Am i kidding myself - or will I/can I cope.....

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YummyHorses

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Have both horses in a great livery and they are very happy BUT have wanted them home for some time. I have 2 young kids and run my own business which is very demanding - mentally and emotionally at the moment with the recession!

I spend a couple of evenings and a day at the weekend exercising the horses which means I am away from the family so we have decided to sell up and buy a house with land and facilities.

HOWEVER it will mean a massive mortgage (not something I am keen on) and I dont know whether I will be able to cope. With the money I spend on livery I should be able to pay for a bit of help but I am gunna feel really bad if I move the family home and set up again only to find out I simply can not run home, work and horses. I dont mind hard work but I do like most people have my limits.

Any advice? Tips, suggestions? How else do people manage? And do the horses really need to take up all your time?
Can i do it?
 
My mum manages cos she trained a kid (me!) well I am 25 but live very locally still to help with our 2 horses.

I think the temptation when you have them at home is to let them take up all your time if you know what I mean, faff with rugs etc.

In winter we deep litter in week on straw and muck out one day at the weekend. We split the weekday starts so we do early morning- lie in alternately etc.

It does mean if they get sweaty so you want to wait to feed etc you can pop the tea on then go out later. We do (well mum now Ive moved out) a 10pm check, hay, skip in the winter. Mum works very locally so comes home at lunchtime to poo pick field as she likes to get out of office anyway.

Are you going to miss the facilities we have no school but have a flat field which we can just about use bits of throughout the year (just read you are buying facilities too!)- we have 4.5 acres for 2 acres which allows us to graze 24/7 in summer and days in winter and always have a separate area for riding.

Only thing is keeping the land up together can be hard work, we have a real weed issue round the edge of our field in the summer (Dad goes out with brushcutter) if we had less we would be ok but then wouldn't have enough for winter turnout we also get a local guy to roll and harrow, a farmer takes our muck heap away and we pay someone to do small bale hay.
 
I have no experience of this but remember that as your horses are at home you'll be able to fit them in when you have time rather than having to make time to go to a yard.
 
if you have a couple of extra stables you could always rent these out on a diy basis. it will take the pressure off financially and horsey people would im sure be glad to help each other out. it would mean you are not totally on your own. you could all share duties and you will have people to ride out with
 
It sounds like you need to weigh up the pros and cons objectively, and don't let your heart rule your head. I don't want to sound negative, but I'm going to play devils advocate for a minute. I hope you have answers to the queries I'm about to raise, but if you can't, they may be deal breakers.

If you're taking on a bigger mortgage, surely the money you spend on livery will have to go on that rather than help with the horses?

Although you're away from the family 3 days a week for riding now, you will have to spend EVERY DAY doing something with the horses, even if it's just checking them over for 5 minutes and picking their feet out etc if they live out. If they're in this could well be at least an hour twice a day without even riding. Maybe the kids could help with that though and it could be a family thing?

As you say your life is mentally and emotionally draining, could it be that having the horses at livery, where you get away from it all is your escape, your time for yourself. Having them at home could mean that this gets interrupted by shouts of "mum come and help me do this" in a way that they can't do now as you're not there?

You will also have to maintain fences, stables and fields etc, at the moment this is done for you. Have you got the time to be doing things for the horses that don't actually involve the horses?

As I said, I'm not being negative, just playing devil's advocate, but all things to consider. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
 
just thought,

am pretty sure if I asked my mum if she wanted 2 at home with 2 small children even with sharing it with me she would say no.

If she had to do it alone it would be a no brainer.

estimated time taken if its any use:
winter morning: 45 mins, feed, rug, turnout, muck out, prepare 4 haynets, water etc.
winter lunch poo pick and check:20 mins
winter pm: bring in, ride/lunge 1-1.5 hours, rug, feed. If don't exercise can re rug, hoof pick, feed etc in half and hour.
winter 10pm, hay, check, skip stables - 15 mins.

so about 1.5 hours min.

weekend 1 day big muck out and sort muck heap 45 mins- hour in addition to everything else and riding.

Summer:
check in morning, fly rug as appropriate feed supplements: 15 mins
poo pick field: half and hour (more poo in summer!)
evening get in and ride - 2 hours make most of light evenings!, hoof pick, brush, apply lotions and potions.

weekend- same plus do any extra jobs with the fields, maintenance on stables etc etc.

hope that helps just to give some idea
 
Think you must have read my notes! All of your comments are so relevant and on the nail. I just dont know what to do.

I feel so guilty being away from the family when i am with the horses but without the nags i would go mad. Work is very pressured and its my release. I do wonder whether i would just be adding more pressure to my life.

Am I better to buy a village house and just accept they are in livery until i get to a stage in life when i have more time for hte horses. I dont want to resent the horses or my current hobby turn into a major chore.

What I dont think helps at the moment is the livery yard is a hour away so the travelling gets me down as well - plus costly wth petrol.

Thanks everyone for comments.
 
Thanks Ester. Mine dont really live out either - horsewalked twice a day, lunged when not exercised other than that just a couple of hours out otherwise they get bored and get silly. They are very hands on - i wouldnt really be able to get back of a lunch hour as work too far away and too busy so am gunna have to pay for somelse to run them. just wonder whether this is just gunna cost me more than am paying at the moment.

Such a tough decision.
 
I used to keep my horse at livery and then went on to buy a cottage with land so that I could keep my horse at home.

It most certainly is no cheaper keeping them at home as there are so many extras that one has to pay out for and also the time commitment. Holidays means bringing in a house/horse sitter so things can in some respects become more complicated.

The big advantage is that one has complete control of ones horses and can manage them as one wants to.
 
Completely agree with annagain,sadly for you
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everything she said is reality,as nice as it sounds to have them at home and how easy we think it may be,it isnt
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I think you know this which is why you have asked to be sure!
It isnt just the horses it is the twice a day checking..having to be there yourself even if you busy for farrier etc,which could mean couple hrs of work missed,family time?(livery yard few quid and it is done)!
Your life is stressful enough now,it will worsen with maintenance etc etc...at least as OP said at a livery yard it is an escape for you to wind down,and daily duties are their responsibility!
Good luck whatever you decide and i hope it works for you
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x
 
Can you not find somewhere nearer???
I do honestly think with your life as you have described it,if you move them home they will no longer be a hobby and a stress relief
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,everybody needs time away from life as it is,which you have with neds on livery,i would wait till things have settled down,but that is just me,i used to work with horses and hated going to do mine(not quite same level but feelings same),i left working with horses and went into a factory because i would have sold mine to look after every bugger elses
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I have 2 horses at home and manage them great now as I only work 18 hours and don't have any children, however, when i had a demanding full time job that was a different story, turning out at 6am, then mucking out when I got home and riding I was working about 50 hours a week and everything became a chore, the upkeep of the paddocks has to be taken into consideration aswell. The real benefit is not having to travel to them and you do get into your own routine doing things your way at your chosen time....
 
Hate to say it but echo the above. It is a terrible bind and I find myself worrying no one has checked them if we are out all day and a suprise weekend away is a non starter which I know is frustrating for OH!
I don't think that it has really been any cheaper either certainly not in time. I am self employed and i'm affraid its not half as fun as going down to the yard or a break when you are popping outside it tends to get bundled up with household chores sadly.
Major problem I have found is motivation to do allot as there is no one else to get you going and if you are having a bad time it can be very lonely unless OH is horsey too.
On the plus side it is lovely to set my own routine and know exactly what is going on with the horses handling etc and have total control over everything also no bitching and interefering is pleasant after some yards I have been on! I think I would find it hard to go back to livery now so its not all bad but I have no children and its a bind enough not being able to miss a day if your sick or have to go somewhere...
 
well I had four horses at home, a job that was extremely high pressure and I would leave home at 6.45 am and return at 7.30 pm. My horses were never checked at lunchtime as I wasn;t there. But everything else I did. And it is not hard. Yes I had to top paddocks on my days off, I had to school at 5 am or 8pm. I had a school with lights. I had all horses on rubber matting and wood pellet bedding so It took me 40 mins in the morning to muck out turn out and get feed ready for the PM. My horses wear their turn out rugs in the stable so no rug changes at all. I put in hay bars so no nets to fill. I got a poo pick machine to tow behind my quad which took me an hour a week to clear all the poo. I lunged one, hacked one and schooled one every day so one was rested every day. They were turned out every day so a day off was not a problem at all.
I had a fantastic local contractor to spray, hay make and roll my fields. I managed and I wasn't working from home so couldn't pop out in a break and sort them out.

You can do it, and it is much cheaper in the long run as any value you add to your land adds value to your investment, you need to be organised and systematical and it will work out. Also train up the kids and get them to do the work.
 
I want a quad and a poo pick machine..........
and an arena with lights..........

*tottles off to look for good jobs once PhD is finished*
 
We have 3 horses, 2 kids and both of work full time (OH works shifts).

Our horses are kept on DIY about 2 miles away from home. We did have the chance of a small yard within walking distance of the house....practically at home as you would have been able to see the horses from the landing window.

We turned it down, because although the horses are on DIY the YO will do holiday livery and turnout/bring-in for a small fee which really helps us out especially in winter. Also the thought of maintaining the fencing and sorting out the muck-hepa sent me into meltdown so we opted for the easier option.

Coulkd you not move your horses closer to where you live and maybe save time/money that way?
 
TBH I think you need to consider your horses regime - from what you have said they seem quite 'high' maintenance (ie aren't turned out 24/7 and excercised for you, horse walker etc) so how will you manage them at home on your own? If I was you I would be trying to find a nice village house and livery yard closer to it than currently - or move closer to your current yard - as the last thing you will need is a huge mortagage, trying to work through a difficult economic climate (and there is still a way to go before it gets better), 2 horses getting stroppy and difficult because you haven't had time for them, poorly kids etc etc.

If they are in livery their routine can continue - you still get a break and a bit of 'me' time and have the reassurance that their care/routine is dealt with whilst you juggle with everything else.

I'm sorry if its not what you want to hear but you can always bring them home at some point in the future when the children are older, the recession is over and work is less stressful etc etc
 
Hi - a lot of useful comments have been made and as you already have realised there is a lot of pro and cons. I have my 2 horses at home, work 2 days a week (London and at home) and have a 5 yr old and 3 yr old children.

The up side is that I love having my horses at home and they really feel part of the family. Evening meanders to take them a carrot, can check them all the time, adjust rugs, hay, grazing as required, no interference, can fit a quick groom in or ride (if I am lucky) without lots of planning, poo pick whenever I want etc. I love having the freedom to do what I want / when I want and I am really close to my horses. My OH is very unhorsey - can just about fill the water troughs / put hay out and feed but thats it.

But - I have to organise all paddock maintenance, hay, feed, muck heap collecting which can be a pain but at least I can do it as and when needed. Make friends with your local farmer quickly - they are invaluable for much heap collection, hedge / paddock cutting etc.

I have a lovely lady who comes down once a week to use the pony for her daughter and she will help out when we go on holiday. TBH we only ever go away for 1 or 2 weeks a year because we love the space we have at home.

My horses are purposefully low maintenance: field shelter, haybar, live out 24/7 and I have got everything just so - it works for me and my two. They dont have hang ups about when they are fed - anytime between 3pm and 7pm is fine by them. I ride about once a week but thats due to choice as I know that I can not have my family, work committments and a competition horse - this may or may not come later when the children are older. if you are serious rider, like to do everything by the book and want to ride every day, have fit horses and compete then having them at home may not be for you. ( I often will stick my wellies / coat on over my PJs
in the depths of winter to poo pick and though I groom regularly/ hoof pick at least every other day I dont necessarily put headcollars on and tie up. My two are like big dogs and are well used to me pottering in and out and love it - they are incredibly friendly. But I dont get to ride a lot and if the children are ill or other committments take precedence some days the horses are lucky if they see me for 2 minutes whilst I check water, chuck their feeds into the field and add hay if needed!

Either way I never feel they are a chore - I love getting up before the children wake up to do all my horsey jobs and they really are my stress. For me getting in a car on set days of the week at set times would be a chore and I would feel that I would depriving my children during that time and would rely on a bregrudging OH to baby sit. I fit my horses round the children (whilst they are asleep mostly!) and have good baby monitors. We are lucky in the sense that the yard / paddocks are virtually on top of the house and I can see everything from the house and hear / see in to my kitchen from the yard.

I understand the mortgage problem - cant offer any advice but I know livery is expensive and having them at hone makes it much cheaper

It is hard work and requires more commitment when they are at home and more planning (its a constant juggling act what with working late, school / nursery runs, outside schookl activities, friends. other family, running the house etc) but I wouldnt have it anyother way and you have to consider your own lifestyle....
 
Just a thought, could you maybe put them in part livery closer to home for a trial period to see how you cope and to see how you can get the kids involved before you make a decision?
 
Thanks everyone for your responses, so appreciate all the advice.

I am just unsure what to do to be honest. We are going into rented so we have some time to consider our options.

Its just devil and deep blue sea - when i am with the horses i am super relaxed, love them to bits etc but feel sooooo guilty about not being with the family and then when at home feel sad that i am not caring for the nags and its all outsourced.

My two are high maintenance (horses not kids!) and it will be tough and maybe i will need to outsource most of it if they were at home but at least they would be at home.

Oh I dont know - its such a tough one!!!!! I would also like my kids to get into the ponies - they may enjoy as much as me.

Who knows, watch this space i guess......in the meantime if anyone knows of any nice family homes with equestrian facilities on the hampshire/surrey border - have up to about a million to spend, let me know, might solve my problems!!!!!
 
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