Am i in the Wrong??

jhoward

jhoward

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bit of back ground, i had my 16 mare for loan, had a lady ring came to try she loved the horse, due to horse being a cow, agreed to have her with me for the first month, to get to know her on home turf and to make sure the lady could handle the horse,. As agreed the horse came with everything barring current saddle. (didnt want a new saddle trashed)

so i said i was going to buy her a synthetic, lady said she would be competiing and wanted a leather saddle, i said id give her a couple of hundred towards it, but it would mean we part owned the saddle, she decided to buy her own.

Then i decided to sell the mares current saddle to fund a saddle for my new horse, lady said how much i said im not sure but was thinking 300, lady said she would POSSIBLEY have it, ok i say and no more is said.

i talk to my saddle fitter and ask her the value of saddle, she said more than 300, and that she would pt ex it with a newsaddle for my new horse,.

on monday i start the subject with the lady, but get cut short as lady suddenley says she cant make the yard the following day,.
saddle fitter comes offers me 390 for my saddle (i paid 400 9 months ago) so i take it and get a new saddle for my horse,

yesterday lady comes to ride and i finally tell her that the saddle fitter valued the saddle at 390, and if she wants it thats the price, i apologise for messing her around, but did point out she hadnt paid for it, and id tried to talk to her, but she went off the topic.

ANYWAY, last night husband gets a call on hes fone from ladys boyfiend, she doesnt want the horse as she cant have the saddle, and is upset.

ok fair point, so i leave a message for her, saying that im still willing to get a cheap saddle (under 200).

MY QUESTION...
was i out of order for saying i was selling my saddle but then pt ex it for another saddle for my horse??

i would actually like to sort it out with the lady as although younge (24) she not only can handle the horse but adores her.
 
I would contact her to let her know that I was sorry she was upset, and would still like her to loan the horse. However, I would point out that you are both adults, and if she does go ahead I wouldn't expect any more calls from her husband (to my husband or to me).
This husband ringing up would ring alarm bells for me, I know of too many instances where husbands are used as bullets when people get upset. It's none of his business, and you need to start as you mean to go on in that respect.
 
i agree with the husband thing - he really didnt need to be involved.

I think it is 50 / 50 as i can completly understand you selling the saddle - but i can also see why she would be upset to lose the saddle.

BUT i think it is very childish to say she doesnt want the horse at all just because she didnt get the saddle she wanted.
 
Yes, childish, I wouldn't want a childish sharer. She hadn't committed herself so you were free to do as you wished with your saddle.
 
yes i agree, she needs to come to the yard to get her things, so am hoping we can sort it out, im not to keen on her oh turning up with her, the follwing will make me sound like a bitch..

lady is a spoilt brat, drives a mg, saw a horse box, rang mummy and mummy went and bought it, shes very much what she wants she gets.

i can not afford another 400 for a saddle, and i wont put a decent saddle on loan with a horse as they just end up getting trashed.

i think shes trown her toys out of the pram, as my husband said her boyfriend had he said he was going to buy her a horse, on the message i left for her, i said she is more than welcome to purchase my mare, it had already been discussed, and she wanted to but couldnt afford to.

i do to be honest feel a bit tight, but i dont actually work, so i have to fund the horses myself (normally done with a bit of schooling/teaching, bit of bying and selling etc.) so i simply couldnt afford to lose money on a saddle.
 
your horse, your saddle....i wouldn't be worrying about it if I were you ...you offered to buy her a new saddle which would have been perfectly adequate, if she wanted anything better then she could have bought it herself...

when we had a horse on loan, her saddle was absolutely c***, so we bought a new one knowing that it was our saddle and could sell it if loan ended, I put her own saddle to one side as it belonged to someone else and kept it safely.

Think shes well out of order esp getting OH to speak to you, if she cant discuss a saddle with you, how are you going to go on if theres a difference of opinion about your horse?
 
she was offered the saddle, she didn't say yet, so why throw her toys out of the pram because you decided to sell your saddle, she needs to grow up IMO *rollseyes*

I'd take your horse back too, no questions, her involving her OH is taking the biscuit really, she could've told you herself, she'll either panic and say she does want her, or she'll come back instantly. she's probably hoping you'll buy her a brand new leather saddle so she'll keep her - not that I'm cynical about human nature these days!
 
I can understand why she was miffed, as she lost out, but as others have said, she hadn't committed in any way. Try again to sort it out amicably, but make it clear that her BF joining in just isn't on. It would ring a few alarm bells with me to be honest, but you say that she adores the horse and works well with her. That counts for a lot in my 'umble opinion.
 
Well I was in a similar situation recently I was selling my horse and included various things with him, bridle rugs etc, but not the saddle unless they were willing to purchase extra.

Anyway I told them a price £500 it was brand new 4 monthe prior and cost me £995, they were to think about it and let me know, in between time I had a saddle fitter out for my new horse who said I was mad to let it go for that and with an adjustment it could fit my horse once he has put condition on.

To cut a long story short, I told them the saddle situation had changed, nad they were fine about it, no sulks, no threats to pull out the sale etc.

It would make me very wary of what could happen in the future with this lady,she has reacted in a childish way, if indeed she has, its would seem its only via the BF. I would have a chat with her explaining that the arrangement is purely between her and yourself and nothing for her BF to get involved with.

Just tread carefully, I suspect you could find other loaners who would adore your horse equally without the hassle factor.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
thanks every body, i really did think i was being tight. im not the sort to go back on something,

i have since spoke to her, and it turns out she was keeping the horse at bicton college on diy, but come september was putting her on working livery NO SHE WASNT!!! so thats the end of that.

so any body want a 16hh 8yr mare, proven bsja and dressage record. just needs a firm hand! and some tlc.
 
arrgggg she rang to night. she loves the mare, and wants to try and work with her,. she may buy her and WILL if on loan pay for her own saddle ive said i will give her a lesson tomorrow, then were going sj on sat so she can see her at a show.

her problem is shes to soft, mare needs getting at, your really are better off walkking up to her bopping her on the nose then doind what you want to do.. (i dont mean that liturally but u get the idea, if the horse knows you take no crap ridden or on the ground shes a gem)

i do have somebody that wants to buy her as a back up.

once last chance and all that.

 
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