Annoyed with myself!!

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PrancingPoniesxx

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So today after a bad lesson (me not the pony ) last time I cancelled my lesson for tonight. Feel like such an idiot but I just am not enjoying it atm. I love horses defo don't wanna stop riding but just not happy with my lessons at the moment!
I feel like I can't do anything right and tbh I feel like I'm not enjoying riding anymore
Had anyone got any tips for me to get some confidence back and stop cancelling lessons
Btw Changing RS isn't an option
 
There is no point making yourself go, and no need to feel an idiot :) I would arrange to go hacking and enjoy it a bit more if possible, and talk to your instructor about how you are feeling, they may be able to help alter the lessons. If you feel like you don't want to go and you are making yourself, you will just feel worse. Have a break if you need it!
 
There's only one instructor and no other RS around us! The nearest is about an hour away
My lessons are too late to go hacking (7) and the yard dosnt do that anyway.
I'm a bit stuck bc I need to show my parents I'm committed enough to get my own horse (I know I would enjoy it a lot more on my own pony doing my own thing)
The yards a nice enough yard but only around 8 ponies and pretty small!
It makes em envy everyone in England who seem to have RS everywhere!
 
If you're forcing yourself (and clearly failing) to have lessons, how can you prove you're commited enough to own your own horse in your own mind, let alone trying to convince your parents? It's supposed to be fun, and there's a whole lot more commitment required when you own your own horse, which goes without saying.

You need to sort something out, OP. Either give yourself a kick up the rear and stop cancelling lessons, change RS (although you say that's not possible), or take a break and come back to riding at a later date.
 
As the above poster says, you DO need to be more committed. You'll have bad days with your own pony too, and it will be harder as you can't just cancel going to see your own pony as they still need mucking out, feeding, and riding! Having your own pony is not all perfect and wonderful, it's hard work and all of them present their own challenges. If you're not enjoying your riding because you don't think you're good enough, that is not going to change when you get your own.
 
Okay. Let's have a little chat, OP.

* How long have you been learning to ride?

* What is it that you're stuck with and not getting right?

Riding is hard. It's hard work and it's hard to master. It takes lots of practice. You've got to be prepared to work through the difficult spots.

BUT - although everything everyone above has said is true, let's have a look at why your confidence is shaken (before we all give you the full kick-up-the-butt talk :D).

So. What's the story? Tell us what happens in your lessons.
 
I've been riding for over four years
I've been stuck with a lot of things but mainly my jumping at the moment because the pony I ride seems to always be veering to the left after a jump and my instructor shouts at me to keep him straight which is hard because he's pretty strong
I'm getting scared to jump higher and it dosnt help that a lot of people are watching me from the room beside the arena and I feel as though there critiscing me. I also find it hard to keep the flow going into jumps.

I can't take a break from riding without having to give it up completely because there's a lot of people who want lessons because it's the only riding school near me and we had to basically beg to get it at a time that I would actually be home from school at.
I love being on the ground with ponies tacking up, grooming and even mucking out. And I love flatwork.
It's just the jumping that's freaking me out now but the instructor mainly decides what to do not me..
The main reason I'm cancelling is because I really really not enjoying jumping.
It's partly down to the pony I ride being complicated (dosnt stay straight , strides etc so I have to focus on him and keep him right rather than working on myself.
Theres about 2 more ponies there at an ok height for me to ride but one is a thoroughbred and the other is a cob.
 
Nothing will improve without communication. Tell your instructor you don't want to jump for the time being, you shouldn't be doing so in every lesson anyway IMO. And say that you would like to improve your flat work skills and riding as many horses as possible so you learn to ride different ones.
 
Righto. This seems pretty straightforward then. So you're not a jumper. No big deal. You don't have to be. Lord knows, I'm not and never have been, and have still had a fun and rewarding life in the saddle.

And you've been riding for four years and you love flatwork. Soooo... seems to me you might be a show or dressage rider at heart. Four years of lessons is long enough to figure out what your discipline is. Or isn't.

Talk to your instructor and tell them how you feel and that you'd like to concentrate on flatwork and/or dressage specifically. You have every right to ask for this. They probably think they're giving you a good, all-round riding education by including the jumping - and they are - but there's nothing wrong with deciding to play to your strengths and specialise in one discipline. And, I don't know obviously, but maybe the instructor feels strongest in jumping so that's what s/he likes to concentrate on. (ETA - and as ester suggested, riding different horses is also part of a well-rounded riding education. Also, don't be afraid of thoroughbreds! They get a bad rap but they can be unbelievably great horses.)

You can always go back to a bit of jumping in a while. Your confidence will have improved by then and you might enjoy a little mental break from all the flatwork.

As for the people watching and judging you - well, here's where you have to put on your big girl pants and harden up. They're probably not watching and judging you anywhere near as much as you think. But even if they are - stuff 'em! It really doesn't matter what they think. (I know this is easy for me to say because I'm a grumpy old woman who has had years of practice at this, but trust me, developing a thicker skin is a great life skill!) You're probably your own worst critic too. Here are two things I know:

* The mistakes you make you think are this big (----------) are really only this big (---) to anyone else. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't sweat it. That's what lessons are for.

* You probably say worse things to yourself than anyone else will. Don't let your own brain get in the way.
 
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LadySam said:
Righto. This seems pretty straightforward then. So you're not a jumper. No big deal. You don't have to be. Lord knows, I'm not and never have been, and have still had a fun and rewarding life in the saddle.

And you've been riding for four years and you love flatwork. Soooo... seems to me you might be a show or dressage rider at heart. Four years of lessons is long enough to figure out what your discipline is. Or isn't.

Talk to your instructor and tell them how you feel and that you'd like to concentrate on flatwork and/or dressage specifically. You have every right to ask for this. They probably think they're giving you a good, all-round riding education by including the jumping - and they are - but there's nothing wrong with deciding to play to your strengths and specialise in one discipline. And, I don't know obviously, but maybe the instructor feels strongest in jumping so that's what s/he likes to concentrate on. (ETA - and as ester suggested, riding different horses is also part of a well-rounded riding education. Also, don't be afraid of thoroughbreds! They get a bad rap but they can be unbelievably great horses.)

You can always go back to a bit of jumping in a while. Your confidence will have improved by then and you might enjoy a little mental break from all the flatwork.

As for the people watching and judging you - well, here's where you have to put on your big girl pants and harden up. They're probably not watching and judging you anywhere near as much as you think. But even if they are - stuff 'em! It really doesn't matter what they think. (I know this is easy for me to say because I'm a grumpy old woman who has had years of practice at this, but trust me, developing a thicker skin is a great life skill!) You're probably your own worst critic too. Here are two things I know:

* The mistakes you make you think are this big (----------) are really only this big (---) to anyone else. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't sweat it. That's what lessons are for.

* You probably say worse things to yourself than anyone else will. Don't let your own brain get in the way.
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This is a really good answer from ladysam! Nothing else to add
 
Ladysam makes good points

Except imagine you were riding a horse that did a good job and didnt make jumping difficult would you still dislike it?
or they put you on a horse for flatwork that kept napping and trying to get to the gate and you couldn't stop him. Would you still enjoy flatwork?

Hate to be hard on you but chances are when you get a horse or pony you will have these issues. If you don't learn how to deal with difficulties now then you won't be able to when you get your own.

Riding horses outside a riding school environment is a LOT harder, they soon learn your weakness a take advantage.

So it's good your rs has ponies that can be a pain. BUT and IT'S A BIG BUT your instructor shouldn't just be yelling at you to keep him straight, she should be telling you exactly what to do to keep him straight! Honestly that is what a good instructor does. They will say things like more left leg, put more weight in you left or right seat bone etc
 
soulfull said:
So it's good your rs has ponies that can be a pain. BUT and IT'S A BIG BUT your instructor shouldn't just be yelling at you to keep him straight, she should be telling you exactly what to do to keep him straight! Honestly that is what a good instructor does. They will say things like more left leg, put more weight in you left or right seat bone etc
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Exactly. This is why concentrating on flatwork for a while would be good. OP feels she is being ignored as a rider in the current situation in favour of the pony's technical jumping work. Flatwork should bring more attention to her riding with the instructor focusing more on her. That and riding a variety of horses would put her in a better position to deal with riding problems and problem horses in future.
 
You will never enjoy it until you find the right horse and school. You are the paying customer so you need to say I don't want to jump at the moment I feel I need to focus on flat work.
 
I wouldn't jump if you don't enjoy it its an expensive hobby so you dictate whatever you want to do in your lesson not the other way round, I haven't jumped for years and have no intention to either I am quite happy doing flat work and hacking nowt wrong with that.
 
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