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splashnutti1

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So i have my own little place and i have one lady as a livery, when she moved on she was given a list of rules and contract to sign so all okay there.

I have 2 horses myself and she has a pony and a horse. Problem is she doesnt care for them very well and has no respect for my yard or land, never cleans up after herself etc.

for instance- last weekend horses turned out in the morning but given no hay so i gave them some and told her she must feed them in the field as there is no grass, i left on the friday evening but she still hadnt been to fetch in, saturday morning i turn her horses out, from mess of stables they obviously havent been mucked out friday evening plus wheelbarrow still where i left it so not been used. I text her get no reply so ring, no answer. I leave saturday having been there all day, still not seen her. Sunday morning i get there wheelbarrow again where i left it night before so check stables, absolute filth! not been mucked out again just put back in on dirty beds form friday and saurday night!! obviously i am now angry and again try texting and ringing her! finally get a reply to say she was busy moving furniture so didnt get time to muck out!!! its not the first time she has done it either!! told her not good enough and it is NOT to happen again!!

She constantly tells me she cant afford to feed them, they cost to much etc, she then halved her hours at work (her choice) and is now saying she doesnt know how she is going to manage with rent etc!!

Horses havent been shod since october last year cos 'she cant afford it' !

She will only buy 4 bales of hay a week and 2 straw for 2 horses then if she runs out expects my supplier to turn up straight away sometimes wants him to come twice a week, or expects me to lend!! supplier has now said she has to order minimum 20 bales so this has caused up roar cos she '' cant afford it''

She leaves the yard in a mess, hay everwhere and muck. Uses all my tools as ''cant afford her own''

she has had offers to buy her horses but wont sell them!

my new problem is my fields are looking terrible so have removed mine onto hard standing but hers will not stay put on hard standing and keep breaking out costing me a foryune in repairs to fencing ( she wont get electric box) so i have said they will have to stay in and go out every other day to save field. my worry is she will neglect them leaving them on dirty beds!

I have tried helping her, talking to her, being nice, being firm but i am at my wits end now :(

I have 2 horses, work full time 9-5 mon-fri, care for my partner etc and still take care of my horses to a high standard! i am on a budget but manage it well as partner doesnt work duen to his illness.

She works wed morning 8am-2pm, friday 8am-1pm then 6pm-10pm and saturday 8am-2pm she doesnt have any other responsibilties but claims she doesnt have time to care for her horses!!

Would i be wrong to give her an ultimatum to sort it out or move off??? I hate confrontation :( i like her as a person just wish she would look after her horses better :(
 
splashnutti1 said:
So i have my own little place and i have one lady as a livery, when she moved on she was given a list of rules and contract to sign so all okay there.

I have 2 horses myself and she has a pony and a horse. Problem is she doesnt care for them very well and has no respect for my yard or land, never cleans up after herself etc.

for instance- last weekend horses turned out in the morning but given no hay so i gave them some and told her she must feed them in the field as there is no grass, i left on the friday evening but she still hadnt been to fetch in, saturday morning i turn her horses out, from mess of stables they obviously havent been mucked out friday evening plus wheelbarrow still where i left it so not been used. I text her get no reply so ring, no answer. I leave saturday having been there all day, still not seen her. Sunday morning i get there wheelbarrow again where i left it night before so check stables, absolute filth! not been mucked out again just put back in on dirty beds form friday and saurday night!! obviously i am now angry and again try texting and ringing her! finally get a reply to say she was busy moving furniture so didnt get time to muck out!!! its not the first time she has done it either!! told her not good enough and it is NOT to happen again!!

She constantly tells me she cant afford to feed them, they cost to much etc, she then halved her hours at work (her choice) and is now saying she doesnt know how she is going to manage with rent etc!!

Horses havent been shod since october last year cos 'she cant afford it' !

She will only buy 4 bales of hay a week and 2 straw for 2 horses then if she runs out expects my supplier to turn up straight away sometimes wants him to come twice a week, or expects me to lend!! supplier has now said she has to order minimum 20 bales so this has caused up roar cos she '' cant afford it''

she has had offers to buy her horses but wont sell them!

my new problem is my fields are looking terrible so have removed mine onto hard standing but hers will not stay put on hard standing and keep breaking out costing me a foryune in repairs to fencing ( she wont get electric box) so i have said they will have to stay in and go out every other day to save field. my worry is she will neglect them leaving them on dirty beds!

I have tried helping her, talking to her, being nice, being firm but i am at my wits end now :(

I have 2 horses, work full time 9-5 mon-fri, care for my partner etc and still take care of my horses to a high standard!

She works wed morning 8am-2pm, friday 8am-1pm then 6pm-10pm and saturday 8am-2pm she doesnt have any other responsibilties but claims she doesnt have time to care for her horses!!

Would i be wrong to give her an ultimatum to sort it out or move off??? I hate confrontation :( i like her as a person just wish she would look after her horses better :(
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Just give notice and look for someone else.
 
Apart from the mess on the yard which is inexcusable, how do you know she isn't really struggling financially? Perhaps she's struggling to even get to the yard? Obviously that isn't your problem but try and think about it from all angles. If it's not working for you anymore then I'd give her notice, you don't have to have a reason. Hope you get it sorted.
 
Thanks all for confirming that i am not being a meanie asking her to go! my partner says im to soft.

I will always make sure her horses are okay cos cant help myself its not thier fault she is a bad owner but it puts extra work and cost on me and its just getting to much. My life is hectic enough lol ;)
 
splashnutti1 said:
You are right Goldenstar. I just hate the confrontation and atmosphere it creates. i admit im a wuss ;)
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It's a minor bit of unpleasantness there's only confrontation if you allow there to be .don't have a negotiation just serve her notice be pleasant but don't discuss it.
 
Goldenstar said:
Just give notice and look for someone else.
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Why would you not do this? she sounds like a nightmare and having had a 'friend' as a nightmare livery for a while I feel your pain - people like this ruin your enjoymeny of your horses as whenever your at the yard all you see is mess and worry about welfare
unless her livery is critical to you I'd give notice asap - give your fields time to recover then find someone in the spring. If you don't like confrontation perhaps explain that you're really sorry but the fields just can't cope with that many horses - it's not her fault/ nothing she's done just lack of grazing (an easier conversation)
 
Elsiecat said:
Apart from the mess on the yard which is inexcusable, how do you know she isn't really struggling financially? Perhaps she's struggling to even get to the yard? Obviously that isn't your problem but try and think about it from all angles. If it's not working for you anymore then I'd give her notice, you don't have to have a reason. Hope you get it sorted.
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Hi hun i totally get the struggling part as i struggle myself so i am careful to always take this into account :)

Thing is she chose to cut her hours as in her words ''she couldnt be bothered with getting up early''

She lives 5 mins from the yard so no prob getting there. She also informed me the other day that she spends £35 -£40 a week on wine so she wont help herself. I dont know why she has the horses cos to her they are a chore :(
 
That's a shame. Sounds like she might have problems in other areas of her life. But you can't sacrifice being happy at the yard for her. I'd give her notice and site grazing as the reason.
 
Just get her out of your life things like that stop you enjoying your horses and it's too expensive in money time and effort too have things detracting from the enjoyment .
People like that suck the life out of you.
 
Polos Mum said:
Why would you not do this? she sounds like a nightmare and having had a 'friend' as a nightmare livery for a while I feel your pain - people like this ruin your enjoymeny of your horses as whenever your at the yard all you see is mess and worry about welfare
unless her livery is critical to you I'd give notice asap - give your fields time to recover then find someone in the spring. If you don't like confrontation perhaps explain that you're really sorry but the fields just can't cope with that many horses - it's not her fault/ nothing she's done just lack of grazing (an easier conversation)
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Thanks. this is exactly how i feel, not enjoying my yard cos of the hassle, my horses are my destress time and at the moment i feel like i have 4 to care fo instead of 2!
her rent does help but i could just about manage without it. Would have to wait till spring to find someone else as her horses have trashed the field and i wouldnt expect anyone else to hae to come onto it at the moment.

Think i will take my partner down for support and give her notice, tell her the fields arent coping xxx
 
Sounds like an easy one to give notice to, not enough grazing for the winter and you would like her to move.

Or be honest and say you are a complete pain and I would like you to leave! :)
 
Compromise - tell her if she doesn't comply with your requests by (date of your choice) she will have to move. Then she knows the score and has a choice - she might even explain her situation to you if she really IS struggling. Then you might be able to negotiate.
Of course, then you have to GET her to move......................... (been there, got the tee shirt, I won't do it any more because I want to ENJOY my horses, not stress the whole time.).
I have managed without, used my spare capacity for rescues but am very lucky, now I have one livery who loves to help out with all my rescues. They are out there - give her the choice, then if she chooses not to comply, get rid and find someone who respects you and yours.
 
splashnutti1 said:
So i have my own little place and i have one lady as a livery, when she moved on she was given a list of rules and contract to sign so all okay there.

I have 2 horses myself and she has a pony and a horse. Problem is she doesnt care for them very well and has no respect for my yard or land, never cleans up after herself etc.

for instance- last weekend horses turned out in the morning but given no hay so i gave them some and told her she must feed them in the field as there is no grass, i left on the friday evening but she still hadnt been to fetch in, saturday morning i turn her horses out, from mess of stables they obviously havent been mucked out friday evening plus wheelbarrow still where i left it so not been used. I text her get no reply so ring, no answer. I leave saturday having been there all day, still not seen her. Sunday morning i get there wheelbarrow again where i left it night before so check stables, absolute filth! not been mucked out again just put back in on dirty beds form friday and saurday night!! obviously i am now angry and again try texting and ringing her! finally get a reply to say she was busy moving furniture so didnt get time to muck out!!! its not the first time she has done it either!! told her not good enough and it is NOT to happen again!!

She constantly tells me she cant afford to feed them, they cost to much etc, she then halved her hours at work (her choice) and is now saying she doesnt know how she is going to manage with rent etc!!

Horses havent been shod since october last year cos 'she cant afford it' !

She will only buy 4 bales of hay a week and 2 straw for 2 horses then if she runs out expects my supplier to turn up straight away sometimes wants him to come twice a week, or expects me to lend!! supplier has now said she has to order minimum 20 bales so this has caused up roar cos she '' cant afford it''

She leaves the yard in a mess, hay everwhere and muck. Uses all my tools as ''cant afford her own''

she has had offers to buy her horses but wont sell them!

my new problem is my fields are looking terrible so have removed mine onto hard standing but hers will not stay put on hard standing and keep breaking out costing me a foryune in repairs to fencing ( she wont get electric box) so i have said they will have to stay in and go out every other day to save field. my worry is she will neglect them leaving them on dirty beds!

I have tried helping her, talking to her, being nice, being firm but i am at my wits end now :(

I have 2 horses, work full time 9-5 mon-fri, care for my partner etc and still take care of my horses to a high standard! i am on a budget but manage it well as partner doesnt work duen to his illness.

She works wed morning 8am-2pm, friday 8am-1pm then 6pm-10pm and saturday 8am-2pm she doesnt have any other responsibilties but claims she doesnt have time to care for her horses!!

Would i be wrong to give her an ultimatum to sort it out or move off??? I hate confrontation :( i like her as a person just wish she would look after her horses better :(
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Have a chat with her,or write a formal letter and tell her you are sorry to have to bring this up but its been going on a while now and the situation is not getting better so its now come to the point it needs addressing as you have overlooked it long enough, tell her you have a a few issues that have come to light, which need addressing and she needs to correct or make good the items which you mention and failure to correct the above will force you to terminate her livery.

She has been with you a while so a formal letter might shake her booty enough to correct the wrongs.

If she does not or argues or excuses then say then sorry this is notice of end of her livery services.
 
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JillA said:
Compromise - tell her if she doesn't comply with your requests by (date of your choice) she will have to move. Then she knows the score and has a choice - she might even explain her situation to you if she really IS struggling. Then you might be able to negotiate.
Of course, then you have to GET her to move......................... (been there, got the tee shirt, I won't do it any more because I want to ENJOY my horses, not stress the whole time.).
I have managed without, used my spare capacity for rescues but am very lucky, now I have one livery who loves to help out with all my rescues. They are out there - give her the choice, then if she chooses not to comply, get rid and find someone who respects you and yours.
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She has had warnings but only helps for a few days!

Maybe if i give her notice it may jump start her into action but how long for is the question?

Thanks everyone for replies and support ir really helps to get it off my chest and get other peoples opinions :) love this forum xx
 
At the end of the day it is your yard your rules and if she can’t be bothered to follow even the basic rules set out by you. It is time the lady was given her marching orders. You are going to be saving a lot of money in not having to shell out all the time for the fencing. With all this wet weather I am not surprised your field are cutting up.

At the end of the day her behaviour is ruining the enjoyment of your own horses. Tell her she has by date X to move. If she sees you as a soft touch she will continue as before. Knowing the soft touch will do her horses. They are hers and her responsibility expecting you to do them is not fair. Hope you are able to get her off the yard ASAP. Then you can go back to enjoying Your own horses. Good Luck
 
give her notice and get rid, if she has had warnings and just gone back to being rubbish before, she will do it again. She just sounds rude and like she is using you.
 
I wouldn't bother having a ' chat ' as I believe there are two sorts of people those who sacrifice everything to give their horses the time and provisions they need ie the committed owner and the other lot who think its acceptable for their animals to be neglected and the bare minimum of food etc. This woman by her own admission prefers to buy wine than feed her animals so that is not a failing lady with issues that is a clear choice.
Get rid would be my advice and then share with someone who cares about their animals.
 
BBH you are describing her exactly right, where as i am of the committed gang !

Thanks everyone for helping me out, you are right i should be enjoying my horses not worrying about hers and cleaning up her mess. I am going to draft a letter tonight, type it up at work tommorrow and give it her saturday.

Will give her notice. May even be able to help her out (and myself in the process to get her gone)as know of a field coming available for rent up the road.

Just feel for the horses xx
 
You sure you want to help her out? Won't you feel bad for stitching up your neighbours when she defaults on the field rent? If she can't afford a proper livery yard then maybe she will sell the horses and they can have a better life with someone else. She sounds like someone with an alcohol problem.
 
splashnutti1 said:
BBH you are describing her exactly right, where as i am of the committed gang !

Thanks everyone for helping me out, you are right i should be enjoying my horses not worrying about hers and cleaning up her mess. I am going to draft a letter tonight, type it up at work tommorrow and give it her saturday.

Will give her notice. May even be able to help her out (and myself in the process to get her gone)as know of a field coming available for rent up the road.

Just feel for the horses xx
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They'll probably be better off out all the time (provided she sorts hay out) if she won't commit to putting them in and out or mucking out properly. At least if they're just up the road you can keep an eye and contact the relevant authorities if necessary. You shouldn't have to, but you obviously care about the poor horses.

Other option (maybe a bit drastic and not the easiest for you) would she sign them over to you and let you find them homes?
 
I'd be straight with her rather than claiming it's grazing. after all if you get another livery to replace her she's likely to find out and realise the grazing thing wasn't true. You could even then have her confronting you asking for an explanation. :(

If you don't like confrontation, put her notice to leave in writing, give it to her in a sealed envelope and walk away. You've already given her warnings, so she has no right to claim she didn't know there was a problem.

The truth is better for her and her horses in the end. She needs to see what her behaviour leads to, and either address it and care for her horses, or sell them.

Horrible situation, I do feel for you.
 
I feel for you as I have been in a similar situation - sometimes you have to get tough - your yard , your rules, tell her politely its not working out & give her a date to be gone
 
I have also been in a similiar situation - I gave the lady a 'second chance' on numerous occasions (mainly for the welfare of the horse), but her presence eventually began to wear me down to the extent I was hiding from her on my own property!

Just give a mnths' notice - you do not have to give a particular reason, I just said to my 'livery' that it wasn't working out and was not open to discussion. Yes it was awkward until she left, but the sense of relief after she had gone was worth it.

I would give the notice verbally, but also back it up in writing.

I now have a lovely livery who has been with me for 3 years. We work as a team, have a similar outlook on the care for our horses, and most importantly, communicate.
 
im sorry for all you going through OP. Not a nice situation at all. You need to give notice and soon. your yard should be a place of happiness not this. BTW a huge hug of support x
 
annagain said:
They'll probably be better off out all the time (provided she sorts hay out) if she won't commit to putting them in and out or mucking out properly. At least if they're just up the road you can keep an eye and contact the relevant authorities if necessary. You shouldn't have to, but you obviously care about the poor horses.

Other option (maybe a bit drastic and not the easiest for you) would she sign them over to you and let you find them homes?
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Hi yes the plan of telling her about the field to let is that i can still keep an eye as i drive past everyday twice a day, i do worry for the horses as they are lovely.

People have offered to buy the horses from her a good friend of mine offered her a really good price for her 14.2 mare but she refused!

Thanks everyone for advice. i have written a letter giving her notice and will tell her verbally and give her letter tommorrow. i just dont feel she will improve and i want to enjoy my yard again xx
 
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