Am I invisible?

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NeilM

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I believe myself to be a very rare animal, at least at my level of riding and in these parts.

I am male, married in my late 40's and a recent returnee to horse riding, having originally overcome a fear of horses to learn to ride in my 20's.

My wife rides as well and is the instructor of the family, as she has ridden since she was a tot, and is a secondary school teacher. She is also the owner of our two ponies (not big enough to be horses, I am told).

So, to my point: When we are out riding, or when I am out on my own, pedestrians and others (not including the myopic or ignorant car drivers) are able to see me and often stop me for a quick chat. There are also a few other horse riders (all female around here) who seem to occasionally be able to see me, but 99% of the time I appear to be completely invisible, with riders greeting and speaking to my wife and then looking straight through me.

Oh, occasionally I get spoken to, as Harry, the New Forset I ride, is a really pretty little chap and so draws comment (luv him!).

This is NOT a rant, as I a amused by the whole situation, but why am I INVISIBLE???
 
Oh yes, we always say hello and offer a smile.

I must admit I'm not quite as gregarious (loud) as my wife, but she has been riding in the area for many years. However, when I'm out on my own I always say 'hi', which sometimes forces a response but not always.

A friend who used to ride a lot in the same area said he used to get pretty much the same treatment.

Am I intruding into a female preserve perhaps?
 
I think it is because you are considered a mythical creature. A man on a horse who isn't gay. Theirs brains probably can't cope with seeing one so they blank you out.
 
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I think it is because you are considered a mythical creature. A man on a horse who isn't gay. Theirs brains probably can't cope with seeing one so they blank you out.

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LOL!!
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Probably very true!!

See, part of me wonders if they're scared to...because of your wife. As already said, horse riding straight men, in most areas, are like hens teeth! So, to flash a smile and an enthusiastic smile...maybe they're worried your wife will react?? Which might be emphasized if you're giving a much quieter greeting (as if you'd be scared to be louder in case the 'Warden' tells you off!!)

I say this because there have been incidents when I've been out cycling...I don't rate myself as 'attractive' but when out cycling, for practicality, I wear athletic, fitted clothes with some logo or slogan (my fav actually says SMILE)...many the occasion I've smiled at the passing husband and said hello, only to turn to the wife and receive what can only be described as the 'Death Glare'...despite the fact my OH is cycling behind me!!

Just a thought!

All I can say, be a Jolly rider, put your hand up and give them a big, clear greeting!!
 
Oh don't worry my car is normally invisible although I drive everywhere with the headlights on, I am invisible when i get to the bar in a pub, can stand there for hours flashing a tenner and get no response at all. I seem to change to invisible when I ask for something in a shop and the shop assistant has to go away and look for it, they can never find me when they come back even though I have'nt moved. As for riding most people round our way just nod or grunt or ignore other riders!
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Only ever seen one man riding around our way and that's very very occasionally so you are in the minority it seems!
 
I ride out with my daughter, and my husband - people will say hello to me, and usually make a nice comment to my daughter about her pony, but even though my husband smiles, is friendly and polite, he is often completely ignored.
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Luckily he doesnt seem to notice, as he is just learning to ride, and is usually quite busy trying to remember what to do with his heels, and to sort his reins out etc!
I am sure he will be delighted to hear that he is a Hens tooth!
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Ahhh yes DD the gay thing!

A female friend who owns an equine business did tell me that there are only two types of men involved in horse riding, gay and babe magnets. This sounded great to me, as I am deffinately not gay
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Unfortunately there are obviously three types of male rider gay, babe magnet and INVISIBLE .

I don't think that people could possibly be frightened of my wife. She's only a little thing. That said, ever been bitten by a Jack Russell? (I have).

Hmmm, it could well be that they don't like the look of me, or maybe it's just they do not compute a man riding anything less than a 17 hand snorting beast.

Who knows, looks like I'm an invisible, straight, hens tooth. Nice to know your place in the world!

Oh, sorry Somerset: I ride in and around Hutton, near Weston-s-Mare.

PS I don't ride a shiny new American tap (typo first post), but I do ride a New Forest.
 
I can't explain it, it is obviously the part of the country you live in. We are not that that round here. We like to see men riding, and there are a few, not all hunting types either.
 
I'm a bloke and never invisible, apart from all the flourescent stuff I wear I always speak up if not spoken to first, especially the laaaaaadieeeeeesss
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I'm not a babe magnet
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but I aint gay either
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I was brought up in Weston super Mare and my best friend lived in Hutton. Spent many hours riding in that area - Canada Coomb, Windmill Hill. Mind you I am talking 30 odd years ago so it has probably changed a fair bit.
 
it may be that when you with wifey, the girls respect that, you are a no go area and subconsciously woman are avoiding you, id speak to you, but then i speak to anyone..maybe strike up a conversation, but dont ask a question with a dead end, ie yes or no questions, ask things like where do you ride, what they like about that ride..etc.. or ask fav subject ask them about their neds..what sort of things they do with them etc...must be horrible to be blanked, but its probably cos your off limits..lol
 
I suspect the reason is in your first post. Your wife is louder than you. This would generally mean anyone would talk to her rather than you, the quieter one.
 
I'm not sure how much things have changed in Hutton. The locals don't like change...actualy the locals don't give a hoot, it is all the incomers who like to think they live in the heart of a rural community (as opposed to the outskirts of a seaside town) that don't like change. We ride up the coombe and canter along the track out of Christon Plantation towards Windmill Hill on a regular basis, as our field is at the other end of Hutton.

I don't know about this wifey thing, or the chat up thing either.

I'll give an example: Riding back into the vilage yesterday, two (female) riders coming up the hill, we are riding single file due to traffic, and wifey is up front (not always the case). Two riders say 'hello' and exchange a couple of horsey niceties, I smile and am on the point of saying 'hello' when I realise that they are completely oblivious to me, like I'm invisible. This is pretty much how it always happens, even if I am riding in front.

Now I'm not a shy and retiring type, I have been a salesman and negotiator pretty much all my working life, and my days are spent interacting with people, either face to face or on the phone. I am also very good at reading people and body language.

I think it boils down to two explanations; either these women are stunned into silence by a man on a horse (or my boyish good looks) Or...I'm INVISIBLE!
 
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