sassandbells
Well-Known Member
I’ve written this post about 5 times already, but I guess I just want some reassurance that I’m doing what’s best for my mare by deciding to put to sleep.
Bellas a 10 year old thoroughbred, I’ve had her since she was 5 and she’s now 10.
She has severe separation anxiety - to the point I ended up buying 2 additional horses just so I could be sure she’d never be alone (they are a joy to work with and I think the only thing that’s kept me sane over the years!) it doesn’t really help though, she still reacts badly when another horse leaves the yard, even if she doesn’t know them.
She is not an easy keeper & incredibly fragile, has spent more time off with injuries (mostly minor) in the 5 years than she has being able to be ridden.
In the past 2 years her behaviour deteriorated, both under saddle and on the ground. Did the full work up with the vets, she has kissing spine, arthritis in her neck & hocks, SI issues, recurrent ulcers and probably a whole heap of other issues we haven’t explored. Did all the recommended treatments & rehab with no minor improvements. We also had NPA in her feet although we worked on this and seems to be one of the few things I actually managed to fix!
She can be very aggressive toward the other horses, I’m petrified she’s going to kick them one day and seriously injure them. They both always seem on edge around her too.
She’s not easy to handle, the behaviour is unpredictable to a point sometimes she can be tied up fine and others she will panic and do everything she can to get free. She’s bolted a couple of times when I’ve been leading her. She’s not afraid to bite or kick. I won’t let anyone else handle her just in case she injures them.
I have had everyone possible I can out to help her, countless professionals to ride / work with her in hand. Saddle fitter, bit & bridle fitters, chiro, physio, a holistic vet, animal communicator, you name it - I’ve probably tried it and still no improvement.
Last October decided she wasn’t happy schooling, but was quite happy to just go for a short hack around the heath so would just semi retire her and stick to that while she was ok with it. She’s never been easy to ride though and I am constantly on edge about what she might do.. she’s had me & professionals off multiple times and I’ve had quite a few injuries from riding her.
Back in November her insurance ran out and she wasn’t covered for anything so I cancelled and came to the conclusion if anything major happened then that would be it.. but then last Wednesday I notice she was lame trotting in the field. Not super bad, but just not entirely right..
I think over the years I hadn’t realised quite how bad it was until I saw her lame and almost didn’t want to investigate.. when I look at everything she doesn’t seem like a happy horse at all and I think a lot of it has been blinded by how sweet she can be at times.
I’ve had a long chat with my vet and he wouldn’t blame me if I decided to put to sleep, I’ve put so much time, effort and money into trying to get her “right” over the years and things just seem to be getting worse.
I’ve had people suggest I either put her in foal (absolutely not) or send her to a retirement livery, but I couldn’t live with myself if she ended up hurting either another person or anyone else’s horse.
I feel like I could pour thousands of pounds into investigating more things and doing various different treatments but at the end of the day still end up with a horse isn’t comfortable or happy.. don’t get me wrong, there has been some good stuff thrown in there, but not enough to discredit the bad.
I’m just mentally exhausted.. people think it’s a drastic option for what seems like a mild lameness and minor issues, but when I look at her I just don’t think there’s any quality of life there - she’s always on edge even just in the field.
It’s such a tough decision and I almost feel guilty, but even just reading this back I feel like maybe it should’ve been done sooner? I don’t know, I think I’m doing the right thing but any words of wisdom would be much appreciated.
Bellas a 10 year old thoroughbred, I’ve had her since she was 5 and she’s now 10.
She has severe separation anxiety - to the point I ended up buying 2 additional horses just so I could be sure she’d never be alone (they are a joy to work with and I think the only thing that’s kept me sane over the years!) it doesn’t really help though, she still reacts badly when another horse leaves the yard, even if she doesn’t know them.
She is not an easy keeper & incredibly fragile, has spent more time off with injuries (mostly minor) in the 5 years than she has being able to be ridden.
In the past 2 years her behaviour deteriorated, both under saddle and on the ground. Did the full work up with the vets, she has kissing spine, arthritis in her neck & hocks, SI issues, recurrent ulcers and probably a whole heap of other issues we haven’t explored. Did all the recommended treatments & rehab with no minor improvements. We also had NPA in her feet although we worked on this and seems to be one of the few things I actually managed to fix!
She can be very aggressive toward the other horses, I’m petrified she’s going to kick them one day and seriously injure them. They both always seem on edge around her too.
She’s not easy to handle, the behaviour is unpredictable to a point sometimes she can be tied up fine and others she will panic and do everything she can to get free. She’s bolted a couple of times when I’ve been leading her. She’s not afraid to bite or kick. I won’t let anyone else handle her just in case she injures them.
I have had everyone possible I can out to help her, countless professionals to ride / work with her in hand. Saddle fitter, bit & bridle fitters, chiro, physio, a holistic vet, animal communicator, you name it - I’ve probably tried it and still no improvement.
Last October decided she wasn’t happy schooling, but was quite happy to just go for a short hack around the heath so would just semi retire her and stick to that while she was ok with it. She’s never been easy to ride though and I am constantly on edge about what she might do.. she’s had me & professionals off multiple times and I’ve had quite a few injuries from riding her.
Back in November her insurance ran out and she wasn’t covered for anything so I cancelled and came to the conclusion if anything major happened then that would be it.. but then last Wednesday I notice she was lame trotting in the field. Not super bad, but just not entirely right..
I think over the years I hadn’t realised quite how bad it was until I saw her lame and almost didn’t want to investigate.. when I look at everything she doesn’t seem like a happy horse at all and I think a lot of it has been blinded by how sweet she can be at times.
I’ve had a long chat with my vet and he wouldn’t blame me if I decided to put to sleep, I’ve put so much time, effort and money into trying to get her “right” over the years and things just seem to be getting worse.
I’ve had people suggest I either put her in foal (absolutely not) or send her to a retirement livery, but I couldn’t live with myself if she ended up hurting either another person or anyone else’s horse.
I feel like I could pour thousands of pounds into investigating more things and doing various different treatments but at the end of the day still end up with a horse isn’t comfortable or happy.. don’t get me wrong, there has been some good stuff thrown in there, but not enough to discredit the bad.
I’m just mentally exhausted.. people think it’s a drastic option for what seems like a mild lameness and minor issues, but when I look at her I just don’t think there’s any quality of life there - she’s always on edge even just in the field.
It’s such a tough decision and I almost feel guilty, but even just reading this back I feel like maybe it should’ve been done sooner? I don’t know, I think I’m doing the right thing but any words of wisdom would be much appreciated.
