Am I just a bit controlling?!? *long*

stargirl88

stargirl88

Well-Known Member
Joined
25 June 2010
Messages
1,318
Visit site
Hello! I'd like to know what you folks would do - and whether you think I'm being OTT as I'm so frequently told...

I'm off to a festival in June, so not taking the dog with me obviously.
As I've moved back in with the parents, they're probably assuming they're looking after my dog. I swear I actually lose a couple of hours sleep stressing about this. My dog is frustrated when he is on-lead and sees another dog. If off-lead he will floor it over to them (recall out the window) until he has sniffed. When he plays with a dog it is very 1-sided and he will not be chased - if another dog insists on chasing him he gets *****ty. You get the picture, so he basically needs to be controlled. He is my work in progress, and should add we have come along way, so much better than how he was :o

Problem: My parents do not think he has any problem at all. When they take him out, they will unclip the lead regardless of me telling them to keep it on. They are exactly the same with my sisters dog when we look after her, a fodxhound mix who "disappears out of sight for 10 mins but it's fine because you always know she's going to find you" (this dog has sod all recall anyway). I have house rules with him because of how he was when I got him (such as NO attention when people are eating, NO feeding out the fridge) which they also ignore. They over-feed. They let him up on the couch constantly.

I am A BIT controlling, it all seems absolutely ridiculous and almost teenage when I re-read it to myself. It is only for 3 days but I can't deal with the fact that everything I say is ignored (I've been working on and off with dogs for 6 years, currently studying canine behaviour, and yet they STILL disregard everything I'm saying)

So back to the above Q - Ignore this for just ONE weekend or find a pet sitter to look after him? Does anyone think I'm being controlling in general? I'm always avoiding going out places so I don't have to leave him with them. I have walked back into the house once after forgetting something and my dad was already at the fridge giving him ham. Good god I need to move!

Warned you it was long. Opinions please ;)
 
I would hire a dog walker to take him for the three days. Leave him with parents but insist they don't walk him. What area are you in? Somebody on here may know of someone
 
I would get a pet sitter thats going to follow your instructions personally. Letting a dog off lead when they dont have recall is dangerous for other dogs and your dog. If they dont want to follow your rules then its safer to find someone who will. xxxxxx
 
If you leave him with them, how do you know they won't walk him anyway? And surely the other behaviour eg overfeeding etc may continue?

I don't think you're wrong to ask them to do what you want: training is easily wrecked very quickly. The not letting him off is why I've had no holiday for two years: I cannot leave him with others who may not keep him (and other dogs :o) safe.

I'd be tempted to ask a friend or a dog boarding service to have him. A friend will be paranoid about recall and won't let him off. :)
 
stargirl88 said:
Hello! I'd like to know what you folks would do - and whether you think I'm being OTT as I'm so frequently told...

I'm off to a festival in June, so not taking the dog with me obviously.
As I've moved back in with the parents, they're probably assuming they're looking after my dog. I swear I actually lose a couple of hours sleep stressing about this. My dog is frustrated when he is on-lead and sees another dog. If off-lead he will floor it over to them (recall out the window) until he has sniffed. When he plays with a dog it is very 1-sided and he will not be chased - if another dog insists on chasing him he gets *****ty. You get the picture, so he basically needs to be controlled. He is my work in progress, and should add we have come along way, so much better than how he was :o

Problem: My parents do not think he has any problem at all. When they take him out, they will unclip the lead regardless of me telling them to keep it on. They are exactly the same with my sisters dog when we look after her, a fodxhound mix who "disappears out of sight for 10 mins but it's fine because you always know she's going to find you" (this dog has sod all recall anyway). I have house rules with him because of how he was when I got him (such as NO attention when people are eating, NO feeding out the fridge) which they also ignore. They over-feed. They let him up on the couch constantly.

I am A BIT controlling, it all seems absolutely ridiculous and almost teenage when I re-read it to myself. It is only for 3 days but I can't deal with the fact that everything I say is ignored (I've been working on and off with dogs for 6 years, currently studying canine behaviour, and yet they STILL disregard everything I'm saying)

So back to the above Q - Ignore this for just ONE weekend or find a pet sitter to look after him? Does anyone think I'm being controlling in general? I'm always avoiding going out places so I don't have to leave him with them. I have walked back into the house once after forgetting something and my dad was already at the fridge giving him ham. Good god I need to move!

Warned you it was long. Opinions please ;)
Click to expand...

Not controlling, just sensible. I would lay it on thick - tell them if he is off lead, he could attack another dog which may incur extortionate vet bills and the real chance of a police visit, perhaps relay various horror stories regarding dog on dog attacks and the subsequent consequences. Make it up if you have to, but basically put the frighteners on them.
 
The problem is you are in their house so it's not really up to you to make house rules they are uncomfortable with. As for the vacation-do what you want, but they're probably going to be offended if you don't leave him with thema nd what then happens if next time you have to leave himw ith them?
 
SusieT said:
The problem is you are in their house so it's not really up to you to make house rules they are uncomfortable with. As for the vacation-do what you want, but they're probably going to be offended if you don't leave him with thema nd what then happens if next time you have to leave himw ith them?
Click to expand...

She's not on about house rules :confused: She's saying how she prefers her dog to be treated. I think I'd be horrified if I asked my parents not to let Zak off the lead, they subsequently did, he killed another dog.

It's not as if she's asking them to do anything crazy, just keep him on the lead and not overfeed him, pretty straightforward.

I don't see that this is a case of their house, their rules if the dog (which belongs to her) needs to stay on his lead and have a certain diet. On another forum today, the OP complained that she'd asked her dad to dog sit, packed and labelled their food in correct portions. He then fed them canned rubbish, the dogs were ill all night when she retrieved them. Bit silly, therefore, of her dad.
 
I think it's because you parents probably don't worry about any consiqence as you are their daughter and they don't fear your wrath:D but a dog sitter would as it's their job to make sure the dog and others are safe and definately wont let him off the lead.
With the over feeding well I suppose there is not much you can do there and that bit would not worry me so much as the letting of the lead, it's something you don't want to be stressing about whilst you are away.
Maybe tell them a friend is looking after him and book him in to a pet sitter.
 
Dad was slightly offended when I left Oz with friends when I had a few days away..........he got over it.:)

It was better for Oz if he stayed with friends, so that is what happened.;)
 
This is so like when your mother-in-law babysits the kids and you leave them with her,saying 'Please don't let them do this/eat/that/drink this/watch that and pls make sure they do do this/eat that' etc and as you are *actually* saying the words to her,you can see her glazing over and thinking 'Yeah,yeah,whatever' whilst telling you, 'Its fine,they'll be fine,you go,we'll be ok,won't we?!' And you walk out knowing that nothing you've just said has made a tiny,weeny bit of difference-she'll do what she likes:-/ Yeuch...I hate the surrender of control! However,on serious note,letting them watch stuff on tv that I don't and drink fizzy stuff won't harm them...and being out of control on the lead might for yr pooch...so,I sympathise:) Hope you find a workable solution:)
 
ahhhh cheers folks, since moving back in with them I've been called all sorts of things (I was purely hand-feeding when I first got there, and they made such a fuss about how cruel it was I actually just gave up and stopped)

He's progressed so much I JUST CAN'T DO IT! Pet sitter it is ;) I feel better now (and less controlling!) after reading your replies! Thanks again :D :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top