Am I cruel?

Mazz

Mazz

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Hi all, I've been facing the decision over whether to put my little dartmoor to sleep for a little while now - the vet comes for him tomorrow and I'm having the worst second thoughts imaginable!

I don't doubt the vet's decision for a second but seeing him today having the time of his life and looking so happy absolutely broke my heart. He has cancer of the sheath that has gotten progressively worse (vet thinks cancer may have spread to other areas of the body but not 100%) - you can visibly see two tumours now and the sight of it (he can't fully retract it) is enough to make you gag even though we keep it absolutely pristine. He's put condition on lately but his hips are hollowing, he's even starting to lose patches of fur but I know that could be one of many things. He just seems so happy to still go out for his little hacks and I've never known him to be quite this cuddly and friendly (maybe this is a sign he is started to slow down?). He is in his late thirties at least (poss much older - passport is a load of rubbish) so I don't doubt he's had a lovely long life.

Looking back on what I've wrote I'm pretty sure I already know the answer though I've gotten quite a lot of stick around our yard as to whether he should be left be until he is visibly not himself anymore. I always promised myself I would do everything in my power to protect him from any pain, so I would really appreciate peoples' thoughts on whether I am doing the best thing for him?

Thank you all
 
I think you know your pony best and you love him most. What you say about protecting him from pain is especially relevant here - you are letting him go with dignity before it gets bad rather than waiting until he is suffering just so it is an easier choice for you - to me that shows love and generosity not cruelty.

At the end of the day the vet is the expert and you are the person who loves your pony and cares for him every day - you two make the decision and let the others talk whatever rubbish they like. I hope it all goes as well as possible tomorrow xxx
 
Your post brought tears to my eyes, I really feel for you.

I lost my horse recently and it was fairly quick, I gave one chance after things started to go wrong, the horse improved, then went downhill again. It was the worse day of my life, but I can honestly say once it was done I felt relief that my lovely animal was no longer in pain, and I'd helped in that by setting them free. Sometimes, I wake up and forget that it's all happened and that is the worse thing, but then I remember that things were never going to get any better and I'd stopped any suffering/pain.

You are doing the nicest, kindest thing that you can for him- so much better a month too early than late. Have your last memories of him looking happy today and don't leave the chance that you will leave him longer than needed and then regret it. Do it for him, ignore the people on the yard- you know your horse, the vet confirmed that it is the right time, I can't believe that any horse lover would give you 'stick' about having to make such an awful, but from what you have written, obvious decision. They are obviously insensitive gossips and I'm sure when they are in your position, they will regret treating you like this.

Massive hugs to you and your lovely boy, I'm really sorry but you should be proud that you can do the last, best thing for him whilst he's still got his spirit. xx
 
Thank you all so much for the kind words - I know it sounds silly but after a while the yard bitches (do yards without these people even exist?! They do my head in) make me doubt myself - but I definitely know the stroppy little pony who taught me everything I know better than they do! He is a right little character, the sort that if you turn your back on him you get a swift thump to the back and a pocket search until you pay him attention - I would hate to remember him after he's lost that spark.

I shall go armed with cuddles and treacle sandwiches tomorrow morning - thank you tons x
 
Mazz said:
seeing him today having the time of his life and looking so happy
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let him go like this, that way you can have many happy memories, rather than having to nurse him though his last, which will be much harder for both of you.

you should be getting no c**p off anyone! how can anyone think that it would be better to wait until he is suffering? you are being very caring towards him, and doing what is right by him.

your post brough me to tears, all thoughts are with you
 
I agree better a day too soon than a day too late, we can help animals and prevent them suffering as illness get worse, we can't explain to them why they are suffering like you can a person.

Sending thougts and hugs for tomorrow and hope it is easier than you fear.
 
Mazz said:
Thank you all so much for the kind words - I know it sounds silly but after a while the yard bitches (do yards without these people even exist?! They do my head in) make me doubt myself - but I definitely know the stroppy little pony who taught me everything I know better than they do! He is a right little character, the sort that if you turn your back on him you get a swift thump to the back and a pocket search until you pay him attention - I would hate to remember him after he's lost that spark.

I shall go armed with cuddles and treacle sandwiches tomorrow morning - thank you tons x
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Remember this pony, he sounds fab :) Let him go with his dignity, and don't even grant the idiots with any of your attention tomorrow, spend it with youtr boy x
 
How heartbreaking, I really feel for you. If it was me I would take some comfort knowing he is going out on a high, rather than endless suffering x
 
Having had a dog suffer unimaginably when the vets happily took our money to try and prolong his life (he was only 3 and had cancer), I would say you are absolutely making the right decision. PTS before he starts to suffer. I wish I could turn the clock back.
 
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No you're doing what's best.

Lost my 20 year old cob to this last April. He had one large tumour on his sheath and could not retract and was discharging. He was still bright but not his normal self but no doubt if I'd have got his saddle out he would have done his best- horses have a want to please you. I know I did the right thing for him however hard.

I'm sorry that its a decision you have to make but it's the right one. Your pony will be forever great full that you didn't let them suffer. Hugs x
 
Having had a horse with one huge growth on his sheath I would recommend not leaving it as late as possible. I did and have regretted it ever since x
 
Not at all cruel, & whoever is trying to convince you to keep him going should be ashamed of themselves. Years ago I had a much loved dog pts with cancer, while she was still happy & herself, & full of life, despite the fact it was terminal & fast growing. In the weeks after I kept thinking 'what if' & about the fact I could have still been enjoying her company. But the only alternative is to wait for signs they aren't happy. Years later, I'm consoled by the fact she never knew a days pain, & my last memories are of the dog I loved, not a miserable pitiful one. You really are doing the best, most selfless act possible, letting them go is the opposite end of the spectrum to cruel. Doesn't stop it hurting so much we question ourselves though. So sorry, & thoughts for you both tomorrow xxx.
 
Please take comfort that you are doing the right thinkg. I arranged for the vet to make the final visit to my 33 yr old mare. She had started to colic and went downhill. I rang and said she was down again and knew the weather was going to turn so asked for him to come asap and pts. When he got there she was up and wouldnt be caught. I started to doubt myself and then realised that she would be down again within the hour.
It was so hard and my vet was great but once she was gone I knew I had done the right thing. Hope you can hang in there tomorrow.
 
Littlelegs said:
Not at all cruel, & whoever is trying to convince you to keep him going should be ashamed of themselves. Years ago I had a much loved dog pts with cancer, while she was still happy & herself, & full of life, despite the fact it was terminal & fast growing. In the weeks after I kept thinking 'what if' & about the fact I could have still been enjoying her company. But the only alternative is to wait for signs they aren't happy. Years later, I'm consoled by the fact she never knew a days pain, & my last memories are of the dog I loved, not a miserable pitiful one. You really are doing the best, most selfless act possible, letting them go is the opposite end of the spectrum to cruel. Doesn't stop it hurting so much we question ourselves though. So sorry, & thoughts for you both tomorrow xxx.
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Agree with this. Take a breath and when you remember him it will be from your lovely first post. Don't leave it until when you close your eyes you'll see him in pain and you'll regret it for ever. You are a lovely, caring owner and will be giving him the peace he deserves. xx
 
It sounds as though you have judged it about right to be honest. Better a month too early than a day too late where suffering is concerned. Hard to say from just the info you gave but it sounds as though he's on the turn. My thoughts are with you.
 
The day I had my 34 yr old first pony pts she looked better than she had in a long time and was leading a riot on the yard - awful decision to make, but I look back now and know it was the right one. I remember her looking well and not tired, worn out and miserable and that is the best comfort you can have .

I hope all goes well for you big hugs to you and your man xxx
 
Not cruel at all, you are doing the kindest thing for a pony you clearly cherish dearly. Ignore the yard bitches, they obviously don't have the sense and compassion you do. My thoughts are with you for tomorrow x
 
Not at all cruel i do admire you for making the decision it is not an easy one and it is one that too many people put off for too long.

You know he will get worse so let him go while he is happy and painfree :) thoughts are with you for tomorrow
 
No not at all. If you go on your gut instinct you will be right. I never wanted to find mine down and had PTS whilst I think I caught him before he went downhill literally. They are big animals to find in a pickle so its better to let them go before they really do suffer and the trouble is if we had a crystal ball it would be much easier. It is an awful decision to make but you do care that your horse goes in the best way and you are a caring owner.

Good luck with your decision but it will be the right one but a hard one. Truely hard.
 
It is so natural to have these doubts. Be brave, you are doing the right thing.

I have had 3 old ponies PTS in the last 6 years and went through these same emotions. It is very hard being with them knowing that decision has been made.
The only one I can look back on with happy memories is the one I had PTS before his problems got too bad. Thinking of the other 2 still upsets me as they were in pain and had poor quality of life at the end.

Such a difficult time. I do feel for you.
 
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You sound like the perfect owner and he sounds like the perfect pony and this sounds like the perfect time. Good luck tomorrow, im sure we will all be thinking of you. You are making the absolute right decision to let him go now so be happy and confident that he has someone so wonderful as you looking out for him :)

Bless you and big hugs xxx
 
Oh Mazz, I don't often respond to these types of thread, but I just wanted to say that you are the best owner your lovely pony could ever want and you are doing the right thing for him. Sending you and he lots of love and I really hope tomorrow goes as well as it can. Hold your head up high afterwards - you will have done what too many people shy away from. xx
 
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