Annoyed with friend - Rant alert!

[sleepykitten]

Three years ago, a friend of mine said she was looking to buy a horse. She works running her own business from home so said she had the time and money to keep one. I'd just bought my steady neddy who you can leave for weeks in the field and when you next get on, she's the same horse you last rode. Ideal for me as I work full time and can only really ride at weekends.

Said friend is not the world's most experienced or confident jockey, so I suggested looking for something a bit like mine, something like a schoolmaster, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt type of thing.

She said she wanted something faster and more exciting, and flashier. So she goes and buys an ex-racehorse! I spoke to her at length, having had an ex-racehorse myself years back, and said ex-racehorse being responsible for my loss of confidence, I explained that most of them need to have a strict routine, with plenty of exercise etc etc etc. She duly ignored all this.

When she got him, she put him straight into a stable and neither rode him, nor turned him out for over a month. all this time, she was giving him two big feeds a day. Then when she finally turned him out, he refused point blank to ever go in his stable again! Hardly blame the poor thing.

In the three years that she has owned him, she has ridden him four times. she did get a friend to ride him for a bit, but that has now gone by the wayside.

Horse is now out 24/7 come rain, shine, hail, sleet or snow with no rug on. He still gets two big feeds a day, has not seen a farrier/been wormed for over twelve months and I was told recently by someone else who is concerned, that he's been lame for months and she has not even got the vet to see him.

Why why why does she keep him??!!!

I haven't said anything out and out to her (she's not a close friend) but maybe I should? Everytime I touch on the subject, she says she's going to get back on him, that she's not scared of him (he went up with her in the field the last time she got on and she hasn't touched him since)

Should I say something??

Cuppa and a toasted teacake for reading

 

[milesjess]

I think you should say something for the horses sake. If she's not a close friend you have nothing to lose. It sounds like she's either in denial or too embarassed to admit she got it wrong... Which yeah we all do but she needs yo see sense asap.

Failing that, if she doesn't listen can you approach her yard manager and express your concern? Or even ilph, as it sounds like a welfare issue and he's now suffering?

I can imagine it's a hard position to be in but just think of her horse and his quality of life... Or lack of it

Maybe if your in a position to help her then offer?

Hope it works out.

 

[FionaM12]

Sounds like she's seriously in denial.

Horses becoming a field ornament when owners lose confidence seems very common, but the concerning thing about this case is the suggestion of neglect. You must be close-ish to her to know he hasn't been wormed etc (no-one else knows when I've wormed mine), so perhaps you could offer to help?

Is it possible she hasn't noticed he's lame? It may not be obvious to her if he's just ambling about in the field. Maybe you could carefully point it out.

If she really doesn't want your help or suggestions, I think you just have to leave it. Unless it's a clear case of cruelty, It's not really our business how others keep their horses.

I do understand your concern though.

 

[sleepykitten]

Thanks, she keeps the horse at home, but someone else in the village had noticed he was lame.

I've offered countless times to help her lunge him, and help her get back on him. I've even taken mine down to the village and offered to come out with her but she just makes up an excuse.

I won't get on him myself as I lost my confidence a few years back and its only just returning on my steeds so don't want to fall off someone elses!

Maybe i should just bite the bullet and say something, just shes friends with a lot of my friends so could go t*ts up if i'm not careful!

 

[luckyoldme]

Realisticly there is nothing you can do here. This is the ladies own horse on her own land. He is fed and watered and unless he is seriously neglected its not a problem to any one. I try to stand back now from anyone elses horsemanship ..If she hasnt asked for your help or turned your help down it is unlikely to be appreciated.

 

[Achinghips]

Well, ex racehorses are two a penny. Now he's lame and he will need reschooling. She'll never find another home even if she wanted to and was giving him away. Very sad.

 

[noblesteed]

Achinghips is right! What would she do with him if she decided she wasn't keeping him anyway? Noone would buy a lame ex-racehorse off her anyway! Make an excuse to go up and see him then assess whether he is lame - if she is a total novice she might not even realise! If he is then tell her to get the vet. That's about as much as you can do really.
There are 3 neglected horses in a field in the village where I work and I have reported them to WHW several times but nothing has been done. Their feet haven't been done for years. They are still there! I think if they have access to food and water then they are left alone. The man who owns them is the same - keeps telling people he is going to ride them. We think he is mentally ill. Very sad!

 

[sleepykitten]

I know Achinghips is definitely right - whats more, he's now coming on 17!! No-one will want him. I just can't understand why she bought something like that! She has asked me in the past if she can come and ride mine to "get her back in the swing of things" - I even said yes and she has never appeared!

I think she thought he was a status symbol or something - got a business, got a flash car, got an (ex) racehorse!

Oh dear.