ANGRY!! She's always like this!!

KateandSpotlight said:
you sound very passionate about it and thats good, sounds like me at your age! :) But they are such a big responsibility (not that I'm saying you cant cope with it) but they take up a lot of time, and they are hard work! especially if your going to keep him in a field and not on a livery yard (i assume from previous posts?)

What if this pony hadnt been offered to you, would you still be as keen to get one? There are always ponies/horses that people offer cheap or even free.

I really think that for the moment you go to a riding school/ PC, get used to working with horses and looking after them and see if you can share/loan one with someone else, you'll then get a lot more support than doing it by yourself and its cheaper. Then in a few years once you can do what you like you can get your own! :D
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Wow re-reading my posts makes me look pathetic:L, right, If he hadn't have been offered I would still be looking, i've been looking for years , only proper looking now I can afford and him being offered to me is an added bonus, and it's so good! I've been offered him on full loan free, or free to a good home if I get his passport. I would love to loan him wvtb xx
 
Black.Shadow said:
I'll still go.. and if I can't make it some friends in the village offered to check on him and feed him for me, but i'll try my best!!
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Ah, and this is the crux. Your pony, your responsibility - you have to be able to get there, you cannot rely on anyone else to do this pony for you.

Please Black.Shadow - you are simply not in the position to take full responsibility for a pony yet.

Wait until the future.
 
Black.Shadow said:
Wow re-reading my posts makes me look pathetic:L, right, If he hadn't have been offered I would still be looking, i've been looking for years , only proper looking now I can afford and him being offered to me is an added bonus, and it's so good! I've been offered him on full loan free, or free to a good home if I get his passport. I would love to loan him wvtb xx
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aw dont think of yourself as pathetic! this is something you really want, ive been there and done that!

i once did a power point presentation to my dad on why i wanted and why i should have a horse hehe :p
 
I agree with KateandSpotlight. Would you be so desperate to have a horse now if this shetty hadnt been offered to you? Also, if you have worked out now that you can afford it and have somewhere to keep it would you not be better off looking or advertising for something more useful to you as an everyday pony. To go through all that hassle with your mum for a pony which (not knowing how tall/heavy you are etc) would not make a good pony for you every day. Good luck anyway. Personally I would have done it if it was somewhere that I could get to easily and did not even have to think about asking for help to check on it. My parents could never afford a horse or pony. I got my first loan arab at 23 and then bought my warmblood boy when i was 24 :)
 
Ah, i'm two-ways about it, my friend has offered to 'share'.. I know this seems really fake.. My friend has offered to share him with me and pay weekly..
:o
I don't know!!
 
I wish my son had been as determined as you!

I haven't read all the posts but you sound so committed and organised, it seems a shame your mum can't encourage this. After all, many girls your age just want to be "famous" or spend their money hanging round town centres and getting fighting drunk.

If this pony is as good as you say, it would be good therapy for your little brother to be around it. Horses/ponies can be very healing.

Would your mother be prepared to go and see the pony? If she could see how much it means to you she may come round.
 
Sam_1985 said:
I agree with KateandSpotlight. Would you be so desperate to have a horse now if this shetty hadnt been offered to you? Also, if you have worked out now that you can afford it and have somewhere to keep it would you not be better off looking or advertising for something more useful to you as an everyday pony. To go through all that hassle with your mum for a pony which (not knowing how tall/heavy you are etc) would not make a good pony for you every day. Good luck anyway. Personally I would have done it if it was somewhere that I could get to easily and did not even have to think about asking for help to check on it. My parents could never afford a horse or pony. I got my first loan arab at 23 and then bought my warmblood boy when i was 24 :)
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I really do want a shetland however unbelievable it sounds.. I don't mean to come across as silly or selfish by saying 'no' to everyone's ideas. I do see where you're all coming from.
 
Tammytoo said:
I wish my son had been as determined as you!

I haven't read all the posts but you sound so committed and organised, it seems a shame your mum can't encourage this. After all, many girls your age just want to be "famous" or spend their money hanging round town centres and getting fighting drunk.

If this pony is as good as you say, it would be good therapy for your little brother to be around it. Horses/ponies can be very healing.

Would your mother be prepared to go and see the pony? If she could see how much it means to you she may come round.
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The thing is, I know she'd see him and fall inlove. Which is why I wasn't going to tell her!! :') She is a pony lover and I really do think it would help Jamie(brother) calm down. Especially if he had something to focus on, ie; do homework - groom the pony, Do you see what I mean? Also, thank you:) I hate shopping;) hahaa not a normal teen I know:p
xx
 
amymay said:
Indeed. But they come with the horse, you don't buy it as part of ownership separately.
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oh right.. :o
She rescued him and 3 others from being shot and none were passported..
And she said if I had him on loan I didn't have to buy his passport, so I may just loan him.
 
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I haven't read every reply on this thread (purely because I'm feeling too lazy today :-p) My mum was exactly the same as yours. I started working as soon as i turned 16 and didnt take me long to save up enough for a horse, yet my mum kept saying no! At the age of 21 (15 yrs of wanting my own horse!), I had moved out and 'thought' I had worked out the finances of keeping a horse. I got a beautiful gelding on loan, but soon realised there is ALOT you forget about when working out costs -mainly the little bits!- I soon found that all my money was going on rent and bills at home and the horse. Now, I wouldnt have changed this for the world as I loved him more than anything, but I have recently had to give him up due to finding out I'm pregnant and the amount of extra money I now have in my account is unbelievable. You really don't realise how much they cost to keep until you have one (no matter how long you spend working out finances etc!) also, You say this pony is a shetland? if you are going to spending so much money on a the upkeep of a horse, would you not prefer something you can ride and do more with? Shetlands aren't always the cheapest to keep, they can be prone to lami which can mean vet bills. There is only so much insurance will cover and even then, a majority of time you have to pay the first X amount of the costs.
 
Black.Shadow said:
I appreciate where you're coming from, it's just I am financially stable enough i'm sure of it, and he's been offered to me on a plate, it's too good an opportunity to miss.. I'm stuck:')
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There are a lot of horses and ponies wanting homes at the moment... just because he's been offered to you "free" (I am also wary about the buying his passport thing, that sounds like a dodgy way to sell him to you), that shouldn't influence you.

I know this might sound patronising and it isn't intended to be. I understand what it's like to desperately want a horse or pony. I ended up having to wait until in my forties. All I ever wanted as a child/teen was a pony and that was something I never got. Parents couldn't afford it and we lived in a city. But I did a paper round to pay for lessons, worked at the local riding school and got a lot of experience. (I know that isn't the same as having your own).

I know you said there aren't any shares locally - but it is worth sticking with trying to find one. Have you tried local tack shop noticeboards, preloved etc?

I really would steer clear of the shetland, the passport thing sounds very dodgy. It's like saying "you can have this car free but you'll need to buy the V5". If you give a horse away, you give the passport with it. End of. There are other animals out there so even if you are dead set on having a shetland, there are others.

Good luck!
 
Black.Shadow said:
oh right.. :o
She rescued him and 3 others from being shot and none were passported..
And she said if I had him on loan I didn't have to buy his passport, so I may just loan him.
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Ok, this will probably be my last post on this - and you are not to take offence, because what I'm about to say is not an attack on you.

However, alarm bells go off for me everytime I hear the word 'rescue' and then 'sell' - and especially selling to a youngster who has no parental support in for the care of the pony.

If these ponies are genuine rescues - then they don't need to be rescued a second or third time. They should stay with their rescuers to live out their days.

I hate people like the one who is prepared to 'sell' you this pony - or it's passport, whichever you can afford.

Take the responsible and adult attitude OP - and say 'thanks, but no thanks'.
 
OldNag said:
There are a lot of horses and ponies wanting homes at the moment... just because he's been offered to you "free" (I am also wary about the buying his passport thing, that sounds like a dodgy way to sell him to you), that shouldn't influence you.

I know this might sound patronising and it isn't intended to be. I understand what it's like to desperately want a horse or pony. I ended up having to wait until in my forties. All I ever wanted as a child/teen was a pony and that was something I never got. Parents couldn't afford it and we lived in a city. But I did a paper round to pay for lessons, worked at the local riding school and got a lot of experience. (I know that isn't the same as having your own).

I know you said there aren't any shares locally - but it is worth sticking with trying to find one. Have you tried local tack shop noticeboards, preloved etc?

I really would steer clear of the shetland, the passport thing sounds very dodgy. It's like saying "you can have this car free but you'll need to buy the V5". If you give a horse away, you give the passport with it. End of. There are other animals out there so even if you are dead set on having a shetland, there are others.

Good luck!
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I know but they said I could have him on loan for however long I wanted without buying his passport - I know I sound vain and desperate. I am sorry, and I know it seems silly but if I could just loan and then he can go back if the owner decides to pull any funny business. And that sounds wrong, I don't intend it to. I mean, if he's not 'mine' then I can always send him back if there's problems. I don't know how to say that without making it sound like he's a toy!

Okay - I think i'm going to steer clear and find a ridden loan. I realise how much I miss riding but I'm so desperate for a horse. Thanks for your help everyone!
 
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Black.Shadow said:
I mean, if he's not 'mine' then I can always send him back if there's problems. I don't know how to say that without making it sound like he's a toy!
Beleive me, regardless whether or not the horse is yours, you still think of them as your own and giving them up, for whatever reason, i the hardest thing ever. If there's problems, you should be prepared to get them sorted, not just ship him back to his owner. What if it was a horse/pony you had bought. If a problem appeared, would you just sell it?
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Black.Shadow said:
I know but they said I could have him on loan for however long I wanted without buying his passport - I know I sound vain and desperate. I am sorry, and I know it seems silly but if I could just loan and then he can go back if the owner decides to pull any funny business. And that sounds wrong, I don't intend it to. I mean, if he's not 'mine' then I can always send him back if there's problems. I don't know how to say that without making it sound like he's a toy!

Okay - I think i'm going to steer clear and find a ridden loan. I realise how much I miss riding but I'm so desperate for a horse. Thanks for your help everyone![/QUOTE]

very sensible. you'll be so much better off :D
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KateandSpotlight said:
Black.Shadow said:
I know but they said I could have him on loan for however long I wanted without buying his passport - I know I sound vain and desperate. I am sorry, and I know it seems silly but if I could just loan and then he can go back if the owner decides to pull any funny business. And that sounds wrong, I don't intend it to. I mean, if he's not 'mine' then I can always send him back if there's problems. I don't know how to say that without making it sound like he's a toy!

Okay - I think i'm going to steer clear and find a ridden loan. I realise how much I miss riding but I'm so desperate for a horse. Thanks for your help everyone![/QUOTE]

very sensible. you'll be so much better off :D
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:D:D
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Black.Shadow said:
Okay - I think i'm going to steer clear and find a ridden loan. I realise how much I miss riding but I'm so desperate for a horse. Thanks for your help everyone!
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Wel done you do come across as thinking things through and I think you will be better off long term finding a share pony for a while which hopefully your mother would aprove of you doing and you will be able to say that you have respected her not wanting you to get your own and that you are compromising by not having the sole responsibility of a pony but will just do a certain amount of days a week. you may also find that on those days your brother would enjoy doing a bit of grooming or just stroking the pony which could help him and would be a good arguement later on for getting your own. try asking your mother if you can sit down at some point to talk with her listening for 10 minutes over a cup of tea (you make it ;) ) and when you do say that you are agreeing with her and not getting the pony but instead you really do want to find one to share a couple of days a week. if she still says no ask her quietly and calmly why not and then listen to everything she says before you answer so you stay calm and can answer her or at least understand why she is not happy about it otherwise you are bashing your head against a wall because you have no real reason why she is saying no. it could also make her see you as an adult instead of her child and she may then be more willing to come round.
 
crabbymare said:
Wel done you do come across as thinking things through and I think you will be better off long term finding a share pony for a while which hopefully your mother would aprove of you doing and you will be able to say that you have respected her not wanting you to get your own and that you are compromising by not having the sole responsibility of a pony but will just do a certain amount of days a week. you may also find that on those days your brother would enjoy doing a bit of grooming or just stroking the pony which could help him and would be a good arguement later on for getting your own. try asking your mother if you can sit down at some point to talk with her listening for 10 minutes over a cup of tea (you make it ;) ) and when you do say that you are agreeing with her and not getting the pony but instead you really do want to find one to share a couple of days a week. if she still says no ask her quietly and calmly why not and then listen to everything she says before you answer so you stay calm and can answer her or at least understand why she is not happy about it otherwise you are bashing your head against a wall because you have no real reason why she is saying no. it could also make her see you as an adult instead of her child and she may then be more willing to come round.
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thank you for the advice, i lol'ed at the (make the tea) bit ;)
 
My mum kicked me out at 16-I screwed up at school and she decided that as I hadn't got myself in a position to get a proper job, then I'd just have to slum it.

It was rubbish-poorly paid racing yard job-but I learnt loads!

If I were you, op, I'd save as much as I could, wait til I was 17, learn to drive and get a car. They cost more than horses at that age! But the independence is more than worth it. Opens up more opportunities too. If you still want to do the horsey thing, maybe look for a job on a stud or something? Save even more and you could have a deposit for a flat or something.

Save money=car and accomodation-more job choices.

Save money for pony=big tie-no spare cash for much else, no spare time.

Think about where you want to be in a year/five years/ten etc.
 
Roughly where are you op ? Someone on here might be willing to offer you some riding, handling for a bit of poo picking /mucking out. If your as sensible for your age as you seem maybe pop an advert in a locals tack shop.

That might prove to your mum if you can do the winter, wet frozen mornings and the summer sun that you can stick at a horse :D
 
wallykissmas said:
Roughly where are you op ? Someone on here might be willing to offer you some riding, handling for a bit of poo picking /mucking out. If your as sensible for your age as you seem maybe pop an advert in a locals tack shop.

That might prove to your mum if you can do the winter, wet frozen mornings and the summer sun that you can stick at a horse :D
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Just outside of Skipton, North Yorkshire, but I wouldn't be able to get to Skipton each day, maybe twice a week. That's why I was looking at something closer
 
I know others have mentioned RDA and a quick search shows a group in Skipton. By volunteering with them you could get your "horsey fix" whilst saving your money for the future. It's also something your brother could get involved with and so your mum could also see how passionate you are and over time might change her stance. Volunteering would also look good on your CV for any future job / college /uni applications. RDA work is very rewarding and can't function without volunteers - I'm sure a fit, enthusiastic teenager who was reliable would be most welcome.
 
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