Am I really being unreasonable?

Let YO kick her off, don't let her out pony in your field. Pony needs re-homing for its own sake, poor thing. I think it's very unfair of your sister to take advantage of you in this way and I'd be very upset with her in your shoes.
 
Sorry it took me so long to reply! Been at work and only just unpacked laptop.

Got a not very good update on the situation today, and will try to address the points that were raised.

Sister came over today and we were sat discussing the horses. I told her that I was getting my farrier to do RB next week, and pony needed to be done at the same time, so she'd need to find the money for it. Okay, says she, ask him to do Seren at the same time. We then discussed the need for the dentist, and again, she agreed and said she'd ring to book something in for next week. I was, at this point, thinking that things were going surprisingly well; it is not the first time I've told her that these things are urgent, but the first time she's agreed to get something sorted. Also having to wonder where she's somehow got the funds to do these next week.

Anyway, spoke about a couple of other relevant things, before she says she and mum have been talking and they were wondering if she could put Seren in with my boys for a few months. Hadn't yet had a spoken confirmation but had dropped some comments to my mum and by her reactions knew that was their plan anyway. Anyway, told her there was no way that was happening, she's not going in with any of my boys but especially not RB. "But I was going to buy an energiser in a few months and tape off a corner", still a no. "it's not your field, not your choice, you don't have the final say". Actually, I think I do. The field agreement is with me and the land owner, and I do believe that she'd check with me before agreeing to anything.

Anyway, apparently she'd wanted to walk her over this evening to the field (before she has to pay livery on the 1st), and because of me she can't afford the farrier or the dentist or even livery, so I'm once again the worst person in the world. She's gone off in a huff to see if she can find a "cheap livery yard with facilities where she doesn't have to pay anything like as much" or "really cheap winter grazing, doesn't really care how big it is but she doesn't want to have to go very often". Also, "YM has made her life a misery and she's so rude and snipey to her and it means she doesn't even want to go to the farm anymore." If pony is still there when farrier comes to do RB, I reckon I'll have them done this time because they are really long now and I'm tired of it.

Have had a talk to YM briefly (hopefully a longer one later) and she's now going to discuss with YO about having notice given to her anyway, so pony will thankfully not be there much longer.

Anyway, to address some of the points.

Pigeon - The RSPCA complaint wasn't for the pony. It was for the horses at the field and was purely malicious because of a guilty conscience. There is a thread on here about it, but the complaints were purely spiteful and the RSPCA had no issues whatsoever. I just think if the pony went to the field as a genuine neglect case then said neighbors would start making trouble for us again.

My field is padlocked and she doesn't have a key. My mum does, in case she has to go in there whilst I'm working and land owner does, but honestly if she puts it in there without my consent, I'm walking the thing to her house and putting it in her garden. I'm not having her dump it on me.

I 'got involved' when her baby was born and it was "could you do Seren for a few days", and that turned into months without asking and just assuming. Seren and RB share a field but go out at opposite ends of the day, so if someone puts the pony out then I have to get it in and give it hay before I can put him out. And it is just more hassle if I leave her, so I've just ended up doing her both ends of the day now, because I can't win either way.

Her pony is on my hay because the farmer only supplies big bales and she wouldn't get through one on her own before it went off. So we had an agreement that it goes onto my bill but she pays me a third. However, I will be asking that she is billed for the hay she uses straight on her invoice now, and to make things simpler it'll probably just be left at half a bale rather than a third. Because she clearly cannot be trusted to pay me back.

She won't sell it, no matter how many times I put it to her. She insists her 5 year old will be heartbroken (to which I point out that he's been flat-out refusing to visit her for months). She said today that they had discussed selling her with him, but he really wants her, he just doesn't want to see her if he can't ride her. IMO, just get riding lessons if he's not interested in bonding with the pony and JUST wants to ride.

I won't defend my mother, either. I think she's as callous and uncaring as my sister, and the only reason she makes a fuss about me doing the pony is so she doesn't have to. She's not interested in the welfare of the pony, just over making sure my sister is able to be her lazy self.

The pony is 4 years old. Sweet enough to handle and -does- have potential to be a nice second pony, I'd say, but I wouldn't say she'd be a good lead-reign pony even with schooling.

Did I miss anything?

Anyway, she's lost all sympathy from me as she then started throwing about insults about me and my boys, and my care of them, so if she thinks she's getting any help looking for somewhere to keep her or finding feed or bedding or anything, she is sadly mistaken. I am very upset and annoyed by the both of them.
 
I don't blame you for being upset with both of them, geez you have been so helpful and patient, far more than I ever could be for a sibling in such a situation.

Good on you for putting your foot down though, clever of your sister to start slinging insults about too.

Best of luck with standing your ground.
 
Wow, some people are just so pig headed! And if you can't afford livery, farrier, dentists, vets fees etc then you shouldn't get a pony in the first place. Especially one that's not ideal. I think you have the patience of a saint to have dealt with them for this long.
And her whole attitude towards the poor pony is just awful. "Doesn't want to have to go very often." Oh, charming. It's a shame your mother is backing her but they seem to suit each other down to the ground tbh...

I think it would be worth getting the ponies feet done, it shouldn't cost much for a trim and it'll at least make the pony a little more comfortable. The fact she can't afford to look after the pony is ridiculous. I could pay for my pony when I first got her aged sixteen all by myself and working 16 hours a week on top of school/college.

I doubt another livery yard would want them on the land...maybe you should warn them. Or even anonymously call WHW or another equine charity, especially if she moves the pony before you can get it's feet done. I'm sure it'll be a welfare case by next month and if she does find a field to graze it on and leaves it over winter...poor thing.
 
You need to report her - unless you are happy for the pony to disappear and be neglected elsewhere? I certainly couldn't have that on my conscience, family or not.
 
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