Anyone else suffer from anxiety?

Hiya. I work for a charity called No Panic and we provide support for people suffering from anxiety disorders. We provide Mentoring and recovery groups and the methods are based on CBT and waiting times are approx 4 weeks. We also have a free phone helpline. we also have books and literature and DVD's you can pm me if you would like an info pack. Xx
 
All this talk of benzodiazapines is old school!;)

OP, your condition is highly common, particularly in your age range. These days, you are most commonly prescribed the SSRI Citalopram as an anti-anxylitic. They are in no way addictive, perfectly safe, and highly effective in getting rid of your symptoms.

Depending on the cause of your anxiety, then CBT is often highly advised. If there doesn't appear to be any specific reason to your anxiety, then there is no harm in staying on the SSRI's and there are no known long term effects.

I have been on Citalopram for severe depression/anxiety since 2009 and my doc is more than happy to leave it up to me when I want to come off it. They do have some side effects to start with, and you often get prescribed diazepam for the first month in order to help you through the side effects, but I stayed away from them as they are very addictive.
 
Quadro said:
First thing is anxiolytics are very very short term measures (ie a week). Coming off benzodiazapines is harder than heroin and is really not the answer.
Gps will give you CBT to fob you off as they are not very skilled in psychiatry ;) CBT may help but why should you be told that your thinking is wrong??
The first step (that i try with patients anyway) its simple relaxation exercises to manage the symptoms not cure them.
Hope thats of some use!
Q
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As a previous sufferer of severe depression and anxiety I find this slightly offensive!!

I don't know what your job/career is Quadro, but it seems as if you are well out of touch with medicine and clearly don't realise that when you suffer these things, a 'simple relaxation exercise' just doesn't quite cut it!

Fine, when I am feeling slightly frayed at the edges after a tough day at work, a bit of a relaxation exercise may do the trick, but not when you suffer sheer terror and panic, and cannot rationalise.
 
Doubt im out of touch considering my job ;)
Talk of benzos is highly current and unfortunately still being dished out.
In response to CBT the theory behind it is to change your thinking on the basis your orginal thoughts are "incorrect" ( using this word loosely)
As to saying waiting lists are to long that may be the case but every patient is risk assessed so those deemed most at risk will.be seen first. Whether you agree with that is another debate.
If you wish to question my credentials in psychiatry feel free to pm ;)
Q
 
Quadro said:
Doubt im out of touch considering my job ;)
Talk of benzos is highly current and unfortunately still being dished out.
In response to CBT the theory behind it is to change your thinking on the basis your orginal thoughts are "incorrect" ( using this word loosely)
As to saying waiting lists are to long that may be the case but every patient is risk assessed so those deemed most at risk will.be seen first. Whether you agree with that is another debate.
If you wish to question my credentials in psychiatry feel free to pm ;)
Q
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I don't doubt you have credentials in psychiatry.

I have lots and lots of friends, family members and colleagues who at some point, or are at the moment, suffered from anxiety or depression, including one who has suffered since the age of around 7 yrs. Not one of them have even had benzos suggested to them as a course of treatment.

All of them have been prescribed SSRI's which have been extremely effective. Some have had CBT, including myself, though I was signed off it very soon as I didn't feel I needed after my meds kicked in.
 
gemin1eye said:
I get terrible anxiety - I'm flying to Dublin on Thursday and I'm bricking it. If I feel trapped and can't see a way out I panic and start to feel VERY sick. I have to have an aisle seat in the theatre or cinema, will definately want one on the plane - last time I flew my whole body started shaking and I almost threw up because i was in a middle seat, and once the seatbelt signs go on for takeoff or descent, thats when I panic. I'd love it if anyone could give me some quick coping techniques, I'm definately going to my GP when I get back to be referred for CBT. I'll pay privately if I have tos, i just want this sorted!
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Gemin1eye - your triggers sounds very similar to mine; I also have to sit at aisle seats wherever possible. With flying, I find chewing gum really helps as I can focus on the rhythm of chewing. Another technique I've recently started using is counting backwards slowly from 10 - the idea being I'll reassess at '0', if I'm feeling no worse then that's a success and repeat the process for as long as I need to feel more relaxed.

Another big help are breathing techniques. Along the same lines as above, focussing on breathing and getting into a rhythm can help to settle as I feel I can take control of that.

All the best on Thursday!
 
E13 said:
Just my twopence worth, I get a bit of this, though other problems take precedence. I'm only a couple of years older than you, so feel free to PM me if you want a chat - I too hate the fact that I have no life, socially etc, though mine's come about in a slightly different way! Whereabouts are you - I don't suppose you live at all near me?!
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Thankyou, I live in Surrey :)

SianEliza said:
Didn't want to read and run. I was having palpitations due to anxiety and took a short course of beta blockers. It did help, but reading through I think mine wasn't as troublesome as yours. Mentally I felt fine, if a little stressed, but my heart would go like the clappers.

Hope you find something that helps you.
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I could not Imagen having palpitations, it would scare me so much! Thankyou x

gemin1eye said:
I get terrible anxiety - I'm flying to Dublin on Thursday and I'm bricking it. If I feel trapped and can't see a way out I panic and start to feel VERY sick. I have to have an aisle seat in the theatre or cinema, will definately want one on the plane - last time I flew my whole body started shaking and I almost threw up because i was in a middle seat, and once the seatbelt signs go on for takeoff or descent, thats when I panic. I'd love it if anyone could give me some quick coping techniques, I'm definately going to my GP when I get back to be referred for CBT. I'll pay privately if I have tos, i just want this sorted!
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I know how you feel :( defo go to your GP! my mum was at the point where she wanted to pay privatley but we just couldnt afford it!x

geegee84 said:
Hiya. I work for a charity called No Panic and we provide support for people suffering from anxiety disorders. We provide Mentoring and recovery groups and the methods are based on CBT and waiting times are approx 4 weeks. We also have a free phone helpline. we also have books and literature and DVD's you can pm me if you would like an info pack. Xx
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I looked briefly on the no panic forum the other day, was really helpful. I would use the help line but I panic about talking to people on the phone ahaha!

Moomin1 said:
All this talk of benzodiazapines is old school!;)

OP, your condition is highly common, particularly in your age range. These days, you are most commonly prescribed the SSRI Citalopram as an anti-anxylitic. They are in no way addictive, perfectly safe, and highly effective in getting rid of your symptoms.

Depending on the cause of your anxiety, then CBT is often highly advised. If there doesn't appear to be any specific reason to your anxiety, then there is no harm in staying on the SSRI's and there are no known long term effects.

I have been on Citalopram for severe depression/anxiety since 2009 and my doc is more than happy to leave it up to me when I want to come off it. They do have some side effects to start with, and you often get prescribed diazepam for the first month in order to help you through the side effects, but I stayed away from them as they are very addictive.
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The cause of my anxiety- bullied at school, waking up every day in tears and filled with dread. the amount of strength it took for me to get myself out of bed in the morning knowing what I have to sit through at school. parents arguing 24/7. I really do not have any strength left!
Im on sertraline which is a SSRI, I think?! it helps me cope with depression, so now I can focus on the anxiety.

patterdale said:
OP don't know if anyone has said this already, but the SoapBox section of the forum can be very good for non horsey things like this, and only registered members can see it. Just in case you didn't know :) :)
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yeah I did know about it but never been on there ahah, thankyou :)
 
Anxiety and depression are awful disorders to experience and sadly there is no quick fix cure as the causal factors are numerous and very individual.I agree anxiety is common in teenagers,but i do not agree with the indiscriminate use of antidepressants and anxiolytics without thorough supervision and the implementation of psychological therapies.It is only by working out the causal factors,and learning coping strategies that will produce more positive outcomes.I do have 32 years of experience in the field to guide me,before i am jumped on.Too many GP's rush for the prescription pad without considering the longer term effects of medication.The patient needs to understand their illness,precipitating factors,cognition's,emotions and behaviors,and to link these at some stage to traumas and other experiences which are the underlying causes.This is not easy and it's no wonder there is too much reliance on medication.Current NICE guidelines are focusing on interventions first before medication which should change GP prescribing patterns.I am aware GP 's have little time,which is why IAPT services are on offer.Mindfulness is a good therapy,and for those with trauma in their past EMDR is proving very effective,as little language is required,which negates the rather patronizing questions,such as "how do you feel".EMDR is particularly beneficial in children,who lack the language to describe tricky cognition's and associated emotions and behavior.We are successfully using EMDR in my area,which has to an extent challenged conventional therapy,but it does work.
 
I'm Bipolar too. Stable now - than god for medication is all I can say. And for my pony - he is my reason for being, bless him. Oooo and hubs of course (blush).

Hope you do get help from your doctor - there is a lot of support out there, you just the key to access it (and it can be a fight). There is a good book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, I still use this now.

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
 
Aw, you're too far away :( Gloucestershire for me! Someone mentioned chewing gum - that helps I find, obviously not a solution, but if you feel agitated you can kind of channel the energy into the chewing motion, so you're releasing a little of the pressure, if that makes sense? You could also try mindfulness - ie being in the moment. So using the food mentality again, you eat something, and think about eating it, how it tastes and smells and feels, aware of yourself sitting on the chair, basically keeping your mind in the moment. Or simply concentrating on your breathing, in and out, the quietness of the room, the birds in the distance... It may not work, but I've heard some use it, so worth a shot? There's also the 'safe place' - imagining a safe place in your head, which can be absolutely anything, say a meadow in the mountains with horses, and you imagine yourself lying in the grass, and what your senses are experiencing...it's safe there, and nothing can hurt you. Sort of a mini escape in your head :)

And I hate using phones too, so I feel your pain there!!
 
E13 said:
Aw, you're too far away :( Gloucestershire for me! Someone mentioned chewing gum - that helps I find, obviously not a solution, but if you feel agitated you can kind of channel the energy into the chewing motion, so you're releasing a little of the pressure, if that makes sense? You could also try mindfulness - ie being in the moment. So using the food mentality again, you eat something, and think about eating it, how it tastes and smells and feels, aware of yourself sitting on the chair, basically keeping your mind in the moment. Or simply concentrating on your breathing, in and out, the quietness of the room, the birds in the distance... It may not work, but I've heard some use it, so worth a shot? There's also the 'safe place' - imagining a safe place in your head, which can be absolutely anything, say a meadow in the mountains with horses, and you imagine yourself lying in the grass, and what your senses are experiencing...it's safe there, and nothing can hurt you. Sort of a mini escape in your head :)

And I hate using phones too, so I feel your pain there!!
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i've got to leave in half an hour for my CBT appoitment, im panicking so much I can feel my heart beating through my chest! I've tried the safe place thing, it seems to work if im trying to sleep worrying about the next day :) x
 
Sometimes I just distract myself... I often will worry about something, try to imagine what will go wrong and how I will deal with it, but sometimes there's nothing you can 'work out' and you're just freaking out, so the best thing is to think of something else, keep your mind off it, pass the time, try to invent a nice daydream, basically let the minutes pass - works if it's a nervous anticipation situation :)
 
Think of lovely positive things to focus your mind and distract you from the negative ideas which are fueling your anxiety.Anxiety is triggered by unhelpful thoughts,hence the need,as others have mentioned,about mindfulness.Hopefully the CBT will enable you to link your thoughts with the anxiety triggering situation and help you learn ways to manage.Everyone suffers from degrees of anxiety and it is a natural response to danger,but for some it develops into an unhelpful pattern and can be easily entrenched.Good luck with your session and i hope you look forward to them in future.Also,please speak to the therapist about your mood,as you may be depressed.
 
hollieeb said:
Thankyou, I live in Surrey :)



I could not Imagen having palpitations, it would scare me so much! Thankyou x



I know how you feel :( defo go to your GP! my mum was at the point where she wanted to pay privatley but we just couldnt afford it!x



I looked briefly on the no panic forum the other day, was really helpful. I would use the help line but I panic about talking to people on the phone ahaha!



The cause of my anxiety- bullied at school, waking up every day in tears and filled with dread. the amount of strength it took for me to get myself out of bed in the morning knowing what I have to sit through at school. parents arguing 24/7. I really do not have any strength left!
Im on sertraline which is a SSRI, I think?! it helps me cope with depression, so now I can focus on the anxiety.



yeah I did know about it but never been on there ahah, thankyou :)
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Setraline is an SSRI antidepressant but not an anti-anxylitic. Citalopram is aimed at relieving symptoms of both. It really is fantastic and I can't stress how much it has returned my life to normal.

I am sorry to hear about all the stresses and troubles you have had. My depression/anxiety was the result of being bullied at work, and a two year long trial resulting in them being got rid of.
 
Patchworkpony said:
Just a thought but certain foods can in fact make you nervy and depressed. The main culprits are wheat, dairy products and sugar. To find out if you are allergic to them follow an exclusion diet for a couple of weeks and you may notice a huge change in the way you can deal with life.

One thing though if you are allergic to a certain food and you cut it out you may feel worse for about three days due to withdrawal symptoms but don't panic - that is a good sign as you have probably found the culprit. Good luck and just remember there is normally a cause for what you are feeling - you just have to track it down.
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This. It's great that you're realized there's a problem and you want to do something about it - that's half the battle (cliche, I know). I don't suffer from anxiety (I've cornered the market on depression, but my husband does and he manages his with medication, light therapy in the winter and cutting down on his smoking, alcohol intake and coffee consumption.

Best of luck finding a solution that works for you Hon.

P
 
Been debating on how to answer this as I do suffer but not as much now. But I also thinks that's because I don't put myself in situations I "can't control".

I think I suffered from it before it all came to a head. I mean at 7 years of age if I had a headache my parents had to convince me it wasn't a tumor. Not normal. What brought it to a head was I had a fall at the racetrack while galloping. It was nothing spectacular really. Was galloping a green baby and was coming down the home stretch and he spooked at something. I was riding too short for that baby and was my fault. Normal tumble but I remember thinking, geez I don't bounce as well anymore. Walked back to the barn and I felt weird. Nothing hurt, just felt weird. I had quit smoking at the time but had emergency ones stashed in my truck under the jump seats in the extra cab. As I was bending down to get them, all of my limbs went numb and I felt like the world was closing in. Well I freaked! Ran into the barn babbling and saying I was dying. Needless to say everyone looked at me quite strange. I sat in a chair and I told my boss to call my husband to come get me. I sat in a chair and I wouldn't move. An ambulance is always on site but I refused medical treatment. I was also getting short of breath and felt like I couldn't breathe. That did start to ease. Took my husband 30 mins to talk me out of my chair. Still I absolutely refused hospital because you know I was a tough girl. I went home, napped, but was very shook.

Next morning as soon as I drove through the gates of the track I started hyper ventilating and then I started crying. I got myself composed and had a job to do but I was still shook at not really at my best. The next day same thing going through the gates. Then as I was up on my 3rd horse it started again. I was walking around the barn and I started to get really scared and I was crying. Jumped off my horse and into truck and tried to drive to my husband's barn. I got halfway there and now I really couldn't breathe. I flagged a security guard who called an ambulance. I'm really losing it now and made security guard hold my hand. And I kept saying I don't want to die tears streaming down my face. I looked around my truck and kept thinking OMG look at this mess. I can't die here. (You can laugh, I find laughing about my anxiety was part of my cure). I also though I was having a heartattack because of the pain in my chest. Ok so crazy lady gets packed up into the ambulance and I now find I'm relaxed. I ask questions about how the heck my blood pressure is normal. I then ask if I have a brain tumor as I'm having awful headaches. No she says. I'm like all snotty, really and just how can you tell that when you can't see in my head. For someone who is sure she is dying I was awful obnoxious and full of stupid questions.

More below.
 
Equilibrium Ireland said:
Been debating on how to answer this as I do suffer but not as much now. But I also thinks that's because I don't put myself in situations I "can't control".

I think I suffered from it before it all came to a head. I mean at 7 years of age if I had a headache my parents had to convince me it wasn't a tumor. Not normal. What brought it to a head was I had a fall at the racetrack while galloping. It was nothing spectacular really. Was galloping a green baby and was coming down the home stretch and he spooked at something. I was riding too short for that baby and was my fault. Normal tumble but I remember thinking, geez I don't bounce as well anymore. Walked back to the barn and I felt weird. Nothing hurt, just felt weird. I had quit smoking at the time but had emergency ones stashed in my truck under the jump seats in the extra cab. As I was bending down to get them, all of my limbs went numb and I felt like the world was closing in. Well I freaked! Ran into the barn babbling and saying I was dying. Needless to say everyone looked at me quite strange. I sat in a chair and I told my boss to call my husband to come get me. I sat in a chair and I wouldn't move. An ambulance is always on site but I refused medical treatment. I was also getting short of breath and felt like I couldn't breathe. That did start to ease. Took my husband 30 mins to talk me out of my chair. Still I absolutely refused hospital because you know I was a tough girl. I went home, napped, but was very shook.

Next morning as soon as I drove through the gates of the track I started hyper ventilating and then I started crying. I got myself composed and had a job to do but I was still shook at not really at my best. The next day same thing going through the gates. Then as I was up on my 3rd horse it started again. I was walking around the barn and I started to get really scared and I was crying. Jumped off my horse and into truck and tried to drive to my husband's barn. I got halfway there and now I really couldn't breathe. I flagged a security guard who called an ambulance. I'm really losing it now and made security guard hold my hand. And I kept saying I don't want to die tears streaming down my face. I looked around my truck and kept thinking OMG look at this mess. I can't die here. (You can laugh, I find laughing about my anxiety was part of my cure). I also though I was having a heartattack because of the pain in my chest. Ok so crazy lady gets packed up into the ambulance and I now find I'm relaxed. I ask questions about how the heck my blood pressure is normal. I then ask if I have a brain tumor as I'm having awful headaches. No she says. I'm like all snotty, really and just how can you tell that when you can't see in my head. For someone who is sure she is dying I was awful obnoxious and full of stupid questions.

More below.
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something similar happened to me. went through Hell at school, worse years of my life, worked hard for my GCSE's and thought great, I'll go to college and study animal care- even though its not the most 'accredited' course I just thought give myself a break and do something I love. first day was awful, was crying down the phone to my mum at lunch time. she persuaded me to go back day 2 so I did but decided to drop out. Had to do something so went back to school (sixth form). worst decision ever- was walking there on my first day and I thought I was having a heart attack, couldn't breath and I seriously thought I was going to die. managed to calm myself down, it got to lunch and I just burst in to tears and literally ran all the way home. could not stop shaking/crying. and thats when all this started!
 
So yeah I get to hospital and I'm examined. I insist on some sort of brain scan, remember at 7 I was pretty sure I had a brain tumour, I am declined because I have no signs of a tumour. Me thinking oh yeah, like he would know. I am told I have anxiety disorder. I'm like what? WTH is that and what am I supposed to do with that diagnoses. I'm told to see a shrink and I'm given Ativan and that's it. Husband picks me up and I tell him and he's like ok, what is that. At any rate I work 7 days a week. I don't have time for this. The Ativan obviously helped but then I ran out and still didn't get a psychiatrist as I figured this was over. Nope, happened all over again and back in ER. This time I get a woman doctor who refused me Ativan and said I quote " I'm not here to ease your drug habit". But nice doctor gives me an anti depressant called paxil and sends me on my merry way. She said they were long term traquilizers. I'd love to smack her. At any rate she gives me instructions do not take with alcohol. Ok fine. Really wished she mentioned pot. Ok I did used to smoke a little. After taking the Paxil I still couldn't relax so I had a couple of puffs of pot.

Well let me tell you. Don't ever ever do that. I had a huge reaction. I couldn't sleep. I had body pains and sweat, and I was a frigging mess. I curled in a ball and just wish I'd die. I should also mention from the very start of this journey I was eating and drinking next to nothing. The next morning I was sad that I woke up, no joke. My body was shaking and I had to call in sick. Something I had never done in 12 years. My husband wanted to stay home but I told him to go to work. I stayed curled up in the fetal position and cried a lot. I did make a psych appt. for the next day. The soonest I could be seen. Luckily my husband had seen my acupuncturist that morning and she said get her to me immediately. So he came home and busied himself trying to get me ready to go. Had to help me dress. All I could say to him is please don't let them stick me in an institution. I was crying and he said that will never happen pet, we'll get you right. Going outside terrified me. Being in the car terrified me.

Anyway I get to Nan's in a complete mess. She worked on me for an hour. When I left my husband said I couldn't believe how your facial expression changed. Nan also put a jack in my ear to press in an emergency. It presses on something but really did help. I wasn't terrified driving home. I ate and for the first time in ages I ate.
 
Sorry I'm telling this whole thing. It's just it's hard to tell in bits and maybe it won't make people feel so alone.

That last part should be ate and slept for the first time in ages. Anyway after Accu I went to work the very next day. I got on all my horses and the ear thing worked quite well. I still had to go to psych. So I went to him and did all the obligatory questions crap. I told him about my bad reaction to Paxil and pot and how I was never taking either again. Well he wheeled around and pointed his finger at me and said, " oh you will take the Paxil". Not a shot in heck I was taking that again but this guy can put me in an institution so I lied and even more disturbing paid stupid money to get that prescription filled when he wrote it out. I also kept going to Accu which was really a help not just for the anxiety but for my headaches and muscle spasms.

But I still had niggling feelings all wasn't right with my head. I was getting dizzy spells now and again and this really was getting me anxious. So 2 months after all this began I went to a neurologist to finally get my brain tumour diagnosis. During all these little checks I kept saying I have a tumour don't I. He finally puts down his eye lookey thing and says why do you keep asking me this? We go through the whole sordid tale. He laughs and says you badly sprained your neck. The dizziness was from nerve pressure and explained many things to me. So he gave me some prescription for a muscle relaxer. I made my husband the drug trial dummy before taking it. A habit that continues today. I ditched my psych telling him I found someone else. At this stage I had a collection of Paxil and I was still afraid he'd send me to an institution to make me take my drugs.

Something I did learn in addition to all this. Prior to my 2 months of dilemma, we had 4 friends die from the track. Not at the track. 2 died in a car accident on the way to work, one was goofing around on a tire swing and fell off. He got up and said, that was stupid before collapsing dead, and the other was killed in a hit and run. That all weighed heavy on my mind.

I suppose that my anxiety is some of the reason I couldn't really make it as a jockey. Ok no talent either but it really didn't suit the way my mind works. And also why I'm happy doing what I do with my horses but competing leaves me anxious. I can almost always talk myself out of attacks nowadays but now and again we have to go through the routine. This is my sitting outside no matter the time or the weather and my husband has to talk to me about stupid stuff. He has to ask me silly questions and we have to just keep going until I'm ok. Kudos to him for being a good husband. I hate crowds and flying is not my thing. I take lots of Valium so usually have to count arriving and departing days as lost days. I also have to laugh at myself. If I was telling the story in person we would be laughing at my expense and I would expect that. I'm not against anti depressants and think they help so many people but I had some not so nice professionals pushing them on me in a way I was not comfortable with and so they are not an option for me. Plus I don't mind being less than perfect. I don't care that I'm odd and a little out there. I've learned to deal with this in a positive way.

And through it all I had horses to get on everyday that made me continue on. Some of my most favorite horses are from this time because they helped me through something very difficult.

The best thing you can do OP is get help. Have friend's who you can laugh with. I know my friend's were very considerate and supportive but yet also got me laughing. If you have a bad patch know it won't last. I keep a journal as this helps. Write down your fears and then close the book. Embrace that you may be a little different but that you really are ok. Have a routine if you can to talk yourself out of attacks.

Hugs to you and I hope things get easier.

Terri
 
Well PS if it helps someone not feel so alone it's a good thing. Often times people feel so ashamed and it's not right. And it's not fair. If anyone who has a friend or family member that deals with this type of stuff, just be a little more understanding. Things like just deal with it are not what you want to hear. And it makes you feel so much worse. I heard that a lot from people who I thought were friends. But I found out who my real friends were which wasn't a bad thing. I struggle with letting some things go but I get there in the end.

Terri
 
Equilibrium Ireland said:
Well PS if it helps someone not feel so alone it's a good thing. Often times people feel so ashamed and it's not right. And it's not fair. If anyone who has a friend or family member that deals with this type of stuff, just be a little more understanding. Things like just deal with it are not what you want to hear. And it makes you feel so much worse. I heard that a lot from people who I thought were friends. But I found out who my real friends were which wasn't a bad thing. I struggle with letting some things go but I get there in the end.

Terri
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I cant read all your posts on my phone but will read it all when I get on my laptop. but the thing you just said above is so true! when I first got diagnosed with depression/anxiety I wouldn't talk about it because I was so embarrassed, and when I went for my first therapy session there was a big sign on the door saying Mental Health and I just thought omg Im not mental!

I hate it when people just say "just go listen to music and it will be fine" its like erm no it wont! But now I can laugh and openly talk about my depression/anxiety which some people may feel awkward about but it shouldnt be awkward at all, the amount of people with a mental health illness these days is unreal
 
Hollie it's so true. When I was in the waiting room on one of my visits there were 2 guys there waiting as well. You kind of sit there like, hmmm wonder what they have. So we were all sitting awkward like flipping through Psychology Today, and I'm like ok what have you got. I'm anxiety with panic. They're like so are we! We actually had a laugh amongst ourselves about our more funny outbursts.

I had a very good friend go through several bouts in an institution. She was psychotic but she's now a therapist and doing unbelievably well for herself. At any rate, I went to see her nearly everyday in the institution. This was an eye opener for me. Some days when I went to visit she was horrific. Some days she dropped me off with the other patients playing cards and would disappear. Still worse was her moments that she told me family secrets about MY parents. I still remember making that call after visiting hours to my Dad. Nothing crazy just things a daughter shouldn't know but I was like, oh yeah now it all makes sense. Yes we laugh about that too!

But I will never forget the feeling of being buzzed out when living. The feeling was there is a very fine line between normal and not so normal.

Terri
 
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