's her choice and doesn't mean that those people have to collect three quarters of the dung.
 
Before you do/say anything. Have a good nights sleep (if possible) & have a good long think about whether there is really an insoluble problem or whether you are just tired & hormonal. Once you have decided the real issue sort it out. A friend going through a difficult pregnancy came very close to selling her horse of a lifetime & and giving up completely - actually got as far as advertising everything. After a lot of talking & a good nights kip realised there was a workable solution to things that seemed impossible the day before
 
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