Anyone have a super nervy/anxious horses that feeds off your nerves if nervous too?

[Stenners]

As above! What have you/do you do to try to overcome this? Do you do desensitization work etc? Would love to hear stories about where you came from to where you are now

 

[JBM]

Could try the trt method? Works for some not for others

 

[lynz88]

Mine is not a confident horse and feeds off of me and I feed off of him. There are times where we really are counterproductive for each other. I find it very beneficial to ride with someone else who can remind me to sit more deep, "let go", relax, and breathe. I also speak to myself and to horse....I find it helps us both. I have recently determined that some of my lack of confidence has been related to my own physical ailments. I do a lot of groundwork for exposure which I find also helps significantly.

 

[Stenners]

Mine is not a confident horse and feeds off of me and I feed off of him. There are times where we really are counterproductive for each other. I find it very beneficial to ride with someone else who can remind me to sit more deep, "let go", relax, and breathe. I also speak to myself and to horse....I find it helps us both. I have recently determined that some of my lack of confidence has been related to my own physical ailments. I do a lot of groundwork for exposure which I find also helps significantly.

Does your horse lack confidence in all situations? hacking/schooling etc?

 

[humblepie]

Envisge yourself as a brave rider and give the horse confidence. What is the saying "fake it til you make it". I find chatting to the horse or making a joke with him also helps as it makes me breathe.

 

[jofwigby]

I am a jumper - I have a serious word with myself and make a plan. I have watched others, read and got myself up to speed on Learning Theory. This has helped enormously. Having more empathy and patience why a pony is scared/jumpy has actually helped me be less nervous - and I don't force myself to do things that make me nervous.
We have a very traumatised pony at the moment - very jumpy and reactive - I go slow, let him know where I am and talk crap

 

[dorsetladette]

Yep - we keep everything inside his comfort zone and decided a few years ago he wouldn't be a ridden horse. Luckily he's nice to look at and has taken to in hand showing quite well.

 

[lynz88]

Does your horse lack confidence in all situations? hacking/schooling etc?

he generally lacks confidence in "new things" or if his own confidence has been shaken after an incident. It can be evident on a hack or even schooling. We had a very minor accident over a crossrail where for whatever reason he just crashed through it and we both ended up on the ground. We brushed ourselves off and continued no probs. But a few weeks later I went to jump him and he flat out refused. He wouldn't even walk over a ground pole so had to go right back to basics. The other week he was attacked by a dog and though seemed fine immediately after, his confidence dropped and was spooky at anything and everything for a few days afterwards so have been doing ground work with him.

(all that said, he also is quite laid back and doesn't usually care about much of anything. But that doesn't mean he has confidence....he really can be his own worst enemy sometimes)

 

[Sprogladite01]

Things that have helped me:

• BWRT therapy - I did two sessions with Kate Osmaston which helped (somehow) remove that anxious/sick feeling at the thought of getting on. I still have nerves but nothing like what they used to be
• A new (to me) saddle - my previous K&M saddle made me feel extremely tipped forward. I now have an Albion K2 which I feel so much more secure in! Amazing what a difference it made
• Setting small targets. Literally started as small as 'get on the horse' and have gradually built up. Walk in the arena for two mins. Trot down the long side. And so on
• In hand work before getting on in the school (so I can see my mare has relaxed before I get on - makes me feel better, which makes her feel better)
• Having someone walk with me on foot for hacking - especially if they can chew my ear off and distract me from being anxious lol

We are now schooling happily without issues, in spite of previous "triggers" still being present. Hacking is a bit more nerve wracking but we are getting there with the help of a fantastic (and talkative, lol) instructor. To be honest just taking the pressure off myself helped massively. Literally nobody but me cares whether I ride or not!

 

[lynz88]

• A new (to me) saddle - my previous K&M saddle made me feel extremely tipped forward. I now have an Albion K2 which I feel so much more secure in! Amazing what a difference it made

This can make an absolute significant difference alone. I actually feel more secure in the dressage saddles that I've been riding in than anything I've ridden in before. I've never fallen off using my close contact saddle but I feel far more secure in the 2 dressage saddles both my horse and I have liked.

OP do you have any physical ailments that makes you feel not as strong or strong enough to handle surprises? I was really favouring 1 side, was very kinked up and lopsided, and often in some sort of pain and knew that if horse did anything, I wouldn't be able to physically handle it but since I've taken to chiro & PT, I've felt a lot stronger (and am a lot stronger!) and confident which has helped horse as well.

 

[Stenners]

Things that have helped me:

• BWRT therapy - I did two sessions with Kate Osmaston which helped (somehow) remove that anxious/sick feeling at the thought of getting on. I still have nerves but nothing like what they used to be
• A new (to me) saddle - my previous K&M saddle made me feel extremely tipped forward. I now have an Albion K2 which I feel so much more secure in! Amazing what a difference it made
• Setting small targets. Literally started as small as 'get on the horse' and have gradually built up. Walk in the arena for two mins. Trot down the long side. And so on
• In hand work before getting on in the school (so I can see my mare has relaxed before I get on - makes me feel better, which makes her feel better)
• Having someone walk with me on foot for hacking - especially if they can chew my ear off and distract me from being anxious lol

We are now schooling happily without issues, in spite of previous "triggers" still being present. Hacking is a bit more nerve wracking but we are getting there with the help of a fantastic (and talkative, lol) instructor. To be honest just taking the pressure off myself helped massively. Literally nobody but me cares whether I ride or not!

I am similar to you but the other way round! Hacking he's generally good but will sense when you are nervous but if you relax he can plod along like a dog! In the school he can be an anxious ball and can go into flight mode if he hears a noise and can't see anything - he doens't like nto being able to see what he can hear and our arena in one palce has high walls he can't see over. He's a very sensitive soul anyway bless him.

 

[gostelr]

I have one of these. He is quite sensitive & spooky & it has been a rough winter in the indoor arena for both of us. A few things I am trying right now after months of vet checks for everything under the sun are:

1 - an attitude adjustment for me. He was suppposed to be my hunter/jumper and I had PLANS but his head just isn't there. He's still my lifetime horse & I'm his person. I need to be flexible and respond to the horse I've got on any given day and accept that some days are not going to be riding days. He is happy if he's mooching around doing groundwork, being handwalked, ground driven or hanging out being brushed and doing stretches. Part of this is ignoring what 'everyone else' is getting on and doing with their ponies. It's all horse time and he's a lovely boy.

2 - after repeated hitting of the dirt which shattered both of our confidence, I started with tiny in saddle goals such as 'today I will get on and then I will dismount' 'today we will walk round the arena once', 'today I will get on and just sit for 10 minutes etc'. & if I change environment eg) from the indoor arena to the outdoor arena or outdoor wandering around the property, I start back at the beginning again.

3 - I bought an Australian saddle about a month ago. So far the extra weight seems to be damping down his more athletic spook reactions and the mickey mouse ear design is giving me more confidence that it should be harder for me to go flying past his shoulder as he executes a 180 direction change at whatever catches his eye in the moment. I feel like it will be months before I am ready to be back in my close contact jump saddle.

4 - I also signed up for TRT. I don't know that it's 'fixing' him yet as he has a lot of things to unpick which are going to take time, repetition and positive experiences to get over in his head, but it does give us direction so the groundwork has structure and you get the shared perspective of folks who have signed up because they are likely going through a similar situation to you.

 

[Stenners]

I have one of these. He is quite sensitive & spooky & it has been a rough winter in the indoor arena for both of us. A few things I am trying right now after months of vet checks for everything under the sun are:

1 - an attitude adjustment for me. He was suppposed to be my hunter/jumper and I had PLANS but his head just isn't there. He's still my lifetime horse & I'm his person. I need to be flexible and respond to the horse I've got on any given day and accept that some days are not going to be riding days. He is happy if he's mooching around doing groundwork, being handwalked, ground driven or hanging out being brushed and doing stretches. Part of this is ignoring what 'everyone else' is getting on and doing with their ponies. It's all horse time and he's a lovely boy.

2 - after repeated hitting of the dirt which shattered both of our confidence, I started with tiny in saddle goals such as 'today I will get on and then I will dismount' 'today we will walk round the arena once', 'today I will get on and just sit for 10 minutes etc'. & if I change environment eg) from the indoor arena to the outdoor arena or outdoor wandering around the property, I start back at the beginning again.

3 - I bought an Australian saddle about a month ago. So far the extra weight seems to be damping down his more athletic spook reactions and the mickey mouse ear design is giving me more confidence that it should be harder for me to go flying past his shoulder as he executes a 180 direction change at whatever catches his eye in the moment. I feel like it will be months before I am ready to be back in my close contact jump saddle.

4 - I also signed up for TRT. I don't know that it's 'fixing' him yet as he has a lot of things to unpick which are going to take time, repetition and positive experiences to get over in his head, but it does give us direction so the groundwork has structure and you get the shared perspective of folks who have signed up because they are likely going through a similar situation to you.

This sounds similar to my boy! I only got him in February and was aware he can be nervy/takes confidence from his rider etc and I'm in touch with his 2 previous owners who said the same and they said he wasn't treated well as a youngster on Bodmin Moor (he has an old headcollar scar on his nose) so from a young age he lost all faith in the human race! Sales yard i got him from said he's super nervy on the ground (I haven't found this with me at all and equally they couldn't catch him, I've never had an issue). However he is very nervy with new people - doesn't do anything but will eyeball them for about 20 minutes until he realises they won't hurt him and then he's fine! He does this wih Farrier/Physio, people on the yard he doesn't really know etc.

Riding wise he's a really good boy and as long as he can stop and look at something worrying him he will then go on but if you are nervous he gets very very nervous! In the school he's more wary - you even go to put your leg on and he panics (he's not like that hacking_ he's definately not one you need to kick but can put pressure on and he's super responsive. W'eve been doing lots of groundwork and we are building such a bond but in the school he just panics if he hears a noise and can't see where its coming from (due to high walls) wish resulted in me hitting the deck at the weekend as he just panicked when soemone came out of the barn behind him and he happened to be in the part of the school at the the time that he is wary of.

What is the TRT method and how do I go about this? I'm doing my best to make sure i 'breathe' and give him confidence! He's doing super well but he's defiantely not at the stage yet to be going off schooling/jumping anywhere. His owners have said he takes time to settle and once he's trusts you he will do anything and be amazing

 

[gostelr]

More info on trt to see if it is right for you is at:
www.trtmethod.com

Basically a ton of videos and case studies and a discussion forum for pointers. the odd live Q&A event for feedback. Lots of submitting your own vids for feedback and pointers from other members. I bought a lifetime membership as I work through things very much at my own pace.

 

[paddy555]

This sounds similar to my boy! I only got him in February and was aware he can be nervy/takes confidence from his rider etc and I'm in touch with his 2 previous owners who said the same and they said he wasn't treated well as a youngster on Bodmin Moor (he has an old headcollar scar on his nose) so from a young age he lost all faith in the human race! Sales yard i got him from said he's super nervy on the ground (I haven't found this with me at all and equally they couldn't catch him, I've never had an issue). However he is very nervy with new people - doesn't do anything but will eyeball them for about 20 minutes until he realises they won't hurt him and then he's fine! He does this wih Farrier/Physio, people on the yard he doesn't really know etc.

Riding wise he's a really good boy and as long as he can stop and look at something worrying him he will then go on but if you are nervous he gets very very nervous! In the school he's more wary - you even go to put your leg on and he panics (he's not like that hacking_ he's definately not one you need to kick but can put pressure on and he's super responsive. W'eve been doing lots of groundwork and we are building such a bond but in the school he just panics if he hears a noise and can't see where its coming from (due to high walls) wish resulted in me hitting the deck at the weekend as he just panicked when soemone came out of the barn behind him and he happened to be in the part of the school at the the time that he is wary of.

What is the TRT method and how do I go about this? I'm doing my best to make sure i 'breathe' and give him confidence! He's doing super well but he's defiantely not at the stage yet to be going off schooling/jumping anywhere. His owners have said he takes time to settle and once he's trusts you he will do anything and be amazing

I suspect your problems are his early start. I have seen (and indeed have) ponies like this. Something goes wrong as a feral youngster and it stays with them for a very long time.
It takes years and even then I haven't found they become your average "friendly with everyone" animal. They remain reserved with others and bond with their human.

On the moors he would be able to see danger, stop and look and assess it and then run. When ponies get brought in from the moor they are often herded together into a coral/ crush/yard/barn etc. Then they may be driven around often by men. Most have no problem but if one has been treated badly as yours sounds to have been they are stuck in the middle. I would guess that is why yours has problems in the school with high walls. He simply feels trapped, he cannot assess the danger, cannot see where it is coming from and can't do anything to protect himself. All he can do is remember the past when he may have been trapped in that sort of situation, even if only in a barn or stable. His natural feral instinct kicks in.

I think it will take a long time before he can cope with your school. Outside hacking is a lot easier for him.

I am familiar with the TRT method, which is an excellent method for "normal" problem horses but I don't think it would be good for this little chap. I would guess he doesn't need ATM to learn to be comfortable in his own space away from you but he needs a lot of support close to you.


I would concentrate on hacking out. If it is a case of you get nervous and he does and so he cannot feel he relies on you then perhaps adjust your rides and when you know there will be a difficult part get off and lead. Don't let him get into the nervous situation but just lead him, walking out in front of him and you "plod on"
If you are happy long reining try that. You yourself may be less nervous and so then will he.

If he only came in Feb then it is VERY early days. I think this sort take a very very long time in comparison to other horses. However he sounds pretty wonderful and you will have the most amazing bond with him if you give him time so that he trusts you.

 

[paddy555]

I was going to find you a link for TRT but there are so many. If you go onto youtube you will find lots of videos. If you google TRT I think you can sign up for 7 days for free.

 

[soloequestrian]

Mine is a fairly reactive warmblood. I've always fed magnesium as part of a general supplement but now she also gets Nupafeed MAH which is a lot more magnesium. It has made a noticeable difference to her - we can actually go around the arena track now rather than being a banana in the middle all the way round. Such a relief.

 

[Stenners]

I suspect your problems are his early start. I have seen (and indeed have) ponies like this. Something goes wrong as a feral youngster and it stays with them for a very long time.
It takes years and even then I haven't found they become your average "friendly with everyone" animal. They remain reserved with others and bond with their human.

On the moors he would be able to see danger, stop and look and assess it and then run. When ponies get brought in from the moor they are often herded together into a coral/ crush/yard/barn etc. Then they may be driven around often by men. Most have no problem but if one has been treated badly as yours sounds to have been they are stuck in the middle. I would guess that is why yours has problems in the school with high walls. He simply feels trapped, he cannot assess the danger, cannot see where it is coming from and can't do anything to protect himself. All he can do is remember the past when he may have been trapped in that sort of situation, even if only in a barn or stable. His natural feral instinct kicks in.

I think it will take a long time before he can cope with your school. Outside hacking is a lot easier for him.

I am familiar with the TRT method, which is an excellent method for "normal" problem horses but I don't think it would be good for this little chap. I would guess he doesn't need ATM to learn to be comfortable in his own space away from you but he needs a lot of support close to you.


I would concentrate on hacking out. If it is a case of you get nervous and he does and so he cannot feel he relies on you then perhaps adjust your rides and when you know there will be a difficult part get off and lead. Don't let him get into the nervous situation but just lead him, walking out in front of him and you "plod on"
If you are happy long reining try that. You yourself may be less nervous and so then will he.

If he only came in Feb then it is VERY early days. I think this sort take a very very long time in comparison to other horses. However he sounds pretty wonderful and you will have the most amazing bond with him if you give him time so that he trusts you.

This is super helpful thank you so much and the situation you describe seems almost what may have happened to him! He's been in other arena without high walls and was much better and when i tried him it was very open and he's super response and forward but he wasn't reactive nd spooky as he could see everything around him.
Yes long lining i love and we have been doing lots of that as he was weak behind when he arrived and after a full vet check and physio he had a couple weeks off and then lots of groundwork before getting back on board and he's so good to long rein he's like a dog! I got really comfy hacking him and he's been super (he's also done a lot of it before) but when i hit the deck at the weekend that made me super nervous and tuesdays ride was a nervous wreck which didnt help him very much but he was a really good boy considering! People at the yard have said already what a bond we have in such a short space of time and I'm really the only one that handles/deals with him. We've gone lots of lunging and ground work in the school also. He's the sweetest boy who with time will hopefully be able to partially over come his fear. We have the mcuk heap right behind the wall and its high in one place and not another so often he panics when he sees a head bobbing along to the muck heap poor lad.

He's super chilled in the stable/field and when i'm not around etc - he's a good boy like that. He takes soo much confidence from a rider/someone on the ground.

 

[Stenners]

Mine is a fairly reactive warmblood. I've always fed magnesium as part of a general supplement but now she also gets Nupafeed MAH which is a lot more magnesium. It has made a noticeable difference to her - we can actually go around the arena track now rather than being a banana in the middle all the way round. Such a relief.

I have just started Magnesium too and also Buck Off and I noticed a difference really quickly with Buck Off so I'll continue to use it.

 

[Wishfilly]

I am similar to you but the other way round! Hacking he's generally good but will sense when you are nervous but if you relax he can plod along like a dog! In the school he can be an anxious ball and can go into flight mode if he hears a noise and can't see anything - he doens't like nto being able to see what he can hear and our arena in one palce has high walls he can't see over. He's a very sensitive soul anyway bless him.

I think this is quite a common trigger for spooking, my pony isn't keen on this at all- if you think about it, it makes evolutionary sense for horses to react first and ask questions later.

Mine is better if you can keep him moving forward- I know this is somewhat contrary to a lot of advice about allowing time to process etc, but if he can keep moving his feet he is a lot less reactive- whereas if he feels trapped then the reaction is often a lot bigger. It's improved a lot with time and age, but he definitely still reacts to the rider's mood as well!

 

[saalsk]

Fab advice already - so just adding that what helped me to relax, which then helped/helps nervous horse, was singing or whistling (quiet humming if there are people around !) a song - pick a song you know and like, or just a chorus, or line, where the line is quite long, but you can do it in one breath. I use the theme for the Archers, and do each line slowly, in one complete breath. It makes you slow your breathing, and get rid of CO2 , which then helps you relax and drops your breathing and heart rate. Helps for all anxious times - running late, job interview, etc etc !

 

[sbloom]

It's really common for horses not to feel truly safe, and this is a prerequisite for training. Follow Amy Skinner Horsemanship on FB, she has a great "len" for these issues. Bear in mind that it's also common for the lack of safety to be rooted in physical issues, often sub clinical, ie a vet wont find anything, so have an objective look at stance/posture and muscling. Remember the weakest horse in the herd is lunch for a predator, and thus influences horses behaviour even more than we realise.

 

[paddy555]

if you think about it, it makes evolutionary sense for horses to react first and ask questions later.

many domestic horses are born into a life of domesticity. They may be foaled in a stable/paddock, humans protecting them, mother grew up in similar circumstances. Often handled very young, kept in "safety" Even in herds of youngsters turned out together there is considerable safety with "domesticity"

for a feral youngster that doesn't exist. If mother is a feral then she is basically a "wild" horse. Baby immediately learns the same. Mum takes great care of herself and baby along the lines that a "wild" horse will know by instinct. Youngster grows up having learnt that is how you live. Domestic youngster grows up knowing there is a stable/yard and safety at the end of the day.
domestic youngster probably learns that something bad is not nice but that is all. For the feral, more reticent and wordly wise youngster then it adds to his list of danger to be avoided.

Stenners, not sure if you have already done it but can you feed (bucket and hay) in the school and leave him to it. Starting in a very safe exposed area and working up to doing it next to a high wall, under the dung heap etc. Doesn't have to be long, say half an hour a session. Rather than being led into the school and mounted and restricted and that is the view he gets he learns that going into the school is feed time Something to be enjoyed. He will jump away when people appear above the dung heap but after a while it will just become "boring"

 

[Stenners]

many domestic horses are born into a life of domesticity. They may be foaled in a stable/paddock, humans protecting them, mother grew up in similar circumstances. Often handled very young, kept in "safety" Even in herds of youngsters turned out together there is considerable safety with "domesticity"

for a feral youngster that doesn't exist. If mother is a feral then she is basically a "wild" horse. Baby immediately learns the same. Mum takes great care of herself and baby along the lines that a "wild" horse will know by instinct. Youngster grows up having learnt that is how you live. Domestic youngster grows up knowing there is a stable/yard and safety at the end of the day.
domestic youngster probably learns that something bad is not nice but that is all. For the feral, more reticent and wordly wise youngster then it adds to his list of danger to be avoided.

Stenners, not sure if you have already done it but can you feed (bucket and hay) in the school and leave him to it. Starting in a very safe exposed area and working up to doing it next to a high wall, under the dung heap etc. Doesn't have to be long, say half an hour a session. Rather than being led into the school and mounted and restricted and that is the view he gets he learns that going into the school is feed time Something to be enjoyed. He will jump away when people appear above the dung heap but after a while it will just become "boring"

This is a really good idea! No I haven't but I've lunged him in there and done some groundwork etc. So yes I may well give this a go however he's currently off games . He arrived with what was thought a weakness in his left hind, now vet think it's a stifle issue after all

 

[motherof2beasts!]

this sounds like pretty bad advice but I try and focus on anything but the ride, in my head I’ll be running through work , planning something /anything really other than the what might happen. My boy is generally a saint in the school but nervy hacking. I noticed I was on high alert /risk assessing (oh look there’s a postbox /bin/dog/plastic bag) and was subconsciously reacting , shortening reins, kind of telling him something worrying ahead. I still spot things but force myself to unspot them . It sounds crazy I know but has made a difference, I talk to him s lot too . I’ve not been brave enough to try passing cows yet though , I’m not sure my nerves could fake it after his last reaction.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

My Louis knows when I'm not in a good confidence space and he will either be a lazy sod or just spook at silly things or at literally nothing, his so clever at knowing my mood and also knows how to rattle me.

His quite reactive to what's going on around the school and wind cold rain can have an impact on him, take Monday for instance it turned cold windy raining and I had a lesson at 10am which I really didn't fancy, I was also a bit stressed as all my fencing had come down in my field.

Hence to say it was not an enjoyable lesson to start with we had spooking at the trees blowing, napping and having a leap about at nothing in particular.

Instructor gets me doing a bit of shoulder in leg yield and keeping it all on a circle, making sure I keep him bending to the inside and generally keeping him busy, after about 15 minutes he settled and was much easier.

I've found if I go in and school with a really purpose and think of what I'm going to do his much better, I have to make it quite difficult for him to get his focus on me and then his much easier to ride.

I take Bach remedies and rescue remedy daily as since the menopause I suffer terribly with anxiety and I find this helps.

I also arrange to school with my friend and his alot better with another horse in the school and because we chat a bit my mind is not worrying so much.

 

[paddy555]

This is a really good idea! No I haven't but I've lunged him in there and done some groundwork etc. So yes I may well give this a go however he's currently off games . He arrived with what was thought a weakness in his left hind, now vet think it's a stifle issue after all

sorry to hear that. I see from your other thread you are going to get some news on this on Friday so I hope it goes well for you.

 

[Stenners]

sorry to hear that. I see from your other thread you are going to get some news on this on Friday so I hope it goes well for you.

Thank you