And so the silent treatment begins......

Shysmum

Shysmum

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:rolleyes:

Following on my from thread about DIY livery, the said person has now started on the silent treatment. I managed to get a grunt of a hello out of her, but the atmosphere you could cut with a knife.

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/foru...her-DIY-s-expecting-you-to-quot-help-out-quot

Cue me singing badly to the radio in my stable (she is next door). Tbh I could not care too much, I am way past being interested, this was beyond all reason, a very nasty incident. I feel the need to shout "FGS get a grip", but I fear that may make things worse !

WHY do horsey women do this ? Is it written in the rules somewhere that you have to be a complete silent b**** if you don't get your own way ? That you have to put the person who stood up to you thru months of "Here we go again".

I was actually scared and very shocked after what happened to me and hubs - a full on frenzy that was almost violent, just over me refusing to bring in a horse all the time.

Answers on a postcard I guess. x

I put this in Club House because I was so damned angry, and because it seems to be the way horsey women deal with issues. WHY ? Sorry if it's in the wrong place.
 
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Hahaha ! Thank god I have my little radio and a loud voice. And yes, it's a very good point that silence is better than screaming. I will keep that in mind.

Oh the joys of women together.
 
I just think there must be a lot of nutters out there, whom you normally don't come into contact with? I recall a mother and daughter combination at my previous yard, whose behaviour was so bad (daughter once kicked my horse while wearing neon pink stilettos and I nearly broke my toe because he jumped onto my foot, mother sat tutting and shaking her head when my car skidded downhill on ice as it held her up) that I got fed up with them and told the mother she needed to develop some social skills and consider passing them onto her ghastly daughter. Cue mother virtually going insane - I actually thought she was going to jump on top of me, frothing at the mouth. I wasn't scared as I'd have quite liked to have given her a thumping, but I have to watch not to get a criminal record in my field!

This was nothing compared to the true nutter who has moved from yard to yard in the same area, inevitably followed by trouble and slanging matches - actually very entertaining when watched from a distance. Though sadly since I have her blocked on FB I can no longer view most of it.
 
This woman had a pitchfork in her hand, lol. i have heard of rows between liveries getting violent, but I never imagined i would be on the receiving end. The must be a gene in some horsey women ?
 
It drives me mad but there is always one person who is so ****ing lazy that they always leave their horse out for others to get in; because they know that most yards have a rule not to leave a horse out on their own. That person always manages to come 10 mins after they know everyone is getting theirs in to ride and then acts all surprised when someone has got their horse in for them. Leaves them more time for the endless cups of tea they drink (rather than doing anything with their horse).

I would love the silent treatment but dont go overboard in trying to fill the silence - because then she knows that she is getting to you. Just go about your business as if nothing has changed.
 
I haven't read your original thread OP, but I would continue on as normal, personally I'd always say 'Morning!' (loudly and cherrily) and 'Bye' just the same. It shows you as the better person, and at least no one can say you're causing the atmosphere or ignoring her.
 
Wow I really feel for you putting up with that, horses are a hobby to be enjoyed and you really dont sound like your having much fun at the moment. Lets pray it gets better !!
 
Shysmum said:
This woman had a pitchfork in her hand, lol. i have heard of rows between liveries getting violent, but I never imagined i would be on the receiving end. The must be a gene in some horsey women ?
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There was certainly a genetic similarity in the woman and daughter combo I mentioned! It was kind of wonderful - I'd never met people like that before! The daughter was described as a model (worked on a make up counter), the mother liked to portray herself as a wealthy oil executive (secretary for an oil company) who was very rich (bought a lot of stuff on credit) and you were, I think, meant to talk about how much your credit items cost you and how rich you were.
 
Think I might just know someone a little similar :) I started to voice my opinions about how she was treating my friends horse ( zapped with electric tape, left tied in shelter, fed mouldy hay) and I soon found me getting silent treatment then she took her toys ( horses) away. Today she said to same friend that " it was a shame I couldn't have kept my opinions to myself because I could have been riding her horse all this time ! Huh! .?... Wasn't worth the aggro in the end. You should keep on being very pleasant to her. There's nothing more annoying than someone not being bothered that you're ignoring them.
 
Shysmum said:
This woman had a pitchfork in her hand, lol. i have heard of rows between liveries getting violent, but I never imagined i would be on the receiving end. The must be a gene in some horsey women ?
Click to expand...

Hey, that's nothing. OH was slightly surprised when he saw one livery stab another with a knife. Crazy women.
 
Agree with everyone else, just say "Morning" and "Bye" in a really cheery voice and with a smile. It really gets their goat...I know from experience with similar yard psychos!!! Hopefully said nutter will ****** off to a different yard :)
 
Im another who would give a bright and breezy" hello gosh isnt the weather terrible"type of thing cause i have found it always bug hell out of them. I never lower myself to there level :)
 
I really feel for you and know how horrible it feels! I liveried beside a complete psycho for five years. She went from complete raging screaming fits and threatening to put me in effin hospital to trying to be my best friend! She copied everything I did with my horses and beyond? I honestly cant believe that I put up with her for so long. Unfortunately for me and my partner the YO took no part of what was going on and inevitably took her side as he was genuinely scared of her and her infamous family!! There are some real crack pots out there! Really hope she doesnt affect your fun at your new yard :)
 
Thanks for the replies - I know it happens at most yards at some time. urgh.

The worst thing is that poor Shy was listening to me chatting to myself about it on our ride (that's how I tend to process this stuff), and he is a very good listener. Unfortunately for him, I was so absorbed in talking to him about it that we went much further than planned - he was shocked. :D
 
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The bright, cheerful, loud 'good morning' and 'bye', every day, is THE tactic. I wouldn't bother to remark on even the weather. Apart from giving you the moral high ground, this approach seems to make the silent nutter-type person say 'good morning' back, despite themselves. So as well as having the moral high ground, you simultaneously annoy the hell out of the nutter-type by forcing them to break their silence and by implying that you have not noticed that they are giving you the silent treatment :-) And then you can sweetly get on and enjoy your time with your horses.
 
What a hideous situation.

How about a bright and breezy "I bet you'll be busy this Halloween"

Obviously duck straight after to avoid flying broomsticks... sorry pitchforks
 
It wouldn bother me if someone ignores me(and its happened) but i just love to annoy them still being cheerful me just carrying on as if nothing is going on :)
 
I get where folk are coming from witj the smile and say hello but its horrible going to a yard just hoping they are not there. Ive been there with a mother and female offspring of the deranged variety. My honest opinion is its the unhappy homelives they lead. Unhappy women hate happy women and there is nothing you can do about it. I hate to be all gloom and doom here but i moved away three years ago and still get mild stalking now and again. quite flatering really!
 
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