An unbiased opinion!!

atlantis

atlantis

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So I am currently sharing a lovely mare with a friend. It works very well with her being 5 mins up the road and I get on very well with my friend. The mare is lovely, albeit very very forward (strong) and spooky and very tricky. It's nothing I can't handle I'm quite a 'safe' rider and she isn't unsafe. I pay £150 a month to ride the mare, and have been managing 3 or 4 times a week.

The issue. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with her. I can't really afford lessons on her as I'm saving to buy my own hopefully next year. I've had a couple but as I only ride a few times a week I see no real carry over. I want to eventually concentrate on dressage, which is something this mare has never done. I've done a couple of walk trot tests with her with dire scores. (Think giraffe in a test situation).

I am wondering whether I'd be better spending my money on schoolmaster lessons (which my instructor offers) which always make me smile and i learn a lot, rather than riding a mare that does frustrate me at times and I think is getting me into bad habits with my position etc.

Sorry it's mega long. Anyone offer any words of wisdom?
 
Personally if you have no intention of riding this mare in the long term I would most definitely invest in some schoolmaster lessons as they will be much more beneficial and will provide you with the knowledge and ability to use on your own horse.
 
jess_asterix said:
Personally if you have no intention of riding this mare in the long term I would most definitely invest in some schoolmaster lessons as they will be much more beneficial and will provide you with the knowledge and ability to use on your own horse.
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Completely agree.. I would stop sharing this horse and spend the money on schoolmaster lessons while looking for a share in a suitable horse for what you aim to do.
 
Simple question. Do you get £150 worth of pleasure from riding this horse?
If yes then continue.
If no and the funds can be better spent elsewhere then stop.
 
PaddyMonty said:
Simple question. Do you get £150 worth of pleasure from riding this horse?
If yes then continue.
If no and the funds can be better spent elsewhere then stop.
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This pretty much.
From what you have said it sounds as though £150 per month would be better invested in some schoolmaster lessons. In your shoes that is what I would do (you can always pick up some free exercise/hacking on the side if you wish)
 
Wow that's an overwhelming response in favour of schoolmaster lessons. She's such a lovely mare and I've known my friend for 9 years which I think has stopped me just giving notice, but I can feel myself picking up bad habits and she's such a tricky mare I really need weekly lessons, which I just don't have the funds for right now.

Free childcare starts in September (daughter turns 3 soon) so will free up some horse keeping funds and I'd just like my own again really rather than sharing. Its been 6 years since i sold my boy and I thought I'd be happy with simply riding again, but its quickly become apparent that that isn't enough!!!

Thanks guys.
 
I agree with everyone else - if she could do dressage then I'd say keep her but if she cant even do a simple Intro test and goes around with her neck in the air then it sounds like you'd have to spend A LOT on lessons to get her working properly. If you are trying to save money then £150 per month could definitely be spent better - I pay the same as you but share a WB mare out of a GP dressage stallion, there is no way I'd pay that much if I couldnt compete to a reasonable level (OK so my mare is nuts and we havent got out to a competition yet but we will this year, I'm determined :D)

Hope this helps and good luck when you do get round to buying your own - exciting times!
 
Absolutely kc. I've looked everywhere for a schoolmaster to share and there just aren't any near me. Shares are so difficult and this works on every other level, but after 5 months we haven't really got anywhere. She could be good but she's 17 this year and without the lessons I'm just not a capable enough rider to do it on my own, or with infrequent lessons. It is a lot of money, but my friend needs the money.

I do feel excited about having my own again. I've even been looking around for yards and asking around in preparation. I'm looking at being able to start looking this time next year!!!
 
Sorry to hear you're not getting what you want from the share. My own experience wasn't too good either. As it's a friend you're in a difficult position but it's quite a lot of cash to dole out each month if you're not making progress.
I'm back riding a friend's mare..17h of IDxWB with a mind of her own and can be a stroppy madam if you take the wrong approach. I'd love to get her into a school and start re schooling her as she's got lovely paces and would make a lovely dressage horse.
 
I think regular schoolmaster lessons will be invaluable. It'll give you a really good set up for when you have your own horse and I think you'll get more for your money in the long run
 
It's just so difficult TrasaM isn't it. I've found someone who I can share with, on a yard I like, who keeps her horses in a similar way that I would keep mine, (well similar enough). She values my opinion too which is fab, but its made me realise that I want my own and whilst she is a lovely mare I wouldn't ever buy her des just not my type of personality.

Hubby has resigned himself to the fact that we'll be eternally skint so I've got the green light to plan and save with getting a horse in mind. I'm even prepared to get a pony so that there's a possibility that mini me could ride it in the future. I just don't want to waste this year though, and feel my riding would go backwards if I continued riding this mare (without lessons).

It is exciting, and I'm glad that I've got my instructor, who is great. Although I still fancy some lessons with Derek Clarke too.
 
Good point evening star. I could spend this year getting some great experiences under my belt. Dressage holiday, lessons on some amazing experiences.

Def more for my money, without question. Just need to tell my friend. Is a months notice enough do you think? Maybe 2 as she's a friend (£300!!!)
 
Agree with anyone else, I think you would be better off saving the money, you'll be able to save up for a horse of your own much quicker than spending that money on a horse that you don't have a future with. I'm sure you friend will understand :)
 
I think if you explain to your friend that you feel you need to set the money aside for getting your own and that you want to concentrate on schoolmaster lessons for now, she shouldn't be offended; you should be able to chase your own dream. Even though it's not strictly your responsibility, it would be friendly of you to do some asking around to help her find a replacement sharer. Either way, I should think that one month's notice is fair. Good luck with everything, and enjoy whatever you decide to do! :)
 
Definitely schoolmaster lessons.

When I came back to riding after a 12 year break, I wanted to make sure I bought the horse for the rider I could be with the training I would be doing once I had it, rather than the rider I was coming back to it after 12 years off. Best thing I ever did. I went once a week for a year and it completely revolutionised my riding, there's no way I'd have been up to the horse I bought without it.

Don't forget, you've been a great arrangement for your friend too and you're both lucky it's worked so well for so long, but any good friend will want you to do what you need to do in order to get your own horse as that's your dream!
 
Sorry to disagree with everyone else here.:). So riding 3/4 times a week,and you have a giraffe in a walk trot test. Well so do I but I wouldnt change a thing. The secret to good dressage is the basics. Here you have a horse that has trouble engaging its hind quaters ,a horse that you have to ride!. A horse that ,bless it, cannot do it all for you to make you look good. So get some help, get working , make somthing happen here.Learn first hand about the basics. Going in a STRAIGHT LINE!. ACCURACY!.OBEDIENCE!. Hell this horse could teach you so much if you open your eyes.
 
I managed to get mine from giraffe to something a little more like an alpaca, with no lessons, and I am a total numpty when it comes to dressage :P

But then again, I'm not sure I'd want to be paying £150 a month for that pleasure ;) That's more than my livery bill! To be honest, if I had a friend looking to improve their riding before buying their own, and my horse was that giraffey, I'd let them have lessons for free on it...

I think the tricky horses DO teach you a lot - I occasionally ride a friend's schoolmaster horse, and I can sit there and look nice without really learning much, because he will go so well with minimal interference. So although schoolmaster lessons are invaluable, I'm not sure how well they transfer through to dealing with the average, 'real' horse, who probably hasn't had the best start, schooling wise.
 
Mike007 said:
Sorry to disagree with everyone else here.:). So riding 3/4 times a week,and you have a giraffe in a walk trot test. Well so do I but I wouldnt change a thing. The secret to good dressage is the basics. Here you have a horse that has trouble engaging its hind quaters ,a horse that you have to ride!. A horse that ,bless it, cannot do it all for you to make you look good. So get some help, get working , make somthing happen here.Learn first hand about the basics. Going in a STRAIGHT LINE!. ACCURACY!.OBEDIENCE!. Hell this horse could teach you so much if you open your eyes.
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I'm with Mike I'm afraid, work with the trickier horses makes life with the easier horses well... easier :redface3:
 
Mike I've just written a stupidly long reply, (all defensive) as you are absolutely right. However I can't 'get help' as I can't afford it.

So I am very genuinely asking (abd my original question was) would it be worth carrying on with this mare WITHOUT help (as I can't afford it) OR have lessons on schoolmasters.

Which would be better for my riding. I'm looking to start looking for my own this time next year.
 
Ooh can I also point out she doesn't go like a giraffe all the time, and can go quite sweetly fir a few strides at a time, but on the intro tests (on the yard, in an arena she knows) she (we) tense up and I video it (I've got no one to video out sessions at other times) and its bloody diabolical, if I do say so myself.
 
atlantis said:
Ooh can I also point out she doesn't go like a giraffe all the time, and can go quite sweetly fir a few strides at a time, but on the intro tests (on the yard, in an arena she knows) she (we) tense up and I video it (I've got no one to video out sessions at other times) and its bloody diabolical, if I do say so myself.
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Mine is like that - got him going very well at home now, and my instructor keeps sighing, shaking her head and telling me we should be getting good scores at novice - but we haven't even broken 60% in an Intro as he (and I) get very tense when competing. However I am getting shed loads of lessons, and getting out competing in the same venues as my lessons so that we start to string things together.

I agree that tricky horses teach you more, but doing it without lessons is difficult and discouraging - and if you don't know what you're doing you won't get far. Te fact that she is not your horse either, and you are paying quite a substantial share for her, I would recommend the schoolmaster lessons.

And remember, other posters - schoolmasters are NOT necessarily push button. I had a schoolmaster who was the opposite - could do everything, but wouldn't do a thing unless I rode him properly. I had to really pick up my accuracy, fitness, everything to get him going well, but because he was well schooled I got more out of him when I got it right than I would one with less schooling. So schoolmaster lessons might teach you more than you think!
 
Just to pick up on you saying you're not really making progress as you only really ride her 3 or 4 times a week.... now I ride my dressage horse 5 days a week, 1-2 of that are hacks or other non-schooling activities, so I only school 3-4 days a week, same as you - and I expect to make progress in that time! But you do need help. Can you find a cheaper instructor? Many riding clubs do very good value lessons in groups, maybe you have something like that near enough to hack to? Or, can you offer to do some yard work etc. for your instructor in exchange for some lessons? Otherwise, maybe you can explain your dilemma to your friend - say that you have this set amount of money per month, and within that you want to make progress but currently you are not. So you are considering whether you can use the money for lessons instead, unless there is some way you can pay less for the mare to put more money into lessons? Could it be cheaper to share the mare if you did some yard chores? In the meantime, do as much reading as you can and watch lots of videos on Youtube, there is lots of stuff out there to help you.
 
Mike007 said:
Sorry to disagree with everyone else here.:). So riding 3/4 times a week,and you have a giraffe in a walk trot test. Well so do I but I wouldnt change a thing. The secret to good dressage is the basics. Here you have a horse that has trouble engaging its hind quaters ,a horse that you have to ride!. A horse that ,bless it, cannot do it all for you to make you look good. So get some help, get working , make somthing happen here.Learn first hand about the basics. Going in a STRAIGHT LINE!. ACCURACY!.OBEDIENCE!. Hell this horse could teach you so much if you open your eyes.
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Agree in the sense that difficult horses teach you a heck of a lot more than an easy schoolmaster type - HOWEVER in the OP's case she cant afford regular lessons, therefore 'get some help' doenst apply in this instance. Plus said horse is 17 years old, not that I have anything against older horses and I'm sure with hard work, time and money you can teach a 17 year old horse to work properly, but the horse's age is going to make it that much more difficult.

In the OP's situation, she is sharing until she can afford her own therefore this isnt going to be a long term share, only 1 more year max. Why invest a lot of money into an older horse to try and change a lifetime of habits for that horse when she is not going to reap the rewards long term? Owning a horse, sharing a horse, riding....its all supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Sharing a horse particularly you are only going to end up investing money for the owner to enjoy the benefits if you spend a fortune on lots of lessons and training.

As a sharer you have to find the balance between you enjoying it and learning, with what the owner is getting out of it - yes this is the OP's friend so chances are the owner (friend) wont be using the OP, but I have been in situations before where the owner of my share horse used me to school and bring on her horse, having lots of lessons on him paid for by myself only for her to sell him on.

So caution has to be taken when investing in lessons on a horse you do not own - lessons are expensive and the frequency of lessons a 17 year old horse that impersonates a giraffe most of the time will need isnt going to pay off for the OP when she knows there is an end date in sight to this share. Investing in lessons when you share should only happen when you know the share is going to be long term and you are going to benefit directly from them.

OP - you are right to want schoolmaster lessons, working on your own riding will pay off massively when you come to buy your own, presumably whilst you are saving for a horse you are not going to be able to afford a perfectly schooled horse next year, horse you buy will probably have quirks and will challenge you in different ways. So best to be prepared for next year by investing in schoolmaster lessons and dressage holidays (can I come along - sounds amazing!) so your riding is polished up ready to be challenged by your new horse next year.
 
Thanks do much kc100. That just about sums up how I feel. I love this horse but I am unable to achieve with her what I'd like and I feel I need to use the next year to prepare as best I can. Funds are limited and it does feel a little bit like there's little point working hard with her just to stop just as I'm starting to reep the benefits, although I do appreciate that the journey is part of the process.

I chickened out of talking to my friend at work today, although it wasn't an appropriate time really.

I have realistic expectations for a new horse. Something fairly young and with native in it, so its not too big and with less of a flight reflex!!!

The dressage 'holiday' would be a weekend at one of two places that offers intensive schooling, maybe a simulator weekend or lots of lunging. I'm also working on my core, lots of Pilates and yoga, reading loads, got Sylvia loch DVDs and books for Christmas. Reading Phillip Karl's book (also a pressie).

Mike's post upset me a little this morning. Mainly as I agree with what he said and it touched a nerve, but if I am ever going to afford my own I need to be sensible with my money to save to buy. (I got a loan to buy my first horse 10 years ago, still paying it off now, although not for long!!).

This thread really has given the discussion that I needed to prompt me to consider every angle. I'll have a chat with my friend and I'll let you know what we decide.

Thanks.
 
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