:-( Am I doing the right thing?

silvershadow81

silvershadow81

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Ill try and keep this as short as possible.

I currently have two horses at two different yards and a job which means I have to travel 200 miles away and am away two days a week and am starting to feel it all taking its toll.

My grey I have had for 14 years and I am keeping her forever, this summer we had issues with her soundness (shoeing) which has now been resolved and with the soft ground is back in work
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My bay I have had for nearly four months (I got her when my grey was lame, thinking the grey could go into semi retirement). She is 7yo TB, brilliant bloodlines, fab jumb, really cleaver horse who just loves to learn and I am having so much fun riding her and know she is going to make such a great event horse.

I just cannot seem to make ends meet and feel as though i dash from one place to another all the time - then because they are at yards with another horse, I often end up doing these too
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. when i am away i then have to call upon others to do them, and often get told a reel of stories about what the bay has done, which just stresses me out as she is always well behaved when i do her.

The bay has become the leader and herds the other horse at the yard (which he used to do to my grey) and now the other horse will not be in the arena when i am riding as the owner says he backs off her.... it is all becoming so difficult to make work, and feel all the odds are stacked against me.

I have therefore decided to sell the bay mare
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really heartwrenching, but i feel as though i need to try and get some sort of control back in my life!

pointless post, sorry people, just need to write down all my thoughts!
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xx
 
sorry, i should have added that (was trying to keep short!)

I left a livery yard with a friend last year and moved to our own place, we only have space for two horses (we are also moving to live next to the yard in two months), so it would not be fair on friend to move away. (its also nice to have someone at the yard as I work from home the other days and would go stur crazy if i didnt see anyone!) xx
 
I would move them together to part/full livery and stop dong other peoples horses

Is a sharer an option?

If money is tight I too would sell the bay or loan her out
 
Why not wait until you move and then see how you go, as if you move next to one yard, this might makes things much easier and less tiredsome.

I would have a sit down and also try and work out the best rota to fit it all in and continue, such as a sharer? Freelance groom, to take a day or two away from you to relax or whatever really. Just seems a shame to sell, but I am not you.x
 
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I would move them together to part/full livery and stop dong other peoples horses

Is a sharer an option?

If money is tight I too would sell the bay or loan her out

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As said, they cant be together because it wouldnt be fair on my friend.

Livery would be the best option, but then my OH would devorce me as we are about to move to have the horses in the back garden
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I did think about a sharer, but then if something happened to her, they could give me back a broken horse and then i would be in a worse place then now.xx
 
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Why dont you loan her out? And why wont she fit at the yard you rent?

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As said above, I would hate for something to happen to her on loan which then meant i was handed back a broken horse. I know my grey wont go on forever(she is 22 next year), so would hate to be stuck with two horses I couldnt ride. I just think that could be a risky solution?

The yard we have has two stables, arena, tack room and a feed room, we are lucky and have lots of good grazing, but the owners want to keep it good and have said two horses only. xx
 
Can't you make room at the yard you rent without turning your livery out?

If you only have two stables I'm sure that you could work it so that they are out at different times and share the stables or could one live out all the time? Or could you add an extra stable?

You could feed extra haylage to make up for any shortfall in grass and use electric fencing to rest areas to prevent mud becoming an issue.
 
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Why not wait until you move and then see how you go, as if you move next to one yard, this might makes things much easier and less tiredsome.

I would have a sit down and also try and work out the best rota to fit it all in and continue, such as a sharer? Freelance groom, to take a day or two away from you to relax or whatever really. Just seems a shame to sell, but I am not you.x

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This did cross my mind, as then I would only really be driving to one yard a day!

The house we are moving too is requiring loads of work, we are spending evenings and weekends (once all horses are done!) stripping wallpaper and removing the kitchen and bathroom... it just feels as though I have SO much on that I do not have the time to do the bay justice... its a gult feeling which makes me think she deserves better.

I also think i should change my job so that i am not away, as the job changed from what i originally signed up to do (work three miles away!), so with a house move, job move and horses, just feel out of control a bit, and think the bay deserves better so that should be the thing i change first?

Jeeze im waffling sorry!! xx
 
I think you are making the right decision, you may burn yourself out carrying on as you are. Like you say, you need to get yourself back on your feet and more settled, you could always buy another in time if needs be, but I would simplify your life just now, as tough as it is it is the best option right now I think for you *big hugs*
 
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I think you are making the right decision, you may burn yourself out carrying on as you are. Like you say, you need to get yourself back on your feet and more settled, you could always buy another in time if needs be, but I would simplify your life just now, as tough as it is it is the best option right now I think for you *big hugs*

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Thanks hun. I just need to simplify things i think. I also believe that the bay deserves to not be wasted as she is very talented and I would hate to see her next year not getting out and doing a few Intros as she is more than capable, but that requires more time to be spent on her than I have. xx
 
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P.S. MoggyinManolos I love your tagline at the bottom of your siggie.... im feeling that right now!! x

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Thanks, that was courtesy of something posted by JM07 If I remember correctly, she said I could steal it as my siggy
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I think with alot of these posts, and I've done a few of my own in the past, you know deep down that you need to sell her. I went back and forth with Ty and my other TB that I sold last year but you know when you need to sell. If you loan, there's the likelihood that she'll come back so it's probably best to get rid all together.

Sorry you've having to make the decision (I know it sucks) but once you've found her a new home you'll feel like a weight has been lifted!
 
Crikey you have got a lot on. Can you have a chat with the yard owners to see if there's any way you can have a third horse there? It sounds like there's plenty of land and maybe you could build a third stable (at your expense)? If you're good tenants they might be inclined to let you have a third horse there rather than lose you and have you move elsewhere. It's got to be worth a try surely?

If there's no chance of that, I would sell the bay, get everything else out of the way, get your new house looking stunning and sort your job out and then think about getting something else and how you're going to manage keeping two,
 
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