Ant one got a shoulder to moan on !!!!!!

J

julielavender

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I feel a bit daft actually puitting this down, but I would be interested to hear views on it. I joined a new livery yard in east kent three weeks ago, having never had livery before. I have always had my horses at home, but due to divorce had to move out. Any way, I have a lovely new youngster after retiring my old hunter, and a new yard too. Every one seems really friendly except one person who seems to be obsessed with questioning every thing I do. She constantly questions who I had to vet him and as she dosnt know thme, has told everyone I am lying!!!!! I have owned horses for 36 years. I have taken the path of going to the yard when she isnt there and dont want to upset the applecart as everyone seems to think the sun shines out of her ......! So a bit pathetic, I know, but she is really getting to me, any advice would be gratefully appreciated
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Ignore her and dont answer any of her questions
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If she asks you anything either say, oh hang on a min..... and go somewhere or say you cant remember....

Regarding the vetting, just bring a copy of the certificate and staple it to your horses door ..... that will make her look stupid!!!!

Failing that tell her to butt out and leave you alone
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You will probably find in time that not everyone thinks she is brill
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Thank you, yes you are right. My husband says the same, I think she's testing the water with me!. I was going to put his vets cert on his door, but then thought 'i have nothing to prove'! Its just like being back at school
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Sounds as if she realises you are quite experienced and doesn't like you raining on her parade so to speak! She may have been top dog on this yard and thinks you are going to be a problem for her so she is belitting you to try and keep her place. Ignore her and enjoy your horse.
 
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I dont want to upset the applecart as everyone seems to think the sun shines out of her ......!

[/ QUOTE ]

They probably don't, they just know what a mouth-on-wheels she can be, and agree with her to avoid the risk of her starting to go off at them. Keeping out of her way is almost certainly the best bet, or just smile and say sweetly "really? How interesting" to everything she says to you.

I am sure if everyone is friendly, they will warm up to you soon, andyou'll have plenty of allies against the old bag.
 
It definaly sounds like shes threatened by you or if your horse is particulary nice and people on the yard have been commenting??? someone like her would absolutely hate that
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Oh dear, I feel for you, I really do.
Livery yards can be terribly bitchy places (all those women in one place) and since you have always had your horse at home before, you have been spared the drama.
One of my horseless friends is always keen to hear the latest horsy chat from me as she swears it's better than any soap opera!

I would agree that your tormentor is probably feeling threatened, she's probably insecure at heart.
It's a shame that you have had to resort to avoiding her. I hope that this won't affect your enjoyment of your horse.

Have patience, keep smiling, and above all, breathe.
Best of luck
xx
 
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certainly the best bet, or just smile and say sweetly "really? How interesting" to everything she says to you.


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OMG I just read that and realised that is what I say whenever someone starts trying to tell me something I'm not interested in!
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It's obviously standard code for bog off and bother somene else!
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Hi,
IN myview, whenever you get a group of women together then there is always going to be, shall we say "politics".

I used to have horses at home, grew up with it infact, and no wlivery - until we have our own place with land.

I think for whatever reason, you may be a threat to her. This sounds like the typical behaviour of someone trying to belittle you to feel better about themselves.

Act with an air of dignity, give her no answers to her questions - pretty much like a politician really. Control the conversation if she does approach - nice and vague and turn things gently back on her. Don't seek her out, just get on with your own things.

There is always one unfortunately, I had a lady that would purposefully make loud noises with spooky objects when I was riding my youngster.
Little did she realise she did him the world of good, believe me that was not her intention!
She would comment if he spooked that he was "not competition material" and that had "she been assessing youngsters" then she would not have chosen him.
What the? I mean this woman was a happy hacker, and had no experience in youngsters, competition or dressage!

Don't feel silly for posting, as you are not alone!
Good luck
 
You sound as though you have a very experienced head on your shoulders
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Thank you for your reply, all the feedabck is really helping me put it all in perspective X
 
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