Anyone else given up?

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Riding?? I have made the decision to just give up. Making a total twonk of myself on sunday has confirmed the fact I cannot ride!! I have no balance, no feel unless you count total fear, and zero talent. I've seen others watching me wince at my lack of skills and Im too fat to ride anyway. I have tried lessons but as soon as I try to do something without an instructor present it goes really horribly wrong.
I will honestly say I am very jealous of those who can get on a horse and walk, trot, canter and jump without any problems, it just doesnt happen for me, and Im making a mess of my horse. Regretfully I am selling him as he's much better than to be wasted with a numpty like me.
 
Does it matter if you can't do everything? Do you enjoy going for a pootle about the countryside, caring for your horse, or maybe a bit of schooling within your comfort zone?
Don't give up just because you're not as good as you think you should be, only give up if you no longer find enjoyment being with your horse. Your horse doesn't give a monkeys what his job is - so long as he is well cared for!
 
maisie06 said:
Riding?? I have made the decision to just give up. Making a total twonk of myself on sunday has confirmed the fact I cannot ride!! I have no balance, no feel unless you count total fear, and zero talent. I've seen others watching me wince at my lack of skills and Im too fat to ride anyway. I have tried lessons but as soon as I try to do something without an instructor present it goes really horribly wrong.
I will honestly say I am very jealous of those who can get on a horse and walk, trot, canter and jump without any problems, it just doesnt happen for me, and Im making a mess of my horse. Regretfully I am selling him as he's much better than to be wasted with a numpty like me.
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Ok....BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING......get someone to video you. It could be a number of reasons...saddle don't fit you...or wrong style for you....get yourself a bit fitter....and just have a go....I can guarentee you will regret selling the beast....oh and other peoples negative opinions? SCRAPE 'EM OFF!
GO GIRL....PMA...Positive Mental Attitude....
Bryndu :)
 
ThePony said:
Does it matter if you can't do everything? Do you enjoy going for a pootle about the countryside, caring for your horse, or maybe a bit of schooling within your comfort zone?
Don't give up just because you're not as good as you think you should be, only give up if you no longer find enjoyment being with your horse. Your horse doesn't give a monkeys what his job is - so long as he is well cared for!
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Horse is quite talented, and I'm just wrecking him, so I've made the decision not to ride him again. There's too much pressure to be a good rider these days and I'm not enjoying it anymore.
 
maisie06 said:
Horse is quite talented, and I'm just wrecking him, so I've made the decision not to ride him again. There's too much pressure to be a good rider these days and I'm not enjoying it anymore.
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You say you are overweight. This can really affect your balance and riding ability. Rather than give up, can't you lose weight? Set yourself a target and use riding as an incentive?
 
Wagtail said:
You say you are overweight. This can really affect your balance and riding ability. Rather than give up, can't you lose weight? Set yourself a target and use riding as an incentive?
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I've tried and tried and tried, it just won't shift. I've had a constant battle with food and weight, I think I'm just destined to be a lump!
 
The pony is right....
If he is happy hacking about and being loved and cared for, what does it matter if you are not jumping through hoops of fire and such like....
 
Maybe if you feel overhorsed and pressured to ride him perfectly, you could swap him for a different model? It's all supposed to be fun, perhaps something that doesn't need to be schooled would be better? (I have no idea what horse you have or anything, but maybe you just need a horse that enjoys what you enjoy and you don't feel any pressure to school) There's loads of people on my yard who have horses to just hack or they hack and have a lesson once a week or they just have a retired horse, who can't be ridden to pamper and cuddle. There's no reason not to have a horse at all, it just needs to be a set up that suits you :) don't give up though, not untill you've looked at all the options xx
 
Pony doesn't care what u do with him. If u enjoy pottering about crack on. If not then it is meant to be ur hobby so fun. Take time and don't rush into any decisions please. I get the feelings u'll regret hasty decisions.
 
maisie06 said:
Horse is quite talented, and I'm just wrecking him, so I've made the decision not to ride him again. There's too much pressure to be a good rider these days and I'm not enjoying it anymore.
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Has some well intentioned ..but malicios GIT...told you your horse is too talented for you?
SCRAPE 'EM OFF.
You love him....he loves you...
Bryndu:)
 
D'you know what? I have two horses. A high maintenance (but eternally lame) 16.2hh TB mare and a two and a half year old 13.2hh filly. I don't ride. Mare is buggered and obviously the other is too young. I don't miss riding one bit. I couldn't care less if I never got on another horse again. If someone gave me the reins of Totilas to ride I still wouldn't bother. But I adore my horses. I would do anything for them and I get so much pleasure from just looking after them. I admit to enjoying doing ground work with my youngster and I will back and break her in when she is ready - but I don't care if it's later this year, or next year or the year after.
It doesn't matter if you don't ride. It doesn't make you any less a horse lover or a knowledgeable horse person. I love reading up on veterinary stuff/nutritional stuff for horses but as for riding - no thanks!!
 
Are you on the right yard ? Its amazing how being in the wrong environment can make things seem awful ?

You sound quite demoralised, your horse isn't too good for a caring and thoughtful owner, no matter how wonderful he is, he's just a horse.

Ever noticed how some grand horses have little hairy ponies as their best friends ? Snobbery doesn't exist for horses but unfortunately its does exist in the horse world among riders and I wonder if you're just unfortunate in finding more of them than your fair share ?
 
Maisie,

How long have you been riding? It takes years and years and years to be good - don't kid yourself about the others you see, they probably started as embryos!
Reading your post I think you are self-conscious and are thinking alot about what others think of you. I don't think you are ruining the horse, but if you are concerned, get him schooled regularly by a good rider to counteract any of your bad habits.
My story is I am short, middle-aged dumpy with no natural talent, but I have perservered and taken lots and lots of lessons. My horse was a lovely well-trianed by massive IDx who was way too big for me but I loved him to bits. Every once in awhile I would do something successful like place in a dressage class. I just plain enjoyed riding, and it made me happy. I won't give up til I am too ancient or senile. Where I ride loads of very average riders go out hacking, jump badly, hunt & fall off. We all enjoy ourselves Not everybody is a stonkingly good competition rider. Also, horses are very forgiving. Think long and hard about it - can you enjoy it at some level and do something to reduce your guilt about supposedly ruining your horse? If so, then continue!
 
I didn't start riding until I was 40 and bought my first horse at the age of 45. I had some lessons before I got my boy but to be honest I wouldn't have a clue how to work in an outline, how to get my horse on the bit, etc. I am a very happy hacker who loves nothing better than bumbling around the countryside. My horse is happy, well cared for and loved to bits. I doubt he's worried that I might be ruining him, in fact I doubt he would care if he never got ridden again!

If you enjoy caring for your horse and being around him that's all that matters. Please think long and hard before you make any decisions and don't be influenced by what others think or say.
 
Spotsrock said:
Pony doesn't care what u do with him. If u enjoy pottering about crack on. If not then it is meant to be ur hobby so fun. Take time and don't rush into any decisions please. I get the feelings u'll regret hasty decisions.
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Agree with this

wehn my daughter stopped ridign id to learn to ride our cob quickly - hence many lessons and i got so so fed up - goign roudn and round in poncey circles, never gettign any furhter than trot - learnign leg yeilding, stuff that bored me to tears

A new livery came to our yard - my age, good rider and took me in hand.

Her and another lady with a cob took me out hacking - teachign me things i wanted to to learn whilst out and about and more importantly having fun!

We are now cantering and - thanks to my boy deciding its too much effort to walk round any logs in our path - jumping!

OK it wont be to bhs standard but ive grown to love riding, improved my confidence and had so much fun with my lad who i just love to bits more and more!

Guess what - Im now ready to have lessons again!

So long as you concentrate on your balance and seat - and always remember to keep your hands quiet you arent going to hurt your horse if you just potter about for a while

Have fun and build your confidence in your own time x
 
Thanks guys! I have been riding for near on 20 years and have never been any good!! When I was younger i didn't give 2 hoots, would ride anything, jump bigger the better, but my confidence has gone....totally. My horse is an angel and it pains me to be wrecking him, so I may sell him and look for an oldie who doesn't need riding to give a nice home to and potter around brushing and looking after.
 
Bertolie said:
I didn't start riding until I was 40 and bought my first horse at the age of 45. I had some lessons before I got my boy but to be honest I wouldn't have a clue how to work in an outline, how to get my horse on the bit, etc. I am a very happy hacker who loves nothing better than bumbling around the countryside. My horse is happy, well cared for and loved to bits. I doubt he's worried that I might be ruining him, in fact I doubt he would care if he never got ridden again!
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You sound just like me!!!
 
I agree with Spotsrock it sounds to me like you have your horse somewhere thats not suitalbe for you. It s a real shame you cant try taking him somewhere where you ve got a guiding hand but can take your time and build your friendship up with your horse.
If you are scared stupid to get on him then dont... just take it one step at a time.
you are being way way to hard on yourself...some of the things you have said about yourself would be abuse if you said them to someone else.
 
Where are u? Ur horse and u are right. Ur people are wrong. That's my guess. My angel pony is way more talented and braver than me and so beautiful and perfect. Her boyfriend is my other horse. We refer to them as the twins coz they're both 14 something spotties. He on other hand is short coupled stumpy legs long back barrell belly and huge head. She doesn't care she loves him. Waffle but love ur horse and find some nice chilled out people to keep him with or have lessons off. If ur really concerned about him being ridden start interviewing sharers maybe. They should help with cost though an older horse to love not ride would cost same or more than him, and keep him in work so u can do the bits u do like for now. Sending positive thoughts.
 
I don't ride much anymore. I've got a fabulous cob that I bought specifically because he's old and I can't be without an equine to care for.
Turns out, he's a bit more than an old, ploddy cob, but I don't want to do anything more than plod round the lanes or do a bit of very light schooling. I get a bit cross when some people say it should be me doing the competing etc, I really don't want to but I love keeping him in show ring condition and turning him out for other people to take him in the ring. He thoroughly enjoys his outings, but also thoroughly enjoys wandering about aimlessly with me.
If you enjoy your horse for the person he is, and you're able to keep him happy and healthy, it really doesn't matter that you're not going to be aiming for the next olympics. Horses aren't competitive in the same way humans are, they just want decent food, enough water,space to stretch their legs, be dry and have the sources for and ambient temperature and company that they enjoy with a bit of novelty thrown in now and again to prevent boredom.
 
Maisie,
Are you sure that this isn't an issue that's not just limited to horses/riding. Your original post struck me as someone with very little self esteem so I had a look back over your previous posts and I am worried about you.
I don't know you and I don't know your horse, but your posts are incredibly negative. Your horse won't really care much about whether you ride him, lunge him, or take him for walks round the local neighbourhood - he'll just be happy if he's looked after and has attention. But you may lose out if you throw in the towel so to speak.
If you are local to me I will happily come and help you out, but I don't know where you are based. Feel free to PM me if you want. If I can't help then I am sure another kind HHOer will.
I desperately want to ride at the moment, but have a 35yr old in retirement and my children's two ponies to look after. I feel completely out of the loop and frankly quite fed up with the whole horse lark, but at least I still have the contact with horses. Do you have another hobby to take up if you stopped riding?
Sorry, lots of questions, but hopefully we can all help you work to a positive solution on this one. xx
 
It.s a pity you don't live in Northumberland, you could try our old boy, great confidence giver, 18 yr old ex racer, we love him to bits, at least you would know if your problem was lack of confidence, I am self taught, so don't always know the aids to give but I still enjoy tootling about
 
Just read something on facebook that made me think of u

Before u diagnose urself with depression or low self esteem please check u are not simply surrounded by ar*e holes

In ur case before u diagnose poor ability I guess.
 
Firstly..Dont listen to others, thy sound like the stuck up, know-it all that give horse riders a bad name.

Horses have so many different attributes you can focus on, its not just riding, I barely get to ride at the minute, but I just love to care for them and be around them. Even if its just sitting in the field watching them graze. How about focusing on becoming really good at something others aren't? Become the yard whizz of feed or first aid, or be the one everyone asks for help when they need to go to a show and want their horses plaited and polished pick a topic, read, talk, research things.

I think if you give up riding you will regret it, you do sound like you dont have a lot of confidence about yourself, I know exactly how you feel and a lot of others do too. Think positively, I bet you a million pounds that you arent as bad as you really think you are.

I felt really sad reading how you feel about yourself and riding, I hate to think of people beating themselves up when they dont need to.

I dont know if your in my area, but like others have offered, I would happily come and give you some support if you ever need a non-judgemental horsey friend.

xxx
 
spots rock i love that ... check you are not surrounded by ********s... it really does happen .... oh and im going to get hung out to dry here but especially in the horse world!
There s some seriously good offers of help on here for you Maisie it would make sense to exhaust all avenues before you parted with such a lovely horse..
 
maisie06 said:
Thanks guys! I have been riding for near on 20 years and have never been any good!! When I was younger i didn't give 2 hoots, would ride anything, jump bigger the better, but my confidence has gone....totally. My horse is an angel and it pains me to be wrecking him, so I may sell him and look for an oldie who doesn't need riding to give a nice home to and potter around brushing and looking after.
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i'll swop with you:D

focus on what you enjoy doing with your horse & just do that - very few horses miss riding or competing - are you sure you are ruining him - maybe get some outside feedback on this & then re-evaluate
 
I totally agree with those that say a change of yard may be in order....I felt the same as you OP, and then I moved yards due to a relocation and realised that while my horse may be capable of many things that we don't do - she is very happy to poodle around the countryside and generally have an easy life. The change of focus from feeling like I constantly had to be in an outline
 
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