an observation

diggerbez

diggerbez

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there are some really horrible people on here. there is also a really cliquey (sp?) atmosphere which is downright unpleasant at times:( . if you are not a popular member posts get ignored or (even worse) people get jumped on for bad spelling (shocker- seriously people get over it :rolleyes:) and get pics and videos of themselves ripped to shreds. this is partly prompted by the bsja123 (or whatever her name is) but is also a general observation formed over a period of time.
there is a direct contrast to some more popular members who post some AWFUL pictures of their riding and their horses or who ask stupid questions etc but they never ever get any negative comments because they are part of the clique.
i realise that this is a reflection of RL and i am not talking about all posters (there are some really nice and genuinely helpful people on here) but there is a really unpleasant core of bullies who speak to people in a totally unnecessary way.
please, please, please, if somebody bugs you put them on UI. its fine to answer questions and to be honest but there really is no need for outright nastiness and lack of constructive criticism. i do wonder if people would say the same in RL if they weren't hiding behind their keyboards. i suspect not ;). i also wonder if some of these so called 'experts' really ride as well as they seem to think they do.... :rolleyes:

rant over :o
 
Your not the first to post something along these lines this weekend, i doubt you'll be the last either, but everyone is entitled to their say pleasant or not, i can't abide fluffy people and if someone is being a muppet they should be told so :p
 
FlorenceBassey said:
Your not the first to post something along these lines this weekend, i doubt you'll be the last either, but everyone is entitled to their say pleasant or not, i can't abide fluffy people and if someone is being a muppet they should be told so :p
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^^ What she said. If you don't like it, then choose a 'fluffy' forum. Yes, some people are more direct than others, but if I see something that endangers a horse's health or someone posts a picture, then they can expect some iffy comments. Not everyone will praise you for a random picture, but H&H has an honest if sometimes OTT reputation.
 
FlorenceBassey said:
Your not the first to post something along these lines this weekend, i doubt you'll be the last either, but everyone is entitled to their say pleasant or not, i can't abide fluffy people and if someone is being a muppet they should be told so :p
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but you have been criticising BSJA123 for her grammar and yet you have a grammar mistake in there. not trying to be inflammatory but just shows that nobody is perfect :rolleyes:

FWIW i can't abide fluffiness either but i figure that if i have nothing nice to say i just keep my mouth shut (generally :rolleyes:) If someone asks for opinions then i will say what i think honestly but if they don't ask then i figure its nothing to do with me. the only exception would be if it were a serious welfare issue- but lets face it, that is very rare on here... (for it to be a SERIOUS- ie RSPCA standard- welfare issue :rolleyes: )
 
cinammontoast said:
^^ What she said. If you don't like it, then choose a 'fluffy' forum. Yes, some people are more direct than others, but if I see something that endangers a horse's health or someone posts a picture, then they can expect some iffy comments. Not everyone will praise you for a random picture, but H&H has an honest if sometimes OTT reputation.
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its more the completely unnecessary comments that i'm on about- not the genuinely trying to be helpful comments that people make. and its also the fact that the popular members of the clique never get any criticism and some of their pictures are bloody awful. if someone dares to criticise someone popular then they get jumped on. its the inconsistency that i don't like- if your face doesn't fit and everything.... :confused:
 
What on earth is "fluffy" about what Diggerbez said!!! Those comments are a good example of what she meant. I quite agree with you DB. I find a lot of the responses to the "uncool" poster's comments worse than "the most evil person on this forum". Whatever is said they are jumped on. As you said, there isn't much sign of any real abuse going on anyway. I actually feel quite sorry for BSJA123. So what if her parents buy her stuff. It clearly sounds like they don't give her much attention to go with it. There are many examples of other teens being "spoilt" for want of a better word, by their parents on here - having BE fees paid, and horses kept while they are at uni, but I say lucky them! A lot of horsey people don't like to see those that they deem worse riders than themselves having a go at something that they don't have the nerve to do, so they rip them to bits. I see it all the time as an instructor. As was said before, think about how you word it! If you simply call people stupid, or muppet, or numpty, of course they're not going to listen to you - you come across as not that clever yourself...
 
I have to say that, as someone quite new to the forums, I do find there is a tendency of "jumping on the bandwagon" where all it takes is one person to let rip and off the crowd toddles along behind them - in some places this would be tantamount to bullying and its not pretty.

I dont mind if someone asks for critic and others give it or if someone points out how something could be done better or differently - as long as its done in the spirit of improving their horse and as long as the person giving the advise appreciates that advise can be taken or left - but to single out one user for their spelling grammer and general character is completely unfair and considering nobody knows the individual in real life, bang out of order. If you dont like what someone posts or you feel the need to sit in judgement of their spelling ability, then avoid their posts. Its been like a classroom of 14 year old girls in here the last few days and its pathetic
 
thanks Honey and Hevs...i was starting to think that i was one of the few rational adults on this forum :o i'm a teacher so possibly more attuned to bullying than a lot of people (endless training courses snore zzzzz) but i honestly don't think that people realise how much damage just making one post can do...i realise that if you post pics and comments etc on a public forum then you are opening yourself up to criticism but i also think that people are usually (not always, but usually) trying to improve themselves and so its really unhelpful when people completely slate their riding or whatever- it would totally destroy me if people made some of the comments about me that some posters have been on the receiving end of... :(
 
As my grandfather always used to say "if you dont have anything nice to say...shut your mouth" lol

Its very easy to be a critic and hand out verbal bashings when one is sat behind a computer screen under cover of relative annonymity - half the stuff posted would never in a million years be spoken face to face.
 
I *generally* steer clear from the heated debates on here, and try not to get sucked in - tbh, its sometimes a bit a fun and I think some members on here take things far too seriously.

I am not one of the cool bunch, and seem to be VERY good at killing threads - so apologies if this one suffers the same fate as the rest....... :D :D :D
 
diggerbez said:
thanks Honey and Hevs...i was starting to think that i was one of the few rational adults on this forum :o i'm a teacher so possibly more attuned to bullying than a lot of people (endless training courses snore zzzzz) but i honestly don't think that people realise how much damage just making one post can do...i realise that if you post pics and comments etc on a public forum then you are opening yourself up to criticism but i also think that people are usually (not always, but usually) trying to improve themselves and so its really unhelpful when people completely slate their riding or whatever- it would totally destroy me if people made some of the comments about me that some posters have been on the receiving end of... :(
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...fly low and slowly under the radar like me....no-one notices you at all;)

I was considering posting a pic of me on the pony(io:rolleyes:) at a show at the weekend but no doubt it would spark off a debate about....

a) my **** riding/position
b) pony squishing
c)any other random bitch-fest depending on the forums menstrual cycle.:D
 
I think picking people up on a few spelling errors is a bit off, but there was a post earlier today that I simply didn't reply to because I couldn't follow it at all because the english was so poor. No attempt at punctuation, no paragraphs and completely jumbled.

Generally though I'll reply to any old rubbish..... which is why I'm on this thread lol! ;)

I don't pay much attention to who is posting, although I am getting pretty fed up of the BSJA123 threads so I'm ignoring them. I can't decide whether the poster is a troll or not but either way the ensuing "debate" gets right on my nerves. I hate it when people bring up a load of stuff from previous posts and get nasty just because a certain person is on the thread. And I said as much the other week about the fumanchu/rosiefronfelen thing.

So lets have some proper interesting debates please!!!!!
 
poppymoo said:
...fly low and slowly under the radar like me....no-one notices you at all;)

I was considering posting a pic of me on the pony(io:rolleyes:) at a show at the weekend but no doubt it would spark off a debate about....

a) my **** riding/position
b) pony squishing
c)any other random bitch-fest depending on the forums menstrual cycle.:D
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Christ don't call it a pony for gods sake that marks you down as fluffy lol

Poppymoo I was actually beginning to wonder if there was a severe shortage of HRT in the UK at the Mo
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I made a comment last week as a cooler asking if it was the weather and was told by one lovely person that "No she found the use of baby talk repugnant whatever the weather" it may well have been repellent I can not remember I was too stunned that anyone could feel this depth of emotion about someone she did not know, talking to their horse that she again did not know,and in all probability never would.

To be honest I am hanging out more and more on the Intelligent horsemanship Forum. Strangely enough there are some very knowledgeable people there as well but for some reason they do not feel the need to be superior and down right unpleasant!
 
I agree diggerbez. I am not particularly fluffy, well maybe I am, if that means not doing something or saying something deliberately nasty, then I am fluffy. I will always stand up for someone being bullied, be it human or animal. I just don't need to make myself feel better or tough or superior by being horrible to people. If you think someone is a muppet, keep it to yourself, why hurt their feelings by saying it. It's not brave, it's not like they can smack you in the chops like they would might do if it was face to face. Probably that's the crux of the matter, they wouldn't dare do it in RL, only brave when hiding behind a computer.

I think if they are doing something wrong with their horse then tell them what you have an issue with and give advice, but being obnoxious and insulting won't make them listen to you.

I also think that treating a 16 year old like BSJA123 so ghastly and criticizing her spelling and grammer etc, just shows people for what they are. Bullies.

I also agree with the clique thing too. They could post about should they put a brown or white numnah on for a hack and they get 40 replies, someone else can post something really interesting and get 2 or 3 answers.
The forum can be brilliant and there is a wealth of experience to be had and many are prepared to share their knowledge without being mean about it.
I tend to pm one of the good ones (maybe that's why she keeps changing her name lol) if i need a bit of help just in case I get slated on here.
 
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Its because horse riders (especially females) are the most b****yist people in the UK. This is because everyone wants their horse to be better or their riding to be the best! Everyone is also an "expert" so everyone crticises everyone even if this critique is incorrect! I have met some of the most two faced horrible people through horse riding and I'm sure this is why.

Maybe there will be a new generation of horseriders who are actually nice and do not have a double agenda! But I do admit there is a lot of bullying in this forums.
 
lol, I know for sure that I'm not in the clique then, as my threads get hardly any replies! (though the ones I do get are muchly appreciated :D)
 
Ha....it starts young.....daughter ( petite aged 7) on her 13.2 pony at a show yesterday.....getting a grilling by a girl in the line up next to her....why are you so small? why are you on the lead rein?

As it probably would have been out of order to call her a nosey bitch I explained that my daughter wasn't small for her age, she just wasn't big and fat:rolleyes: and she was on the lead rein because her pony wasn't happy with the wind......
 
I quite agree with you DB. There are some wonderful, confidence instilling people on here who are so helpful and supportive. Unfortunately, there are a few who are tactless, spiteful and downright nasty. It is the nasty ones who muddy the waters on here and discourage the people who need encouragement and sometimes basic advice from asking questions. How sad that is. This forum should embrace all abilities without the threat of being shot down in flames or being made to fee less of a person than some of the self righteous, nasty postees on here.

Whilst I wouldn't call this a fluffy forum there is nothing wrong in being civil and kind. Even if you don't agree with something there are ways to say something that gets the message across but at the same time is not nasty or rude.
 
Agree with JenJ i never get replies to most of my post tbh but i am one of the ones who cannot abide trolls, if anyone knows me in real life they will tell u im no different behind a keyboard or face to face and this does get me into trouble quite allot
 
Have to agree with DB - I've followed some of the stuff on this forum with mouth agog. I cannot believe that a group of individuals who purport to have the same aim in life - caring for an animal - can turn on each other with such venom.

I have also been on the receiving end of some of the blunter advice given - trust me, it is not helpful.

I also fail to see how giving well-thought out, constructive and encouraging advice can be seen as 'fluffy' and therefore something to avoid doing. Isn't that why we all come onto this forum?
 
I'm hiding behind sofa like I used to when the Wombles was on to be honest.....

I haven't ever posted on here too much in the past but I have had an operation and I'm housebound so have been posting a few replies etc.

I have put a few what I would think were sensible threads on about bedding, operations etc and they have disappeared within a few answers as a) they are pushed down the list because of all the rubbish repeating bashing threads that appear and b) I'm clearly not in the 'clique'.

I'm scared to post anything about my pony (not being fluffy, he's 13.3hh) as I'm scared someone will start on me like they probably will now much as Chavhorse says she doesn't want to put her show pics on. I want to see people at shows!!

I was a bit shocked about the whole ponios thread - if that's all people have to get wound up about and toddlers saying 'ta' then they must have a much less stressful life than me. I do think the whole adding lots of 'e's' in spellings and the whole teenage speak is a bit off putting but then I'm old - and I simply don't read the thread.
 
Nash2 said:
I do think the whole adding lots of 'e's' in spellings and the whole teenage speak is a bit off putting but then I'm old - and I simply don't read the thread.
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What is the eeeee thing all about? I've only just noticed it, perhaps as I've now seen posts by younger people, but it really winds me up, it's not even phonetic!
 
I'm not sure if I'm perceived as one of the 'nasty' or 'in the clique' ones, I don't think I am, but you never know.
I just wanted to say that I would never type on here anything I wouldn't be comfortable saying to the person's face (well, unless they were bigger than me and very angry looking:D).
 
martlin said:
I'm not sure if I'm perceived as one of the 'nasty' or 'in the clique' ones, I don't think I am, but you never know.
I just wanted to say that I would never type on here anything I wouldn't be comfortable saying to the person's face (well, unless they were bigger than me and very angry looking:D).
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Same here.....I don't think I am cliquey or nasty ( kids and OH most likely disagree with me on that one:eek:)... plus I don't know anyone from here in RL....I only 'know' some of the posters cos of the length of time I've been using the forum and you kind of get to know their style etc.
 
thanks for support guys...i don't consider myself to be a 'fluffy' person either (what does that even mean FTLOG!:rolleyes:) I am totally honest with people if they ask for my advice- so if somebody said "is my horse fat" and i thought it was i would say yes in my humble opinion it is. however, if they posted a picture of their horse to say "do you like his new headcollar" then i'd keep my gob shut about said horse being the size of a house :p i tend not to post in NL very often because, quite frankly, it scares me a little that i will get jumped on for doing something evil to my horse like squishing him or daring to use a pair of spurs :rolleyes: i tend to go in CompRiders and they are much nicer in there. yes they will give you CC if you ask for it but in a nice way that is helpful and allows you to improve. i even, occasionally post pics in there (if i'm feeling really brave). I wouldn't DARE in here :(
 
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I hate it how whenever anyone complains that people are being nasty and rude they are labelled "fluffy". Some people make so many unnecessarily mean comments and I feel really small even when they aren't directed at me! I also agree with kokopelli that it happens in real life as well. I meet so many people who make it clear that I'm just not good enough for them and never will be - even when I beat them!! I'm not claiming to be an amazing rider, but I'm not that bad and certainly don't deserve the looks and the **** that I get. I have actually given up competing because I just don't enjoy it anymore. I didn't have a horse who could go beautifully on the bit all the time (she could outjump any of the posh horses :p) and I just didn't have the money to be considered in the "in" crowd. I always felt really lonely and ostracised at competitions. The sad thing is that I was only 13 at the time, and nobody should treat a child like that. Riders just don't give each other enough support.

I was at Aldon Horse Trials this year, just spectating, and I met someone I used to ride with and compete with. She gave me the dirtiest look and asked "What are YOU doing here?" I know that I haven't said or done anything to deserve that because I have the same attitude to life as I do on the forum: Be nice to people and they will be nice to you. (I am still honest, but constructively)

Sorry for such a long post, so in summary: I agree with you completely Diggerbez!!
 
i find this forum on the whole, nice. there are some people who are down right rude, some really lovely people and really helpful ones, and some not so helpful ones! same as real life really! i dont believe in sugar coating things but i do believe in tact and being respectful to peoples feelings.

i do believe its very cliquey (sp?) and if your face fits your ok!

most of my posts have been replied to by very helpful people, there was one i posted about my in foal mare and i got jumped on for having electric fencing, dangerous to foals etc etc, but saw countless posts after that and nobody said a word.... that sort of thing does annoy me, but being a forum and not real life, i dont really let it both me too much!

all said and doen if everyone was the same it would be very boring!!
 
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