angry and slightly upset (long)

[Tempi]

Last night i was quite happily riding Archie on the school and he was going really nicely when YO came on on her youngster (she keeps telling me hes 4, but the girl she brought him off told me hes 6). Archie tensed a little as hes a little wary of other horses in the arena with him. But he listened to me and we carried on working well in trot and canter and even passing left to left he didnt freak out which is a HUGE improvement on even a couple of days ago, so i was really pleased with that

YO then shouted to me to see if i wanted to go for a hack up the lane with her (we've got a long track that leads off our yard onto the fields) i said yes (as i didnt want to seem like a whimp to her and not want to take him out).

We rodeup the track and he started having a total paddy at the puddles, he refused to go anywhere near them and started napping and doing mini rears, now hes 17'2 and i can cope with Bloss doing this but he is a bit big!! I however managed to persuade him to go round the edge and that was fine. However next puddle he totally threw his toys out of the pram so i got off and led him through it, all was fine and he walked through nicely, then he stood still whilst i got back on. We then turned round and came back after walking a bit further and again same problem, i did however get him to go round it this time.

he then started napping by his field and doind bigger rears, i didnt let him spin round and kept a good contact on him as i know how to deal with this sort of thing as bloss does it all the time, however he wasnt going to budge and i didnt have a stick as i dont school him with one and wasnt planning on hacking out. So i got him to turn round and face the way we were going and then i dismounted and led him the rest of the way home. I know a lot of you will say this is wrong, but i didnt truley let him get away with anything as i didnt let him spin round etc

So, (i told you it was long

) been talking to mum this morning who has in turn been talking to her friend at work (whos horse i had at my yard and broke for her last summer) and her friend thinks that my YO is trying to make me scared of Archie so her son can have him. They have already made me an offer on him after the first incident. YO new it was too soon for my to take him out, but she also knew i wouldnt say no to her if she offered. She also NEVER rides on the school but since ive had Archie shes been in their 4 times when ive been on him, she dosent ever come in there when im on Bloss. I am now totally convinced shes doing all this on purpose as they're jealous of Archie and i know her son wants him.

I dont know what to do as i cant leave because theres nowhere else near me (went down this route a while ago) and i am totally convinced shes doing all ths on purpose......its not going my confidence any good and she knows it too...........

sorry its so long guys but i had to let it all out!!!!

 

[MrsMagoo]

Oh dear they sound like a right evil pair and yes does sound abit like jealousy to me!!! Its not fair for them to push you, especially as he's a big boy and could easily result in somthing bad happening

Done really know what to suggest though, apart from telling them to f*ck of out of it lol....

 

[sista_act]

hmmmm if your having so many doubts about trusting your YO

i would move yards!

 

[Rambo]

My advice to you would simply be this....

Stand up for what you believe is the right thing for you and your horse. You have been successful in the past, and will be so again with Archie. Your methods and ideas work for you, so stick to your guns.

As for YO and her son...forget them ! They can't and won't make you sell your horse....least of all to them ! If they are playing games they will soon tire when they get nowhere.

It's difficult and frustrating for you I know, but simply trying to get along is often the easiest method...especially if you rely on them (but don't ever let them know that

).

 

[Salcey]

Sounds if you could be right.......Its easy for us to say stick to your guns and don't let people make you do what you don't want too! but in reality that might be hard for you to do.

I would take another look at your options in the area, and if that doesn't turn anything else up then I would try to school when you have someone else with you for moral support, although probably not a long term answer I know.

 

[seabiscuit]

I am sorry that you have had more trouble with Archie, but as you said in your PM with time he will settle and calm down and enjoy his work with you.

I do think however that what is being stipulated about your YM seems a bit bizzarre- yes she may want Archie for her son- but would she really deliberately try and force your horse into misbehaving?? Would she really stoop that low? Wouldnt anyone go in the school a lot with a new horse anyway?

Whatever the answer- b***dy well prove them wrong- perhaps get a lesson with K very soon to help things along a bit?

 

[miamibear]

i know its gard but dont feel pressured in to doing anything, take it steady and do it at your own pace. Make sure everything is in place before you go any further, it will pay dividends in the end.

Leading him out down the lane through puddles will help too to get him used to what his job is.

Dont panic hun, you are doing a great job, keep going and dont listen to anyone else!!

 

[seabiscuit]

You could ring up Mrs Reid and ask to rent a single stable at Cholderton? and get a shetland for company.
Quite honestly- its worth a try- there are 20 stables there sitting empty doing nothing!

 

[burtie]

[ QUOTE ]
You could ring up Mrs Reid and ask to rent a single stable at Cholderton? and get a shetland for company.
Quite honestly- its worth a try- there are 20 stables there sitting empty doing nothing!



[/ QUOTE ]

What is happening at Cholderton as they are still advertising on the NFED Liveries section as offering Livery?

Sorry P_G not sure what to add, but it does seem like you need to ignore the YO and just stand up for what you want to do on Archie yourself, she does seem to be behaving very strangely about him.

 

[seabiscuit]

My friend who lives next door says it has been empty for months now!

 

[BBs]

Oh hunny

I know what you mean, although different, i felt the same way at my old yard! Ppl only came in when they knew I wanted to jump! and they knew very well I got worried when ppl watched me (post TFT and retraining).

I really feel for you, a new horse is so exciting and you want everyone to be pleased for you, but undoubtedly there are a few who will be jealous and try their dandiest to ruin it for you.

Archie sounds a very talented but sensitive horse, who needs to take time to bond with his rider - that’s not a problem, however, when you have ppl at your yard trying to upset everything its isn’t easy - its easy for ppl to say - ignore them, but that’s not easy! I know!

You really do need to be a little bit more assertive in your actions with your new horsey you need to say NO we are not going for hack yet! We are working in the school etc

don’t let yourself get bullied, especially as you know full well the YO is doing it on purpose! Do what you feel is right for you and your horse not what others think you should do. Is there no chance you can take Archie away for some training at your instructors place? Or ride at different times i.e. in the morning when YO might be doing other things?

I must admit I love being where I am as I can just do as I please, my YO is completely different and is there to help me whenever I need her - like she nannies me and Snoop on the roads, to the farm and around - I too had to make Snoop go through puddles yesterday! Thankfully he didn’t react as much as Archie did, if he did I don’t think Snoop will make an eventer lol

I also believe deep down the first ride you had on your lad has affected you! You aren’t quite sure if he will do it again - totally understandable! When Sunny started rearing with me when we started jumping him I too don’t totally trust him now

Perhaps TFT would help you’re state of mind atm! Give you more confidence in yourself. It really helped me when I was doubting my abilities equine and human!

Hugs hunny

Vxx

 

[Tempi]

i have heard shes slightly crazy tho!!!!!!!!!!!! Also i do want to keep Archie in a bust environment so he gets used to it all, if i moved him somewhere quiet it wont do him any good at all.

i cant remember who wrote it but my YO really is that devious in that she would honestly try and cause problems for me with Archie. Shes had her youngster (or however old he is) for 4months now and never ever does she ride on the school the same time as me as shes there all day as she only works part time. I do honestly know shes doing it on purpose.

I am constantly keeping my eye out for new yards and there is a rumour going around that one is being built on an estate near me, which would be nice, as the hacking is fab round there. but obviously as its not even built yet its going to be a whilte bfore its advertised.

 

[Tempi]

do you know whats going on at Louisas atm? have they sold up yet do you know?

 

[Halfstep]

I would get out of that yard as soon as you can. The situation there is not suitable for a youngster who is nervous of other horses. You obviously can't work him the way you want to, which will make you uncomfortable, and this will be transmitted to him.
If you have to stay, can you change your routine completely so that you avoid your YO and son? Say, ride Archie very early in the morning before work? But these people sound so nasty and clearly have no respect for you and your horses - go as soon as you can.

Hope A. is ok. He is a stunner.

x

 

[seabiscuit]

Oh dear

She does sound like a wierdo. How very sad that people will behave like this. I do hope you find a solution XXX

 

[seabiscuit]

Have no idea- but will find out for you- its no problem! Great idea if you can go there

 

[Tempi]

There is no way i can ride before work, im at the yard at 6am as it is every morning and i dont get home until 730pm every evening. I dont want to move him anywhere quieter as hes got to get used to it, i just want YO to leave me alone. Shes never shown any interest in me before.

Also there is no where else near me as i went down this route before, i have to have somewhere near to me and i simply cant afford a part livery anywhere with two horses to pay for. i can only jsut afford two as it is.

 

[Tempi]

im taking him for a lesson with Kay next saturday (4th) as she hasnt met him yet

 

[eahotson]

I bought a 14hh so that I could get off and back on again if we met anything I didn't like.

 

[Maesfen]

I go along with the others but I know it might be harder in practise!

I'd also get around to long reining him as well as if he is an ultra young horse; insist on obedience at all times, he's too big not to, don't fanny about trying to do high school if you know what I mean!

when you are convinced he is obeying you, then take him out for 'drives' here there and everywhere and if puddles appear just ignore them don't tense up so he anticipates danger so that in the end I bet he'll accept them without much hassle. This is much easier if it is chucking it down too, he's getting wet anyway what's a puddle extra?!

Have you got any streams shallow enough to have a paddle in too? If you walk in calmly he should follow you easily enough cos you have proved there are no dangers in the depths, it's what I had to do with mine and after that there was never a problem - but show him a dustbin and he'd run a mile!

 

[tinker512]

Well if that is the case I think you perhaps need to think about what is better for the horse, if you knew a hack was too soon, you should have said perhaps maybe no, I'm going to continue schooling, regardless or not whether it makes you look like a wimp or not, its your horse we are talking about!!

YO does sound evil though!!

 

[kick_On]

so sorry just pm you

 

[Tempi]

long reining idea is a good one, ive just ordered myself another lunge line so i can give it a go with him. im not sure if hes done it before or not, but its worth a go

 

[not_with_it]

OK, try to be an optimist. Think about how fantastic your horse is and that because he is so fantastic your YO wants him. She cant have him though as hes all yours. Practise saying NO to people, your methods obviously work otherwise you wouldnt have got as far as you did with Bloss.

 

[Tempi]

when i first had Bloss it took me 6months of trying to get her to leave the yard!!!!! im not prepared for the same to happen with Archie!! so determination and positive thinking is coming from me from now on!! and also learning to say no to people!! mum always says i give in too easily!

 

[Petrie]

I think you need to move yards!! But that is easy for us to say, I know how hard it is to find somewhere decent.

On the hacking front, if it were me, I would still try to hack him as it's so good for youngsters to get them thinking forward and getting used to life, but you need to hack with someone who can nanny you. A friend on a sensible horse would be ideal, not the horrid YO who wants to see you have problems.

Also, with a real baby like yours, I wouldn't ride him on windy/rainy days until he's got used to everything - you want to give him every chance to be good.

Was he imported? If yes, then he probably lived 23 hrs in his barn/stable and spent an hour in an indoor school, so anything in the outside world will be terrifying. Lots of turn out would be a useful thing. He needs to get used to living with puddles, birds flying around, noises etc.

You could try creating spooky things in the school environment, getting him used to walking past these first in safety.

 

[not_with_it]

I used to be the same, I would do anything for a quiet life. It was only when I went through a bad patch in my life that I toughened up and learned to voice my opinion. No one can stop me now

You work hard to pay for everything that you have got, what right have other people got to ruin that for you.

 

[Tempi]

yes he was imported from Holland as a 4 year old and then lived with the woman i brought him from for a year. i know about all the issues with outdoors etc as a couple of my friends who have warmbloods have been through the same things as me.

like i said above im going to lead him out and about through puddles etc and get him to trust me, whilst carrying on with his schooling

 

[pottamus]

I have learn't the very hard way not to be pushed or pressured into doing things with my horse that in my heart of hearts I don't want to do or feel it to be too soon. Each time I have come a cropper so no longer do it. We do what we do and how we do it and let everyone else get on with their own stuff. It is hard because people exclude you round here if you are not seen to be taking part in stuff they are doing, so you pay the price. But I would rather be safe and do things with my horse that we both enjoy and are ready for and thats that!!!
Be strong and if your gut says no, then say no.

 

[Tierra]

Is there no chance of taking him to your trainers for a couple of weeks or something? (Since moving doesnt appear to be an option but it would certainly be my gut reaction!)

Our yard gets terribly busy in half terms and summer holidays due to my trainer being so involved with the BYRDs stuff (we've had 5 of them staying this week! But, thankfully they've all gone off to camp from today!). However, I have taken mine away to other yards for a week's break and to allow me a) some input from a different trainer and b) some time to work one on one with my horse with no interference or distractions.

Your a new partnership and it sounds like you really need a few weeks of interrupted time together... and it doesnt sound like you'll get that where you are at the mo!