Anxiety\fear getting worse

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Windy day

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Please no judgement as could not take it at the moment
Stuggling with fear of riding
New horse had just under a year, not cantered him yet, spend most of time in walk in school
Had others ride him, had lessons
He has not put a foot wrong, apart from needing to be held at mounting block
Just can't seem to get over this crippling fear of the what could happen
Any wise words
 
If its been a year, I think you can safely say this isn't something that is going to go away by itself or that isn't worth taking seriously. So invest in a solution. I would consider a sports psychologist. There may also be riding instructors near you who specialise in rider confidence but I think a psychologist with some experience of riding would be better than a rider with some experience in psychology.
 
I'm so sorry you feel this way, it must be very upsetting for you. I can only echo other posters and say please get professional help, such as a sports pyschologist, or be happy not to ride your horse. There are plenty of things you can do from the ground if you prefer, I hope you find a solution you feel comfortable with, good luck.
 
Sports Psych.

I've been doing sessions for a little while now after feeling I had done all I could in lessons and from reading/watching videos etc. I wish I had started sooner!

A good instructor is essential but not always enough. I have encountered 'confidence specialists' who are good teachers but perhaps don't have that additional bit of psychology understanding needed when things get really stuck.
 
Lots of sympathy. I agree with previous replies, it isn't going away with what you are doing now, so try something else. You've done the right things in keeping yourself safe and also in having lessons, and letting other people demonstrate that the horse is safe when ridden by others. Unfortunately sometimes these things don't build confidence. You're doing well in that you can get on the horse and walk, maybe trot - that's sometimes the hardest bit. And the horse, bless him, has done nothing wrong. You can build on that.

I haven't tried psychologists or other pros of this kind so can't comment, but I know for myself that the thing that works if I have a wobble is to very gradually push a tiny bit beyond my comfort zone until the tiny bit becomes your new comfort zone. The initial push is hard, but you won't get there without momentarily being braver than you want.

In your case that might mean pushing the horse from a walk into the smallest of jogs, and then walk again. Repeat until you can keep the jog going a little longer. If it feels ok, ask for a little more trot. Etc. Until a circle of the school in trot actually feels ok - not just 'phew, we survived' but normal. Same with jumping, when you get to that (if you want to) - take things up inch by inch, coming back down if you want to. Be slow and repetitive, until you get to a point it doesn't make your heart race.
 
As above, professional help. You could also think of other ways you might enjoy a horse, if riding isn't for you (bearing in mind that a nervous rider is no fun for the horse, either). Horse agility, for example, is great fun and improves your handling skills no end.

Since you mention your horse has to be held at the mounting block it might also be worth spending some time trying to find out why - yes, sometimes it's habit or a skill that was never properly trained at the beginning, but horses that seem fine in other ways can sometimes express physical discomfort at the mounting block (while being ok once the rider is up).
 
Burnttoast said:
Since you mention your horse has to be held at the mounting block it might also be worth spending some time trying to find out why - yes, sometimes it's habit or a skill that was never properly trained at the beginning, but horses that seem fine in other ways can sometimes express physical discomfort at the mounting block (while being ok once the rider is up).
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Even if it is just a habit with no deeper meaning, it sets every ride off to a tense start! Definitely worth investigating.
 
Are you the same on other horses? If not, could you have a few lessons/hacks on a horse you're confident riding to help get back into the swing of things?
Are you more confident with an observer? If you feel better about riding when there's an instructor on the ground, could you enlist a friend to watch you ride in-between lessons? Or hack out in company with some calm horses/riders?
It's also worth considering matters outside of riding- if you're stressed at work/home you'll be left with less ability to cope when riding.
As others have said, having a professional out to help with your confidence specifically might help. Different people need different things to build their confidence- some people need to stay firmly within their comfort zone for a goodly while and build up incrementally, while others (myself included) find that giving themselves a bit of a shake and cracking on helps more - you'll know best which approach suits you, which may help determine your choice of coach.
 
You have had some great replies and if it helps I have had my horse 18m and not cantered him yet but it's coming!

What has helped me greatly has been regular lessons on a simulator, I had had a few years out of the saddle before I bought my new horse and the lessons have really helped with muscle memory, strength and confidence
 
Windy day said:
Please no judgement as could not take it at the moment
Stuggling with fear of riding
New horse had just under a year, not cantered him yet, spend most of time in walk in school
Had others ride him, had lessons
He has not put a foot wrong, apart from needing to be held at mounting block
Just can't seem to get over this crippling fear of the what could happen
Any wise words
Click to expand...

How old are you? Personal question I know but peri menopause killed my confidence and it wasn't until I had it pointed out to me on HHO.

ETA - cross posted with DM
 
Don't think about the ride. Just think "today I will sit on" usually once youre on youre fine, take the pressure off. just sitting on is a win. Even if you get on, walk 1 loop then get off.

Frequency with no bad associations is what will help. aslo get another rider to ride and you watch, then get on for sit at end. The more you put it off the more you built it up.

Get some good tall boots that help your position. not wellies or short boots if poss, I feel very unconfident / insecure without my tall boots strapping my legs in! An "oh shit strap" / neck strap may also give you mental security.
 
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Dave's Mam said:
Are you female & of a certain age? Menopause destroyed my confidence. Now with HRT & some very supportive friends, I am making good progress back to where I was before!
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There was a physical health element to my loss of confidence. Not hormonal but for me the sense of 'my body is not doing what I need it to do' was a big part of me losing confidence to such a severe degree. There probably is/was a nervous system dysregulation thing going on which definitely does not help!

Which reminds me that other than the sports psych, doing things off horse to help my physical fitness and balance etc. made a big difference. Physio too helped with posture and tension difficulties. Those have translated over well to my riding :)
 
You may in that case find your strength just isnt there which you're very concious of and will need building back up which is adding to your insecurity, start with walk, same loop hacks down the road and back, in company to start. You got this!

Edited to add, theres nothing wrong with starting on the ground, - leading out is a fab way to build trust in your steed :)
 
Hi, No judgement here! I have recently had a glitch. New horse, last summer. She was great but does have a bit of a tendancy to whip round and after a scary experience (for her) on the roads I'd noticed that actually I was finding excuses. It's hard but actually as Starbucker says above the more you put it off the worse you feel.
I was so angry at myself and miserable because I was backing out over any little thing.
Go tiny tiny baby steps. sit on, walk across the yard, do tiny bits within your comfort zone and build it up. Also agree that as its been a long time speaking to a professional may be a good idea.

Good Luck :)
 
Definitely mindset coaching from a pro. If you can find one who is also an instructor even better. Where are you based approx?
Mine didn't stand as riders were legged up so trained him to do so with a treat. Now a pat suffices.
Lots of us have been where you are.
Do you like your horse and do you want to ride?
 
See if you can find an accountability buddy on the yard (assuming you are on one) being on a yard with loads of supportive people to hold your hand per say helps alot. To walk out, sit by the arena while you ride etc.
 
If you are scared of riding may be riding is not for you.
But to find out, I would go to a local RS and ask for solo lessons on a succession of different horses.
In my second year of learning to ride, I deliberately went to several different riding schools and hacking centres in order to ride lots of different (safe) horses. I listed each one, aiming to clock up 100 horses which I eventually did.
I know all about the wonder of having a close relationship with one particular horse and riding them again and again - I have had three - But the general and the particular are not contradictory abilities - they are two different aspects of riding and being able to ride.
 
Are you ok on other horses? Could you have a few lessons at a local riding school on the slowest, ploddiest horse they have and see if you enjoy that?

Sometimes, confidence is horse specific. My daughter is completely fearless on her dad’s 3 year old. Backed and brought her on herself, will disappear into the distance out hacking, totally brave and bold. She’s normally more cautious - and I’ve just swapped this year’s youngster to her brother because it wasn’t a good fit for her.
 
You definitely have to do something different.

First, having a really good biomechanics coach was a game changer for me, it really helped me feel I was a lot more secure in the saddle and I have lots to think about to keep my brain busy.

Secondly, in hand work, preferably were you can have some fun and enjoy your horse. Look for in hand agility or TRT or something.

And if you really want to canter, teach your horse to canter off a voice command on the lunge. Then you can just concentrate on getting a good trot and not have to put yourself out of position when asking for canter.
 
Low iron and low B12 made me feel terrible. Might be worth going to the quack. Although make sure to check the results yourself or they can brush you off as being 'in range'
 
Nicnac said:
Definitely mindset coaching from a pro. If you can find one who is also an instructor even better. Where are you based approx?
Mine didn't stand as riders were legged up so trained him to do so with a treat. Now a pat suffices.
Lots of us have been where you are.
Do you like your horse and do you want to ride?
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Based in kent
Yes absolutely adore him, which makes it worse in some ways as really want to get on and enjoy him. Absolutely no reason not to
 
If you’re happy just walking and trotting that’s fine. He won’t mind. However if you want to canter maybe break it down in stages a bit or let some one else ride him first. In your situation my concern would be to ask for help in getting him to stand at the mounting block so you could get on and off easily. Remember quite often when starting out some instructors suggest you walk for weeks! Not always popular with gung-ho cowboy types but it can be effective. The best place to canter is often out on a hack for a short distance uphill rather than on a circle in a small school.
 
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