Am I right to think this is rude?

[webble]

Am surprised that people feel it is ok for small children to approach people they don't know and confront them, where was the parent, I still feel it is odd that they were concerned about a gate being open or shut at their age and while I am not sure they were "rude" I would prefer they were being more adequately supervised in that kind of environment.

^this

 

[SpringArising]

This is one of those times when you really have to dig deep to be offended. Handing you a grip, OP.

 

[WeeLassie]

So- all these very young kids did was come up to you and annoyed you by asking a couple of daft questions? And that annoyed you so much you posted in a public forum?? I wouldnt want to be on a yard with you, you sound a right moaner. Kids will be kids, they werent nicking your stuff, throwing things, or anything really silly-

 

[Crugeran Celt]

Glad you didn't meet my son at that age!! He constantly wanted to know everything about anything. He would stand right by my farrier wanting to know what every tool was for and why he was doing what he was to the horse. Children are curious, it's how they learn to be adults. If they kept asking it would suggest that they didn't understand the answer and the best way to deal with that is to explain it in a way they did understand then they would stop asking. They probably see people arriving and leaving the gate open but you didn't do that so they want to know why. Not rude just curious. I get the impression you do not have much contact with young children, they can get some getting used to. Lol

 

[wills_91]

Am surprised that people feel it is ok for small children to approach people they don't know and confront them, where was the parent, I still feel it is odd that they were concerned about a gate being open or shut at their age and while I am not sure they were "rude" I would prefer they were being more adequately supervised in that kind of environment.

My children are 4 and 6 and have had it drilled into them from a young age that gates are left shut, I imagine they would be concerned about an open gate and probably question it.

 

[honetpot]

I usually find the best way to answer children is to give them a proper well thought out answer like an adult, any sign of bull**** and they smell fear and will wade in a thrash you with verbal trivia. The way to get rid of them is ask them to do something, then they suddenly become interested in something else and wander off.
You need more training as most horses have the mind set of a six year old boy, they are always asking why.

 

[JustKickOn]

Thoughts?

Chill out. You're not there for long by the sounds of things. It's a gate. They asked a question, they're young, that doesn't really sound rude to me.

Mountains and molehills..

 

[JillA]

But how did they know it was you? It does sound as though someone else was making the bullets for them to fire

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Am surprised that people feel it is ok for small children to approach people they don't know and confront them, where was the parent, I still feel it is odd that they were concerned about a gate being open or shut at their age and while I am not sure they were "rude" I would prefer they were being more adequately supervised in that kind of environment.

Indeed. Carparks are not the place for unsupervised children of 4 and 6. The children possibly did not intend to be rude, although the 6 yr old might have, but OP, you are obviously unused to children or you would have simply said, "to keep the horses safe, now you need to go back to the other side of the gate to keep yourselves safe", watched them walk back into the yard and then driven off.


Children are very good at picking up on the things that adults do NOT say and then playing them off against each other.

 

[fankino04]

To be fair I would be annoyed if 2 kids came up to me and started bugging me, parents need to realise that not everyone sees their little darlings the same way they do and should do a better job of supervising them when they are out. OP if you don't like kids just be quite blunt with them in the future and hopefully they will get the message that you aren't interested in them and there is no fun to be had with you, also be thankful that you don't have to keep your horse on a livery yard and deal with it longterm

 

[laura_nash]

I don't think it is rude, and as the parent of a 5 year old they can pick up and question even minor things so the parent could have easily just said something like "oh the gate is shut, the new lady must have closed it". They will also continue to ask why when answered if the answer doesn't make sense to them, "why not" or "because I wanted to" are often good answers in this case! I also don't think there is anything wrong with a child approaching an adult to ask a question, and am happy that mine will do this (much rather that than have her shy and timid).

If the parent was out of sight (and no other adult nearby supervising) with cars and horses around then this is a bit more worrying for the long-term, but you are not staying at the yard long-term.

 

[peaceandquiet1]

The issue here is that two small children approached a stranger in a car park. This is not about kids asking random questions, I have three children and they still as teenagers ask random questions. But I never would have imagined they would approach a stranger in a car even in a familiar place. I think an adult has said something to them about the gate and they have decided to find out. The OP will find out soon enough if the gate is meant to be left open or closed at this yard.

 

[PinkSwoon]

Forget about it BUT don't talk to them again .. erggh!!! I mean why would you, they are kids!!! Next time ignore them and clip them with your wing mirror as you drive out! Awful damn things, errgggggghhh!!!!

Actually OP I suspect the parent said something to the kids about the gate, as i doubt kids of that age would remember or care if a gate was open or shut unless an adult was bothered about it. So i think it is a little odd, but i would not worry about it unless you get any more questions-and yes I am a parent, and no i would not expect my kids at that age to challenge an adult about a gate being open or shut.

Just tell them it's to stop the paedophiles getting in...hehe... I'm sure their mother won't let them out of her site after that...

In defence of OP whilst I wouldn't feel the need to post on here I would be annoyed and find children doing that rude. If it was long term I would look for an adult only yard as children aren't always well supervised at yards OP

Am surprised that people feel it is ok for small children to approach people they don't know and confront them, where was the parent, I still feel it is odd that they were concerned about a gate being open or shut at their age and while I am not sure they were "rude" I would prefer they were being more adequately supervised in that kind of environment.

But how did they know it was you? It does sound as though someone else was making the bullets for them to fire

To be fair I would be annoyed if 2 kids came up to me and started bugging me, parents need to realise that not everyone sees their little darlings the same way they do and should do a better job of supervising them when they are out. OP if you don't like kids just be quite blunt with them in the future and hopefully they will get the message that you aren't interested in them and there is no fun to be had with you, also be thankful that you don't have to keep your horse on a livery yard and deal with it longterm

I've quoted everyone who I seem to be on the same page with.

I'm sorry but knocking on a strangers car window & saying 'why did you close the gate this morning?' is not curiosity, it's bloody rude (not to mention potentially dangerous, I could have been anyone!) & I'd be mortified if my child did that. Definitely got the impression that the mum had said something to them because at that age, I wouldn't have given a rats ar$e about who is opening & shutting gates unless someone had given me a reason to, in fact I probably wouldn't have even noticed. I'm obviously not worried about it, nor do I care but just was shocked that people find that kind of thing acceptable, then again my parents taught me manners & politeness so I guess I wouldn't expect anything less from anyone else. Actually I love kids but not rude ones. I'm all for sweet, inquisitive questions & actively encourage it - it's an important aspect of a childs development but I wouldn't have expected that kind of questioning at all but then if parents are setting that kind of example who's really to blame?

 

[Mongoose11]

I've quoted everyone who I seem to be on the same page with.

Classic

I'm not sure a 4/6 year old child would understand why asking about a gate could be considered rude, nor would they presume that you would be defensive about it either.

 

[PinkSwoon]

Classic

I'm not sure a 4/6 year old child would understand why asking about a gate could be considered rude, nor would they presume that you would be defensive about it either.

I wouldn't ever expect them to. It is a parents job to educate

 

[SpringArising]

I'm sorry but knocking on a strangers car window & saying 'why did you close the gate this morning?' is not curiosity, it's bloody rude (not to mention potentially dangerous, I could have been anyone!) & I'd be mortified if my child did that. I'm obviously not worried about it, nor do I care but just was shocked that people find that kind of thing acceptable, then again my parents taught me manners & politeness so I guess I wouldn't expect anything less from anyone else.

You haven't half written a lot about it and used some strong words for someone who doesn't care!

:rolleyes3:

 

[stormox]

Anyway went to the yard this afternoon for my second visit, just about to leave when two young boys (probably age 4 & 6) are stood outside my car door, I opened it & asked what was the matter.

In your first post you didn't say they 'knocked on the window' .... and they only asked you about the gate when you asked them 'whats the matter'...... so the kids (only 4 and 6 you say- only actually spoke to you after you had spoken to them.
Now you are saying they knocked on your window and said 'why did you close the gate'.
2 different scenarios entirely.

 

[WeeLassie]

[QUOTE -originally posted by PinkSwoon) I'm sorry but knocking on a strangers car window & saying 'why did you close the gate this morning?' is not curiosity, its bloody rude (QUOTE]

You didnt say this in your first post OP, you said they were standing outside the car and you asked them what was the matter!!!

 

[Nudibranch]

4 and 6 years old... really?!
If a parent had set them up to it I'd have expected more from them. I don't think I would ever feel "confronted" by children of that age somehow...

Also, did it ever occur to you that either or both of the children could have special needs of some kind?

 

[Fidgety]

Also, did it ever occur to you that either or both of the children could have special needs of some kind?

All the more reason to be under close supervision in that case, especially at that age . FWIW (and I have three children of my own), I don't agree with children on yards except for under very close supervision, and certainly not feral.

 

[cobgoblin]

Seriously...I can't believe this thread!

When it comes to disliking children I am probably off the scale, but a 4 and 6 yr old asked me about shutting a gate....I wouldn't ever bother thinking about it again, let alone analyse it with regard to their parents, or rudeness, or child safety.

Just be thankful they didn't ask you where babies come from, or what were mummy and daddy were doing last night!

 

[Nudibranch]

All the more reason to be under close supervision in that case, especially at that age . FWIW (and I have three children of my own), I don't agree with children on yards except for under very close supervision, and certainly not feral.

But we don't know they weren't - we only have what is in the post, which has changed, and there must have been parents on the yard somewhere. If the gate was shut and no horses tied up outside their stables then I'd think they were probably pretty safe.

 

[Fidgety]

But we don't know they weren't - we only have what is in the post, which has changed, and there must have been parents on the yard somewhere. If the gate was shut and no horses tied up outside their stables then I'd think they were probably pretty safe.

Exactly . We don't know much about the scenario - how close the parents were, if they were actually keeping an eye on the children, whether the gate was shut, if horses securely tied or even if the children had special needs.

And even if all those boxes were ticked, I still maintain that children of that age should only be on a yard under very close supervision. As I say, I have had three of my own, but no way would I have ever allowed them to wander around a yard or car park unsupervised at that age. Besides which, the yard was my sanctuary. Even if the YO had allowed them, I would have lied just so that I could have had some 'me' time with my boy without my (dearly loved as it happens) children

 

[peaceandquiet1]

Exactly . We don't know much about the scenario - how close the parents were, if they were actually keeping an eye on the children, whether the gate was shut, if horses securely tied or even if the children had special needs.

And even if all those boxes were ticked, I still maintain that children of that age should only be on a yard under very close supervision. As I say, I have had three of my own, but no way would I have ever allowed them to wander around a yard or car park unsupervised at that age. Besides which, the yard was my sanctuary. Even if the YO had allowed them, I would have lied just so that I could have had some 'me' time with my boy without my (dearly loved as it happens) children

Agree with this. Young children like that should be kept an eye on for their own safety.

 

[Mongoose11]

Agree with this. Young children like that should be kept an eye on for their own safety.

Of course young children should be kept an eye on but that's not what the thread is about. The children were unsupervised but are being accused of accosting and confronting and adult rather than asking a fairly simple question. If they were mine then I would be apologising and telling them they were inappropriate to approach the lady but I'd still think she was nuts to have this reaction.

 

[Pedantic]

Am surprised that people feel it is ok for small children to approach people they don't know and confront them, where was the parent, I still feel it is odd that they were concerned about a gate being open or shut at their age and while I am not sure they were "rude" I would prefer they were being more adequately supervised in that kind of environment.

This ^^^^

 

[stormox]

But the children didnt confront the OP- she says (in her original post) they were standing by her car, and she spoke to them- asked them what was the matter. Then the kids said about the gate!

 

[Luci07]

I am not a parent as I said previously but how on earth were 2 small children deemed to be confrontational? Kids always ask questions, again and again. And give the mum a break, I know from looking after younger nephews that they are slippery little b**gers who can disappear in an instant!

 

[Pedantic]

4 and 6 years old... really?!
If a parent had set them up to it I'd have expected more from them. I don't think I would ever feel "confronted" by children of that age somehow...

Also, did it ever occur to you that either or both of the children could have special needs of some kind?

They could be transgender as well, maybe keep some makeup and makeup tips in your car for any future questions.....

 

[Feival]

PinkSwoon get a bloody life, they where not being rude at all. Perhaps if you don't like children, don't move to this yard, go to one with no children. If anyone had an opinion like this about my nephew, I'd flatten them.