Am I Fair?

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Charmel

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My sister keeps her horse with me on my land. I charge her £78 per month for everthing. Bedding, hay, haylage in field, all mucking out, turn out, rug changes, all feed, insurance, meeting the farrier, vet, exercise, tack and rug cleaning, (limited ridden exercise due to arthritis but still 3-4 days a week) She visits the horse about once every 2-3 months. She has had her 15 years and has done nothing with her since her children were born really. My daughter used to ride her and compete her sometimes. The mare is lovely a dream to own and was completely wasted really.


I do get the money from her for wormers, vet, dentist and shoes (got to be shod regardless if ridden) but she thinks that I shouldn't charge her for anything else. I have an issue getting the money off her every month. This year I have bought her a new rug as hers was ripped and she couldn't go without. Think is I would nt mind so much if she couldn't afford it but she has a lot more spare cash than me. I think £78 a month is very cheap for what she gets.....
 
I think thats very fair indeed

Maybe drop a hint that someone has asked you to take on a full livery for £400 a month and that you are considering it but that someone will have to go.....
 
Show her this thread. It sounds like you are being more than fair. TBH though your sister may not realise just how much things cost nowadays as shes tied up with family and seems to have left the horsey worlds behind. Someone should point out that full livery per month is around £400 to £500 depending onwhere you live.
 
I think your very fair. I think your sister possibly has no idea how much things cost. I have just spent nearly a £100 on wormers, £180 on trimming,god knows what on the vet coming to do routine stuff, and my hay bill last year ran into thousands but to an outsider I've got a few scruffy ponies stood in a field and they must cost nothing to keep. The cost of feed went up so much last year and of course has never come down, perhaps she think stuff only costs the same as 2 years ago.
As its your sister I do not really know the tactful way to do it without creating a family feud,whether you could start with the horse is getting older and needs more up keep and could she set up a small bank account/credit card so you could pay for things and not ask her for they money. My daughters have an emergency credit card on my account which they use, I can see when and where they have spent the money and you can keep the receipts to show her. Its a tough one good luck.
 
WelshD said:
Maybe its worth seeing if she would like to sell the horse or loan it out?
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The horse is now 19 and TBH is only good for light hack. I love her she is part of my little herd I treat her like mine. I did offer my sister money for her years ago when my daughter was competing her but she said she didn't want to sell her even to me. I think she likes the thought of having a horse but nothing else. I will try speaking to her but as she is my sister it is difficult. She thinks that I am making money off her.
 
For what you've listed, minus the insurance and tack / rug cleaning I pay around £450 per month. Insurance is £32 per month on top. I think your sister needs a wake up call! You are a saint for doing this. I'm assuming you have your own horse(s) so the mare fits in with yours so she probably thinks it's ok to free load on you like this. Show her this thread and see how she responds. Otherwise, I'll join the queue of those who want to be your sister!
 
That is very cheap.
Just because she is your sister, doesn't mean she should get it for free.

You should be Frank with her and say if she doesn't want to pay it them move the horse.
She will then realise the true costs of keeping a horse.
 
Charmel said:
The horse is now 19 and TBH is only good for light hack. I love her she is part of my little herd I treat her like mine. I did offer my sister money for her years ago when my daughter was competing her but she said she didn't want to sell her even to me. I think she likes the thought of having a horse but nothing else. I will try speaking to her but as she is my sister it is difficult. She thinks that I am making money off her.
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Has she actually said she thinks you are trying to make a profit ? If so I would be telling her that you are quite hurt by this.

You are charging her £18 per week which is probably not even covering bedding, hay, feed, wormer - never mind a contribution to insurance, grazing, your time, etc.

I would tell her that if she feels that the current arrangement isn't working for her anymore then maybe in order that you don't fall out over it she should make her own arrangements. That you have loved having the pony there and genuinely don't mind looking after it f.o.c. but that you can't afford to pay for the actual cash outgoings
 
cant you tell her you are going on holiday and need to put her on full livery elsewhere for a couple of weeks?
then give her the prices for some local livery yards
If it does nt go to plan you have loads of new sisters now anyways!
 
Firstly ill fight to be your sister :) maybe itermize all you pay out for horse regarding hay feed rugs etc an add up time and then try and sit down with sister to talk. she is getting a good deal just for the care alone esp for peace mind her horse is being welll looked after and loved :)
 
I give my pony's new owner full grass livery for 100 per month. For that she gets food, hay, rent, poo picking, vet and farrier organised but not paid for, wormer while I have it as I bought a job lot, the use of my tack, rugs jumps and everything she had while I was her owner. If she leaves she will have to get her own. I think that is a fair deal as the new owner only has to come and ride. I will give her free lessons too if she asks
 
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here....maybe your sister sees it as you have her horse on full loan? Especially as your daughter used to compete it, and you still ride it; so she probably thinks more of it that you have her horse on loan and she is subsidising it with the money that she pays you.
 
I'd like to be your sister too. Can you give her an itemised bill of how much everything costs? Or if she complains suggest she finds another livery yard?
 
JennBags said:
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here....maybe your sister sees it as you have her horse on full loan? Especially as your daughter used to compete it, and you still ride it; so she probably thinks more of it that you have her horse on loan and she is subsidising it with the money that she pays you.

i agree with this , but even so id like to be your sister too :} lol
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JennBags said:
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here....maybe your sister sees it as you have her horse on full loan? Especially as your daughter used to compete it, and you still ride it; so she probably thinks more of it that you have her horse on loan and she is subsidising it with the money that she pays you.
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Years ago after the buying offer I said about full loan this was before I had my own land and she told me she would never loan her out. Whats more she demands that she is put in certain fields with certain horses and only fed Dodson & Horrell feed and blue chip....I do ignore that though and she goes where the other go and has handful or cubes and some chaff...keeping weight off her is the issue now and has been for the last 2 years since the arthritis as she used to be a whizzy SJ mare now quiet hack around the lane not exactly keeping the weight off but has to be done for her health and well being.. No fun for me either as she thinks she is still young whizzy showjumper deliquent not middleaged semi retired plod with disabilities.
 
dianchi said:
Can I be your sister?????
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I can provide references from my sister that I am the best little sister ever. I have the balance of caring and bullying just right :)

I think what you are charging her is already too fair! You must be a very generous person, not to mention patient.
 
i pay £138 per month and thats for DIY, no feed/hay/bedding etc. i agree that you are already being far to fair with your sister. as it has been sugested, maybe itomize (can't spell) what you actually buy/give her horse then sit and have a chat with her about it. i spend more a week on the essentials then what shes giving you in a month lol
 
You actually just need to sit down and have a frank discussion, so you both know what each other are thinking. Sit down and work out how much it costs you each month to keep that horse (not including your time and labour), and show her. Discuss the fact that you appreciate she may see it as a loan, but you have your own horses, her horse isn't what you yourself would have bought to ride now, and if it were a loan from anyone else you would have sent her back as she isn't what you want. Say that of course you don't mind keeping her there and looking after her for your sister, but you can't afford all the outgoings on a horse you wouldn't have if it weren't hers. Then see what arrangement you can come to. Be frank, don't get accusative or defensive if she does get flustered, and very much go down the route of 'what would you like to do' or 'how do you think we can organise this?'.

Even if your sister does think of her as a loan, if your daughter is no longer riding her, any other loan horse could well have gone back to owner.

ETA I pay £50 a week for full grass livery, not including wormers/shoes/dentist/vet etc and I certainly buy all my own rugs, supplements and balancers, even though my hard feed is included.
 
You don't want to fall out with your sister over a horse. So what Khalwitz says, sit down and talk openly about it. At the moment you both feel hard done by so no one is happy.
 
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