Anyone lost their jumping confidence, and got it back?

[skewby]

I used to compete as a youngster, my horse was destroyed when I was 17 and so was I as a result. Rode on and off when I got the chance, but didn't get another until I was 31. Got him started jumping and he was ace, loved it and would jump a house. Then he had saddle problems, I got them sorted but what with that and yards it was another year till we started jumping again. Found all my confidence to be gone. No idea why, horse was a bolter when I got him and got through that ok with confidence intact. But raise a pole off the ground and I freaked out.

We've been jumping again for a few years now, bar an injury (him, not me) we've been improving. But I'm not like I was. I get very wound up before jumping and am freezing on the approach to fences. Anyone got any tips how I get over this? Have a fab instructor and am trying to do more of it so it freaks me out less. Any advice so gratefully received. Thanks

xxx

 

[JustKickOn]

I had a horrible fall when I was about 10. Stupidly I didn't put my body protector on that day. Horse slammed on the breaks at a parallel, I went inbetween the fence and my back smacked off the back pole. I was in a great deal of pain and was out of action for a while. When I got back on a horse, I was fine flat work, but when my instructor mentioned jumping I was a shivvering wreck.

I still have muscular problems in my back, which would have been avoided had I put my BP on. Now I wear my body protector the majority of the time I jump.

It took 6 months of pole work and raised pole work for my confidence to be built up. Popped a small fence and realised it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was still nervous though. Plenty of deep breaths, lots of practice and only jumping what I felt comfortable with was what built up my confidence.

 

[MizElz]

I used to show jump at a reasonable level, and although I always suffered with nerves, that never seemed to curb my enjoyment. Then one day, both Ellie and I took a nasty fall - she somersaulted on top of me - and I never recovered my nerve afterwards (in spite of getting straight back on and jumping a cross pole with a busted hand

) I had a mini panic attack (only one I've ever had - not nice) one morning when we were due to go to a show, and that was it - I packed it in, there and then. That was three years ago now, and after vowing never to jump again, I managed to pop a couple of fences on a sponsored ride back in the spring....and last week, I had the hairbrained idea of *possibly* taking Ellie round the local clear round.....tomorrow we are off to borrow a school to see whether we can still get over a coloured pole!

I think the bottom line is, back off, and wait for your confidence to come back. It may or may not - there is no certainty, but you wont get anywhere by putting yourself under a strain - you'll end up at breaking point, like I did - or you could hurt yourself. But one day, you might suddenly feel that you want to jump - so go for it! That's what I'm doing

 

[xnaughtybutnicex]

No but have only jump lil ponio twice since last summer when she came back into work after 9 months off lame n she has been very excited since lol

 

[PapaFrita]

Me!! When I was in my teens I jumped a lot, competed, etc, and did fine. When I came back to it years late... complete wuss-ville!! A combination of things helped; Thought Field Therapy REALLY helped get rid of panicky feeling, then a good instructor helped me improve my riding build my confidence further. Course, a decent horse helps a lot too

 

[Mosh]

Sounds mad, but when you start to feel panicky you could try singing. It controls your breathing
I was always singing ba ba black sheep or twinkle little star as i was approaching fences and i still occasionally sing if my horse is being particularly difficult on that that day. I go down the road singing random s club 7 songs as thats all i usually remember

 

[ickelshadow]

me. definitely lost it.

used to jump when i was younger quite happily - perhaps not with as much skill or confidence as i would have liked, but would certainly have a crack at any fence given the option

i cant pin point when i lost it. i moved riding schools and a couple of the horses i didnt have a problem with and would happily pop 3' odd for fun. but then i seemed to move lessions and it all got a bit down hill. i rode several older, 'steadier' horses and the seemed to turn psycho with me and take off, to the extent where i would just not jump. full stop. you can't make me, thank you very much. but it wasnt just jumping, i seemed incapable of getting a cob to canter when previously i was riding in stage 3 lessons and loving it - double bridles, lateral work, you name it.

but then i started riding shadow again as she had moved to this new riding school and all lost skill was back in an instant, the instructors were stunned that A i could actually ride and produce some lovely work, and that B shadow was so capable and flexible (they seemed to work horses back to front whereas this just didnt sit with me and this is probably where i lost confidence in my riding as no horse was speaking my language - shadow was because she had taught me all i knew). not long after i started riding her again they broached putting up jumps for me, and i was the first to say hell yeah! there was not a moment of hesitation and no nerves at all - which in itself was unnerving! i was flying over fences in great style with her.

at the same time or just a month or so after, i started helping out a friend with her livery yard and sj-ers, so i statted having lessons. we had ridden together in lessons for years, knew me inside out, and obviously her own horses so that helped me thoroughly and it didnt take long to have me popping 3'9" massive spreads on a horse that had arrived 2 hours previously and whom gemma had not even ridden herself, in a field! unknown horse, unknown quantity! not phased because gemma had utter confidence in me and my jumping!

having a trustworthy horse and an instructor who knows how far to push you and has believe is absolutely the key to getting confidence back.

good luck, i'm sure your instructor will help you out hugely.

 

[Maloo]

Your not on your own..... I did lots years ago, then when daughter started doing more I did less = complete loss of confidence and turning into a gibbering wreck at the mere thought of jumping anything! But daughter has not so much being teaching me as bullying me (in the nicest possible way) to jump again - she has been so patient building teeny weeny fences and even getting on my horse and doing them herself to show me its ok!! Then last weekend she talked me into having a lesson with one of her trainers - I explained to him how I felt and he was great. The most important thing he said was that peoples confidence vary as they go through life and not to worry as it would come back.
I think my advice to you would be ride/school with someone you trust and who knows your capabilities - and get them to do what my daughter did - build piddly fences until you find you can breath on the approach

(!!) and go from there - but remember its not a race, you dont have to do it and the majority of us have horses for fun and relaxation. So dont put too much pressure on yourself - its sounds as if you are almost there - just keep going (thats what I intend to do - who knows we both might make the teams for 2012!!!!)

Maloo

 

[ladyt25]

I and my horse lost our confidence several years ago. i think it stemmed form him having a back injury and refusing to jump (for the first time since I'd ever had him). I was so un-used to him stopping it shocked me and I lost trust in him and this sort of started a vicious circle really as he then of course sensed I was not 100% commited to a fence and he was stopping more often (I actually started getting eliminated!).

I stopped enjoying jumping and got tense before going in and so did my horse and it just went from bad to worse. I actually preferred x-country as once I was set going we were fine.

I am actually annoyed at myself it has taken me so long to get my confidence back but i think I'm just about there. It actually really helped my sister going away for a year and me having to ride her horse aswell aho jumps a lot more fluidly than mine although he's younger and less experienced. As he jumped so well it made me think "well, mine bloody should as well seeing as he's had so many years, competing BSJA etc".

Anyway, we have come on leaps and bounds over the last year and are doing intro BE events and I think I may try BSJA again in the winter.

You said your horse likes to 'look' at fences first in a previous post? Well, mien was the same and I lost the 'kick on' I used to give him. Have you thought of maybe jumping/having a lesson on a real school master? Something that will just take you round nicely so you can get a proper 'feel' for jumping again? My sister's horse jumps in that way, a nice balanced stride, doesn't strugle with any distances (mine does) and it justy gives you back your confidence I think. I had previously lost my confidence many years ago on ponies and was getting stops. Got a pony on loan (mine had spavin) who jumped fab and lo and behold my pony started jumping well again - they sense so much how you are feeling I think it does do you good to just get on a true confidence-giving jumper for a bit.

 

[poiuytrewq]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to compete as a youngster, my horse was destroyed when I was 17 and so was I as a result. Rode on and off when I got the chance, but didn't get another until I was 31. Got him started jumping and he was ace, loved it and would jump a house. Then he had saddle problems, I got them sorted but what with that and yards it was another year till we started jumping again. Found all my confidence to be gone. No idea why, horse was a bolter when I got him and got through that ok with confidence intact. But raise a pole off the ground and I freaked out.

We've been jumping again for a few years now, bar an injury (him, not me) we've been improving. But I'm not like I was. I get very wound up before jumping and am freezing on the approach to fences. Anyone got any tips how I get over this? Have a fab instructor and am trying to do more of it so it freaks me out less. Any advice so gratefully received. Thanks

xxx

[/ QUOTE ]



Have you tried rescue remedy? I have no idea if it actually works but i once used it before the terrifiying job of getting on my new horse for the first time- he hadn't been ridden in months! And i was no-where near as nervous as i felt i should have been, so maybe it did work or maybe just knowing i had taken it made me more confident.- You can also give to the horse.

 

[LindaW]

Me too. I used to jump up to FH level, and had an old Grade A that I still did small opens and the like with - whenever she was eligible. Used to get a bit fluttery before going in the ring, but always fine once we started.

Nothing happened, after I lost all 3 sj'er, one to injury and 2 to old age, I found my confidence started to go, and got to the stage where I'd ask for one side of a crosspole to be put down, people that knew me before couldn't believe it.

Got it back hunting. I went out a few times on OJ days, then popped the odd small one when we met them (and the horse I have now doesn';t jump - he was a dressage/shoing ponce) now we jump everything that I can reasonably ask of a non jumper, and I'm happy doing up to 3ft3/3ft 6ish depending on how friendly the fence looks.

 

[damsel]

I used to be terrified of jumping when i first got my tbxwelsh Willow. She was very fast and very flighty and loved to jump. It took me about 2years before i could do 2ft 6" and not be worried. Then my mum who has been brilliant put it up to 3ft and i was terrified and poor willow who was so confused because i kept pulling her out of it. My mum was telling me that i could do it but i was scared to death. Luckily my mum had enough patience and i went into it with my eyes shut and i was crying i was so scared. Willow jumped it perfectly and i was so pleased with her as i was useless. Ever since then i have had no problems with jumping anything i even entered a chase me charlie where we jumped 3ft 6" and it was nothing. That was the biggest turning point for me and i am so grateful my mum has been so good with me. The best thing to do is just look ahead because you are focusing too much on the jump just sit up and look over the jump. I used to put a cone on the other side of the jump and concerntrate on that and before i knew it i was over the jump. Just have a bit of faith in yourself and the horse

 

[Baileyhoss]

me. I used to have a lovely honest joe on loan. Cobby type that would jump anything to please you. A really lovely leg in each corner type. We had a whale of a time stomping round cross country courses and showjumps, but having him lulled me into a false sense of security thinking i was a better rider than I was, so I made the fatal mistake of going and buying a youngster when the loan finished.

I ended up with 4yo b and it all went rapidly down hill. He was so sharp and had such spring, I just couldn't cope. To cut a long story short, after many many mishaps we had both lost our confidence in each other jumping. I had pressure on me to sell him (although we still loved to hack and school) and we weren't happy. We moved yards and ended up at our current yard, which is quite competative, but in a nice way. made lots of friends and one girl who was very into show jumping, but was between rideable horses and she took a shine to bailey. She nursed him through his sticky stage, which we could never seem to get over, fell of him 3 times, then it all clicked and I started to see him really enjoy it! and oh my god, what a jump he had, i had never seen him jump higher than 2'6 and all of a sudden he was sailing over 1m spreads.
This gave me such a kick up the arse. I was letting this talent go to waste and he was really enjoying himself. Soo, I gave myself a big shake, started making myself do it, every opportunity I could coller someone to do poles for me. I lost weight and bought a saddle with better knee rolls and 1 year of hard work later, we are about to try our first intro and I can't wait!!!. I still have 'moments', especially if we haven't jumped for a few weeks, but I just start at whatever height I am comfortable with, and after popping that a few times i start to relax and they can go back up. I am so familiar with that jelly legs feeling and the flutterbyes in my stomach, but you can overcome it if you are determined.

don't go beyond your comfort zone to start with, gradually build up your goals. So much of it is attitude. remember when you were a kid and didn't give a stuff how you got over as long as you did it. and when things went wrong and you wooped and laughed as you hit a wrong stride or landed up their necks. That's what you need to get back!
F x

 

[Gorgeous George]

used to jump a lot as a kid and even more recently and loved, but about 5 years ago the horse slammed on the anchors and I went flying into the jump and broke ribs in my back and cracked my pelvis - ouch! I sort of got my confidence back after that and then last year whilst trying a horse before I got G I fell off over a tiny jump when the horse jumped 4ft in the air and broke my nose and dislocated and broke my finger I just lost my confidence completely. Very very slowly with my instructor we started as if I'd never jumped before, I can now jump 1ft-1ft 6" without panicing too much. I know it isn't much but we are taking it really slowly, and so far George has been looking after me.

 

[Jericho]

I'm exactly the same, jumped BSJA in younger days. Now, after having children and a break from riding for 10 or so years I thought I would get straight back on and jump! Oh no..... I feel physically sick everytime I even think about jumping. I had grand plans of doing some local shows, jumping etc but after having a few lessons and popping around some fences at home (and a disastrous attempt at xc when I first got my mare back in Feb) I have since decided it just is not worth it - I know I can sit a decent size fence (although by no means am I any good!) and jumped lots of prospective horses when I was looking for my mare but thought of entering a jumping comp feels me with dread. So have decided that I wanted a horse to enjoy and not get stressed over so will concentrate on dressage and happy hacking! So yes I have well and truly lost my confidence, and probably could get it back with lots of lessons and shows and putting myself outside of the comfort zone but I have to say I dont want to put that pressure on myself at my age and have accepted that jumping just 'aint' my thing anymore and will enjoy the things that I do want to do.
......Goes and gets slippers on and a blanket to put over my knees......

 

[xspiralx]

Me. I had a star of a horse, an ex intermediate eventer on loan, when I was 15. He gave me loads of confidence, and would jump anything provided I kept my leg on and rode properly. Then I got Taz, and totally lost my confidence because he had no confidence either, and would rush into a jump and then lose confidence and duck out at the last second. The only way he would jump is if I committed 100% and so it all went a bit to pot.

I had TFT to help me with my nerves, which helped tremendously, and then I got my last mare, Paris, who was a super jumping schoolmistress, and got very confident with her, although I didn't really get to compete her so still had a lot of nerves about that. Then I sold her and had a break from riding for almost two years at uni, which damaged my confidence a bit again, as I sort of forgot what I could do.

I got back into it this summer, and I have come to realise the value of having a good, honest horse. I am not so brave that I can cope with a horse that lacks confidence too, or has a habit of stopping or ducking out, but I still really enjoy my jumping, and on a good horse, 3ft6+ can feel easier than 2ft3 on a horse you don't really trust.

That was really rambling, I apologise! My advice is to try TFT [www.jocooper.com] - it really works in amazing ways. I used to do what you do, panic and freeze on the approach to fences, and end up dropping the horse, because I couldn't imagine getting over the fence, only stopping. I still have to conciously remind myself to sit back and keep the contact, but the TFT helped me so much. Instead of panicking I was able to stay calm and think clearly. I also recommend doing lots of things like grids - then you don't have to worry about getting the stride right, you can just concentrate on riding forward and keeping a good canter, and letting the fences just come. It might also help you to see if you can have some XC lessons on a really point and jump horse. I find xc less stressful than SJ and you can just really keep a forward rhythm - great for your confidence on a horse that will just jump anything, no fuss!

 

[Cop-Pop]

Me too

I'm slowly getting my confidence back at an RS with a horse that doesn't care if my eyes are open or not as we approach a jump

 

[katie_and_toto]

I had awful confidence about 2 years ago, at one stage this is the highest I would jump, and when asked if the jump could be put up one tyre higher I'd refuse to jump it.

Less than 1ft high (sorry about purple block, had to cut out another rider)

But recently I jumped this:
3ft high

Just carry on how you are, gradually building up to bigger jumps, you'll get there

 

[Lobelia_Overhill]

When I first started jumping I had oodles of confidence, I can remember jumping 3ft on a fat cob pony without batting an eyelid, but there was a horse at the riding school who was a bloody psycho, he'd any number of little "tricks" that he used to get his rider off, and he did it to me in the middle of a double, I went crashing head first into the poles of the second part and I thought I'd broken my neck and/or back. I was terrified of jumping after that. Then I got my own mare, she loved jumping, and would cart me over anything in her way, so I got my confidence back to jump up to 3ft again. Then I had to sell her and the nerves came back.

A few years ago I re-started riding and discovered an eye for a stride that I'd never had before and I was happily jumping 3ft-3ft 6. Now I ride at a different place, and my eye for a stride has gone. I'm not as nervous as I was, but I'm not overly keen on jumping ...

 

[EmbarrassingEllie]

I lost my confidence after having my first baby, it took a good instructor to get me back jumping and just popped a pole whenever I could. I always put a breastplate on and when I was approaching a fence I didn't like I would just touch the breastplate with my fingers ( without dropping the contact) this seemed to stop my subconscious from making my elbows go into reverse and actually giving my horsey stop signals. It's no fun I empathise with you.

 

[DiablosGold]

Yes, I totally lost confidence jumping a few years ago. After several nasty falls in a short space of time, changing horses and other (unhorsey) personal circumstances, I found I couldn't even jump a tiny X pole. This was after happily popping a metre on my old pony.

I found losing my confidence to be heart breaking, as I had lost something really precious to me, and obviously it's impossible to just magic it back.

To get me to be able to jump small jumps, I had a tiny (literally first hole) X pole set up in the school, all the time, and would make myself trot over it at least once every time I went in there.

Once I mastered that I bought quite a few books about regaining confidence when riding, and used the techniques in them. I also had a lesson every week with a friend, as I felt I couldn't manage it by myself.

And finally, after almost 2 years of hard work and lots of tears along the way I am jumping sj courses of 2'3" and jumping 2'9" at home, something which me and my horse are perfectly happy with at the moment. I am also finally enjoying XC again, something I never thought I would say!

It is possible but I think you have to really want your confidence back and work hard at it.

(Breathing exercises are amazing, they are in all the confidence self-help books.)

 

[skewby]

Well, wow. I didn't think I'd get any replies! It's really good to know that a) I'm not a complete freak, and b) that so many of you have GOT THROUGH IT. Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences!

Seems like a common theme is "take em down again". This is what I intend to do now - keep them tiny and really work on my position, and introduce grids (which we've done very little of, but which I like and which help my confidence as they take care of your striding).

PapaFrita and xspiralx I have emailed Jo about TFT, looks interesting. Wouldn't normally go for things like that but I'm willing to try anything!

ickelshadow your story is just amazing.

LadyT and xspiralx I have thought about jumping a "point and shoot", something experienced, as I think I have lost all my "feel". Green horse + out of practice rider = some very bumpy jumping! I might ring the local equestrian centre for a chat (I feel nervous at the thought of getting on another horse, but I'm sure I'd be fine once I got going!).

Harlequin I guzzle loads of RR

it really does help.

LindaW I am going hunting this year for that very reason

Lynseyt I don't blame you one bit, in fact I think you are brave making your decision. I may yet decide that it's just not for me this time around, now I have a mortgage and noone else to take care of either me or the horse should I be laid up for weeks! But I need to get this totally irrational fear in perspective, and if once I've done that I still, logically, think it's not worth the risk, I won't bother.

katie and toto what fab pics, thanks for sharing. The funny thing is that in 2006 I went from pure terror at a tiny x pole, to jumping a 3'3" upright (my instructor wanted to show me that my horse really can jump, cos he's a heavy lots of people tell me he won't be able to, and so she (quite rightly) thought that might be sticking in my head and affecting my confidence) but the annoying thing is I get to that stage, then I don't do it for a bit, then I'm just as wibbly as before! Well, not as wibbly as before - but not up to doing heights like that again (at the moment!).

DiablosGold do you have any book recommendations?

Thank you all, loads. I will keep you updated with my progress!