And so the silent treatment begins......

If you look at it objectively she is trying to control your emotions with her behaviour. The screaming approach didn't work on you, so now she is doing the silent treatment. If I would you I would not spend a jot of my energy on her. Why on earth waste your energy on someone who isn't worth is. I'd be very calm and polite, but I'd go about my business and put her to the back of my mind.

People only affect you if you let them. I wouldn't give a flying ***** what she's thinking or feeling unless she came up and genuinely apologised for being aggressive. It sounds like a great yard apart from her, if the worst she can do it give you the silent treatment then let her waste her time doing that. I'd be off enjoying myself and my horse.
 
I think nearly every yard must have one! How worrying......

I am currently receiving the silent treatment from a fellow DIY livery, after her swearing and shouting at me and my OH. She seems to have been further enraged by the fact that my work allows me to ride and box up in the afternoon with another livery, rather than waiting till its dark and she has finished work and can come.....or rather go instead, as we wont fit 3 on the lorry.

I am loving it. I feel like the grown up when I say Hello, Goodbye etc...even if ignored. And have to admit, I chuckle away to myself to know that me behaving normally and continuing to crack on with my horse how and when i want to winds her up!
 
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Yup, I will take all this advice and just get on with it ! I have missed being around my lad because the weather has been so bad, and tbh, I just need to stay quiet and calm for my own mental health.

Thanks so much for the support x
 
I know it's a lovely yard, but I know that feeling of dread and getting stressed going to the yard when there is an atmosphere. Can you miss her? It's a PITA having to see her at all.
 
Well I am lucky really as it's just me there when I get there in the morning. (Someone else has turned out for her)... That's when I do pretty much everything, and ride out.

It's just in the evening that we cross paths. And hubs comes with me then, so it'll be okay. The YO is not stupid either - she knows what's happened, bless her.
 
I love the singing bit - especially if you can sing off key, out of tune and flat all at the same time to an ipod so she can't hear the actual music you are singing to!! In addition when she does start talking you will have a reason not to hear her!! Stay strong and do your own thing!!
:)
 
To be honest OP just reading your threads stresses me, I couldn't cope at all, I hope it passes for you as quickly as it arose
 
Play her at her own game, but in reverse. Be happy, polite and charming. Always give a cheery 'hello' and a happy 'goodbye'. And always offee a cuppa when you put the kettle on.

Or. ........

You could be the bigger person and suggest a chat to clear the air.....
 
I agree with amymay, don't be seen to be the one who isn't speaking, a) it's looks good for you, b) it'll drive her crazy. Did this for months to a woman at work once, I was always chirpy on arrival and she always scowled back, we used to take bets on how long it would take her to speak to me ('cos she would have to at a point).
I expect your pony will think you are bonkers but your singing voice may well improve!! :)
 
I had a woman do this to me at the yard. She completely caught me off guard and I ended up in tears!! I got the silent treatment too. She did it a number if times and would always just start talking to me at some point.

I later found out that she didn't like me because I became good friends with her 'friend' who she was also awful to at times. Apparently she isn't allowed to have other friends. I had to live next door to her too!!! She once let rip to my fil about where he'd parked his car (outside my house, public road, he slammed the door in her face, veey gentle man too) and the YO ruined her life when she decided to sell up.

Some people!!! Enjoy the peace and try it to worry about her being there. I did go to the stage of avoiding her at one point but that was hard work when she lived next door!!
 
Too many I agree with to quote - but totally agree, nice cheary hello and good bye's - it really, really annoys them! I find this sort of behaviour really funny tbh
 
Sorry, didn't have my laptop last night - hence shortish reply.

But my feeling is that you do need to sort this out. As someone else pointed out - the yard may be wonderful, but bad atmospheres can soon sour the enjoyment of those involved and result in looking to move.

OP, I would really have a chat with this woman. You need to clear the air for both your sakes (regardless of the rights or wrongs of her behaviour). I would simply tell her that you're sorry you've upset her but, but you really don't want to be involved with other people's horses unless there's an emergency. And that in order to preserve harmony on the yard you'd like to think that the two of you can at least be able to be civil to each other - after all the bad feeling is spoiling both of your enjoyment of the yard.
 
I agree with Amymay. I would hate the atmosphere and the way it would spill over into the general relationships between everyone at the yard. I would want to publicly - so there can be no misunderstanding, clear the air, apologise if there is a perception you were rude whatever and move on.

Don't play games, don't let it get personal & don't allow it to escalate.
 
Try and clear the air if you can. If that doesn't work then be the bigger person and be smily and happy. If that then doesn't work and she's still miserable, you can wind her up something chronic by chuckling out loud to yourself every now and then. Will drive her mad.

Obviously try and get it sorted out though!!!
 
At last yard there was woman like this, basically expecting everyone to do most of the work for her & got mean/aggressive when they didn't. I'm a very quiet person, but don't push me. I don't yell or anything, but I wont take rubbish & will say that I wont do something, polietly, with reasoned thought, but I will stand my ground. When I didn't play her games she tried going off on one a few times, then the sniping to other liveries & lies (tbh I don't give a gnats what people say, I just do my own thing & enjoy my horses - which I have found is often the thing that actually winds them up, to ride, compete & enjoy what you do makes them insanely jealous). Throughout I just kept myself to myself, chatted to some very nice liveries, rode out with people, normal stuff but did not reciprocate with bi7ching. In end it drove her mad. Not my intention, but she only spoiled things for herself & made herself miserable, she had no effect on me, I was always civil but she couldn't get her head around the notion that I wasn't interested in her opinions or joining her bi7ching clique.

If you are pleasant, there is no reason why an atmostphere should develop. Don't be manipulated or made to feel bad for wanting to do your own horse. Would you honestly trust this woman with your horse?
 
Oh dear, the cheery approach didn't work, and I think I'll need to leave a lot of space before I try to talk. She honestly scared me, and I think I'd rather not get involved. Someone on the edge (or over) must need space, and it seems I am a trigger.

I had a fab ride on the boy this morning, no one's at the yard, and if I have to do a quick in and out at night for the time being, that's fine. Life's too bloomin short. The stress of it all has exhausted me.
 
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Don't change the time you want to spend with your horse. Put a smile on, keep quiet (so as not to deliberately antagonise), don't gossip & just go enjoy your horse. Whether she is there or not is incidental.
 
amymay said:
Sorry, didn't have my laptop last night - hence shortish reply.

But my feeling is that you do need to sort this out. As someone else pointed out - the yard may be wonderful, but bad atmospheres can soon sour the enjoyment of those involved and result in looking to move.

OP, I would really have a chat with this woman. You need to clear the air for both your sakes (regardless of the rights or wrongs of her behaviour). I would simply tell her that you're sorry you've upset her but, but you really don't want to be involved with other people's horses unless there's an emergency. And that in order to preserve harmony on the yard you'd like to think that the two of you can at least be able to be civil to each other - after all the bad feeling is spoiling both of your enjoyment of the yard.
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I agree. I had a similar situation recently and it actually ended up making me pretty depressed. To the point I really didn't want to go and see my horses any more.

I ended up sending a conciliatory email and things are gradually getting back to normal thank goodness.
 
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