Am I over reacting

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Dancing_Diva

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I've been a little low and easily annoyed recently due to a situation I'm in so wondered if I am just being over the top here.

A family member rents a field next door to my yard from me. I share my feed room with them and they can bring in tie up on my yard for farrier/vet/tack up etc.. I only have five stables so they are there for them to use in an emergency otherwise there not to be used.

I have my mare and foal stabled at the moment, 90% of my yard is grass. I have concrete outside the stables, rest is grass. So I've electric fenced off a patch of yard so the mare and foal can have a leg stretch whilst I muck out. Now there's a gate into my family members field from my yard, there is also a gate into this field about 20ft up the drive way. Mare and foal was out having a leg stretch like usual when I muck out, family member turns up and walks through mare and foal with feed buckets, pops them down the other side of the fence. Well mare like any horse would leans over fence and grabs a mouthful of feed from a bucket que family member darting back smacks my mare in the neck and shouts at her!!

I didn't say anything as I'd have flipped as was in a foul mood anyway and didn't want to cause a row. However it's really bugged me since but I then think am I over reacting over it? What's done is done, I won't bring it up to them now as it's happened and I should have said something at the time if I was going to. Mare has no doubt been knocked around in the past (she was dumped three weeks ago with her foal and is quiet nervous and very very poor condition). Just made me angry as mare looks so sad and has had a **** life, I just feel bad for her and then my family member hits her :(

I now make sure their in the stables when family member is around and let them out when this person is not there.

This family member has a lot on their plate right now and a lot of stress, hence I think why I never said anything. However still no reason to hit my mare!

Bit of a pointless post but guess I just needed to vent rather then keep thinking about this!
 
She maybe was silly to leave the bucket too close and should not have hit her but I don't think it's worth you getting in a row over.
 
It's not acceptable to hit your horse... I would definitely speak to them very sternly about that and make it clear there will be no hitting the mare! But then I am an emotional person so maybe don't take what I say as advice! Hope you feel better soon x
 
Thank you, I'm also an emotional person so that's why I wondered if I was maybe just over reacting. Think I'll just leave saying anything as was a couple of days ago. But if it happens again I'll def say something.

Just feel so sad for my mare even though I've only had her three weeks. She doesn't deserve to be hit, she's not got a nasty bone in her, even with food she's a softy despite fact she's been starved for god knows how long bless her x
 
Well done for deciding to not ruffle feathers now.. Of course if it happens again then DEFINITELY say something then and there. Don't worry about it anymore, your mare will be fine as she is lucky to have a caring and sensitive owner as yourself. You have all the time in the world to give her love and a happy and comfortable life. This incident will drift away into a distant memory and she will have many happy and joyful days ahead x
 
Dancing_Diva said:
Just feel so sad for my mare even though I've only had her three weeks. She doesn't deserve to be hit, she's not got a nasty bone in her, even with food she's a softy despite fact she's been starved for god knows how long bless her x
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You're not over reacting.

I'd have given her notice to leave I'm afraid.
 
Not acceptable to be hitting your mare, especially when they caused the problem, discretion is fair enough if they have a lot on with problems, but I wouldn't be letting happen regular.
 
This is the first time they've done anything like this so I don't feel asking to leave is required! I generally love sharing my yard with this family member, just guess we've both got things on our plate so something so little made me so angry and she just did it spare of the moment with how she feels right now (her mum recently died, having to deal with selling her house etc so I understand she's in a hard place right now).

I'd def speak up if happened again though.
 
I would speak up now, i.e. before it happens again.

The mare did absolutely nothing wrong, for one thing and coming back just to have a go at her? I'd find that quite worrying and stress is no excuse.

You shouldn't have to keep them stabled to protect them! Just have a word about your boundaries and how you expect your animals to be respected. I wouldn't ask them to leave over it necessarily but I would put my foot down.
 
I would have shouted at the family member immediately and make them very aware that sort of behaviour is not acceptable...there is no excuse for hitting an animal, it may have been different if the mare had tried to bite but even so to walk through an area with a mare and foal in with feed buckets is pretty stupid IMO!!!!
 
having stress does not excuse hitting animals we all have stress. Maybe just mention she might want to watch where she puts the feed buckets as your as on a different feed routine
 
Dancing_Diva said:
This is the first time they've done anything like this so I don't feel asking to leave is required! I generally love sharing my yard with this family member, just guess we've both got things on our plate so something so little made me so angry and she just did it spare of the moment with how she feels right now (her mum recently died, having to deal with selling her house etc so I understand she's in a hard place right now).

I'd def speak up if happened again though.
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I would be annoyed too but agree it's not worth falling out over with a family member - stranger then yes I would have had a word.

Just keep an eye and if it happens again then say something. Better to say it as you see it happening then she can't deny it.

Go give your mare lots of cuddles x
 
Sometimes when we have a lot on our plate we don't act like ourselves. I think the easiest thing would be to just say to your family member that because she is a new mare and has had a hard time lately you would prefer if she didn't walk through the field with them. Not nasty at all just ask, im sure the family member will completely understand. in regards to her hitting the mare, you could maybe just explain that you want her handled a specific way, again it might not happen in the future and could have been a one off.
Is this normal behaviour for your family member? Do they normally handle horses in this way? if they do just say you don't want your horses treated this way, its not nasty your just telling her how you like things done. You never know the family member may be feeling really bad for over reacting.
 
I'd probably say something to her without bringing up the incident. I would just say she seems to be getting happier now she has a nice home and how she will never need to worry about being hit again. Maybe ask her to give her a feed if she is feeding hers.
 
I would just mention it casually. Something like " could you do me a favour, and if you notice the mare being naughty, leave it to me to deal with her. I am working on getting rid of her head shyness, and hopefully get her to relax a bit - If she does anything awful, please let me know though! ".

So you are not directly saying they were wrong to their face, but implying that they should not ever discipline her.
 
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