Am i doing the right thing?

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LauraWheeler

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Most of you know about Lucy. My 13.2hh, atleast 20 years old, welsh type pony, who has just about the rarest illness she could poss have.
Anyway several friends have said that i should have had her put down when she was diagnosed. I ignored them and started treating her on the vets advice. She will never recover but i am just trying to keep her stable and happy for as long as poss.
She took a nasty turn the week before last and i thought it may have been the end but with the vets help i got her through it.
Last week one of my friends turned round and said i was crule for keeping her going and it was pointless as i may never be able to ride her again anyway and she has cost me more in the last 6 mounths than i earn.
I just want whats best for Lucy and have done everything my vets have advised. They seem happy for me to carry on although noone knows whats going to happen Lucy is teaching us all about this illness. I spoke to the vet today and she said no horse has ever servived this long after diagnosis.
I'm prity shore i will know when Lucy has had enough and doesn't want to carry on. She is not in pain.
Anyway these comments realy upset me and i can't stop wondering if i'm doing the right thing.
Sorry for my rambling I was just wondering
What would you do faced with a similar dilemer?
 
You have to ignore them. You know her inside out and like you said, when she's ready you will know.

However, if you are asking if you are doing the right thing then maybe you have already made your mind up?

Sorry if that sounds harsh.
 
You know her better than anyone and I think you will know when its time to let her go.
Untill then make the most of her everyday. I have read some of your posts about her and you seem to have a very close bond, dont let others tell you what you should do.
As long as shes not in pain and has a quality of life enjoy her.

I lost my much loved mare last year and still miss her. Its the hardest choice to make but you will know when its time.
 
They always say that you will know when it's the right time...you know your pony better than anyone and I'm sure you will see the signs.
It's hard lose your horsey friend bu part of being a responsible owner is doing the right thing at the right time no matter how hard it is for you.
Keep in touch with your vet and perhaps prepare yourself for the worse but try and enjoy every spare second you have each other.
There is more to owning a horse than riding and if you can afford to keep her as a pet then why not.
She's your baby and although your friends may be right it's not their decision, it's yours and don't let anyone make it for you.
 
Sorry to say it, but your friend does not sound like much of a friend. If you are happy keeping Lucy as a companion that is entirely up to you, horses do not have to be ridden to have a good life. If you are happy spending a lot of money on her vet care, go ahead, it's your money and you can do with it what you like. You know your horse and if you think she is not in pain and has a good quality of life then there is absolutely no reason to think about PTS. When the time comes you will know and make the right decision - your friends should support you!
 
Laura I think your signature goes a long way to answering your question. As everyone else has said, you know Lucy better than anyone after your extraordinary time together and from what I have read in your posts I think that you will know when she has had enough.

You and the vets are the only people who really know the situation, so listen to them and if they start suggesting that the time might have come then you should try to take a step back and re-evaluate Lucy's situation.

Until then, carry on enjoying the time you have with her and don't let other people's comments spoil it for you.
 
Only YOU know Lucy as well as you do ... and therefore only YOU can know when the time is right to let her go.

If she's not in pain and is as happy as can be then that is your decision to keep her going. Even if it is costing you more than you earn - so what? If it makes you happy to do so then do it!

I love reading all of you posts, and you've always come across as absolutely lovely. Even though I don't know you personally I am SURE you will do only the BEST for Lucy.

I have my fingers crossed Lucy will be around for much longer to come .... lots of best wishes to you both ... xxx
 
You will know absolutely for sure when it is time. 2 weeks ago I had my beloved Meg PTS, I had owned her for 16 years, she was an absolute legend, we had so much fun together & I miss her terribly. Last October she was diagnosed with cushings, she rallied & did very well on Pergolide. She was sound & happy & I rode her for the last time just before Christmas, we had a little jumping lesson & it was such fun. I decided to retire her then, on a really good note. She didn't do very well in the snow & cold, then picked up.

About 4 weeks ago she became footy again, & a little slower every day, she began to lose weight slowly & came in from the field each morning & just lay down. My vet came, & we talked it through, & the decision was made.

6 days later, she was PTS, it was very quick, dignified & peaceful, I bought a new mare in March, & I am sure that Meg waited to make sure I was ok with Fleur before it was time to go. She told me she was tired, & I knew it was time. She was never a cuddly pony, usually feisty & full of life, on the last morning she lay down in her stable, I sat with her & she rubbed her head on me & lay her head in my lap, I believe she knew & was telling me it was ok & she was ready.

Be brave & you will have the courage to make the decision when it is time, my thoughts are with you, you will have to be strong, but you will do the right thing when its time.

xxx
 
Thanks guys. I am shore i am doing the right thing but those comments just made me wonder. Lucy has and always will be my top priority and everything is in place when the time comes. Everyone knows my wishes and i'm am always in contact with my vets. Infact they rang me today for an update.
I think i need to stop listening to everyone else and just listen to Lucy. The vets are amazed how i know when something is not right even if she looks ok to them. I just know her so well.

flash1 I'm sorry for your loss.

It's gonna be so hard to let Lucy go when the time comes but i will not let her suffer. That would be the worse thing ever to see her in pain and unhappy.
 
kizzywiz I'm so sorry for your loss, But thanks for sharing i feel abit better that i will know when the time is right. I'm shore Lucy will tell me like Meg told you. It sounds like it was the right time for her to go and you loved her enough to make that desition. I hope i'm as strong as you when the time comes.
 
Laura, never let someone sway your decision, that is yours and yours alone, only you know her and only you can make the choice. Sometimes it stares you in the face, but sometimes it doesnt. stand back and give this a good look. You have earned the decision that ONLY you can make.
 
Hi Laura

The one thing that shines through in all your posts is your love for Lucy and your compassion.

You will absolutely know when Lucy is ready, in the meantime enjoy each other, make every moment count and stay sure of yourself and what you know of Lucy. Brush off anyone that thinks they know better than you. I'd like to bet they don't.

xx
 
You will know when the time is right.

I have made the decision twice in the last 9 months for different reasons, one was because we'd battled with his ill health and he told me he'd have enough, I'd owned River for a long time and still cry over losing him.

Luca had been bought to be my riding horse, but something was never right, we battled for a year and whilst he was young he was clearly unhappy being ridden and difficult to handle when not in work, we decided for his safety, and for others that the kindest thing was to ensure that he would never experience bad things that can happen to horses with issues.

They both let me know it was time, and the decision whilst made for different reasons was the right one, but I didn't let other people influence my decision, whilst many had an opinion on the subject.

You know her best - you will do the right thing by her, its clear from all your posts how much you adore and love her.

Hugs xx
 
LauraWheeler said:
kizzywiz I'm so sorry for your loss, But thanks for sharing i feel abit better that i will know when the time is right. I'm shore Lucy will tell me like Meg told you. It sounds like it was the right time for her to go and you loved her enough to make that desition. I hope i'm as strong as you when the time comes.
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Thanks Laura, if it helps I didn't tell anyone at my yard AT ALL only the YM & her husband for exactly the reasons you mention, I didn't want unsolicited advice from people about what was a very hard & private decision, the only people who knew were my family & a handful of very close friends & of course my kind & trusted vet. The YM told everyone on the Sunday evening, to make sure no one was around when Andrew the vet was coming. I kept funny hours on Monday so I didn't see anyone. I asked a close & trusted friend to hold Meg at the end, & the YM husband who runs the farm was there too.

My vet told me I was very brave, but that it was the right decision, I knew it was the kindest thing, but was so very hard & I had to draw on all my courage, but I was able to because I loved her so much & wanted her to go with a shine on her coat & still a little bit naughty.

Take care, be brave & remember you know your lovely Lucy better than anyone, & it is Lucy & you that matter. Tell people its not up for discussion, end of xxx
 
What a lovely friend you have there :(

Anyone who has read any of your posts will know how much you love Lucy and want the best for her. As long as you know she's not in pain, and the vets want to keep going, then you're doing the right thing.

You'll know when she's ready.

Lots of love (and a little tear) x
 
I had my dear old mare pts last year. She had arthritis that gradually worsened over five years but I always felt I would know when it was time. I ignored the subtle hints from "friends" in the yard but watched her closely, gave her the most tlc it was possible to give and knowing her so well (as you do Lucy) I knew when she was no longer comfortable and it was time. I have no regrets as I knew it was the right decision at the right time for her.
 
Thanks again.

attheponies and Riverboy I'm sorry for your losses to.

It's hard not to listen to what other people say especialy when you want whats best for your pony. I montitor Lucy very closley and keep a diary of how she is, how much food she is eating etc etc...
 
You will know. The 'friend' doesn't.

Stay strong, glad to hear Lucy pulled through.

Hugs hun xxxxx
 
Just ignore them Laura, I think we all know that you would never let Lucy suffer. :) I am dreading when I have to make the decision to have Inca put to sleep but everyone has told me that I'll know when she's lost her spirit. I hope that I will but it does worry me so I understand your situation.

From everything I've read about you and Lucy I am sure that you're making the best decisions for her.
 
Thanks Tennessee

HollyWoozle the good news is she stopped weeing blood on Sat night and she hasn't done it since :) The great news is she ate a big bucket of Suger beet, oats, boild barley, oranges and Bananas tonight. Well all except two small pieces of orange peel :D :D :D
 
Laura, only you know what's best for Lucy, and she will let you know when she feels it is her time. Ignore what everyone else says, and along with your capable vet, I know you'll do anything to make your special pony as comfortable and as happy as she can be!

You are such a kind person, even though you are posting about Lucy's illness you are also offering condolences to to other people, I wish I had known you when i found out Gwen had been PTS, you'd have really helped me through it :o

*hugs!* xxx
 
LauraWheeler said:
HollyWoozle the good news is she stopped weeing blood on Sat night and she hasn't done it since :) The great news is she ate a big bucket of Suger beet, oats, boild barley, oranges and Bananas tonight. Well all except two small pieces of orange peel :D :D :D
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Well there you go then! I'd rather be stuffing my face with sugarbeet and other goodies than have been put to sleep! :D
 
think of it like this.... does she have more good days than bad?

If she is having more good days than bad and improving then ignore them and see how she goes and copes with her treatment.

Or if she is having more bad days than good days it may be time to make a decision.
 
Thankyou thelwell_girl and MrsMozart. The money doesn't worry me (I know it probably should) but my vets are being very good about it and letting me pay a bit each mounth. But if i had to i would find the money somewhere.

Thanks potty_4_piebalds she deff has more good days than bad at the moment. :)
 
Financially you probably made the wrong decision but you definitely mad the right decision for Lucy. The fact that you're prepared to be paying off a vet bill long after she's gone shows how much you love her and you'll know when the time is right. Hugs.
 
Ditto what everyone else has said on here - your posts always bring a tear (or 2) to my eye as it is so obvious you have such a strong bond with Lucy and you care so much about her, it is heart warming to read about. She is so lucky to have an owner like you and hopefully she will keep shining on for a little longer yet! Glad to hear she has stopped weeing blood :)
Big hugs and keep up the good work - you are 1 in a million!
:D
 
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