Any Shame In Someone Else Riding Your Horse?

I think the most precious and important thing you need when you ride is your confidence. We constantly strive to give it to our horses, so we must make sure we have enough for ourselves. I think you are very sensible to accept help, and proves what a knowledgable horse minded you are. There are PLENTY of successful, professional riders and producers of horses out there who seek help because they know its the right thing to do.
The very best of luck to you!
 
good for you CC, sounds like a great plan. I often get the girls on our yard to do things on my horses before I do - they are so much more confident!

Sorry if this is being a wet blanket but just make sure the girl's mum is ok with her riding your horse & you are clear about insurance arrangements etc - as she is not yet an adult I'd want to be extra careful about it all. In my youth nobody would have given it another thought but you cant be too careful nowadays!
 
tobiano said:
Sorry if this is being a wet blanket but just make sure the girl's mum is ok with her riding your horse & you are clear about insurance arrangements etc - as she is not yet an adult I'd want to be extra careful about it all. In my youth nobody would have given it another thought but you cant be too careful nowadays!
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This is very sad and very true :( I know someone at my old year that tried to sue another livery because their horses kicked each other in the school and he fell off and broke his arm. Utter maddness.

The girl's mum was there watching, she enjoyed it so that was all good. I'm insured, the pony is insured and the girl is insured too so hopefully that would be ok. Like you said though, you never know :(
 
AdorableAlice said:
Absolutely not, I had someone else on my horse pronto when I realised he was far too good for my meagre talent.

Horse went on to fabulous heights and I was the proud ringside owner jumping up and down cheering him on. Trophies and ribbons on my mantelpiece with no regrets.
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This is also what I did with my mare, I had a rent-a-daughter to event my mare as I can not jump her and mare knows it. I did all the fitness work and r-a-d did BE events on her and I have the rosettes in my kitchen.
 
I did this with my welsh cob. got so nervous that she would not jump.
Had her jump schooled once a week for about 6 weeks and hrlped me alot!
When I saw she was fine doing fillers, solid fences XC etc, I was so much happier and now we are a happy pair jumping together AND I now know when she does that the pi@@. :D
 
Kikke said:
I did this with my welsh cob. got so nervous that she would not jump.
Had her jump schooled once a week for about 6 weeks and hrlped me alot!
When I saw she was fine doing fillers, solid fences XC etc, I was so much happier and now we are a happy pair jumping together AND I now know when she does that the pi@@. :D
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This is what I want!! Did you find that she'd jump the fillers with you in the end because you'd seen her do it and she actually wasn't as scared as she made out when you were riding her?? That's how I felt yesterday so that's why I felt brave enough to do it afterwards :) Well, you've given me hope that me and my boy will be a jumping pair soon too :D
 
Cheshire Chestnut said:
In a nutshell: I have a green 6 year old Welsh D who I've started to jump over the last 6 months. He is a normal cheeky and energetic Welshie who likes to try it on when he can. I have 22 years experience riding and used to jump BSJA on my mare, but have since had 6 years off riding and now I'm back I've found I have totally lost my nerve in jumping (sensible gene seems to be on overdrive).

I'm having jumping lessons twice a month and I'm getting confident again, however when I'm alone without an instructor I go to pieces again! My poor boy picks up on my nerves and then gets all jumpy and silly, takes the mick spooking at jump blocks and then refuses small cross poles. There's a 14 year old girl on my yard who's a fabulous and kind rider, she has a pony that she jumps really well with and she's ridden my boy twice and jumped him with success. She's offered to jump him for me so I can watch and then get my confidence up from seeing that he CAN jump and that he's not scared. She said she will do fillers and the water tray on him for the first time too. My instructor said he's more than ready to be pushed now and doing fillers will be a great step for him.

Am I being a complete wimp by not doing them on him first or would me being a nervous wreck end up undoing all our hard work? People have made comments saying that I'm getting this girl to do the 'hard work' for me and that I should do it myself but I don't want to ruin his progress. I personally think it will do him good to have a confident rider on him as he loves jumping, I think I just put him off a bit. I WILL get back to being confident again, it will just take time and I'm not ready yet. Would you think there's a shame in it or is it normal? I've never been in this position before as I was never a nervous jumper in the past!
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If shes offered then why not? Will help her experience too! Nothing wrong with that, lots of people do it. Good luck :)
 
Cheshire Chestnut said:
I just get frustrated with myself thinking about what I would have done back when I was a teenager and how great he would have been as I would have had him at local shows doing clear round by now.
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I can really relate to this. I feel the same way sometimes because I know I'm much more careful - and yes, timid - than I was in years past.

But I think you're absolutely doing all the right things - taking lessons, getting a rider who can get over those hurdles that you're presently having trouble with, and keeping him going without potentially messing him up.

Wish I could find a 14 year old like that for my mare!
 
baymareb said:
I can really relate to this. I feel the same way sometimes because I know I'm much more careful - and yes, timid - than I was in years past.

But I think you're absolutely doing all the right things - taking lessons, getting a rider who can get over those hurdles that you're presently having trouble with, and keeping him going without potentially messing him up.

Wish I could find a 14 year old like that for my mare!
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It's the damn sensible gene! When I was 14 I didn't really weigh anything up as such - I just did it. Now I find myself way too much about the bad things that can happen, rather than just getting on with it!
 
It sounds like the perfect solution. Why not? I used to jump anything and everything, but one fall (after I'd had kids) and my confidence was shot. I had so much more pleasure watching my daughters school and jump, and that's basically the same situation.

I'm sure you're much younger than me and would like to jump again, (I'll stick to tiny logs now thanks!) but there's certainly no shame in letting a confident teenager help you out until such time as you feel able.

Good luck!
 
No shame at all and she's not doing the 'hard work', it sounds like a great idea. There's always lots of 'experts' ready to tell you what to do with your horse, just do what suits you and him :)
 
I'm in a similar situation.
I have two horses, one TBxID (my little mare) and one Ex-racehorse.
My ex-racehorse I've had for 7 years and before that I used to ride and look after him in the racing yard. He was given to me, we chucked him out in the field for 6 months to unwind then brought him back in to start work, after a month I broke my leg rather badly (nothing to do with him) so he was chucked out for another 6 months. He came back in to work well, my husband started riding him a bit as was the plan and all was good.
The last year or two has been hard. I now have two small children as well as the two horses and my nerves have got worse very gradually. The horse has spent more time being a pet than being ridden. This year I have been getting my mare going and gradually improving my confidence and so I planned to do the same for the ex-racehorse.
The problem is I am the wrong rider for him at the moment. I get on him and I know he's fresh so I'm anticipating naughtiness, but I get cross with him and tell him no. We don't achieve anything and I dread riding him again. There is a girl on my yard whose horse is on extended box-rest who has the last few weeks taken over my horse's exercise and it is wonderful! Sometimes I feel a bit pathetic for not being the one doing it, but mostly I enjoy being able to spend more time with my mare guilt free and I love getting the messages from her about how much she's enjoying him!
 
Its a great idea to have someone else ride your horse, and it sounds like the girl is having a ball as well.

I would, however, check the small print of your insurance to make sure you are fully covered. Are you paying her at all, either in kind or with money? This can alter things. Always better to be sure that you have the cover you need, rather than find out afterwards that you weren't covered after all. Maybe double check with the insurance company?
 
Ive got someone riding my young mare twice a week - part due to time but part due to confidence. The girls that rides her is great - v competent, and events and hunts regularly so is confident and rides really postively. I get good reports back from her and im already doing more with my mare than i would have done going it alone - which means im now doing a lot more with my mare, so a posiitve effect all round. Once my mare's flat work is at a decent level i will ask my rider to help take her jumping forward too. Its working really well for me and especially with the weather i dont feel so stressed if i dont ride twice at weekends.

If it works for you - go for it. Who cares what anyone elses says.
 
Tiddlypom said:
I would, however, check the small print of your insurance to make sure you are fully covered. Are you paying her at all, either in kind or with money? This can alter things. Always better to be sure that you have the cover you need, rather than find out afterwards that you weren't covered after all. Maybe double check with the insurance company?
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No, not paying her in any way at all, it was just she wanted to ride him and asked and I said yes. She has her own rider insurance and I have mine, hopefully that's what her rider insurance is there for? I hope so anyway :) What do other people do RE insurance with other people riding theirs? I've got all windy about it now after Google-ing it and a load of horror stories coming up! A lot seems to have changed in regards to this maddness of insurance from when I was a teenager it seems so any one else wondering the same?
 
No shame at all. There is far more shame in being one of those ignorant, arrogant, prideful and obnoxious people who won't ask for help even when they desperately need it.

Perhaps during a jumping session this young lady might be able to pop your boy over a few fences then you jump on and have some fun? She could be your surrogate trainer for moral support.

Sounds like you are more than capable, but letting that 'devil on your shoulder' work his evil magic!

He's your horse and only you can decide what you feel is best for both of you, screw everyone elses opinions!

I think having a capable rider give your horse sensibly ridden jumping experience is a great idea, just don't let yourself knock your confidence. She can jump him over whatever size fences he is ready for and you can just then get on and work over a few small cross poles until you feel ready to move onwards.

Best of luck and keep positive!
 
Illusion100 said:
Perhaps during a jumping session this young lady might be able to pop your boy over a few fences then you jump on and have some fun? She could be your surrogate trainer for moral support.
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That's what I ended up doing :) I didn't think I would but I took my hat to the school 'just incase' and then ended up getting on and cantering round the course myself on him after she'd ridden him. I would usually only jump from trot, however I cantered the whole thing so I was very pleased - looks like it improved my confidence from the first session :D
 
One more update:

I had another jumping lesson on Friday and I jumped fillers!! :D My instructor started by putting them apart so we could trot and then canter through them. She then moved them closer and closer and we repeated trot/canter through until they were touching and we jumped them. No refusals. No meltdowns from me or him. No panicking. No fuss - just stress free jumping and it felt great. So great in fact that we did it again by ourselves on Sunday and had the same success :) Made up!!
 
Cheshire Chestnut said:
One more update:

I had another jumping lesson on Friday and I jumped fillers!! :D My instructor started by putting them apart so we could trot and then canter through them. She then moved them closer and closer and we repeated trot/canter through until they were touching and we jumped them. No refusals. No meltdowns from me or him. No panicking. No fuss - just stress free jumping and it felt great. So great in fact that we did it again by ourselves on Sunday and had the same success :) Made up!!
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Well done - there's no stopping you now!
 
annagain said:
Well done - there's no stopping you now!
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Thank you - I kind of feel like that now, although I still get a bit fluttery in my tummy when I think about jumping. That's a good thing though - will stop me being too cocky to quick and suffering another period of lost confidence! Rome wasn't built in a day but I felt as though the foundations were laid on Friday so that's a good start :)
 
Cheshire Chestnut said:
Thank you - I kind of feel like that now, although I still get a bit fluttery in my tummy when I think about jumping. That's a good thing though - will stop me being too cocky to quick and suffering another period of lost confidence! Rome wasn't built in a day but I felt as though the foundations were laid on Friday so that's a good start :)
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Brilliant :)
 
Haha love it!! Thanks guys, looking forward to the possibility of an indoor clear round in a month or so... Just the baby class for now but that's a huge step up in thinking from last month! :)
 
***Small update***
I've had a few more lessons on my boy now and today we jumped a small course of spreads, uprights and a 'scary' plank. It went swimmingly and no refusals, silliness or frustrating moments - just one happy pony pinging over jumps with his ears forward and one VERY happy rider who has found her mojo for jumping again :D
 
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