Am I over-reacting?

mrsjcmking

mrsjcmking

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So I've just got back from holiday. Whilst away I left my pony (2yr old pain in the ass!) in charge of a friend of mine. I asked her to check on him everyday to make sure his rug/fly mask was still on, leave him in his bit for ten minutes or so (as i've been mouthing him), to wash down his hooves and oil them as they've been cracking whenever she could, to lunge him or walk him out at least once whilst I was away. She said yeah thats fine and she'll make sure it gets done. I left her all his equipment, feed etc.

After picking up his equipment I went down to the yard to lunge him. He had been moved fields (she didn't tell me this) so after I found out where he was I went to catch him. I found him naked (no rug etc) and he walked straight past me to stand by the gate (which is unheard of, usually I have to trek down to bottom of the field and drag him out!). I brought him on to the yard and put on his bridle with bit which was a bit tricky but once on no problem. I picked out, hosed down and scrubbed his hooves, they are worse than ever. I went to groom him and he freaked out about the brushes (a habit which I just got him out of). I then put on his lunging equipment which he again freaked out about, being really skittish. When I walked him down to the round pen he practically dragged me (usually the other way around) and after a good lunging session I brought him back to the yard.

I asked around and no one had seen him being brought out of the field (except when he had been moved). his fly mask has been off at least 5 days, and his eyes are now infected again (after it had just cleared up!). His rug has been off at least 3 days and was taken off because he had managed to get it twisted around him. She has managed to lose one of my feed buckets and the poor thing was obviously starved of attention.

I text her to ask her if she had done anything with him. She said no she just fed him.

He is still looking healthy (apart from hooves and eyes) and he's still in one piece, and it was quite nice to have a pony that doesn't act like a grumpy teenager constantly however right now I am so angry.

If she had just said to me she couldn't lunge/walk him etc, I would have found someone else to do it (plenty of teenage girls on the yard that would love to!) but she said it would be fine. I want to go around and just rip her head off. He's my baby and he's not been looked after the way i would want him to be. By the sounds of things he has been taken out of a field had a bucket of food and put back again - if that! I've no idea if she has even been to see him once.

I feel really let down and really angry. I can't face talking to her because I know i'll end up screaming at her. Am I over-reacting?
 
It sounds like a lesson learnt to me, I would personally not let anyone carry on the training, its confusing enough for the horse, my rule is if you go on holiday, find someone you really trust, who has the same high standards as you, they would be the best person to ask next time.

Either don't go away when you are in the middle of working your horse or get a professional to do it,

as a footnote to your post, Why are you lunging a 2 year old? it is one of the hardest forms of exercise for a horse, especially one growing and changing everyday, every horse/pony needs there childhood, its unfair to take it away from them.

As for your friend, were you paying her? then only pay for feeding, if not, best thing is to talk to her and just explain calmly that you did really need her to do what needed, and that her not doing these things has put the horse back 6 weeks, and that in future you would either prefer someone else to do them or agree that if you, 'holiday' so does your horse.
 
Yes. Totally. I would expect a friend to feed and do any veterinary treatments necessary f i asked them to look after my youngster. However, expect them to lunge, bit, walk out your youngster (even though she agreed) - no I wouldnt. How long were you on holidays? A week or 2 wont send your pony backwards if its only at the basic stage.
I do however think if a pony wears a fly net for medical reasons (eg eye peoblems) then she should have ensured it was on and fitted correctly. That would piss me off - but only if Id made it clear to her that he must have a fly net on as he has eye problems.

Next time pay someone to care for your horse and you may have a little more luck.
 
If you didn't pay her, it's a lot to ask a friend to do, especially as you say he's a 'pain in the ass'. When I go away and friends look after my horse I make sure they do the bare minimum as I know they have enough to do with their own horses.

If you did pay her and she did agree to do all of those things then you have grounds for complaint.

I must agree with Snopuma about the lungeing. It's good to get your 2 year old used to the equipment but it will be a strain on his young legs to actually go round in circles.
Also, I thought oiling hooves was supposed to dry them out even more. If you want to keep moisture in the hooves you should use a water based application like 'Hoof Moist'.

If you value this friendship I think you need to speak to her and get things out in the open.
 
Sounds like quite a neurotic long list of things. Why not just leave your horse out while you were away? Albeit with a rug/mask on as required.
You say he is a pain in the bum, so why expect someone to mess about with him? Being away for two weeks shouldn't upset him training wise and if he is at such a crucial stage you should have just le thim have two weeks off rather than risk him being set back.
 
I once left my horse with a friend while I was away for 3 weeks. I had told her I was happy to pay for full livery for him while I was away, she could ride him if she wanted but otherwise he could have some time off himself. But she insisted, she would love to look after him on DIY and would ride him daily and get him out and about. Fine I thought.

Anyway when I got back it turned out she was going up to the yard, lunging him daily for 40 mins (:-o) and chucking his bed about a but while her kids were locked in her car in the yard carpark!!! Ridiculous! She had been rude to all the other liveries and caused several arguments.

Needless to say, the moral of the story is when you go on holiday pay a professional to do your horse!!!!
 
I havent paid her. I asked her on several occasions if she would be okay to do it all as if not I know others that would. She assured me it was fine and insisted on doing it. she was someone I trusted. In regards to his lunging her has a 20 minute session once a week, which once he's in the pen he loves. I tend to just walk him out on lead rope once a week as well. He lives out so no mucking out.

he just loves attention and hates being left in a field all week. I wouldnt work him if he didnt enjoy it. and every lunge session is followed by games and one to one mummy time.

I just feel let down but have definitely learnt my lesson

ThanksFor tips about hooves I was recommended oil but will switch!
 
Well, as he was looked after for free I'd just chalk this up to experience. I've found it's best to pay a professional horse-sitter if you want to be specific about the care given. Having said that, I'd actually prefer that nobody did any "work" with a youngster as there is so much that can happen to stuff things up. I agree 100% with the comments re the hoof oil, that could be part of the problem. I'd also look closely at the trim he's getting, is the white line stretched? Is any flare being addressed? If not, maybe consider someone new to do the job.
I wouldn't lunge a 2 year old at all, and definitely not for 20 mins a week. Please take that in the kind spirit it's intended, it's just not beneficial for a youngster.
 
Unfortually we learn who
We can trust and not
In a hard way someway or
Another
Isn't there a YO you could
Pay extra so u now
For sure care is
Done propley

With regards to lunging , any lunging of any time can put
Great strain on tendons and muscles on a developing body
Try free schooling instead or long reining
With hoof oil not
Any amount of hoof oil is not
going to cracks
My youngster had his feet trimmed last week usally he has brilliant feet but Due to dry ground has got a couple
Of splits
What was recommend by my
farrier is to stand feet I'n a bucket of water for about 10
Mins the apply hoof oil
 
ischa said:
With regards to lunging , any lunging of any time can put
Great strain on tendons and muscles on a developing body
Try free schooling instead or long reining
With hoof oil not
Any amount of hoof oil is not
going to cracks
My youngster had his feet trimmed last week usally he has brilliant feet but Due to dry ground has got a couple
Of splits
What was recommend by my
farrier is to stand feet I'n a bucket of water for about 10
Mins the apply hoof oil
Click to expand...

I do free lunge him...sorry for confusion, I do about 5 mins on lunge line to get him going and then free school him!

I'll try the stand in a bucket of water trick, however I can't imagine mine standing in a bucket of water of his own free will...he'd probably kick it over and look at it as if to say...this isn't food!

I'm showing him in hand this summer, so the schooling is good for his temperament and it builds up our bond (since i've been schooling him, he has calmed down we don't fight as much!) I don't push him (i've seen people on my yard and outside my yard with yearlings who are "broken in", one guy bought a wild horse and the next day jumped on his back rode him round the yard and said he was broken in, a week later he threw a 10 year old off and ran off, he was sold) I school him because he does not enjoy walking out more than once a week (tried it, eventually he wouldn't do anything with me) He enjoys variety, we play games in the round pen and have one to one time it's not all running around in a circle. He's a youngster so i make it fun for him. If i leave him in a field for a week and then go to see him he's at the gate calling me. he gets bored, unfortunately his field is rubbish and small (nowhere else available atm) so he doesn't get much stimulation.

I know the risks of schooling them at a young age which is why I don't push him. He wont be "broken in" (I hate that phrase) until late next year, at which point he'll then be left for the winter and "broken in" properly at the ripe age of 4!

Sorry if i'm getting defnesive, but trust me i've weighed up the options, and I know my pony, He's well loved and well looked after and I would never do him harm. When I brought him he was a wreck and he's come so far, we've had our arguments but we've found our level ground and he's enjoying life!

Trust me if my pony didn't want to do it you would know. he's good at standing his ground.
 
I do appoligise if i came across funny , i think
Alot of people have replied what i have replied
Free schooling is ao much better for them
I think because you just put lunging alarm bells
Ring I'n peoples brains
Hands up Inc mine
Even try squirting water
On trust me mine is the most girlish horse you could
Meet so i now what it can be like trying to get them to do something they don't want to or don't like
 
It sounds like you're putting a lot of work into your pony and he's very much loved.
I didn't want to preach about the lungeing but I couldn't help commenting on it.
I hope you have fun showing him in the summer.
 
sorry if I got defensive but i've been to hell and back with him and he's my baby so I can get a bit worked up about it!
 
The only thing that I would be annoyed about is him not having his fly mask on if that affected his eyes. Personally, I don't think it is wise to get someone else to work/school a youngster when you aren't around (unless they are a trusted pro) - probably best that she didn't actually do it, as it would be worse if she had done things with him and done it wrong!

I find it interesting that you say he was actually waiting at the gate for you (which he doesn't normally) and that he wasn't acting like 'a grumpy teenager' (which you imply he does normally). So perhaps that meant he actually enjoyed the break from being fussed over all the time. :)
 
TGM said:
I find it interesting that you say he was actually waiting at the gate for you (which he doesn't normally) and that he wasn't acting like 'a grumpy teenager' (which you imply he does normally). So perhaps that meant he actually enjoyed the break from being fussed over all the time. :)
Click to expand...

lol

grumpiness is all smoke and mirrors! we usually have a little silly protest. I call him, he looks up then carrys on eating. I walk until i get about 10 metres away then stop and turn around. He looks up. I walk away. He follows but pretends he doesn't (follows whilst pretending to graze) then we get to the gate at the same time and i turn around and say...oh there you are! then we have a couple of moving the head away when the headcollar comes out. then he puts his nose in and we're away!

He's a very 'special' pony...we have our little routines!

And in answer to other questions...she's schooled him before for me when i've not been well (I suffer from ME) with me watching so I know she can do it and she knows what I expect!
 
Do you do favours for her in return in anyway? Or do you just expect her to do look after/train your pony out of the goodness of her heart?
 
I would be fuming about the rug and mask, but not so much the rest of it.

I would never dream of expecting somebody to train or faff about with my 2yo's feet- no matter how well behaved they are, they're still only 2!!

Good luck in the summer, as others have said, put it down to experience, and maybe don't give someone looking after him such a long list next time, then its more likely to be done
 
I've been riding hers as she has a knee injury and can't ride atm. And I've helped her with long reining and mucking out when I can.

SheDoesnt have a job just the horses.
 
You are over reacting. The only thing i would mention to her is that his eyes are bad because he's not had his fly mask on. Then just don't ask her to look after him again. I think you are expecting too much from people for free, and it sounds as if you take any offer of help for granted : 'I know others that would'.

If you want your pony schooled whilst you are away then pay someone, it's as simple as that.

But i do get the feeling you won't listen to us anyway. No problems if you just wanted a rant at us, but you did phrase it as a question and people are giving honest opinions.
 
Next time I thinkhe can have a week off! I dont think its the fact that she didnt do it but more the fact she said she would but didnt. I didnt ask her to school him she asked me for his equipment so that she could and insisted on it.

NeverAgain! He can have a weeks pampering next time! Sorry if I got stressy...bad timing
 
I've got someone looking after mine as Ive broken my back so understand that it can be frustrating not having them looked after the way you would do it.

I think you've learnt a hard lesson but I do think you are over reacting. It was only short term, so no damage done this time.
 
I think im too protective! I think lack of sleep stress of returning home from holiday and worrying about new job tipped me over the edge! I do feel better after a rant though!
 
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