Am I just being selfish about Sol..?

E

Eira

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 February 2008
Messages
11,782
Location
Emmerdale
Visit site
I feel really bleurgh for feeling like this
frown.gif
And I'm not really sure wether its normal or not
confused.gif
confused.gif


As you all know (and sorry for banging on about it!) that Sol's knackered . The xrays are diabolical and the vets report wasn't great either
I have decided to have her PTS in the near but not immediate future . She's only 5 and is already doped up to the eyeballs . To make it worse she clearly isn't very comfortable behind (even with the drugs)
as the farrier had BIG problems shoeing her on Thursday (he wants her doped next time as he he COULDN'T shoe her at one point
frown.gif
frown.gif
)


I've been thinking about it since we got a diagnosis 2 weeks ago but firmly thought it was the best thing on Thursday (after chatting with Owen again)


I just feel really selfish
frown.gif
I feel like I'm doing this because I can't see another way out and not for her ?
I don't know whether its just going to pass or not
confused.gif
confused.gif
but I really feel selfish , like I'm not giving her a chance
confused.gif



I don't really know where i'm going with this now , Just feel yet again muddled
frown.gif


Everyone on here just seems so strong about these things and I'm a big crumpled mess again
frown.gif
 
I don't think the decision is EVER easy when it is a horse you know and love. It's completely normal that you would feel like this....you know in your heart what's the right thing to do but you love her and don't want to lose her....anyone would feel exactly the same.

Only you know what the right decision is for you and for Sol. It's a horrible thing to be going though. Big hugs xxx
 
The only advice i can give?

at the end of the day do what is best for the horse.



You say that you feel like you are making the decision becuase it seems like the only way out, maybe it is. If the horse is unhappy then maybe its time
 
Hugs hun, I know exactly where you're coming from.

You have already decided on what you're going to do, it's just a question of when. I don't believe they 'tell you' when they're ready - you'll need to find the strength to do it for her.

If you need to chat, drop me a PM.
smile.gif
 
No shoes behind. No need for them especially as they wont help anymore than being barefoot and it clearly hurts her to be shod behind

what ever you decide, decide it for the horse and if it seems like all to much then it probably is.... what more can you do?


I am sorry
 
No way in hell are you being selfish; in all honesty, I think its the best thing you can do for her. It sounds like she's living in constant pain, bless her.

I think you've made a very brave decision and you need to stay strong and go through with it, for her sake.

(((((hugs)))))
 
Not selfish no, you are still digesting what is happening and coming to terms with it...as you say you are muddled! You are so close to Sol Im sure in your heart of hearts you kno what is right for her, I wish I could help by telling you what that is but I dont know your lovely girl in person. I think its perfectly normal to be feeling confused and unsure but I am confident that you know what is right for Sol and will make the right decision whatever that may be. (((((hugs)))))
 
Have you phoned another vet for a second opinion on wether having her pts is best for her, it does sound like she will have no quality of life unfortunately but at least you would of had another vets opinion.
 
AutumnRose - I'm not sure I am doing the right thing ..? What happens if she would happily live out for the next 5 years .. ? And I'm the one to be selfish and cop out
frown.gif


The Farrier - She's not generally unhappy
frown.gif
She's still Sol , I just don't know if the slightest thing I didnt think of before (shoeing for example) I pick up on and panic about
confused.gif


WhiteDaisy - Thankyou
smile.gif


Scotsmare - I really don't want to get to the point where 'she will tell me' I want her to be happy and i'm really struggling to find out what that is
frown.gif


Ziggy101 - Is it not selfish for me not to exhaust every other possibility first ?
frown.gif


Kao -
frown.gif
She's just like she was before , no happier , no worse and that whats muddling me
frown.gif


Temsik - Thankyou
smile.gif
I really feel like i'm not a strong enough person to choose though . I'm scared i'll make the wrong decision ultimately
frown.gif
confused.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Have you phoned another vet for a second opinion on wether having her pts is best for her, it does sound like she will have no quality of life unfortunately but at least you would of had another vets opinion.

[/ QUOTE ]

Two vets have seen her , two vets have said to give up
Farrier has seen her and thinks i'm nuts for trying .
Wonderful friend has seen her that works with rehabbing horses and wonders why I put myself through it

confused.gif
 
Aw hun. Hugs.

It's cr*p. Your head will be all over the place. I remember it so well - the should I/shoudn't I questions going round over and over again.

I think you are going through the acceptance process. You know what needs to be done, the decision is made; now you need to move onto the next stage and decide the date.

Thoughts and hugs hunny.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Aw hun. Hugs.

It's cr*p. Your head will be all over the place. I remember it so well - the should I/shoudn't I questions going round over and over again.

I think you are going through the acceptance process. You know what needs to be done, the decision is made; now you need to move onto the next stage and decide the date.

Thoughts and hugs hunny.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know
frown.gif
And as much as I want to be able to make a decision , I can't . I'm just not strong ehough .
I'm a mess writing this - thats how pathetic I am
frown.gif
 
I really feel for you. It's one of the hardest decisions to make. Only you know what's best for you and your horse. It's inevitable that you will have doubts about such a big decision. Your head and heart will probably decide different things. You need to think about how comfortable she will be and if she could enjoy life still.
 
ISHY you are not being selfish you are being selfless.
You are doing the best for her not for yourself.
I think you need time to adjust to the idea but if you have reached that decision then you are right.
My only advice having been through almost the same situation is to be prepared for ignorant and silly people to question you and to offer "to give her a home if you don't want her". It is hurtful and still makes me angry after 6 years but please ignore them. Unfortunately there are silly people out there but lots on here who will understand. You asked a while back how you knew when it was time and people told you that you would know. It seems as if you have got there.
I wish I could take your pain away. It is a great responsibility for someone so young but you wil come through this and time does heal.(((HUGS)))x
 
[ QUOTE ]
Can I ask, what exactly did they find in her feet? is it only the feet that is the issue?

[/ QUOTE ]

They found severe navicular disease in both front feet .
The bone scans picked up hot spots in both front nav. bones and xrays showed it clearly .

There is also something wrong with her right hock that is currently undiagnosed ..

Both things mean she is unrideable and will only be fit as a companion . Shes only just turned 5 fwiw
 
It is always easier to be decisive about someone else's horse. I can give the advice to pts, but find it far harder to follow it of course. It has taken me some time to come to the decision to pts one of our old ponies, but once I made the decision it was easier. And yes, I felt bleugh before and still feel bleugh a week on, but I also feel a great relief.

It is also easier as you get older - the first time is definitely the worst. You are still young, yet you are putting her needs first which is showing great maturity.

I always like to feel I have tried every avenue (which you have) and if it's in the horse's interests, then I try to give them a last few months, whether it's the summer for an arthritic one, or the winter and early spring for the laminitics. The way I sometimes look at it, lambs get 12 weeks of life on average, beef cattle less than two years. Horses don't do so badly, in comparison.

Agree with TheFarrier, she doesn't need shoes behind and if her back legs are giving her grief, then standing on one is too much, so just have them taken off next time - back feet cope brilliantly with no shoes.

Just see how she goes - if she improves with the warmer weather, then there is no rush to pts, but if she is still in considerable pain, then you will know you perhaps need to make the decision sooner. Don't let people rush you either way - your horse, you know her best, so your decision. And all of our support
smile.gif
 
((((hugs)))))

You are far from selfish- She is lucky to have an owner as caring as you.

What ever descision you make No one can tell you you are wrong.

((((hugs))))
 
You are defiantly not being selfish!!
and no some off us HHO really aint as strong as we sound....
shocked.gif


What ur facing now is one of the hardest decisions that u will make, So of course u are going to have doubts what ever decision u make.. i speak from experience ... it was about 4 years ago when me and my parents had to make the choice about wether to put my horse(who was suffering from very bad arthritis ) down then and there or to let her enjoy one last summer...
i chose the second option. but only lasted a few months .. it hurt .. but it made me happier to think that her pain was no longer there .. even thou she had gone with it..
Sorry for the essay !!
blush.gif



if u ever want to talk just Pm me.

.xx
 
You are strong enough, you just need time to get things straight in your head, Sol wont think any worse of you for needing time to think and set things straight, she would gladly give you that grace im sure. As you say she is no better or worse than before, its you thats different now because you have a diagnosis and a hard conclusion to ultimately come to. I think if I were you I would speak to your vet tommorrow and ask them their honest opinion: how uncomfortable do they think she is at the moment on her medication and how much more uncomfortable is she likely to be in say, a months time. Then go from there. Dont think too much for now you are upsetting yourself over something that, for tonight atleast, you cant change. Its not a question of being selfish, you clearly are'nt as you are so adament to make the correct decision, you are not allowing yourself to be blinkered and thats the right way to be thinking.
(((((hugs)))))
 
TY
frown.gif


I know in the long run its got to happen , it just seems like its creeped up on my and its happening to fast ..
confused.gif


I am trying to work out if I know who you are BTW
tongue.gif

I am going to join you in being proud to be a VOG'ian
grin.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you still stabling her or is she out 24/7?

[/ QUOTE ]

Out in the day , in at night
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Being stabled at all really wont help her, when is she able to be out 24/7? continuous movement will ease any stiffness (which will be uncomfortable for her) We went the barefoot route and 24/7 Turnout- it took a while but made such a huge difference that shes still enjoying life 2 years later.

grin.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you still stabling her or is she out 24/7?

[/ QUOTE ]

Out in the day , in at night
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Being stabled at all really wont help her, when is she able to be out 24/7? continuous movement will ease any stiffness (which will be uncomfortable for her) We went the barefoot route and 24/7 Turnout- it took a while but made such a huge difference that shes still enjoying life 2 years later.

grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Not until May ..
crazy.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]


I am trying to work out if I know who you are BTW
tongue.gif

I am going to join you in being proud to be a VOG'ian
grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

grin.gif
VOG'ians Rock
grin.gif
tongue.gif


ooo a mystery.. .. i will try and get some photos up on PG next week.. maybe that will help...
tongue.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top