Angry and upset with Vet.........bit long sorry

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abina

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I have a Pointer - he's now 18yrs old and I have had him since he was three weeks old - we have only ever been apart for a handful of days throughout our time together and he has always come to work with me. I know he is old ... very old for such a large dog and in the past few weeks he has suddenly got really old. He has several tumours and cysts all over his body and a growth in his ear which has grown and it now makes keeping his ear clean very difficult and the ear has now started smelling quite bad - an infection I'm guessing, so pop along to the vets to see if a course of antibotics would help fight the infection from inside out and get some general advice.

Instead of my usual vet I was consulted with a young vet - now I know we all had to start somewhere but after a general feel and prod about commented on my dogs loss of muscle tone - I did repeat that the dog was 18yrs old ! commented on his heart murmur - yep my normal vet picked that up when he was a pup(on record) so have known about that for 18yrs - granted it could now be a lot worse. Commented on how unsteady he was on his legs - yep I'm sure when I am the equivilent age I will be a be unsteady on my pins as well
Kept questioning me as to he's general quality of life and just kept making very negitive comments - came away having felt that I had to fight for my dogs life - This young vet seemed very adamant that my dog wasn't going to walk out of that room. No hint of any antibotics to help my dog be comfortable or any reassuring words.

Now I know that that time of the big decision is very close and I am well aware of that and if I thought just for one micro moment that my dog was in pain, uncomfortable or had no life to speak of then I will on the phone to the vet in a flash. But now just feel really angry that this vet made me feel that I was keeping a dog alive for selfish reasons and made me feel so low and bad when I left the room, that I walked outside and broke down in tears. Now I am just plain angry, that I let a so called professional get to me so much.

Upset and rant over ..... glass of red wine to calm nerves....... friends welcome to join me !
 
With the best will in the world, you can see a friend you've had for life, he can see a very old dog with a heart murmur who is not good on his legs and covered in tumours and cysts and a growth in his ear, which can be hugely uncomfortable.

I have no doubt that you love your boy very much, but it is hard to see what is right in front of you sometimes, my mother went through the same thing and she knows in hindsight she spent two years keeping a dog alive, for her.

I am not saying he was not wrong or pushy in his manner, you will know yourself when the time is right, but try to see things from his (both the vet, and the dog's!) side too x

I know you will probably think I am a horrible cowbag for saying that when you are already so upset, sorry :o
 
Poor you. Its really hard when you get to that stage with an animal. To be honest though, I'd feel angrier if a vet that didn't know the dog had simply handed over the antibiotics without picking up on the heart murmur etc... I think that its something that you obviously know is coming closer, but don't really want to face up to? I wouldn't. I agree with what CC said - we too kept a cat going in the past for much longer than we should have, but its hard to see at the time when you're emotionally involved...

Big hugs to you, and another glass of wine...x
 
I can see both sides of the fence here. I'm sometimes like a pushy vet (even though I'm just a dog groomer) when I (for example) see a dog that's overweight...I don't always know the whole story, I just see what I see and try to tell people what my opinion is, and how to "fix" the problem as matter of fact as possible.

Vets are scientific minded and a good lot of them are men...and if they are young, haven't got the life experience to know the intricacies of the bond of human and pet relationships. My hubby is a lot like this (not a vet, but an engineer - same sort of mentality being science based education). But as he gets older, he lets his emotion come in to equations when making decisions and speaking about matters of the heart.

Like you, I've got a golden oldie. However your oldie is a bigger dog and generally they don't age as well as the toy breeds (which I have). So the fact that you've managed to keep your pointer going all these years is quite remarkable and is a testatment to your good care. Maybe like me, you look at your oldie and wonder if each day will be the last, and want to do the best for them. Mine (a minature pinscher) came in thru the cat flap this morning from the garden where the temperature was -12c and even though she's partially blind, mostly deaf and a bit senile maybe? She's still bouncing round the kitchen doing a bounce and a play bow and spronking as best she can with her arthritis riddled body. I KNOW she's not the fittest specimen of a dog but I keep looking to see if she has spark (she has) and quality of life (hers is probably better than mine!) and wants to go out (she's had the odd accident in the house on the coldest of days, but not today!) and wants to eat (she's the first one queueing up for grub).

Don't be too upset with the vet. He's probably just trying to keep his emotions out of the dialog. He maybe hasn't developed a bedside manner as it were. And another thing too - vets can't be "right" for everyone. He can be the perfect vet in his manner for any number of other people, but just not the right personality to deal with you, if you know what I mean?
 
Some good points made above and to be honest it sounds like this "baby Vet" is going to be a good one as so many now just push treatments (£££££) to an older or declining dog when in fact just making the dog comfortable would be the kinder option.
Antibiotics may help, phone the vets and ask for some - you shouldn't need a consult as this has just been done.

18 is a very good age.

My 19 year old moggy started to fail this Summer, she would have good days & bad days and I took her a final trip, on a good day, when the bad started to outnumber the good.
 
I am afraid I have to agree with the above comments. It sounds like the vet was seeing your lad with fresh eyes, and was maybe trying to gently tell you he was coming to the end of his time. He doesn't know you so possibly doesn't realise the good relationship you have built up with your normal vet.Perhaps you could phone and speak to your usual vet and ask for his opinion.
 
Oh dear, don't think these replys are what you wanted to hear, but Murphys Minders suggestion is good - talk it through with your usual vet and ask what he thinks?

How lucky you are to have your boy for so long, I lost both of mine at 8 years each - what I would've given for more than double that! Good luck, hope your vet can put your mind at rest :)
 
I listened to some vet lectures earlier this year, and one thing one of the speakers said to the students stuck with me:

'It's down to you, as the vet, to champion the animal's welfare'

I am so sorry that you are faced with this horrible decision, which is the bad end of the bargain we all make when we take animals on. I know how hard it is, and I dread getting to that stage with my own dog. I feel for you, I truly do.

But I can't condemn the vet for speaking out.
 
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