Any1 ended a relationship/ job etc because of your horse? I am this week...

I think if i was in the same boat as you, he would have to go to. Such a shame when they cannot accept them, im a very lucky girl, my other half is a farrier so he knows how long they take to do etc, although he doesnt get involved my mine, he says he spends all week shoeing the bloody things so hes certainly not going to spend hes free time with them lol, which to me is fab! He has he hobby and i have mine. Hope it goes as well as it can :-/ xx
 
Yep, my ex said its me or the horse.. well he's now my ex :o

Current OH moans about the horse but I know he doesn't mean it as I did think about quitting when I had my old lad PTS but he told me I should buy another one - so he doesn't hate them that much ;)
 
The person I would give up horses for is the person who would never ask me too.

My OH isn't horsey in the slightest, in fact he was a real townie and hadn't had any contact with animals until me! He plays Rugby and works shifts, so we rarely have days off at the same time, some times it can feel like I haven't seen him in days! But he would never ever complain about my horses taking up time, just like I would never ask him to miss training or a game so we could spend the day together.
I go to watch his games and he comes to the yard and watches me compete. In fact, he has helped me to break in my Mare and has asked about hacking my old boy out!! He has a set of wellies and a babour jacket too! :D He has no idea about riding properly, but does a lot of coaching, so is actually quite useful to have around when I'm competing and schooling, he is good at getting me to think positively!

I realise how lucky I am, but it took me a 6 month break from our relationship to realise what a pleb I was for letting him go.
 
Hi, I am lucky too like Charlie my OH is a farrier and although not 'hands on' with the horses, he willingly fetches my big bale haylage and straw and harrows the field and mends the fencing; doesn't moan about the bills. I couldn't ask for a kinder husband.
I have had it different though - married before to one that 'feigned overwhelming' interest in the horses and dogs until married then there was no interest and then one that so resented my horse despite my paying for everything for it and me being the household breadwinner!
Noone can advise you what to do, but it is important for both partners to realise you CANNOT change people and if you love horses that is part of your makeup and personality and if he cannot tolerate the time spent he should never have got with you and been honest upfront(most blokes aren't!).
Go for a genuine chap who loves you and your interests - you have to support each other's hobbies and be honest if you can't take on a OH with a time consuming one. It's just so miserable being moaned at all the time - I can sympathise with you!! Good luck!
 
It doesn't matter whether it's horses, dancing, knitting classes whatever - in any relationship you need space for one another, and to support each other's hobbies. If there isn't that give, take and support then there isn't much of anything. Owning horses is a way of life rather than a hobby anyway - either support it, or decide that person's not for you. Hope you feel better for being moaner-free again soon sugarlump. Hope it all goes amicably!
 
I wouldn't think twice about ditching a guy in favour of my horses or animals. Sorry but if they didn't accept me and my animals then tough. Mind you, I seem to ditch guys within the first few dates so maybe I just have commitment issues anyway when it comes to guys! Lol. Reckon i'll just stay single - much easier!!
 
This subject worries me quite a lot - OH and I met at uni, where we both had plenty of time for our own hobbies and to spend time with each other. Now 4 years later we're living together, but we both have full-time jobs and our time together is already much more restricted. I don't have a horse, I share a couple of evenings a week instead which doesn't really affect him as I get home only an hour or two after he gets in from work anyway.

He's always known my ultimate goal is to have my own horse, but I don't think he really appreciates how much of my time that'd take. Also, financially it worries me how it will affect us - we now have a joint mortgage and our finances are joint, to which we both contribute. So if I was to have a horse, it'd affect his finances too. He worked out the other day that my sharing is costing £720 a year, to which he said 'Can I spend that on my hobby too?'. His is computer games (big kid!). I don't want to deprive him, but I'd make sacrifices he isn't prepared to make (food, holidays, cars, presents) to be able to afford horses in my life.

It's a tough issue - I feel I'm currently compromising as I don't have my own horse, but I'm sure he doesn't see it that way, as my current sharing still costs money. So he now wants a nice new car when I think we should stick with what we already have, and I feel if he does splash out now, we're moving further away from my dream of every affording my own horse.
 
To be honest unless there was a damn good reason for it (you needed them to go so YOU had a roof over your head), then no OH who truly loved you would be jealous of a horse..... there was a thread on this a while back.

I would not dismiss a 3 year relationship quite so easily- but then someone I was with for 3 years would not ask me to dismiss my hobby.
 
See in that situation i would probably not have put the finances together, I would want to have my own 'pot' of money that I could spend how i wanted. Sure, split the costs of mortgage and essentials equally but, if he wants a flash car and you are not bothered then i don't see why you would have to pay for it as well? That would bug me actually. I won't comment on the computer games, each to their own but, seriously - a grown man and that's their 'hobby'? See, that would drive me bonkers! Lol
 
jendie said:
I think when your partners cannot accept what is a big part of your life and your happiness then, yes, it is probably time to say goodbye. If he really loves you he will want you to be happy and would do everything possible to ensure that you are.
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Totally agree with this, funny irony here for me as I understand and waiting to meet someone like you ladies. Ain't life strange :rolleyes:

Kev
 
I have ended a relationship, one of the reasons being his attitude towards the horses. I spent an entire boxing day at the yard one year - me and a friend has the agreement that she did Xmas day and I did boxing day. He was at home waiting for me with a ring!! Big arguement ensued. To be fair I had spent all Xmas day with him, and had warned him I would be out all day Boxing day.

Everyone needs a bit of compromise - I do much less with the horses than I used to, if I did everything I wanted and rode as often as I wanted, I would never see my partner, and I don;t think it would be reasonable.
 
ameeyal said:
Just had to tell you what my husband said yesterday, my horse has just been diagnosed with cushings, my husband has ALWAYS wanted a classic jaguar car at the week end he drew out £20k from the bank because he was going to look at a car, he stood in the living room with this money in his hand and said," i would give up my dream car and £20k to make your horse better, i was really touched.
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That is sooooo lovely. I am very lucky, because my husband will always do the horses with me in the morning, if he is not working away - and I have my "horse time" in the evening.

He never complains with any degree of seriousness!
 
I am lucky to. My OH is a complete townie, never had anything to do with horses. Met me with 2 showjumpers, got right into it, driven my lorry/trailer up and down the country to events, come to support me when i have gone with others, gone to the yard to muck out whilst i have been at work. Even ridden. I spend a very limited time with mine at the moment, so he doesn't really see them. But he has still given up his time to fetch shavings and feed. My ex hated them and was only interested when i fell out with him, by which time it was to late. As others say they come as part of me as does the dog.
 
KevinA27 said:
Totally agree with this, funny irony here for me as I understand and waiting to meet someone like you ladies. Ain't life strange :rolleyes:

Kev
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Ironic but given the numbers of horsey ladies vs horsey men who are not gay I would say your odds are better than most of ours ;)


I haven't done this but I would - cannot imagine life without horses!
 
So sorry to hear of all this break ups due to horses. BUT i would do exactly the same!! The horse would come first every time 100% :D

Makes me feel lucky to have an OH who doesn't moan about the horses. That's probably because after work he's either at the gym or playing football with the lads. On a sunday all i get is WHEN are you going? Ha
 
Hmmm, not quite but I have had 'that' conversation. Trouble is most men are rubbish at being on their own. Mine does try to make me feel guilty and I would probably spend more time with horses if not for him. However he did build my manage and pay for lights etc so on balance not all bad. Relationships are a real compromise and tbh I would never get married again if this one went down the pan.
 
"The person I would give up horses for is the person who would never ask me too."

This.

I would give up, and have, for D, but the draw was too great and I'm back with them (well, four of them!) again :D

He's not at all horsey. Doesn't have a horsey bone in his body. Has sat on a horse twice in his life and as far as he's concerned that is twice too often. However, he mucks out, he grooms (after a fashion, which are his words), he feeds, turns out/brings in, goes to the shows, takes thousands of photos, rides his bike with us when we hack out, has given up his savings to help me out; puts up with early mornings, late nights, mud, horse gear (and mud and hair) in the house/cars. Bought me a horse. Held me when I lost her.

He is my rock.

The only thing that really gets to him is the tears. When something is wrong with one of them and I'm crying and he can't fix it. That gets to him and that's when he would say they should all go. Even then though, we still have Little Lad when most sane people would have 'done something!' with him, and a broken DWB and a semi-broken little cob, plus a mad dervish IDxTB :D
 
ameeyal said:
Just had to tell you what my husband said yesterday, my horse has just been diagnosed with cushings, my husband has ALWAYS wanted a classic jaguar car at the week end he drew out £20k from the bank because he was going to look at a car, he stood in the living room with this money in his hand and said," i would give up my dream car and £20k to make your horse better, i was really touched.
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Ahhh! What a lovely husband you have x
 
Sorry to hear of your split.
As for the "you think more of the animals than me or you put them before me,senerio,its jeliousy,I get it when we argue.My hubby is NOT horsey at all.Hes envious of them---- too bad.The horse and pony are staying. Its a man thing.lol
 
Ah sorry to hear it's not worked out :(. I've Never had to end a relationship because of my horse.
OH is very good he knows my horse is important to me he makes an effort to come to yard he even does the poo picking and walks out on hacks with me sometimes :D. I'm lucky really! He has his interests and I have mine which is a good thing. I've had her much longer than I've had him ;)
 
Yes I would end it! It's taken me years to realise that I needed a horsey bloke, and after many unsuitable dates and boyfriends I've finally met someone who not only knows one end of the horse from another, but is also possibly the sweetest most genuine person I've ever met and even if we are both hungover on a sunday morning, will come and turn out, muck out and do all the horrid things without grumbling. TBH I knew mine was a keeper when in the afternoon before our hunt ball he had to drive 3 hours back to his mums yard to look after a horse with colic and deal with the vet and then as soon as she got back from work drove 3 hours back again to come out with me. Cut it very fine!
 
I've given up on men. After one boyfriend who just didn't get it, and thought I should stay in with him on a Saturday morning instead of going to do the horses (oh yeah, they'll change their own rugs and let themselves out!! this was 2 years into the relationship :p) I decided that yes, the horses come first, and unless I find someone who understands that from the start, I'm staying single. My horses don't lie and let me down, and one of mine has been my best friend for 20 years... I've never met a man I could imagine spending 20 years with.

I don't like the thought of being single for the rest of my life, but hell, I'd rather that than be without my horses :)
 
Wow thanks everyone for the support and stories!

When we met I had the 2 horses- the 1 was recovering from colic surgery and oh used to stand around with me grazing him in hand for half an hour at a time and would help me, it wore off after about a year and seemed to see them as competition lol its been up and down since then but down the last 6 months or so...

Cant tell him today though!!!
 
Thanks Mrs M, this may sound mad but I knew what I wanted, but went to see a medium/ spiritualist person who said what I needed to hear... Im a believer even though some dont lol!

But thats another story!
 
natalia said:
Yes I would end it! It's taken me years to realise that I needed a horsey bloke, and after many unsuitable dates and boyfriends I've finally met someone who not only knows one end of the horse from another, but is also possibly the sweetest most genuine person I've ever met and even if we are both hungover on a sunday morning, will come and turn out, muck out and do all the horrid things without grumbling. TBH I knew mine was a keeper when in the afternoon before our hunt ball he had to drive 3 hours back to his mums yard to look after a horse with colic and deal with the vet and then as soon as she got back from work drove 3 hours back again to come out with me. Cut it very fine!
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Right, come on, where on earth did you find him??!!!
 
From reading this I now feel like the luckiest girl in the world. My boyfriend of nearly 2 years is a jockey - mainly point to point and hunterchasing and also has the added bonus of being very nice looking!! I feel that it works out really well that he has his 4 race horses and I have my 2 eventers. Whenever he is away racing early or staying away overnight I ride and see to his horses for him knowing that he would return the favour for me anyday!!
I totally understand that it really must be difficult havin non horsey other halfs but trust me having been there and done that the horses definetly come first. Find yourself a horsey man and life becomes much easier. However I do sometimes grudge leading up the racehorses on very cold or very wet days but I totally understand that that is his sport an that is what he wants to do. To be honest i dont suppose for a minute that he enjoys coming and watching me have a flatwork lesson - although he does admit that he really enjoys a day away eventing.

Anyway - horses come first, keep searching and the right person will come along for you (worked out well for me)
 
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Well I've been married for nearly 42 years and my Hubby has never once asked me to get rid of horses, couldn't understand the time I spent with them, till I pointed out that his round of golf lasted 4-5 hours when we first got married. Now bless him golf once or twice a year and only in good weather, never complains about the bills (but there again I never tell him), empties the muck trailer and goes and collects straw for me, does repair work round the stables etc:- will ride out with me or walk beside if need be, walks the 4 dogs at the week end and he's started cooking at week ends (praise is a wonder thing, even if the food isn't). I'm breaking him in for his retirement (slowly):D:D:D:D:D
 
Well done you Echo Bravo- 42 years- wow! :)

You know guys I never added, I was with and then engaged to a bloke with a horse for 7 years and that didn't work out either!!

It would annoy me as he'd wind his mare up and make her mad when there was no need, yes she could be mad but responded well to a quiet seat etc, we argued loads over this along with 100's of other horsey things! He would go round the yard riding other peoples horses for the attention and wouldn't be interested in ours unless at a show when people would always comment on the flashy horses. We would hack out and he'd gallop off up jumping tracks (Im not too keen :\ ) jumping up to 3 1/2 foot jumps knowing I would HAVE to follow as my horse would just follow his- Arrrggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss his mare and the 'joint' horse we shared.

Maybe its me.... or maybe I need a woman ;)
 
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