Am I mad??.................thinking that horses aint me.............

Would you rather?

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WishfulThinker

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I'm not 100% sure where these thoughts came from, but today suddenly I felt so relieved at not having to go to the yard, and thought how great it was when Beau was on loan. I do enjoy looking after him once I get up there though, I like the grooming, the mucking out and tidying up................just not 100% sure about the riding??!

My younger sister mucked him out for me today, and she rode him last night. Now she has not ridden for almost 15 months, has sciatica and is totally unfit, yet she had him doing leg yeilding, shoulder in etc - without reins!! And was going on about how fab he would be for pirelli as he listens so well
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How come when I ride its like the messages from me to him go round the world once and then get to him. Even when I am told I am doing it right, and I feel relaxed and focused something is missing.

I always knew that I didnt want to be a top calss rider despite my pushy parents, and I am more then happy doing the dirty job. I did want to do BHS stages to be a yard manager, but I didnt want to have to do the riding...........and still dont...............but I admit I do like keeping things in order.

Also Bruce is pushing me to find a sharer for Beau so that I dont have to go up every night as she said he wont get to see me (the man who after 18 months doesnt know ifh e loves me and wont move in with me!)
I'm probably lying if I said that he didnt influence how I thought about this etc. And I seem to have a pattern of this, I have a horse for 2-3 years, then take a few years out, then miss it and start again.

I'm so not sure what to do!! When my sis asked last night if I wanted a ride I chose to continue levelling the banks in the school that get on MY horse! But i still love him to bits and want to take care of him to the best of my ability, and despite being cheeky he has mellowed and grown up this past year and is like a totally different horse.

Should I sell him/loan him out again? I am worried that if I do that life might take over and I will never get back into it! I know that it would be different if I had a way of getting to shows and training events, and jsut generally getting out and about.

Oh I so don't know what to do!
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I think get rid of the boyfriend, sound like he is mucking you around and poss a little posessive. small things like that turn into bigger things later. Then go and have fun on your horse without competing. what about sponsered rides. I think you have too much pressure on you as you were pushed at a young age and have forgotten the enjoyment of it all
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If I could do what I REALLY wanted, moeny allowing, I would be living on some moor somewhere, and just riding out all day, lolloping over the countryside.
I love riding out, but there arent really anything u could class as a bridle way up here.

My sis suggested doing from the ground training for a few months, and hopefully that will spur me on.

The thing is that I do love my bf, and I also love the stuff we do together like going mountin biking, and for super long walks (were talking 30+ miles etc). Although my ideal man in the form of a really gorg professir is at my work on a sabatical from the states..................and if I ever had to describe my 'tpe' he would most deffinately be it! Cute, funny, and SMART!
 
You don't say how old you are but you sound so much like me it's uncanny!

From7 years old, every weekend/holidays was spent up the stables (no horsey or pushy parents for me, just very hard up; if I hadn't worked for rides, I'd never have ridden at all!);left school, worked at the yard and away, then came back home, worked at Sainsburys for a year which I sadly enjoyed but at the end had to get back to horses. Every couple of years I had to have a change of scene; horses were off the menu and boys were on then it would change back again like a yo-yo! As I got older, the less important riding was to me but when I did, I loved it. I'm not competitive, my idea of heaven would be to have access onto the moors/forests/beaches etc where you wouldn't see a soul and could take the dog with you whereas where we are we have very few bridlepaths, it's all roadwork even though they are mainly quiet. This is why breeding suits me so well; still have all to do but no 'need' to ride, almost perfect for me! Since I've been breeding I've never felt like not wanting to have horses which happened many times before so you're not alone with your feelings that you have at the moment.
Why not take a break if you can, don't let the b/f take over completely, keep some time for yourself especially if he can't commit himself as you say and take it from there. I'm almost sure if you're anything like me, you'll come back to it far more positive and enjoy it again. It shouldn't always be a slog, you're meant to enjoy it, even the dreary jobs!
Good luck with your decision.
 
Are you joking? Everyone knows it's always the owner that a horse doesnt listen to!!
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. Of course he went well for someone new. Stick in there.
 
I have to admit that when I frist got Beau and he was a but of trouble I did think 'why didnt I get a mare!' as then I could have bred from her.
I have worked at stud farms before and loved it just looking after the horses- mares and stallions. But unfortunately my financial situation doesnt warrent a change of scene, in the past I have had the luxury of just disappearing off for a few weeks and my parents just knew I would do that.

I wasnt spoilt or anything, and my horses were nothing showy, I was just expected to make the most of it and try as hard as I possibly could. I think my parents just had over the top hopes for us (but then dont all parents??)

I'm going to go for a nice long hack (weather depending) tomorrow and clear my head.
 
i think you would miss him too much if you sell him or loan him. hes a lovely horse. try sharing and if all is not well then put him on loan. you might just be feeling worse as theres not much daylight and its winter
 
I think it's this time of the year,try and get a sharer this I think will help while you get your life it to some order with the OH and so on.......and if you do something to drastic you might regret!!!
 
I think we can all get like this from time to time, more so in winter.
I've been round horses all my life and still wonder if it's all worth it when i'm on a bit of a downer.
Get a sharer for a while and see how you go, if you sell now you may regret it later...
Jo
 
If he were mine I'd sell him. I can't see the point in keeping on paying out for a horse if you aren't really that interested. Better with the money in your back pocket, saving on monthly rents, farriers bills etc. Take time out and go back to horses in a few years if you have the time and the inclination for them.

If you still enjoy doing stable chores then you could help out at stables as and when you feel like it.
 
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I think get rid of the boyfriend, sound like he is mucking you around and poss a little posessive. small things like that turn into bigger things later. Then go and have fun on your horse without competing. what about sponsered rides. I think you have too much pressure on you as you were pushed at a young age and have forgotten the enjoyment of it all
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agree with TT there. but maybe think about a sharer. i got a bit p**d off with the horse world, not the horses. i worked for 7 years and worked for some right bar stewards, so i decided to give up the yard work and find something else. now 5 years on i regret that decision (except having my daughter in that time). now i'd love to have a yard job again. i was managing yards at the top of my career then. now i've forgotten so much and my riding has deteriorated. and now i have a kid i'm not willing to up root her to follow something i gave up through my own choice. maybe u do need time away from ure horse. but it took me 5 years to realise my mistake.
 
Well I went up and saw Beau and had a talk with him (yes I talk to him, he has some good opinions!)
He was really sweet, and really clingy and wants hugs all the time.
Was also nice as my sister had obviously tidied up, and as she had mucked out after everyone else it was still clean when I go there (I do like a nice clean barn
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)

His friend went yesterday and he is now in his stable so I think he deffo knows and is a bit upset - never seen him that quiet.
I asked Bruce if he wanted me to give up horses and was that why he was pushing about the sharer and he said no, it was because he didnt want to see me get tired and miserable and fed up with having no free time, no time to do anything else and that a sharere would be a financial help to.
He said that if I sold Beau I would be even more bored as I woul dhave nothing to do when he is away (that is true - all I seem to do is work and washing
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), and I would complain about bits being saggy/flabby. So I do see his point.

I think it may be the time of year, Bruce being away, work being sucky and I had to work today and was stuck INSIDE all day 9-6pm when it was a fabby day outside, great for a decent ride - and sods law it rains tomorrow. Also over tired, had aroung 20 hours sleep this last week, and also finding it REALY REALLY hard to shift these last 2 stone I need to lose (yes need :P )

Am off to bed now for a good sleep, some nice dreams and to hopefully wake up in a better mood tomorrow and go for a hack(gosh I sound like my mum!)
 
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