Any help - feel down in dumps

SeasonalSituation

SeasonalSituation

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Well I have had a pretty rubbish day today and appreciate some advice regarding the horse from a clear head, which isn't me right now. Erm my relationship has ended today and I'm pretty distraught, even ending up crying to both my mangers today at work and it reall is makin me a bit of a mess, I just can't believe how upsetting coming home to an empty house can be!

But I need your advice people, I don't know what to do about my horse. Now I'm having to pay for everything in full, rent, bills etc and am very scared that I won't be able to afford him. I think I can, but it'll be a push and as we all know with horses, just been able to Afford them often isnt enough.

So I don't know what to do, any ideas? At the moment it's all a mess and im realising that I'll lose both of the important things in my life. Cake, coffee and a well earned cig for those who got to the end :(
 
Super trooper - thanks for the hugs I need them right now! He's out during the day and in at night. I could change to grass livery, but his yard is five mins from my house, something that is a real advantage as I don't drive.

Paddi22 - hmmm I don't think I can. He has his issues, at the moment I can't even get a bridle on him and don't know how interested people would be in this.
 
Sorry to hear you're having such a crap time of it.
I've been there, single parent and had 3 horses and no income!

Best bit of advice I can give is put pen to paper!
Sit and make a list of all regular bills, include everthing and you will know if things add up.
Once you know for sure, you'll feel in some kind of control.
If not, you can act now rather than bury your head in the sand.

A cuppa and the ear of a good friend will get you through most of it.

Life's a biatch, but you can overcome anything with the right mindset :D
 
Ok, things that come to mind straight away.....

As someone says, write down your money coming in and going out. Look at changing utility suppliers as you may save some pennies that way. And where you shop for food and what you buy.

- could you get a lodger, will help out with bills

- look at all your horses outgoings, main things you can cut back on are feed and supplements, really think if what your giving him is nec. Brilliant that you're so close to yard. Also have you got any equipment lying round that can be sold.

- look at a sharer if nec

Hope this helps a little xx
 
No advice really I'm afraid as I'm very lucky to keep the horses on own land so fewer worries. However also sending big hugs your way, I split from my partner a few days ago (albeit luckily I have not relied on him monetary wise for anything due to our situations so don't have that concern) and also have been uncharacteristically weepy ever since and feeling absolutely rotten so I truely sympathise on the emotional front as I feel like a complete mess too atm and would struggle to make my brain process anything practical such as sums right now :(.

The only thing I can suggest from a monetary aspect is as others have mentioned and put pen to paper to check all the bills add up so you have a plan to stick to enabling you to know you will have enough money and so reduce worry, and/or source for somewhere you could put him at grass livery/rent a field nearby for a bit. Nothing ever seems to be easy/fall into place post breakup but Im sure if you stick with it things will hopefully perk up :).
 
Thank you everyone and sorry Mecca for your relationship too. It sucks right now. And I don't know what to do, will do my budget when my head is a bit clearer. I'm feeling very down at the moment.
 
I know what you mean, I keep getting the "oh so this is what being depressed feels like" feeling :(. Getting these delightful "tasters" has really made me feel even more for my friend who has battled permanent severe depression and is finally starting to become herself again. I find it helps if you think of people who are in a much worse position than you but are working through it, it gets me out of the depressive dumps a little as it makes you aware of just what the human spirit is capable of dealing with and gives you the inspiration to dig deep and try to crack on. That and keeping busy, allowing mum to treat me like her "little girl" again complete with lots of hugs and patience with the weepyness, and plenty of cuddles with the horses helps to keep the total weepy breakdowns at bay as much as possible! Hope things pick up as quickly/well as could be hoped for you :).
 
I cried twice at work, then when I got home to an empty house, then when I saw the horse, the ex oh pushed me to get him after all and it just seems to hurt. I feel really helpless at the moment, and just seem to be sat here with my iPod listening to sad music.
 
More hugs. Sad music is not a bad thing, let yourself cry. Don't even think about making a big decision right now, once you've done your budget you can reassess the situation if need be - I can personally recommend a lodger or a second job both as good ideas for extra income and also as things that will change your routine so that you are not always noticing the 'gap'.xxx
 
Right - SNAP OUT OF IT!! (not being mean... read on!)

Your EX OH doesnt deserve you - no one deserves to go through this much pain and upset. You have had your cry, now focus on the most important thing in your life - YOUR HORSE, who loves you for you, unconditionally. :)

I know you dont drive but, do you have a bike - if so change him to grass livery and look at your outgoings.

If you have CC see if you can change/balance transfers, shop around for the best deals.

What is your profession? Could you take on a second bar job? could you work at the yard to offset some of the livery bill.

I know you are hurting right now, but focus on your horse - and give him a big cuddle tomorrow xxxx
 
Could you move to a cheaper house? There are lots of options honestly, you have enough to upset you without what ifs, I know its hard but try not to think that way right now. You say you think you might be able to manage. In a few weeks with a clear head you might see that is the case and if not you can start looking into other options. Let yourself be upset but try not to panic. I really do know how you feel and its horrid :(
 
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