An apology to my yard owner

Honey08

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Sorry, been out most of the afternoon and all evening. Who are we talking about now? The Yo, or the person who had to apologise to the YO, or the person who criticised the person who had to apologise, or the person who said the person who criticised the person who had to apologise was wrong, or the bloody groom, or someone with worms, or a random person who posted a comment on this thread, or someone with bad grammar, or someone else now??? :confused::confused: Are there any new liveries posting their views yet? Is it a big yard? This thread could go on and on!

I won't get a CSI badge - I don't know who we're talking about now, yet alone which yard.
 

Queenbee

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Renvers, you may know the "stars" of the thread, but I should have practically front row seats being on the yard next door !!
Ooops, hope I haven't just extended the thread beyond necessary again !
what are their carpets like and do they have a dyson or a henry... I may be interested in the job:rolleyes:
 

Queenbee

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have just read to the end of the thread... I have to change my mind... the nanny who doesn't know xxxx about horses who is buying a pony for the kids is now my second favourite, this is the absolute bomb:D:D:D

p.s. can we choose the colour of the haynet????
 

mandwhy

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Paaahahaha that job advert is amazing! 'home sick cry babies' they sound like such compassionate people I simply cannot believe they have a high staff turnover and must be inundated with applications from the most highly qualified 'bloody grooms' in warks!
 

Littlelegs

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Do you reckon we've got time to get the plastic playset on sale before xmas? And of course, we can make the film next spring, it will be a box office hit.
 

SnowPhony

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I've been in the midlands since August and that job has been readvertised constantly since I've been here.

Have to confess I saw the job, laughed at the sheer rudeness of it and just thought, Wow, if that's the first impression they want to make I dread to think how delightful they would be to work for!
 

Flame_

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Paaahahaha that job advert is amazing! 'home sick cry babies' they sound like such compassionate people I simply cannot believe they have a high staff turnover and must be inundated with applications from the most highly qualified 'bloody grooms' in warks!
Really? There's one in Camarthenshire that used to say all the same stuff and I just thought, "kick arse, I want to work there!" I'm sure its meant tongue in cheek, but at the same time they're being up front about not wanting people like that, fair play to them.
 

Gingerwitch

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PR here..... now YO and the bloody groom.... livery space seams to have come up.... just wanted to run past the advert in HHO for new liveries...... could do with a few ideas as i really want to SELL what kind of a yard we have here......

Thought we could start off with - no independant mind thinkers allowed - preferably moonies or other cult like people only need apply.

No bedding or feed allowed - yard must be spotless at all times, would prefer horses that like to live in their stables and owners that only do as we say.... and visit once a year to pay in advance.....

bit stuck now - can you help ?
 

Luci07

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You need to add in GW..we are experts, we know what is the best for your horse so no outside help, trainers or opinions wanted! That will bring them in!
 

Cobsndogs

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You may want to change it from liveries to livery, as I think they only ever really manage one livery at a time. This is probably where OP probs started as she doubled the workload and had them all flummoxed. They would have needed to double the amount of bloody grooms and vacuums in situ !
 

Gingerwitch

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Bit more for the ad.... i will finish it later - unless anyone else can.....

Viewing your horse by invitation only - must be RSVP'd at least 2 months prior to date.

Horse poo must be removed from site within the hour..... no excuses.... or pony nappy will be applied at YOUR cost. The MUCK heap is for exceptional circumstances - and you will be charged storage on a poo by poo basis !

Water must be EVIAN Spring.... no other water types allowed ! - and must be purchased from YO between 14.14 and 14.23 on the third monday of each month AT NO OTHER TIME WILL IT BE AVAIALBLE ! @ £3.13 per bottle.
 

Renvers

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Paaahahaha that job advert is amazing! 'home sick cry babies' they sound like such compassionate people I simply cannot believe they have a high staff turnover and must be inundated with applications from the most highly qualified 'bloody grooms' in warks!
we do suffer here with the standard of grooms (apart from the girls at my yard of course :) )as we could never lure Perkins here to work. If only we could get Perkins ... :cool:
 

Gingerwitch

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we do suffer here with the standard of grooms (apart from the girls at my yard of course :) )as we could never lure Perkins here to work. If only we could get Perkins ... :cool:
Ohh yes - good ole Perkins - he would do the beds with a pair of tweasers, and wouldn't he be grateful to pick up every hay seed ----- yes someone must phone Perkins !
 

Renvers

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Ohh yes - good ole Perkins - he would do the beds with a pair of tweasers, and wouldn't he be grateful to pick up every hay seed ----- yes someone must phone Perkins !
Yes... tell him i will do his hoovering :D and that I have a ... Bissell it was Which? recommended don't you know... ;) :p
 
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putasocinit

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Catstew if you need more excitement in your job you could apply to the advert but you have to promise when you go for the interview you dress up as a nanny whilst smoking something funny, and dont forget the smoke signals so the neighbouring livery yard can tell us on HH how its goin.
 
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